Commuting Marriage

[yramrao 0]

I have been married 3.5 years and know my wife for nearly 6 years. We have been in a commuting marriage due to her school and my work. She received a K-3 in 2007 and we filed for an AOS this year per advice of my lawyer. Due to some scheduling issues (death in her family) we missed the Biometrics and had to refile the AOS and now have an interview scheduled for October. I was not terribly concerned about the interview until getting grilled by my lawyer and was wondering if anyone else had gone through the interview process under the circumstances of having a commuting marriage.

Concerning background, we have not been living together but have been together approximately 70 times over the last 6 years including extended family travel to Brazil and her family coming up here. My work has lent itself to I traveling to Rio due to outsourcing as well, so probably been physically together about 2 years. We have some joint related items such as bank accounts, taxes, health insurance, life insurance but our properties are in each of our names separately and she does not have a US drivers license.

My lawyer is pushing for me not to do the interview and reschedule as since we have not been living together we do not fit in the USCIS profile of what and adjustable marriage should be combined with the fact that my wife's school is not done till December (finally). I am concerned that if I go down this path, the whole thing will blow up and we will have go throught this ####### all over again. Already had to file an AOS a second time since the USCIS lost our notice to move the biometrics due to a death in the family. I am so tired of this process my preference would be to go through the interview regardless of the circumstances, as I simply do not have a lot of faith that we will win on a rescheduling play which seems even more tenuous.

Any advice and feedback would be helpful...Thanks

[Darnell 8,479]

IMO, it's the big picture about co-mingling.. Here's some thoughts, albeit malformed...

If both domiciles are IN THE USA - you can have the leases redone to be in BOTH names, then claim DUAL DOMICILES, going back to the original lease signing date.

I have to assume something is 'single' on the utility bills for these two places, as well, so have those redone with both names.

Does she have a state ID card? If not, get one.

If she's going to school outside of the USA, I am stumped on what to tell ya.

[christeen 966]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Edited October 3, 2009 by christeen

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

[thepizzadude 26]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

My thoughts exactly but I was gonna just keep my mouth shut.

[trillium13 84]

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

My thoughts exactly but I was gonna just keep my mouth shut.

Gary doesn't usually hold back too much.

I do wonder sometimes why people go through the AOS process if they aren't living in the US, or don't even want to.

[Mimino 2]

The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits.

you meant to say the sole purpose. you could have stayed with your wife in ukraine, right? but she did chose to come here and start a new life with you and go through the whole immigration process.

Edited October 3, 2009 by Mimino

[yramrao 0]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

In my case, I was working abroad as we outsource to Brazil and spent signfiicant time there prior and post marriage. With her school done we are adjusting to have her here permanently. We have some of our stuff joint, like bank account, taxes. health insurance, life etc, some of the bills for my home but not everything and not sure how nit picky they will be. This combined with the fact that our entire relationship has been in portuguese as her english limited (classes but still learning) also resulted in us making a request for an interpreter for the interview process.

My lawyer seems pretty adamant that since we have lived more time together abroad than here in the states the examiner will push back and we should punt on the appointment...seems baffling as I think we have a decent case. My lawyers perspective is that the USCIS is very biased around non-traditional marriages (commutting marriages) and not very respectful of the circumstances that result in these types of relationships occuring.

[Corinthians 7]

I think it is a coin toss. Comingling of things that involve money will be good evidence. Nobody worries about utilities a lot. Both names on leases is good too, but if you owned the property before the marriage, what do you do...

I think the big hurdle is that she is still living in Brasil. Either way though, you need to go with your gut and build a strong case for the interview (if you go).

[christeen 966]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

EXCUSE ME (pointedly at pizzadude) but, throughout our marriage my jusband was "technically" a resident of Italy, just as your SO was a resident of his/her own country... Not too many of us have the luxury of living in the USA with our FOREIGN spouses before marriage).... He happend to live on a ship, so we never changed his residency nor applied for a green card until now... He has accepted a job here in the US and will move here once we get approved for the IR1 visa... We have been married for over 6 years, I stayed with him onboard the ship and in Italy, I was merely pointing out that there are others here with "unique" marriage situations....

As far as a requirement of living together or what others may consider a "normal" marriage, I believe that is what the OP was concerned about since they had never domiciled together as a married couple. However, it seems that they HAVE however stayed together significant time and plan to live together. I was merely pointing out that a couple does not need to meet the society's expectations of a normal marriage, just the USCIS's definition of a "bonified" marriage. Meaning that as long as they can prove that they are a legitimate married couple and one of them has domicile or they have the intention to live here in the USA, then they are free to pursue the GC....

