My husband wants to divorce me but he is the one who is having an affair. What is my chances if I have a CR1 visa?

[rmncm 0]

thank you so much but if I go home i'm afraid I will banned to come back here in the US. And One thing more my family is in canada, before my approval for my visa to US my mom cancelled her petition for me to go there so there wont be any conflict in my US visa application before. Obviosly I chosed him over my family. If only I can stay here in 2 years and get my permanent residence maybe that's the time I can go to my family in canada. Becuse if I go home now it will be very hard & will take years again for me to wait for my approval plus my history in the US is not good by that time. And I really wanted to fight for my right. I didn't do anything against our marriage.

if you feel you cannot save this marriage and he is not willing to work on it, why not just go home to think about it all and if nothing works out at least you'll be home with your family and friends and away from him?

There is no reason to try to salvage this marriage. Your husband is a "player". Ditch him.

You haven't done anything at this point that would result in you being banned from the US. As long as you're still married to your husband, then your conditional green card is still valid. If you are divorced by the time your conditional green card expires, then you can file to remove conditions and get an unconditional green card on your own - you won't need your ex-husbands cooperation. However, once you get the divorce you should file to remove conditions immediately - don't wait for the conditional green card to expire. Understand that the divorce has to be final - you need the divorce decree in order to file on your own.

You do NOT have to remain with your husband. Your legal status is not dependent on your living with him. As long as you're still married, your green card remains valid. USCIS will not take any steps to revoke your status while you are still married, even if you are separated or have a divorce pending. Once the divorce is final then USCIS may take steps to revoke your status, which is why you should file immediately after the divorce.

If you move, be sure to notify USCIS of your new address. I recommend you don't leave the US until your divorce is final and your conditions are lifted, though. If your husband files any report or claim with USCIS while you're gone, it could put your legal status in temporary limbo, and you could have problems getting back into the country.

Minor point, but "fight for your right" is a bad choice of words. Immigration is not a "right" you can fight for. It is a privilege you request from the US government. From what you describe, it doesn't sound like you've done anything that would result in you not deserving this privilege. Collect your evidence of good faith marriage, file for a divorce, and move on with your life.

Maybelle, first and formost you gave up your life for this man and he is screwing you over. NOW is your time to screw him. Get with your friends or family and beg,barrow what money you can and hire a attny for a divorce. He filed the AOS paperwork that basicly promissed to support you for up to 10 years. I say hire a attny and teach him a lesson, enforce the AOS and go for spousal support. This way he would have a hard time bringing his new gf from the Phills. He caused you grief, now its your turn!!! Take him for everything he has, after all your married and it's half yours!

Revenge is ALWAYS bad advice in a divorce. Nobody is immune to retaliation. Seeking revenge only escalates the fight, and often comes back to bite you. My ex-wife's attorney tried this tactic with me, but she didn't know the "dirt" I had on my ex-wife. I told my ex-wife she'd win the fight if she continued, but she'd leave the court in hand cuffs. She fired her attorney, and we had an amicable settlement.

Apparently, you don't fully understand community property laws. The only thing that is "half hers" are assets that were acquired AFTER they became married. Anything he owned separately before the marriage is still his separate property. You don't automatically assume half of someone's assets when you marry them.

I fully understand the community property laws, having been taken to the cleaners by my exwife, I guess I should of clarified. Also what I am stating is not revenge but the fact that she gave up her life for this "boy" and he is responsiable now to support her.

[Sandrila 1]

I would never tolerate such a thing.

I would have been outta there. I feel for you and I hope it works out that you can get rid of him and still remain here.

[anitacastillo 0]

thank you so much but if I go home i'm afraid I will banned to come back here in the US. And One thing more my family is in canada, before my approval for my visa to US my mom cancelled her petition for me to go there so there wont be any conflict in my US visa application before. Obviosly I chosed him over my family. If only I can stay here in 2 years and get my permanent residence maybe that's the time I can go to my family in canada. Becuse if I go home now it will be very hard & will take years again for me to wait for my approval plus my history in the US is not good by that time. And I really wanted to fight for my right. I didn't do anything against our marriage.

if you feel you cannot save this marriage and he is not willing to work on it, why not just go home to think about it all and if nothing works out at least you'll be home with your family and friends and away from him?

