Visits

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I totally disagree. I do not care if they are overwhelmed or not, if they have 2 minutes or 5 hours to look at the chat logs, it will be their choice what they look at no matter what, I say give them more than they can handle. No offense Jim, but as I said, there is no way I agree with that statement to give them what you think is important or will help, if you have a 2 year or 1 year relationship and you say that you chat all the time you need to prove it, but by taking only 1 day a week or so worth of chat logs looks to me like you were not to worried about talking with your loved one. I do like the input about WackyB, I wish I would have had that when we started our relationship. It would have made it easier to get all the chat logs together.

Either way you choose, as I said before do what your heart says. Jim does make a good point I will give him that the CO does not have tons of time to view everything, but if you have everything there or even if you have half of it there he will look at what he chooses to look at. On Binh's interview they did not even look at the chat logs, but they were there if he would have wanted them. Just remember this is our advice, choose what you want to do from our suggestions or do something that you think of yourself. Just do what you feel is right and then if good comes from it you are happy, and if bad comes from it, you know you did what you thought was right. If you do what we did you might get pink, or white, who knows, if you do what Linda says or John says, same thing it is a roll of the dice, so what ever you do, make sure that is what you want and not what we think you should do. Good luck Jerome and Binh

First, we need to differentiate between "chat logs" and "chat sessions". A "chat log" is simply a list, like a directory, of all of your "chat sessions". A "chat session" is an actual transcript of an entire conversation. I recommended printing the entire chat log, but only selected chat sessions. I did not recommend picking one per week, or any other specific interval. I recommended picking from the "best of the best". If two of them happen to be on consecutive days, no problem. If there are weeks in between a couple of them, again, no problem.

The problem with "he will look at what he chooses to look at" is that you will have no way of knowing what he'll choose to read. He'll flip through and randomly grab a page to read. What if that particular chat session was talking mostly about the visa interview, and what kind of questions are going to be asked? Is that going to sound to the CO like a couple in love, or is it going to sound like a couple just trying to get a visa? I don't know about your conversations with Binh, but the bulk of my conversations with Phuong are not gushing about how much we love each other. There's a bit of that in every conversation, but we spend most of our time talking like two intelligent adults about a wide variety of things. Most of it the CO would probably find pretty boring, but there are specific parts of specific conversations that, if taken out of the context of the entire conversation or even series of conversations, could be badly misinterpreted. There are other conversations that are, frankly, none of their godamn business.

Your SO will have one real shot to make her case, and precious few minutes to do it. I would want to make damn sure that there is a 100% chance he'll see our best evidence, and absolutely 0% chance he'll see anything less than that.

[lindal24 1]

Thanks Scott. I agree with you. I think that makes the most sense for Thu and I. Maybe we should just both relax and enjoy the relationship for now and file after the engagement. I see that you have the dam hoi for you and Thuy planned for November. How long will you be staying in VN? Any plans to return to VN early next year?

<CARRICK>

Are you Vietnamese? Because another thing, and I don't know if the CO will find it important or not, is that the parents have a "talk" regarding you guys' relationship...it's basically the parents' approval to "date" their child...it's different from the dam hoi and I'd say pretty important, and out of respect for elders, for younger couples say in their 20s to have traditionally...

[luckytxn 2,264]

Personally I saved to my puter and printed every chat session and put them in folders by month with the individual session paperclipped. Even the times we chatted about the interview and even our practice interview sessions. Granted most of our conversations were silly and playful and such but I of course had no worries about them thinking us as frauds because we are not.

I am saying to have known each other for two months that it may be prudent for them to show that they are getting to know each other and finding if they are compatible. They are young and seems that after meeting once for a short time and now barely two months knowing each other they are now planning on the 129F to get her here. I am trying to say that maybe the chat sessions should show they are progressing after they have met about them knowing each other well to the time he is planning to visit her in Vietnam and then still wanting to move further and then having a engagement party and then coming back and doing the 129F. If the chat logs are showing right away a desire they are wanting to do the visa so soon after meeting such a short time may be a red flag for visa fraud in the CO eyes.

[WeatherEmperor 21]

No I am not Vietnamese. I was born in Suriname which is a tiny country in South America. I have lived in Florida since 1995. In any case, I do see your point. You know, I frequently ask Thu if her parents approve us being together and she keeps telling me that they like me and they are happy for us. I do believe her, but I will feel much more comfortable once I meet them in person when I go to VN early next year.

<CARRICK>

Thanks Scott. I agree with you. I think that makes the most sense for Thu and I. Maybe we should just both relax and enjoy the relationship for now and file after the engagement. I see that you have the dam hoi for you and Thuy planned for November. How long will you be staying in VN? Any plans to return to VN early next year?

