Where is the depressed forum?

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Your welcome! Never diss Montreal!! Mind you, I nearly got hit by several cars when I was there...but that's another story. I don't want to expedite until I'm 20 years old mainly because...I'm scared 5h*tless. I've known my husband since I was 14, we've been dating since I was 17, married at 19...we have such a history, and evidence and what not. But I've yet to hear any success stories from people around my age. I've only heard success stories from people my age that adjusted status. I'm sure they'll ask me why we got married so early too...I have all the answers, but it's still scary.

I'll stop rantingg!! Thanks for listening!

OH my gosh, BErn... Iknow, I love Montreal -- I lived there for 12 years, its' my fave city in Canada but you're right it's the CONSULATE within Montreal that I am hating at the mo...

Thanks for slapping me into shape..

Expedite, honey! If you can, you should do it, okay?

Good luck...

Bern my dear, if we dont rant and rave we will go crazy!!!!!!!!! Rant on sister!!!! Hugs ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

[Bern. 3]

...I don't want to expedite until I'm 20 years old

Bern, you are wise beyond your years.

Haha, thank you very much. I would hope so, especially since I made the decision to marry myself away at 19. A week after I turned 19, no doubt.

[Bern. 3]

Bern my dear, if we dont rant and rave we will go crazy!!!!!!!!! Rant on sister!!!! Hugs ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

This is so true. I barely rant anymore.. And thank you so much Beth <3 ((HUGS)) I'm glad to see someone of importance and power get involved with your case. I pray for you and wish you nothing but success. I'm going to be moving to El Paso, so I might come visit you in Houston!!

[david'sgirl 134]

I've been having a tough time lately. I am sure you call all, if not most, relate to it as it is around the CR1 process and being apart from the person you have just recently married.

My hubby and I were lucky to spend 3 months together when married, then 5 more months here in Australia before he had to go back to the USA and now we have been apart since July. Our one year anniversary is in November.

I'm half way through NVC, which some may think is wonderful... but this whole process is totally depressing me and I feel like a different person.

My husband notices a lot and he tries to be good about it via phone and email.. but it's getting harder by the day and I am becoming more and more irritable on the phone or via email and I just feel awful.

When I was with him in America, it was wonderful, and now, back here, on my own, its not. When he was in Australia with me, we both knew it would be hard as my family was pretty upset I went and eloped.. and we knew we had to also tell them we wanted to live in the USA eventually... well it was a trial really.. Hubby may have stayed in Australia, but once we did a bit of living in both countries, we decided the USA was the place for us to start our marriage.

So anyway, my point is, does anyone have ideas on how to overcome this? Its really seriously wrecking my day to day life, my work, my health, my relationship and just everything. I am so depressed and I worry about things which havent even happened yet, I also worry that my husband is sick of my whinging, and that when I get there if he decides to leave me, then what will I do?

I worry because I have always had seperation anxiety from a young age, and even my ####### father who left my mother when I was 13 months old claims that my marriage "wont last" and I am "abandoning my family" - well what did he do?!?!

Anyway I am ranting now.. but I just feel like some days I cant deal with it, and lately, its been every day... and I want to be back where things were good, back in the USA... but will it be good when I get there? Theres nothing telling me it wont, but I am still so very frightened and scared and I just cant cope...

You said a lot of how I am feeling as well. It gets harder each day rather than easier. My husband is having an easier time of it. He just keeps saying how it is gonna be worth it in the end and what a great life we will have but that doesnt help me not miss him like crazy now. We wed in July and I had to go home 4 days later. When we originally booked the trip it was just to be one of my visits not a wedding but we decided to get married that week and I could not stay. We both work full time so we have never had more than a week and a half together. His employer cut back. They didnt do a lay off but they changed everyone's shifts and cut thier pay drastically and consequently we will now be spending our first Christmas as husband and wife and my birthdy and new years apart. I feel completely devastated. I had already planned so much and shopped etc. I was living for that long visit. He is coming for a few days in November for Thanksgiving but he is bringing his mum and my kids will be here as well. Christmas is my favourite time of year. I was so looking forward to it. I wanted us to be through the visa process by now but because of the wait for a London interview I think we will be lucky if he gets here by spring. He was hesitant to sell house at first believing we had lots of time to wait. Now he is ready to sell and the realtor has been dragging his feet since October. So now we migt get the visa and still be apart while he tries to sell the house and must keep working to pay the mortgage. I have been trying to be strong and I've been trying to remain positive but lately I feel so completly overwhelmed. No one understands and people keep saying stupid things to me like when is he coming? or why can't he just sell the house from over here? etc I know he would be here if he could but knowing it dosnt make the nights apart less lonely. Until now we had been seeing each toher about every 2 months whih is more often than lot of couples but still so much less than I need. I miss my best friend. I miss my husband. In a strange way it helps to know that I am not the only woman to feel so out of sorts and to just want this over and our life to begin. I feel like a toddler. I want it nooooowwwww!!! Unfortunately the NVC did not move any quicker when I threatened to hold my breath.