There is no reason to try to salvage this marriage. Your husband is a "player". Ditch him.

You haven't done anything at this point that would result in you being banned from the US. As long as you're still married to your husband, then your conditional green card is still valid. If you are divorced by the time your conditional green card expires, then you can file to remove conditions and get an unconditional green card on your own - you won't need your ex-husbands cooperation. However, once you get the divorce you should file to remove conditions immediately - don't wait for the conditional green card to expire. Understand that the divorce has to be final - you need the divorce decree in order to file on your own.

You do NOT have to remain with your husband. Your legal status is not dependent on your living with him. As long as you're still married, your green card remains valid. USCIS will not take any steps to revoke your status while you are still married, even if you are separated or have a divorce pending. Once the divorce is final then USCIS may take steps to revoke your status, which is why you should file immediately after the divorce.

If you move, be sure to notify USCIS of your new address. I recommend you don't leave the US until your divorce is final and your conditions are lifted, though. If your husband files any report or claim with USCIS while you're gone, it could put your legal status in temporary limbo, and you could have problems getting back into the country.

Minor point, but "fight for your right" is a bad choice of words. Immigration is not a "right" you can fight for. It is a privilege you request from the US government. From what you describe, it doesn't sound like you've done anything that would result in you not deserving this privilege. Collect your evidence of good faith marriage, file for a divorce, and move on with your life.

Maybelle, first and formost you gave up your life for this man and he is screwing you over. NOW is your time to screw him. Get with your friends or family and beg,barrow what money you can and hire a attny for a divorce. He filed the AOS paperwork that basicly promissed to support you for up to 10 years. I say hire a attny and teach him a lesson, enforce the AOS and go for spousal support. This way he would have a hard time bringing his new gf from the Phills. He caused you grief, now its your turn!!! Take him for everything he has, after all your married and it's half yours!

Revenge is ALWAYS bad advice in a divorce. Nobody is immune to retaliation. Seeking revenge only escalates the fight, and often comes back to bite you. My ex-wife's attorney tried this tactic with me, but she didn't know the "dirt" I had on my ex-wife. I told my ex-wife she'd win the fight if she continued, but she'd leave the court in hand cuffs. She fired her attorney, and we had an amicable settlement.

Apparently, you don't fully understand community property laws. The only thing that is "half hers" are assets that were acquired AFTER they became married. Anything he owned separately before the marriage is still his separate property. You don't automatically assume half of someone's assets when you marry them.

Good advice - except that last part about community prop - Hawaii is not one of the 9 community prop states.

OP - sorry to hear about your situation. Your husband is an asssss!! I understand there are lots of Philpinos in Hawaii, maybe you can find a community to assist in your transition.

[morocco4ever 63]

No advice here since I don't have experience in this area. But what I can say is that he is a real loser. Don't let him make you feel like a failure, because he is. If this other woman is aware that he is married, and is still seeing him, then she deserves him. You, on the other hand, deserve better.

[luv2uallday 1]

Yeah I am hurting constantly because I still love him despite all these. And it breaks my heart to see him having a communication with that girl. And he is planning again to visit her january next year. he is really torturing me emotionally because he knows that I love him. Thank you anyway for reading my concern. Somehow it eases the pain when you voiced out your problem. Because he wanted to keep this as a secret especially to our parents, he threatened to leave me on my own if i will tell them. he is so childish.

in most cases love is a strength that carries you through most things but in cases like this love is a weakness that followed will lead you blind.

I'm sorry to say you married a piece of trash who is too self centered and too cruel. You will be cursed to hang onto someone who wants so readily get rid of you. Your best bet is to let him go and move on with your life. No matter what the consequences your self respect and your heart are too precious to lose for a cheating fool.

