abusive spouse

[ashleyblack 0]

[size=5]Hello all Guys!

I am a new member, And I would like to voice out about my spoused that have been abused me..

Ok , here is I'm arrived here in USA Jan this year and married march and we have prenuptial aggrement I signed it cuz I am not interested on his assets or property he has.. ..Since I came here my husband made me a slave,I just ignore him coz I dont wanna fight or argue with him .. He is a porn addict and also he talks girls in virtual world.after we get married I told him to stop the virtual sexchat..But he never listen to me .every night or even 2-4am in the morning he was still playing.On what he seen in the porn and in his sex chat he uses it by me ..He forced me to be sex with him...I was hurt that when he dont sleep beside me and he was playing sexchat to other girls..

He dont abused me physically but he abusive me mentally,verbally,sexually..

Now I left home ..I cant take this no more...I tried so hard not to break our marriage ..

He never do my papers work AOS cuz everytime I asked him to process my papers he only answered that I dont need the AOS and stuff cuz I am married to him..is that accurate answered?I had an Millitary Id ,but he took it back...He treatened me to send home to my country .After I left home he filed divorced immediately..he told me that if I am not going home or so its gonna be worse trouble.

My friend told me that he went back there(myfriends house )and he called immigration told that I dont live him anymore and im out of status it means his asking for deportation..

I am leaving with my relatives now so he cant harass me in my friend house ...He always come there and asked me to sign the divorced papers so he 's going to send me home..

My question is what should I do?what first Im gonna do ?pls help I am frustrated this misery happend to me ..[/size]

Edited September 30, 2009 by ashleyblack

[john_and_marlene 162]

Since you did not file AOS, you now have no ability to adjust status. 180 days after the expiration of your I-94 you will trigger a 3 year ban. If you remain for 1 year after your i-94 expires you will trigger a 10 year ban.

[Cuchita 1]

If I was you before I leave the country I will report him to authorities, he might even be a pedofile!.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

You CAN file for AOS on your own, as long as you can prove:

1. You are married to the petitioner.

2. You entered the marriage in good faith.

3. You have been abused.

Some people think VAWA is only for removing conditions on a conditional green card, but it can also be used to adjust status, provided you are married to a USC (or LPR, in some cases). You probably shouldn't tackle this on your own. No offense, but you'll need a strong grasp of the English language in order to understand everything you have to do, and your English is a little weak. You probably should hire an immigration attorney.

From what you describe, you may have trouble with some of the evidence. It's difficult to collect evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith after you've already left the home. The kind of evidence they usually ask for are things that prove you have co-mingled your finances, and are living as a married couple. This means things like an apartment lease in both names, bills in both names, credit cards in both names, etc. If you weren't married very long then you won't be expected to have too much of this. Getting sworn notarized statements from people who knew both of you, and can attest that you were living as a married couple, would help a lot.

Also, you may have trouble with the evidence of abuse. Claiming he abused you mentally, verbally, and sexually is not enough. You have to prove it. Did you ever call the police, or seek help from a social services organization? Did you ever see a doctor or psychiatrist/psychologist? Did anybody else ever witness the abuse, and would they sign a statement about it?

Why did you have a military ID card? Is your husband in the military? If so, he's going to be in deep sh*t when his CO finds out he's been accused of spousal abuse.

[nui 0]

OMG! I don't know what to say.

That is horrible!!

I would seek for a woman's help foundation (or something like that) report what happened and even though you can not do anything with your status here in US but if I were you, before I leave I will definitely do something about it. He's a devil! don't let him just get away

[ashleyblack 0]

You CAN file for AOS on your own, as long as you can prove:

1. You are married to the petitioner.

2. You entered the marriage in good faith.

3. You have been abused.

Some people think VAWA is only for removing conditions on a conditional green card, but it can also be used to adjust status, provided you are married to a USC (or LPR, in some cases). You probably shouldn't tackle this on your own. No offense, but you'll need a strong grasp of the English language in order to understand everything you have to do, and your English is a little weak. You probably should hire an immigration attorney.

From what you describe, you may have trouble with some of the evidence. It's difficult to collect evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith after you've already left the home. The kind of evidence they usually ask for are things that prove you have co-mingled your finances, and are living as a married couple. This means things like an apartment lease in both names, bills in both names, credit cards in both names, etc. If you weren't married very long then you won't be expected to have too much of this. Getting sworn notarized statements from people who knew both of you, and can attest that you were living as a married couple, would help a lot.

Also, you may have trouble with the evidence of abuse. Claiming he abused you mentally, verbally, and sexually is not enough. You have to prove it. Did you ever call the police, or seek help from a social services organization? Did you ever see a doctor or psychiatrist/psychologist? Did anybody else ever witness the abuse, and would they sign a statement about it?

Why did you have a military ID card? Is your husband in the military? If so, he's going to be in deep sh*t when his CO finds out he's been accused of spousal abuse.

Yes !He is a Army Retired,not active anymore..

I dont call police coz I dont have phone.He always have the phone ...

But my relatives in my country home will testament that I was been forced

I sent our wedding vedio but they saw the sex vedio it was embarrass that my family watching the wedding vedio instead...

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

You CAN file for AOS on your own, as long as you can prove:

1. You are married to the petitioner.

2. You entered the marriage in good faith.

3. You have been abused.

Some people think VAWA is only for removing conditions on a conditional green card, but it can also be used to adjust status, provided you are married to a USC (or LPR, in some cases). You probably shouldn't tackle this on your own. No offense, but you'll need a strong grasp of the English language in order to understand everything you have to do, and your English is a little weak. You probably should hire an immigration attorney.

