Possible to divorce your husband?

[TracyTN 237]

What the ex wife does? she always use their kids and my friend doesnt want to compete with kids.

so what she can do now? its not good to be quite at all times!

thanks

If your friend doesn't want to 'compete with kids', maybe she shouldn't have married someone who has kids from a prior relationship.

[Minya's wife 25]

does your friend realize how shallow this makes her seem? she married this man 'for better or worse' and because of such a trivial thing as an interfering ex she's ready to divorce? (Yes, compared to some real difficult "hardships" like financial ruin or illness, a meddling ex-spouse is trivial). IMO, she needs to re-evaluate her priorities and do her utmost to uphold the commitment she made when she said 'I do'.

[*JG* 2]

My friend was asking if possible to divorce her husband because of his ex wife (USC) until now the ex wife has nothing to do but to give bS to my friend and to her husband. Because the ex wife wants her to live miserable here in US like calling her a ####### etc..Asking her husband lot of stuff to do and the ex wife never stop messaging her husband almost everyday eventhough not related with the kids.

How does the divorce works? I mean do you have to have to text your ex knowing he is already married to another one??

obviously the ex wife wants to ruin their marriage by giving them a difficult situation end up arguing and fighting. my friend is trying to understand every circumstances but she's fed up!

she has 2 year GC.

any replies much appreciated.

CHeers!

I'm in this situation myself right now. You can just give up and divorce him if you want. But, why? If it's just the ex-wife, you need to find a way to deal with it. Tell your husband it is bothering you and see what you guys can work out. I've learned though, HE has to be the one to put his foot down and say stop this. And, sometimes they are loathe to do that because of the kids and her using them to get back at him for something or other. Or sometimes they are just plain chicken shyt and she's a big bully.

As far as saying stuff directly to her....in my experience, the ex will just say it behind the back. Never brave enough to say anything to your face. You just tough it out. Hold your head high. I don't even respond cause I know it's not true and I know he knows it's not true and I know everyone she is talking to that matters to me knows it's not true. I refuse to stoop down to her level.

If you want to talk some in private, PM me and I'll share. It's not easy; but if he is worth it, you will figure out a way to work it out.

My friend can read all her messages to her hubby. ex wife still messaging her hubby hoping and expecting they will be together soon by using their kids whewww!!!

Yeah, same here. But, instead she is trying to destroy him to get him to come back.....rob him blind, beat him down with insults, alienate the kids. I know what you are saying well.

Just hope one day she gives up!

[*JG* 2]

does your friend realize how shallow this makes her seem? she married this man 'for better or worse' and because of such a trivial thing as an interfering ex she's ready to divorce? (Yes, compared to some real difficult "hardships" like financial ruin or illness, a meddling ex-spouse is trivial). IMO, she needs to re-evaluate her priorities and do her utmost to uphold the commitment she made when she said 'I do'.

On the surface, I would say you are correct. But, until you are really there and know how bad this kind of a situation could actually be, I don't think that's a fair statement.

And the competing with the kids comment was just wrong. It's not about him actually having kids. It's about the ex using those kids to form wedges in the relationship. It's very serious.

Like I said earlier, if you want to PM me about this, please do so. I KNOW exactly what you mean here. I feel so sorry for her.

[Minya's wife 25]

does your friend realize how shallow this makes her seem? she married this man 'for better or worse' and because of such a trivial thing as an interfering ex she's ready to divorce? (Yes, compared to some real difficult "hardships" like financial ruin or illness, a meddling ex-spouse is trivial). IMO, she needs to re-evaluate her priorities and do her utmost to uphold the commitment she made when she said 'I do'.

On the surface, I would say you are correct. But, until you are really there and know how bad this kind of a situation could actually be, I don't think that's a fair statement.

And the competing with the kids comment was just wrong. It's not about him actually having kids. It's about the ex using those kids to form wedges in the relationship. It's very serious.

Like I said earlier, if you want to PM me about this, please do so. I KNOW exactly what you mean here. I feel so sorry for her.

You're right...one has to experience such a thing to truly understand. I guess given the little detail that has been offered by the OP, its not clear what the 'friend' has tried in order to remedy the situation...and it just seems a little premature to be thinking of divorce.

I absolutely agree with your previous post that a lot of the initiative to stop the ex's damage has to come from the spouse who's ex is the problem. Without that, whatever this lady does has little chance of success.

[Gemmie 142]

If I were in this position, I would tell my husband to grow a backbone and tell her to f#uck off.

If that didn't work, I would tell her myself and then completely ignore every attempt she made. If I was secure in knowing that my husband wanted nothing to do with her, and we had a strong marriage, I'd have nothing to worry about. In fact, I would find it laughable that this woman was messing in our lives. I'd tell her to get a life, and threaten her with the court.

Having said that, I'm not living it.

[*JG* 2]

does your friend realize how shallow this makes her seem? she married this man 'for better or worse' and because of such a trivial thing as an interfering ex she's ready to divorce? (Yes, compared to some real difficult "hardships" like financial ruin or illness, a meddling ex-spouse is trivial). IMO, she needs to re-evaluate her priorities and do her utmost to uphold the commitment she made when she said 'I do'.