We got a false rfe asking for info I already mailed. Hopefully we will get a case complete and interview date soon.

Have you got interview date yet?

[david'sgirl 134]

i feel like i want to die...........

You have got your case complete. You are nearly here. Please Pm if you want to talk. Take care of yourself

[JustJ 0]

Bern.

My mom was married to my dad when she was just barely 17, and they made it 50 years!

My grandmother married my grandfather when she was 13!

Love knows no age.

[JustJ 0]

. My husband is having an easier time of it. He just keeps saying how it is gonna be worth it in the end and what a great life we will have

Must be related to mine! Thank God for that optimism, though, or I'd crumble.

[Bern. 3]

Bern.

My mom was married to my dad when she was just barely 17, and they made it 50 years!

My grandmother married my grandfather when she was 13!

Love knows no age.

WHOA. Thats crazy! I just hope the US Consulate believes that. I'm very mature though, I work a full time job, I don't drink or smoke, I know what I want to accomplish in my life and who I want to spend it with! (It just took me way earlier than most to find him, haha.)

Sometimes I suck on remembering birthdays though...so if they ask me birthdates then I'm SOL. But ages, I know. :3

But yeah, we've been married 9 months on the 25th! n_n We're not going to be able to spend our anniversary this year together... But I discovered BAH today. I am winning in the game of life!

Thanks again Julie.

PS. I am stocking up on evidence like a crazy person.

Edited November 9, 2009 by Bern.

[Allie and Nigel 2]

OK well, i'm not a CR1 but thought i'd chime in too...my April k1 filer forum's sick of my ranting, they're all done with their process, except us, sometimes they can be so smug you know...whatever...anyways we had our interview in London Nov3rd and he needed a court document from a tire puncturing incident when he was 18, so they denied us and said to mail the document in when we get it and then hopefully we get our visa, I ordered the subject access is what they call it, so hope it will be on there and we will be fine, but reading so much of the posts in this forum really depresses me and gets me worried. Nigel didnt want to get married in case there was really bad stuff immigration wise and we get stuck somehow. I can see the logic, but I wanted to marry him right away..but u know..men...

Sooo, thats my rant of the day, (well i've done lots everyday however lol).

[david'sgirl 134]

. My husband is having an easier time of it. He just keeps saying how it is gonna be worth it in the end and what a great life we will have

Must be related to mine! Thank God for that optimism, though, or I'd crumble.

I know what you mean. He is always looking on the brightside which is good cos I can be a little on the Eyeore under my little rain cloud side. lol

[david'sgirl 134]

OK well, i'm not a CR1 but thought i'd chime in too...my April k1 filer forum's sick of my ranting, they're all done with their process, except us, sometimes they can be so smug you know...whatever...anyways we had our interview in London Nov3rd and he needed a court document from a tire puncturing incident when he was 18, so they denied us and said to mail the document in when we get it and then hopefully we get our visa, I ordered the subject access is what they call it, so hope it will be on there and we will be fine, but reading so much of the posts in this forum really depresses me and gets me worried. Nigel didnt want to get married in case there was really bad stuff immigration wise and we get stuck somehow. I can see the logic, but I wanted to marry him right away..but u know..men...

Sooo, thats my rant of the day, (well i've done lots everyday however lol).

Sorry you guys are having a hard time over something so trivial and from so long ago! Hopefully once you get proper docs from sherrif it will be resolved.

How long did you wait between case complete and finding out when the interview would take place? We are nearly there and my husband has to go for interview in London. I hate not beig able to plan anything. grrrr

[carolynhotstuff 252]

It's been a while sense I went on a rant and I'm really feeling depressed tonight. I also miss my husband. Sometimes when I'm looking at his lips on the computer screen I wish I could just reach out and get a kiss. I need one from him so bad. He has started sending me cards in the mail. They are so loving and so romantic. It takes 2 weeks for them to get here. I never felt alone in this big old house until I come home after we got married. I came back from Pakistan in September but I can't bring myself to unpack my suitcase. Everything is still in there except my make-up and wedding dress.

I live in a very small city. Seems like I would have many friends but I don't. People here are very cold. The only real friend I had here just left her husband and moved to a different city and I'm dealing with that loss. I am sad that she left but I understand why she had to do it and I hope she will find the happiness she deserves.

I am lucky in that I get to chat with my husband twice a day on the computer and see his handsome face on the cam but still I miss having his arms around me. I miss waking up in the mornings and seeing him sleeping next to me. There are days when I think I'll go crazy from missing him so much but I try to be strong because my little boy doesn't need to see his mother breaking down. The thing that keeps me going is that I know I will see my husband again when it is time for his interview. I have to be there. I wish I was rich and could just jump on a plane and go see him now but I'm not rich and I need to save my money for the interview.