From what you describe, you may have trouble with some of the evidence. It's difficult to collect evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith after you've already left the home. The kind of evidence they usually ask for are things that prove you have co-mingled your finances, and are living as a married couple. This means things like an apartment lease in both names, bills in both names, credit cards in both names, etc. If you weren't married very long then you won't be expected to have too much of this. Getting sworn notarized statements from people who knew both of you, and can attest that you were living as a married couple, would help a lot.

Also, you may have trouble with the evidence of abuse. Claiming he abused you mentally, verbally, and sexually is not enough. You have to prove it. Did you ever call the police, or seek help from a social services organization? Did you ever see a doctor or psychiatrist/psychologist? Did anybody else ever witness the abuse, and would they sign a statement about it?

Why did you have a military ID card? Is your husband in the military? If so, he's going to be in deep sh*t when his CO finds out he's been accused of spousal abuse.

Yes !He is a Army Retired,not active anymore..

I dont call police coz I dont have phone.He always have the phone ...

But my relatives in my country home will testament that I was been forced

I sent our wedding vedio but they saw the sex vedio it was embarrass that my family watching the wedding vedio instead...

If he is retired then there is nothing the Army is going to do to him. The Army can take disciplinary action against active duty Army personnel. In some cases, they can take disciplinary action against someone on inactive reserve (usually, someone who was discharged less than two years ago). However, they can't do anything against someone who is retired. He is beyond their reach now.

Testimony from your family in your home country is no good. It won't work for evidence of good faith marriage, and it won't work for evidence of abuse. They have to witness the events personally. Seeing a "sex tape" doesn't prove anything, unfortunately, no matter how bad it looks on the tape. People routinely "act" when they're being videotaped. A witness viewing the tape has no idea what happened when the camera was turned off.

I'm sorry, but you need sworn affidavits from people living in the United States who have personally witnessed whatever it is they're testifying about. A sworn affidavit about something they saw on a video tape, or a sworn affidavit about something they were told by someone else, including you, is not "eye witness" testimony.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

If I was you before I leave the country I will report him to authorities, he might even be a pedofile!.

that is an unwarranted assumption on your part and i'd not recommend the op follow your advice.

[anitacastillo 0]

OP - sorry your husband turned out to be a different man. Maybe you should return to your country? You are currently "Out of Status".

You CAN file for AOS on your own, as long as you can prove:

1. You are married to the petitioner.

2. You entered the marriage in good faith.

3. You have been abused.

Some people think VAWA is only for removing conditions on a conditional green card, but it can also be used to adjust status, provided you are married to a USC (or LPR, in some cases).

.

Jim- Can you quote your source, please? You have given this advice before and I don't believe it is correct - but maybe you have a very specific USCIS source?

[Darnell 8,478]

This sounds familar- I've read a similar post, almost word for word, either here or at CFL.

Ashley - when did you move out of the home?

When did you come into USA?

When did you marry?

FWIW, there are free legal clinics in your area - I suggest you find one - get a referral from the biggest CHURCH in your area.

[Darnell 8,478]

This sounds familar- I've read a similar post, almost word for word, either here or at CFL.

You married in March - so at least you got married within the 90 day window from POE entry date. That's Good.

Now it's OCTOBER. You really aren't 'out of status' - but without AOS even being filed, you have 'no status' - it's a technicality, but one you can use to your benefit.

FWIW, there are free legal clinics in your area - I suggest you find one - get a referral from the biggest CHURCH in your area.

It may be that you can get (for free ) a mediator - someone who can talk to your husband , so the husband can get the AOS paperwork filed.

If you hit any more walls this month, I strongly suggest that you file complaints with the USCIS.

[ashleyblack 0]

This sounds familar- I've read a similar post, almost word for word, either here or at CFL.

Ashley - when did you move out of the home?

When did you come into USA?

When did you marry?

FWIW, there are free legal clinics in your area - I suggest you find one - get a referral from the biggest CHURCH in your area.

I leaved home last last week and I arrived USA January this year,we got married March ..

I move to another states cuz my relatives want to be safe so they picked me up in my friend..

thank you now i have some idea what im going to do ...

[Darnell 8,478]

Ashley - it IS possible to file your AOS yourself, but you must be able to PROVE UP THE ABUSE.

When you find some people (legal or otherwise ) to help you, have them read through this -

http://www.uscis.gov/err/B9%20-%20Battered...009_02B9204.pdf

It's pertinent to your situation, straight from the Government's pen.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

OP - sorry your husband turned out to be a different man. Maybe you should return to your country? You are currently "Out of Status".

You CAN file for AOS on your own, as long as you can prove:

1. You are married to the petitioner.

2. You entered the marriage in good faith.

3. You have been abused.

Some people think VAWA is only for removing conditions on a conditional green card, but it can also be used to adjust status, provided you are married to a USC (or LPR, in some cases).

.

Jim- Can you quote your source, please? You have given this advice before and I don't believe it is correct - but maybe you have a very specific USCIS source?

There are several places on the USCIS website (and elsewhere) where you can find the information, including the VAWA act itself, but there's a good synopsis here:

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/men...000082ca60aRCRD

[Rings 10]

Ashley - it IS possible to file your AOS yourself, but you must be able to PROVE UP THE ABUSE.

When you find some people (legal or otherwise ) to help you, have them read through this -

http://www.uscis.gov/err/B9%20-%20Battered...009_02B9204.pdf

It's pertinent to your situation, straight from the Government's pen.

Careful of your advice. Filinig abuse is something that requires valid evidence like police reports. You cannot just walk into an AOS appointment and tell them a story because that proves nothing. That is her word against his and means nothing in a court of law. To prove abuse means you actually have to have some paperwork from the law. If he raped her then she should have called the police on him and if she didn't, then her story will hold no validity to the them.

Edited October 2, 2009 by Rings