On the surface, I would say you are correct. But, until you are really there and know how bad this kind of a situation could actually be, I don't think that's a fair statement.

And the competing with the kids comment was just wrong. It's not about him actually having kids. It's about the ex using those kids to form wedges in the relationship. It's very serious.

Like I said earlier, if you want to PM me about this, please do so. I KNOW exactly what you mean here. I feel so sorry for her.

You're right...one has to experience such a thing to truly understand. I guess given the little detail that has been offered by the OP, its not clear what the 'friend' has tried in order to remedy the situation...and it just seems a little premature to be thinking of divorce.

I absolutely agree with your previous post that a lot of the initiative to stop the ex's damage has to come from the spouse who's ex is the problem. Without that, whatever this lady does has little chance of success.

I didn't mean to sound harsh or pick on you at all. If it sounded like that, I do apologize. I am just in this situation myself and I can tell you that what's on the surface....and, yes, the little bit we have heard here....doesn't tell the entire story. It's so complicated. And, until you do experience it, you really have no idea how mean and vindictive women (at least in this cae) can be. What I have experienced has shown me things I didn't even think a person, let alone a mother, could actually do to get exactly what they want. It's so wrong.

I'm going to defend the husband too. Being caught in the middle is really no fun. He thinks sometimes he is protecting his relationship with his kids, when, personally I think he's doing more damage by letting it continue. But, it is really a fine line they are walking. When someone else controls your kids, it's hard not to cooperate just for the chance to see them. And, yeah, you can say they are protected by law and all that BS; but truth is, in the end, if you can't work it out between the two parents, it's could be a very long, drawn out battle that just hurts the children even more.

All that being said, only HE can voice his opinions and make the changes. The current wife can either stand back, advise, support, and be patient or they can decide it's too much for them to handle. I am currently sticking in there; but I can tell you it's not easy at all. Most days you feel like everyone is a pawn in some sick game.

[morocco4ever 63]

Why doesn't your friend's husband tell his ex-wife to stop interefering in their lives? Maybe cause he's still messing around with her? Or maybe he likes 2 women fighting over him.

Tell your "friend" to tell the ex-wife to fluck off. If your friend is a Filipina she probably weighs like 95lbs soaking wet, and the ex-wife probably outweighs her by 40-50 lbs but tell her not to be afraid.

Is that a fat joke?

Of course it is, because everyone knows that ALL American women are fat. The men on the other hand are svelte and charming.

does your friend realize how shallow this makes her seem? she married this man 'for better or worse' and because of such a trivial thing as an interfering ex she's ready to divorce? (Yes, compared to some real difficult "hardships" like financial ruin or illness, a meddling ex-spouse is trivial). IMO, she needs to re-evaluate her priorities and do her utmost to uphold the commitment she made when she said 'I do'.

Initially that is how I interpreted it as well. But as JG said, we don't know until we have dealt with it ourselves. I do agree that the husband needs to be a man and put a stop to it.

[loveamerica 0]

your friend needs to talk to her husband and her husband has to have the balls to tell his witch wife to fudge off and leave him alone. Ex's tend to ruin relationships. Mine got ruined because sadly, my husband chose not to end all ties with his ex-gf even if they have no reason to be communicating with each other anymore.

If she will divorce him, she can do that but she has to have a job and enough savings to self petition herself.

What the ex wife does? she always use their kids and my friend doesnt want to compete with kids.

so what she can do now? its not good to be quite at all times!

thanks

why did she marry guy with kids then? woman should know, there is no competing with kids. they come first. they are blood. if your friend really feel this way, she should divorce. better for eveyone

[loveamerica 0]

My friend was asking if possible to divorce her husband because of his ex wife (USC) until now the ex wife has nothing to do but to give bS to my friend and to her husband. Because the ex wife wants her to live miserable here in US like calling her a ####### etc..Asking her husband lot of stuff to do and the ex wife never stop messaging her husband almost everyday eventhough not related with the kids.

How does the divorce works? I mean do you have to have to text your ex knowing he is already married to another one??

obviously the ex wife wants to ruin their marriage by giving them a difficult situation end up arguing and fighting. my friend is trying to understand every circumstances but she's fed up!

she has 2 year GC.

any replies much appreciated.

CHeers!

It always possible to divorce and stay. Sounds like your friend married him "with good faith" they divorce she can remove conditions as soon as the divorce is final and get her 10 year GC if she want to stay in the US.

For options regarding divorce she should consult a divorce/family law attorney. Free consultation.

OR she can file a divorce. go to the county clerk and pick up a divorce packet. The papers are like $35-$50, once she file divorce do not wait for 2 years to file her removal. File her removal of conditions once she have her divorce paperwork. Save everything she can that shows she married in good faith and submit it with her removal.

This kind of situation for your friend is worst. ex wife will never get better. kids will always be in picture. How long she been married? If she really this unhappy, she should move on to better pasture. meet a guy and NO kids.

