Where is the depressed forum?

[christeen 966]

Yea, it gets difficult when you see others only waiting like 30 days or 60 days for approvals when you waited 4+ months... Like the Canada folks, their consulate situation is so wacked it is 5 months for an iterview and more!!!

Then for me, it kills me (no offense K1 filers) that people who are Married for years have to wait and process for like 4-6 months and someone who is ENGAGED its usually like 90 days! I guess that i would think that married folks would have a bit more of a priority as many of us have families that we are trying to unite and established lives together on hold... Engaged you are in a transitional stage and need a chance to settle things anyway...

Not that it doesent hurt to be apart from your loved ones, but after you have married and committed your lives to one another through a ceremony with friends and family, you are prevented from living that life together.... Engaged you are starting anew with a promise to start living together....

I know that I am biased as I have been married for several years and getting anxious... But this IS the depressed forum so I am just venting. But at no time did I consider it a competition, more like Vegas, with each day you think, "is this my day" just like Roulette "my number has to come up this spin... comeon 5 red"!!!

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Yea, it gets difficult when you see others only waiting like 30 days or 60 days for approvals when you waited 4+ months... Like the Canada folks, their consulate situation is so wacked it is 5 months for an iterview and more!!!

Then for me, it kills me (no offense K1 filers) that people who are Married for years have to wait and process for like 4-6 months and someone who is ENGAGED its usually like 90 days! I guess that i would think that married folks would have a bit more of a priority as many of us have families that we are trying to unite and established lives together on hold... Engaged you are in a transitional stage and need a chance to settle things anyway...

Not that it doesent hurt to be apart from your loved ones, but after you have married and committed your lives to one another through a ceremony with friends and family, you are prevented from living that life together.... Engaged you are starting anew with a promise to start living together....

I know that I am biased as I have been married for several years and getting anxious... But this IS the depressed forum so I am just venting. But at no time did I consider it a competition, more like Vegas, with each day you think, "is this my day" just like Roulette "my number has to come up this spin... comeon 5 red"!!!

Yes Christeen your so right on the subject of why K1 takes less time for approvals VS. the married visas. Many threads of why this is. Some say less paperwork to go thru, I say horse hockey, still the proof of being together, back ground checks, and etc.

What is truly depressing is the waiting, no matter which step your in on this process.

For me now is waiting for the interview day, could not sleep last night, got up made coffee, and started with all the new evidence we aquired since USCIS, never ending of waiting. hoping, and wanting to be with our loved one.

On a personal note, I bet on 21 Red. Love ya!!!

[Allie and Nigel 2]

True, I can agree with that one...thats one of the reasons we didnt do the marriage visa cause he'd have to go back to England and well, he didnt want to do that newly married and we'd have not too much evidence of a marriage just quickly done up for paperwork purposes. I knew him for about 14 months before we did the paperwork for the k1. You know, when I first came down here to the states 16 years ago with the first husband I did it on a CR1 while I was with my family in Canada, few years later came back to Canada and did papers for him to come there as well and I know it was a long daunting process and thought the same thing about the marriage priority thing. I've been on both sides. This k1 as mentioned above was way easier and less to show evidence on, understandably, worked out good for us. Its still sh#$ however! lol. Yes, i do feel bad for the Canadians due to the long consulate wait...mine so long ago was in Calgary and it was easy easy. So I spose I have to count my blessings. But we all want our loved ones with us no matter how we do it huh.

[Rings 10]

Some of your stories are heartwrenching. I can't understand anyone that does not have a web cam. I would have died without being able to see Loke daily. For a $20.00 web cam is was one of the best purchases of my life just to see his face.

For all of you who hurt, hold on tight. You will make it through this. Loke is sitting on the couch next to me. We woke up this morning and there is snow outside on the ground. We made coffee and got comfy and held each other and I thought of all my VJ friends and how wonderful it will be for all of you once you are together. I gave him an extra kiss and I took a deep breath in and I remembered holding onto his shirt and now I can hold onto him.

It makes you more thankful to be together knowing you have been apart for so long. Thank you for sharing your stories and your pain and remember that your sadness will become a cup of coffee and a snuggle at some point. Hold onto your hope *hugs*

[Twisted K 2]

i have been on both sides k1 and cr1 too. but for the same person. the wait is agonizing, to say the least. but i can also say it does indeed feel very different when you are actually married, and still waiting to be with that person. i am not depressed any more. spent to many months crying my eyes out with the first denial. now i just know that everything works out in God's timing. this whole process has brought us closer together and you realize that if you can make it through the hells of immigration, then you can conquer anything. good luck everyone, you can do it know that everyday that you wake up is one more day closer to being with the one you gave your heart to

[Gemmie 142]

Then for me, it kills me (no offense K1 filers) that people who are Married for years have to wait and process for like 4-6 months and someone who is ENGAGED its usually like 90 days! I guess that i would think that married folks would have a bit more of a priority as many of us have families that we are trying to unite and established lives together on hold... Engaged you are in a transitional stage and need a chance to settle things anyway...