I kinda dont understand the comments regarding people living together before they are married and that their SO's have been residents of other countries... Because if they were residents of the USA, why would they need a GC?? DUH, of course they are residents of their home countries???

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

EXCUSE ME (pointedly at pizzadude) but, throughout our marriage my jusband was "technically" a resident of Italy, just as your SO was a resident of his/her own country... Not too many of us have the luxury of living in the USA with our FOREIGN spouses before marriage).... He happend to live on a ship, so we never changed his residency nor applied for a green card until now... He has accepted a job here in the US and will move here once we get approved for the IR1 visa... We have been married for over 6 years, I stayed with him onboard the ship and in Italy, I was merely pointing out that there are others here with "unique" marriage situations....

As far as a requirement of living together or what others may consider a "normal" marriage, I believe that is what the OP was concerned about since they had never domiciled together as a married couple. However, it seems that they HAVE however stayed together significant time and plan to live together. I was merely pointing out that a couple does not need to meet the society's expectations of a normal marriage, just the USCIS's definition of a "bonified" marriage. Meaning that as long as they can prove that they are a legitimate married couple and one of them has domicile or they have the intention to live here in the USA, then they are free to pursue the GC....

I kinda dont understand the comments regarding people living together before they are married and that their SO's have been residents of other countries... Because if they were residents of the USA, why would they need a GC?? DUH, of course they are residents of their home countries???

The interiew in a foreign country for a CR-1 is entirely different than what the OP refers to, an adjustment of status after a fiancee or spouse has arrived on a K-1 or K-3 visa. Of course for a CR-1 the spouse is in a foreign country (or a K-3 for that matter but the CR-1 does not require adjustemnt after arrival)

And YES the USCIS will pass judgement as to whether they believe it is a bona fide marriage not primarily for immigration benefits. You are free to live your life as you choose, but the farther you stray from the "normal" the more difficult it is to prove.

[christeen 966]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

EXCUSE ME (pointedly at pizzadude) but, throughout our marriage my jusband was "technically" a resident of Italy, just as your SO was a resident of his/her own country... Not too many of us have the luxury of living in the USA with our FOREIGN spouses before marriage).... He happend to live on a ship, so we never changed his residency nor applied for a green card until now... He has accepted a job here in the US and will move here once we get approved for the IR1 visa... We have been married for over 6 years, I stayed with him onboard the ship and in Italy, I was merely pointing out that there are others here with "unique" marriage situations....

As far as a requirement of living together or what others may consider a "normal" marriage, I believe that is what the OP was concerned about since they had never domiciled together as a married couple. However, it seems that they HAVE however stayed together significant time and plan to live together. I was merely pointing out that a couple does not need to meet the society's expectations of a normal marriage, just the USCIS's definition of a "bonified" marriage. Meaning that as long as they can prove that they are a legitimate married couple and one of them has domicile or they have the intention to live here in the USA, then they are free to pursue the GC....

I kinda dont understand the comments regarding people living together before they are married and that their SO's have been residents of other countries... Because if they were residents of the USA, why would they need a GC?? DUH, of course they are residents of their home countries???

The interiew in a foreign country for a CR-1 is entirely different than what the OP refers to, an adjustment of status after a fiancee or spouse has arrived on a K-1 or K-3 visa. Of course for a CR-1 the spouse is in a foreign country (or a K-3 for that matter but the CR-1 does not require adjustemnt after arrival)

And YES the USCIS will pass judgement as to whether they believe it is a bona fide marriage not primarily for immigration benefits. You are free to live your life as you choose, but the farther you stray from the "normal" the more difficult it is to prove.

"Normal" is entirely relative depending on where you are from and your personal decisions... and as long as you can provide proof of your ongoing relationship relationship, provide evidence and knowledge of your spouse/marriage and domicile (or intent to domicile together) then he/she should be fine. In one way or another each and every one of us are "straying from the norm" in the mere fact that we have fell in love and married someone outside of what others consider "norm"

To OP... Just get your information in order and as much evidence as you can get together... Make sure that you have a clear demonstration of co-mingling of assets and your lives together. I just do not agree with lawyers who clearly discourage clients in pursuit of their dreams to live together as man and wife, especially when they have the proof to back up their non-traditional marriage. To OP, I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision that you make!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well that seems like silly advice from your Lawyer to me... My husband and I have been married for over 6 years and he worked on a ship and we have NEVER technically lived together!!! We have a credit card, bank accounts, insurance policies etc... together. But being he was never in the US more than 6 weeks, (and for tax reasons) we never filed for his GC... (I do go with him on the ship and in Italy and he visits here on his breaks) But techincally his residence is in Italy mine in Florida...