<CARRICK>

Are you Vietnamese? Because another thing, and I don't know if the CO will find it important or not, is that the parents have a "talk" regarding you guys' relationship...it's basically the parents' approval to "date" their child...it's different from the dam hoi and I'd say pretty important, and out of respect for elders, for younger couples say in their 20s to have traditionally...

[ScottThuy 140]

No worries Brother.. He was only asking because if you are from VN you will likely have a better understanding of the customs associated with the engagement and marriage to a VN woman. If you dont go by the customary things that would be done in a normal VN relationship, then the CO could look at that as a red flag. Her family is likely very happy she met you...

[BinhJerome 14]

I totally disagree. I do not care if they are overwhelmed or not, if they have 2 minutes or 5 hours to look at the chat logs, it will be their choice what they look at no matter what, I say give them more than they can handle. No offense Jim, but as I said, there is no way I agree with that statement to give them what you think is important or will help, if you have a 2 year or 1 year relationship and you say that you chat all the time you need to prove it, but by taking only 1 day a week or so worth of chat logs looks to me like you were not to worried about talking with your loved one. I do like the input about WackyB, I wish I would have had that when we started our relationship. It would have made it easier to get all the chat logs together.

Either way you choose, as I said before do what your heart says. Jim does make a good point I will give him that the CO does not have tons of time to view everything, but if you have everything there or even if you have half of it there he will look at what he chooses to look at. On Binh's interview they did not even look at the chat logs, but they were there if he would have wanted them. Just remember this is our advice, choose what you want to do from our suggestions or do something that you think of yourself. Just do what you feel is right and then if good comes from it you are happy, and if bad comes from it, you know you did what you thought was right. If you do what we did you might get pink, or white, who knows, if you do what Linda says or John says, same thing it is a roll of the dice, so what ever you do, make sure that is what you want and not what we think you should do. Good luck Jerome and Binh

First, we need to differentiate between "chat logs" and "chat sessions". A "chat log" is simply a list, like a directory, of all of your "chat sessions". A "chat session" is an actual transcript of an entire conversation. I recommended printing the entire chat log, but only selected chat sessions. I did not recommend picking one per week, or any other specific interval. I recommended picking from the "best of the best". If two of them happen to be on consecutive days, no problem. If there are weeks in between a couple of them, again, no problem.

The problem with "he will look at what he chooses to look at" is that you will have no way of knowing what he'll choose to read. He'll flip through and randomly grab a page to read. What if that particular chat session was talking mostly about the visa interview, and what kind of questions are going to be asked? Is that going to sound to the CO like a couple in love, or is it going to sound like a couple just trying to get a visa? I don't know about your conversations with Binh, but the bulk of my conversations with Phuong are not gushing about how much we love each other. There's a bit of that in every conversation, but we spend most of our time talking like two intelligent adults about a wide variety of things. Most of it the CO would probably find pretty boring, but there are specific parts of specific conversations that, if taken out of the context of the entire conversation or even series of conversations, could be badly misinterpreted. There are other conversations that are, frankly, none of their godamn business.

Your SO will have one real shot to make her case, and precious few minutes to do it. I would want to make damn sure that there is a 100% chance he'll see our best evidence, and absolutely 0% chance he'll see anything less than that.

John, I am not here to argue with you, and you already know everything. You do as you choose, and as I told the OP do what he wants to do and as long as he does what he thinks is correct then he will be happy with the outcome, but I do want to make one point, there is not a CO alive that does not suspect that we do not go over the visa interviews before the interview. And quite frankly I am sure that there are many couples that say things in chat logs that would make a good rated R film or worse, and I am sure the CO expects that as well, maybe not expecting to read it. And you say you want a 100% chance he will see your best evidence, that will not happen, He did not look at 1 single chat log from our case, he saw that we had stacks of papers with us, and knew that we were well prepared to prove our case and that we had plenty of evidence to support that we talked on a daily basis.

Do what is in your heart, and what you think is right, Luckytxn put it all in and he made one trip and got his visa, use his experience, Binh and me put it all in and got a blue, Jim has yet to even get to a interview this time yet, and listen to his advice as well, and the same with Scott he has not made it to the interview yet either, use all our advice and pick what works for you and if you are not satisfied then go with something else, just do what you think is right this way no matter what the outcome is, you will be proud to know that you did not hold anything back and that you gave it 100%.

Good luck as always Jerome and Binh

No I am not Vietnamese. I was born in Suriname which is a tiny country in South America. I have lived in Florida since 1995. In any case, I do see your point. You know, I frequently ask Thu if her parents approve us being together and she keeps telling me that they like me and they are happy for us. I do believe her, but I will feel much more comfortable once I meet them in person when I go to VN early next year.

<CARRICK>

Thanks Scott. I agree with you. I think that makes the most sense for Thu and I. Maybe we should just both relax and enjoy the relationship for now and file after the engagement. I see that you have the dam hoi for you and Thuy planned for November. How long will you be staying in VN? Any plans to return to VN early next year?