The K1 is a non-immigrant visa which requires the AOS filing afterwards (4-6 months plus $1010 filing fee). With a spousal visas, you're usually requesting an immigrant visa/green card up front. I can see why most K1's are quicker to process (even though mine took 9 months, so still around the same).

On the other hand, I would hate to be already married and separated. To me, marriage marked the time of our lives when we agreed to be together and called an end to the distance, so I don't think I could handle that. Kudos to those of you doing that, it must take a lot.

Let's not forget though that we all (hopefully) chose to take the K1 or the CR-1 route, we chose to take the short-term benefit (being together quicker) or the long-term benefit (no AOS, green card on entry). I'm sure there are many K1 filers that are also depressed even after entering the US, as they're unable to work, travel, study etc. for many months. Each visa has its struggles.

[christeen 966]

Mine was because we got married in Italy since his family/friends do not travel and mine from the USA would. So we got married over in Italy... Also, we waited for 6 years to file because he was working on a cruise ship as an officer and could not apply for green card as he would have lost his job (marine licence is from Italy, not valid if he is resident of USA without transferring licence)... So I am just super READY to live a normal life together at the same address... We been traveling around for 9 years back and forth!!! I JUST WANT TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE!!!! And this last bit of waiting is KILLING ME!!!!

[AUS2USA 0]

What cruise line was he one? Gotta love Holland-America *cough cough* haha

[meowmeowmeow 1]

it's been 3 months since i've seen my hubby his interview is october 27th, but im well aware of the AP issue factoring into our case. i'm just so depressed and listless. i try to keep active for the most part by doing things, helping others, looking for a job, etc. but sometimes i just fall into these abysses and just mope....no one really understands what i'm going through. some even are insensitive enough to ask me why i didn't find someone here...well, i didn't choose to really be in this situation, and my hubby is the most amazing man for me...i can't think of not having him in my life....just feel lonely and sad, that's all

[kaus&Sanu 0]

I've been having a tough time lately. I am sure you call all, if not most, relate to it as it is around the CR1 process and being apart from the person you have just recently married.

My hubby and I were lucky to spend 3 months together when married, then 5 more months here in Australia before he had to go back to the USA and now we have been apart since July. Our one year anniversary is in November.

I'm half way through NVC, which some may think is wonderful... but this whole process is totally depressing me and I feel like a different person.

My husband notices a lot and he tries to be good about it via phone and email.. but it's getting harder by the day and I am becoming more and more irritable on the phone or via email and I just feel awful.

When I was with him in America, it was wonderful, and now, back here, on my own, its not. When he was in Australia with me, we both knew it would be hard as my family was pretty upset I went and eloped.. and we knew we had to also tell them we wanted to live in the USA eventually... well it was a trial really.. Hubby may have stayed in Australia, but once we did a bit of living in both countries, we decided the USA was the place for us to start our marriage.

So anyway, my point is, does anyone have ideas on how to overcome this? Its really seriously wrecking my day to day life, my work, my health, my relationship and just everything. I am so depressed and I worry about things which havent even happened yet, I also worry that my husband is sick of my whinging, and that when I get there if he decides to leave me, then what will I do?

I worry because I have always had seperation anxiety from a young age, and even my ####### father who left my mother when I was 13 months old claims that my marriage "wont last" and I am "abandoning my family" - well what did he do?!?!

Anyway I am ranting now.. but I just feel like some days I cant deal with it, and lately, its been every day... and I want to be back where things were good, back in the USA... but will it be good when I get there? Theres nothing telling me it wont, but I am still so very frightened and scared and I just cant cope...

Hey,

Your almost done with the process... Just hang in there and stay strong... There will always be people who will put you down and say things wont work, but it's what you put into it is what counts. What I personally do, I ignore those things, people start ####### for no reason.. just ignore that concentrate on you and your hubby.. i know it's easier said than done.. this process does drag and take a lot out of you..

I too married recently.. June 10,2009 and i had to go back home cause i had no more vacation time left at work.. i spent 25 days with my wife and had to leave... It SUCKS but i have to stay strong and get through it.. My 4 y/o daughter asks for her too.. i can only come up stupid excuses so much and get to a point where I just want to say she's not here cuz of the stupid policies procedures... sorry, i got off on a tangent about my self...

but, just hang in there your almost done... when you get re-united with your husband... you'll be back to feeling great again.