If you have been physically together (not talkin sexual, just physically in the same room) and can prove that (plane tickets, passport stamps etc..) and have evidence that you two are a legit couple (photos, with family, some letters or even affadavit from friends and family that you are a couple, and can answer basic questions about each other (the forums here can guide you more on that)... Then it is nobody's judgement as to what a "Normal" marriage is.

Don't let any lawyer discourage you just cause they do not understand long distance relationships... My husband is waiting for his interview now and we have no doubts that he will do just fine even with our "non-traditional" marriage... Just bring your evidence to back you up!!! I am sure you will hear a lot of VJ'rs on this subject! The lawyer here does not know what he is talking about!!!! Press ON!!!

Actually, yes it is the USCIS's judgement as to what is a legitimate marriage. The burden of proof is on the couple. There is no requirement you live together, have a lease together or anything in particular together. The requirement is to prove you have a legitimate marriage and that it is not for the purpose of immigration benefits. There more "unusual" your domestic situation, the more difficult it is for you to meet YOUR burden of proof.

The intending immigrant must maintain his place of living in the US in order to be granted US permanent residency. If your husband is "technically" a resident of Italy, he will not get a green card, what would he need one for? But you go ahead and tell them that at your interview. Good luck.

EXCUSE ME (pointedly at pizzadude) but, throughout our marriage my jusband was "technically" a resident of Italy, just as your SO was a resident of his/her own country... Not too many of us have the luxury of living in the USA with our FOREIGN spouses before marriage).... He happend to live on a ship, so we never changed his residency nor applied for a green card until now... He has accepted a job here in the US and will move here once we get approved for the IR1 visa... We have been married for over 6 years, I stayed with him onboard the ship and in Italy, I was merely pointing out that there are others here with "unique" marriage situations....

As far as a requirement of living together or what others may consider a "normal" marriage, I believe that is what the OP was concerned about since they had never domiciled together as a married couple. However, it seems that they HAVE however stayed together significant time and plan to live together. I was merely pointing out that a couple does not need to meet the society's expectations of a normal marriage, just the USCIS's definition of a "bonified" marriage. Meaning that as long as they can prove that they are a legitimate married couple and one of them has domicile or they have the intention to live here in the USA, then they are free to pursue the GC....

I kinda dont understand the comments regarding people living together before they are married and that their SO's have been residents of other countries... Because if they were residents of the USA, why would they need a GC?? DUH, of course they are residents of their home countries???

The interiew in a foreign country for a CR-1 is entirely different than what the OP refers to, an adjustment of status after a fiancee or spouse has arrived on a K-1 or K-3 visa. Of course for a CR-1 the spouse is in a foreign country (or a K-3 for that matter but the CR-1 does not require adjustemnt after arrival)

And YES the USCIS will pass judgement as to whether they believe it is a bona fide marriage not primarily for immigration benefits. You are free to live your life as you choose, but the farther you stray from the "normal" the more difficult it is to prove.

"Normal" is entirely relative depending on where you are from and your personal decisions... and as long as you can provide proof of your ongoing relationship relationship, provide evidence and knowledge of your spouse/marriage and domicile (or intent to domicile together) then he/she should be fine. In one way or another each and every one of us are "straying from the norm" in the mere fact that we have fell in love and married someone outside of what others consider "norm"

To OP... Just get your information in order and as much evidence as you can get together... Make sure that you have a clear demonstration of co-mingling of assets and your lives together. I just do not agree with lawyers who clearly discourage clients in pursuit of their dreams to live together as man and wife, especially when they have the proof to back up their non-traditional marriage. To OP, I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision that you make!!!

I don't agree with sharing the planet's supply of oxygen with lawyers! And yes, all you can do is document as best as possible, and yes, it is not normal to marry someone from overseas. As I have said, there is no particular requirements of anything, except to prove the relationship is bona fide and not primarily for immigration benefits. I have no quarrle with you Christine, it is easier to provide what they need for a K-1 or K-3 AOS when you live together.