<CARRICK>

Are you Vietnamese? Because another thing, and I don't know if the CO will find it important or not, is that the parents have a "talk" regarding you guys' relationship...it's basically the parents' approval to "date" their child...it's different from the dam hoi and I'd say pretty important, and out of respect for elders, for younger couples say in their 20s to have traditionally...

I was the same as you Binh told me her mother and brother were very happy for us, and when I went the first time, it only took about 5 minutes to know for sure I wanted to marry her. I already knew that, but what I mean is her family made me feel so at home and comfortable it was just wonderful.

Jerome

[WeatherEmperor 21]

Jerome,

Thu and I plan to have our engagement ceremony around February next year. In a way, our relationship journey may look similar to yours in a sense that the ceremony will be held before the initial I-129F filing. I noticed also that you and Binh still got the blue slip. I know my next question will be silly, because if you knew the answer, you would have prepared for it before hand but what do you believe is the reason you and Binh got the blue slip? Perhaps something you missed on the forms? Perhaps not enough email, picture, phone record evidence?

[lindal24 1]

Do what is in your heart, and what you think is right, Luckytxn put it all in and he made one trip and got his visa, use his experience, Binh and me put it all in and got a blue, Jim has yet to even get to a interview this time yet, and listen to his advice as well, and the same with Scott he has not made it to the interview yet either, use all our advice and pick what works for you and if you are not satisfied then go with something else, just do what you think is right this way no matter what the outcome is, you will be proud to know that you did not hold anything back and that you gave it 100%.

Good luck as always Jerome and Binh

As we all know, everyone's case is different. I believe the same is true with Luckytxn. Yes, Luckytxn did "put it all in and he made one trip and got his visa" but maybe there are some differences in his case from ours that made the difference in getting pink. Some of the things that come to mind are 1.He shares the same language 2.His family (at least parents) probably went back to see him get married 3.There was nothing in his file that the CO could contest/question 4.The petition wasn't filed immediately after he met her 5.Neither had divorces behind their names .He got an "easy" CO. We never know, but each case is different.

I'm going to put my 2cents in and say if you don't want the blue, allow your relationship to develop. Go through with the traditional ceremonies including the Dam Hoi. Make at least one more visit, or be able to prove that you guys communicated beyond the days you shared together while on holiday.

Goodluck to you guys!

[BinhJerome 14]

Jerome,

Thu and I plan to have our engagement ceremony around February next year. In a way, our relationship journey may look similar to yours in a sense that the ceremony will be held before the initial I-129F filing. I noticed also that you and Binh still got the blue slip. I know my next question will be silly, because if you knew the answer, you would have prepared for it before hand but what do you believe is the reason you and Binh got the blue slip? Perhaps something you missed on the forms? Perhaps not enough email, picture, phone record evidence?

That is the million dollar question for sure. During the interview Binh said she saw a pink visa. Through the questioning it went great, then they asked about my ex wife, not to get into great detail on a public forum about what she did I will just say this. Binh told them she was in prison, and that it was for a very and i mean very serious crime, and his face went from a smile to a not sure look. He got up and went somewhere and came back with a blue, and in the blue it asked for proof where my ex wife lived and what her nationality was. Binh had proof that she was in prison with her, and of the charges, but the CO refused to look at them. They also asked for a time line, which Binh did have, and they asked for proof of her relatives in America, this she did not have. I think the CO did not believe my ex was in prison and that if she was it was not for what Binh said. And I feel this is what the blue was all about. Binh could have lied, but I am glad she told them the truth, this way we know we were 100% honest about every question they asked, and no matter the ending of our journey, we know we did what we felt was the right thing to do every step of the way. It could have been other things that sent up red flags, Yes I had filed for a visa before, and as I said in other posts that was right at 2 years before I filed for this petition and I put in a waiver and was deemed eligible to proceed. We talked more on Yahoo than on the phone, our reasoning is simple, we both already have INTERNET and why then pay for a phone call? hmm 32 cents a minute or 30 dollars a month?? No brainier for me and probably well over half of the other visa petitioners. Taking your time is a great thing, it does help, and it will also help you. I could have found a American woman over here, but I wanted to truly get to know someone without the lust involved first, and when I got to know Binh, I knew I had finally found the right one. We both hope you have found the right one as well. and good luck with all that lies before you.

Jerome and Binh

[Anh map 2,098]

I like your approach and I like your relationship story. Follow through with all the documentation as you go along. Enjoy getting to know Thu. The trip to VN and the engagement cermony will be an awesome experience. By the time the interview happens your story will flow easily and the CO will be able to see the evolution of the relationship.

Glad to have you as a part of the HCMC VJ world.