My advice, ignore what your father said about it not working out.. concentrate on you, your husband.. I wouldnt even stress about it, just let it go, people will always say shi* you can't always keep everyone satisfied, you gotta look out for what's important for you sometimes...

Good Luck and Take Care

-kausar

[christeen 966]

What cruise line was he one? Gotta love Holland-America *cough cough* haha

My husband was 1st Engineer and Staff Chief Engineer with Carnival.... If I don't take another cruise the rest of my life, I'll be fine!!! I tried working onboard as karaoke host... Made it 1 month!!!!

I saw that you and your wife are crew... What'cha do??

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

What cruise line was he one? Gotta love Holland-America *cough cough* haha

My husband was 1st Engineer and Staff Chief Engineer with Carnival.... If I don't take another cruise the rest of my life, I'll be fine!!! I tried working onboard as karaoke host... Made it 1 month!!!!

I saw that you and your wife are crew... What'cha do??

My dear depressed VJer's,

I had a thought, we may be depressed with our situration of being apart on this journey, but I thought, we are the lucky ones, we have someone, there are so many alone out there with nobody in their lives. Who would trade places with us in a heartbeat, even with all the aggravation with USCIS, waiting at NVC, and waiting for interivew, we are the lucky ones, cause we have our loves, even miles and an ocean away, we are all plannning on seeing our lifes treasure soon.

Good night all. Be happy for what we have, for this is our life.

I love you my Buttercup, see you soon in Paris. XOXO

[christeen 966]

What cruise line was he one? Gotta love Holland-America *cough cough* haha

My husband was 1st Engineer and Staff Chief Engineer with Carnival.... If I don't take another cruise the rest of my life, I'll be fine!!! I tried working onboard as karaoke host... Made it 1 month!!!!

I saw that you and your wife are crew... What'cha do??

My dear depressed VJer's,

I had a thought, we may be depressed with our situration of being apart on this journey, but I thought, we are the lucky ones, we have someone, there are so many alone out there with nobody in their lives. Who would trade places with us in a heartbeat, even with all the aggravation with USCIS, waiting at NVC, and waiting for interivew, we are the lucky ones, cause we have our loves, even miles and an ocean away, we are all plannning on seeing our lifes treasure soon.

Good night all. Be happy for what we have, for this is our life.

I love you my Buttercup, see you soon in Paris. XOXO

Very well Stated!!!! G'nite

[AUS2USA 0]

What cruise line was he one? Gotta love Holland-America *cough cough* haha

My husband was 1st Engineer and Staff Chief Engineer with Carnival.... If I don't take another cruise the rest of my life, I'll be fine!!! I tried working onboard as karaoke host... Made it 1 month!!!!

I saw that you and your wife are crew... What'cha do??

My dear depressed VJer's,

I had a thought, we may be depressed with our situration of being apart on this journey, but I thought, we are the lucky ones, we have someone, there are so many alone out there with nobody in their lives. Who would trade places with us in a heartbeat, even with all the aggravation with USCIS, waiting at NVC, and waiting for interivew, we are the lucky ones, cause we have our loves, even miles and an ocean away, we are all plannning on seeing our lifes treasure soon.

Good night all. Be happy for what we have, for this is our life.

I love you my Buttercup, see you soon in Paris. XOXO

Very well Stated!!!! G'nite

Well said Paris!!

We were on board for only one contract.

She was the lead singer of the sing/dance cast and I was a fitness instructor.

She worked 3 nights a week and got paid very well for 6 hours a week.

I worked 6 days a week from 5am-8pm. With only commission haha. Holland america cruise line passangers = 60yrs+ so very rarely that i got many clients hahaha

Chief engineer, huh? What a Cushy job! Ordering people around and what not haha, nah lots of responsibility... I guess

Sorry, the only memory I have of Chief Engineers on cruise ships is loud singing and lots of amstel lite and coronas hahaha... Oh, and Darts in the OB...

[sachinky 465]

It's his birthday today, and I won't be there with him to celebrate. This sucks. I hate to think of him all alone in Michigan. But I have something planned out. We're both going to get take-out Chinese food, watch Seven Pounds on DVD and I'll cut a cake for him here. And of course, we'll have Skype running while we do all of it together. It's unforgivably cheesy, I know, but it's the best I could come up with. I was hoping to surprise him with a cake but there are no deliveries on Sundays.