Anyway I've had my rant and shared this sadness with my VJ family. I feel a little better.

[Allie and Nigel 2]

OK well, i'm not a CR1 but thought i'd chime in too...my April k1 filer forum's sick of my ranting, they're all done with their process, except us, sometimes they can be so smug you know...whatever...anyways we had our interview in London Nov3rd and he needed a court document from a tire puncturing incident when he was 18, so they denied us and said to mail the document in when we get it and then hopefully we get our visa, I ordered the subject access is what they call it, so hope it will be on there and we will be fine, but reading so much of the posts in this forum really depresses me and gets me worried. Nigel didnt want to get married in case there was really bad stuff immigration wise and we get stuck somehow. I can see the logic, but I wanted to marry him right away..but u know..men...

Sooo, thats my rant of the day, (well i've done lots everyday however lol).

Sorry you guys are having a hard time over something so trivial and from so long ago! Hopefully once you get proper docs from sherrif it will be resolved.

How long did you wait between case complete and finding out when the interview would take place? We are nearly there and my husband has to go for interview in London. I hate not beig able to plan anything. grrrr

London's quick, it took us probably 4-6 weeks to get a interview roughly, they're on the ball those guys interview scheduling wise however lol...#######, yes on other things....we got his standard ACPO police clearance thingie that had a no live trace on it, which meant old things...so they didnt like just that. So we had to get a Subject Access, which someone told me from VJ about it, so I ordered it last month...(thank GOD) so we're waiting to see if his tire puncturing incident and the info is on there.

This whole thing's sh^&t as we all can understand...just want our men here!

[david'sgirl 134]

OK well, i'm not a CR1 but thought i'd chime in too...my April k1 filer forum's sick of my ranting, they're all done with their process, except us, sometimes they can be so smug you know...whatever...anyways we had our interview in London Nov3rd and he needed a court document from a tire puncturing incident when he was 18, so they denied us and said to mail the document in when we get it and then hopefully we get our visa, I ordered the subject access is what they call it, so hope it will be on there and we will be fine, but reading so much of the posts in this forum really depresses me and gets me worried. Nigel didnt want to get married in case there was really bad stuff immigration wise and we get stuck somehow. I can see the logic, but I wanted to marry him right away..but u know..men...

Sooo, thats my rant of the day, (well i've done lots everyday however lol).

Sorry you guys are having a hard time over something so trivial and from so long ago! Hopefully once you get proper docs from sherrif it will be resolved.

How long did you wait between case complete and finding out when the interview would take place? We are nearly there and my husband has to go for interview in London. I hate not beig able to plan anything. grrrr

London's quick, it took us probably 4-6 weeks to get a interview roughly, they're on the ball those guys interview scheduling wise however lol...#######, yes on other things....we got his standard ACPO police clearance thingie that had a no live trace on it, which meant old things...so they didnt like just that. So we had to get a Subject Access, which someone told me from VJ about it, so I ordered it last month...(thank GOD) so we're waiting to see if his tire puncturing incident and the info is on there.

This whole thing's sh^&t as we all can understand...just want our men here!

My husband got one from local police in Scotland that said no live trace and then a more expensive one for all of UK with a photo saying no records.

I'm wondering if we have a chance of getting a Dec or Jan interview if we get a case complete this week. His medical is scheduled so fingers crossed!

[david'sgirl 134]

It's been a while sense I went on a rant and I'm really feeling depressed tonight. I also miss my husband. Sometimes when I'm looking at his lips on the computer screen I wish I could just reach out and get a kiss. I need one from him so bad. He has started sending me cards in the mail. They are so loving and so romantic. It takes 2 weeks for them to get here. I never felt alone in this big old house until I come home after we got married. I came back from Pakistan in September but I can't bring myself to unpack my suitcase. Everything is still in there except my make-up and wedding dress.

I live in a very small city. Seems like I would have many friends but I don't. People here are very cold. The only real friend I had here just left her husband and moved to a different city and I'm dealing with that loss. I am sad that she left but I understand why she had to do it and I hope she will find the happiness she deserves.

I am lucky in that I get to chat with my husband twice a day on the computer and see his handsome face on the cam but still I miss having his arms around me. I miss waking up in the mornings and seeing him sleeping next to me. There are days when I think I'll go crazy from missing him so much but I try to be strong because my little boy doesn't need to see his mother breaking down. The thing that keeps me going is that I know I will see my husband again when it is time for his interview. I have to be there. I wish I was rich and could just jump on a plane and go see him now but I'm not rich and I need to save my money for the interview.

Anyway I've had my rant and shared this sadness with my VJ family. I feel a little better.

I think we all feel that way. As much as I like that we can chat or speak it doesnt replace real contact. My parents did this for like 25 yrs when dad was in the Navy. Imagine way before computers and cell phones. Waiting for the mailman to come? He once got her the letter carrier hummel figurine and it was so precious to her and now I see why. She probably hounded the guy.lol