[walls1010 3]

My friend was asking if possible to divorce her husband because of his ex wife (USC) until now the ex wife has nothing to do but to give bS to my friend and to her husband. Because the ex wife wants her to live miserable here in US like calling her a ####### etc..Asking her husband lot of stuff to do and the ex wife never stop messaging her husband almost everyday eventhough not related with the kids.

How does the divorce works? I mean do you have to have to text your ex knowing he is already married to another one??

obviously the ex wife wants to ruin their marriage by giving them a difficult situation end up arguing and fighting. my friend is trying to understand every circumstances but she's fed up!

she has 2 year GC.

any replies much appreciated.

CHeers!

why divorce her husband if his ex was the one causing all the problems? tell your friend to record and keep all the text messages from the ex and sue her. if your friend really love her husband then she should stand with him and resolve together the problem.

do you think my friend can sue ex wife? what grounds? ruining marriage? can file for restraining order?

confused! huhuwawa

what grounds? calling her a ####### etc..., is enough to sue her for harrasment.

[loveamerica 0]

My friend was asking if possible to divorce her husband because of his ex wife (USC) until now the ex wife has nothing to do but to give bS to my friend and to her husband. Because the ex wife wants her to live miserable here in US like calling her a ####### etc..Asking her husband lot of stuff to do and the ex wife never stop messaging her husband almost everyday eventhough not related with the kids.

How does the divorce works? I mean do you have to have to text your ex knowing he is already married to another one??

obviously the ex wife wants to ruin their marriage by giving them a difficult situation end up arguing and fighting. my friend is trying to understand every circumstances but she's fed up!

she has 2 year GC.

any replies much appreciated.

CHeers!

why divorce her husband if his ex was the one causing all the problems? tell your friend to record and keep all the text messages from the ex and sue her. if your friend really love her husband then she should stand with him and resolve together the problem.

do you think my friend can sue ex wife? what grounds? ruining marriage? can file for restraining order?

confused! huhuwawa

what grounds? calling her a ####### etc..., is enough to sue her for harrasment.

sue someone for name calling. too funny. not possible. her poor friend is stuck. people would look her crazy trying to sue cuz ex wife called her #######. and why is ex wife call her #######? tell your friend she'd be better divorced out of this situation. feel terrible for her!

Regards

[walls1010 3]

My friend was asking if possible to divorce her husband because of his ex wife (USC) until now the ex wife has nothing to do but to give bS to my friend and to her husband. Because the ex wife wants her to live miserable here in US like calling her a ####### etc..Asking her husband lot of stuff to do and the ex wife never stop messaging her husband almost everyday eventhough not related with the kids.

How does the divorce works? I mean do you have to have to text your ex knowing he is already married to another one??

obviously the ex wife wants to ruin their marriage by giving them a difficult situation end up arguing and fighting. my friend is trying to understand every circumstances but she's fed up!

she has 2 year GC.

any replies much appreciated.

CHeers!

why divorce her husband if his ex was the one causing all the problems? tell your friend to record and keep all the text messages from the ex and sue her. if your friend really love her husband then she should stand with him and resolve together the problem.

do you think my friend can sue ex wife? what grounds? ruining marriage? can file for restraining order?

confused! huhuwawa

what grounds? calling her a ####### etc..., is enough to sue her for harrasment.

sue someone for name calling. too funny. not possible. her poor friend is stuck. people would look her crazy trying to sue cuz ex wife called her #######. and why is ex wife call her #######? tell your friend she'd be better divorced out of this situation. feel terrible for her!

Regards

Watch Judge Judy, Judge Brown and other court people on tv and you will learn to get a big bucks for harrasment, prescribe to your doctor for stress for more proof that she was stress because of the ex harrasment.

I know the easy way out is to divorce him, since you got your 2 yrs gc! Run like hell bcoz' you had already what you want...GC! But if she really love her husband then they can work together to resolve the problem, right? Know some women who had the same situation like hers, but they don't let the ex bully them.

[JANETandLYLE 11]

I can understand the issues with the children being involved with a previous marriage. The man needs to set some boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not. In regards to the children, I am sure he needs to be able to be on talking terms with his ex wife, but only in times of issues with the children. If his ex is calling him and hoping to get back together using the children as pawns, then this is wrong. If he is allowing this to continue then this is where he needs to tell his ex his boundaries. He needs to explain to his ex, "yes, these are our children, but as far as anything else happening here, I am happily remarried". If he is approving her calling him, and talking negative of his current wife, then I believe maybe he is still interested in his ex wife. If he is still interested in his ex wife, then I'd say its time for your friend to file the divorce papers. I'd say the man wasn't ready to move ahead to the next marriage. Your friend needs to talk to her husband and demand he sets some boundaries. Setting boundaries should not affect the situation with the children. The boundaries are to only let the ex know that there is nothing left between them as far as a relationship. Their contact is for the sake of the children, and that he is happily married now and wishes not to have her involved in this marriage. If he won't do that, then I fear this will end in divorce.

[bhajishah 4]

Both them got to stand togehter and kick her AZZ, or she needs to stand alone and kick both AZZez