Maybe one day his heart will turn from stone to something that feels but until he changes within. Until he sees what he has done and has found love and life and compassion for himself. Your love is lost on him. There is a saying "if you love someone you must let them go" That is so true. Stop torturing yourself. Give him his wish, and be at piece with God. If this marriage is to be God will mend it. If not, God will take care of you.. Just let it go to him have faith in him and let his will be worked in your life..

I'm so sorry for your pain been there know it. It really sux but you must be strong if you want to see clearly what what lays ahead for you in life.

[kitty23 0]

I am so sorry for what you have to go through! Nobody should be treated that way! He should have known that bringing you over is a huge responsibility.

I would not move from the house before filing for a divorce if I were you. It may give him reasons to say you left willingly and if you have nobody to support your statement it will be your word against his. Also, I would call the cops the minute he would start an argument and threat! That is called abuse and the evidence the police will give you might serve you later.

Don't let him take advantage of you! Ditch him but do it on your own terms. And sure enough I think you should take him to the cleaners too!

Edited September 29, 2009 by kitty23

[Ed+Cindy 1]

I would not move from the house before filing for a divorce if I were you. It may give him reasons to say you left willingly and if you have nobody to support your statement it will be your word against his. Also, I would call the cops the minute he would start an argument and threat! That is called abuse and the evidence the police will give you might serve you later.

Don't let him take advantage of you! Ditch him but do it on your own terms. And sure enough I think you should take him to the cleaners too!

Just move on.

Lots of bitter people are giving you advice to be vindictive. Just move on with your life. You have at least 2 years legal residency in the US. If you want to move to Canada, have your mother re-file for you.

Don't call the cops, don't 'take him to the cleaners'. Its not worth your money or time and it will only frustrate you. You've only been married a few months and you won't get much of a settlement out of the divorce anyway.

(however, if you are being physical abused, that's another story, but it doesn't sound like it).

[Marzy 1]

Don't file a divorced yourself.

Edited September 29, 2009 by S*J

[gennyangel 3]

i live here in honolulu.where do you stay? is your asawa a pinoy too? ilocano? Im not familiar with CR1 however have you filed for AOS? or do you still need to file it? i thought that you came here as an immigrant through CR1? Could you enlighten me?

[-Cinnamon- 0]

God be with you always.

Keep the faith burnin.

xoxo

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Good advice - except that last part about community prop - Hawaii is not one of the 9 community prop states.

Thank you. I stand corrected. Hawaii is an "equitable distribution" state.

If the couple cannot agree on a fair property settlement, then the courts will determine which property is "marital property" and which is "separate property", and then determine an equitable distribution of the "marital property". Property which was separately owned before the marriage is rarely determined to be "marital property". I'm not aware of any state where a spouse has an automatic claim to half of everything their spouse owns, which was the assertion I was responding to. In a marriage of such a short duration, it's not likely she has a valid claim on much of anything.

[maybelle 0]

yes he is a ilocano asss. CR1 visa is a conditional 2 year green card given to someone who is married to a USC with less than 2 years of marriage. Meaning in 2 years time the immigration will time to time observe us for two years if the marriage is entered in goodfaith. I am staying somewhere in Kalihi. Are you ilocana too? thanks!

i live here in honolulu.where do you stay? is your asawa a pinoy too? ilocano? Im not familiar with CR1 however have you filed for AOS? or do you still need to file it? i thought that you came here as an immigrant through CR1? Could you enlighten me?

[macutelit 0]

God bless!!

[gennyangel 3]

yes he is a ilocano asss. CR1 visa is a conditional 2 year green card given to someone who is married to a USC with less than 2 years of marriage. Meaning in 2 years time the immigration will time to time observe us for two years if the marriage is entered in goodfaith. I am staying somewhere in Kalihi. Are you ilocana too? thanks

Alright,thanks for the enlightenment,then you gotta live with the 2 yr conditional greencard to finally able to obtain citizenship in less than two years? if so you live within the 2 years,you dont have to worry too much about immigration since you enter in goodfaith,its just your better half.But i understand the emotional torture. I have a friend here live in kalihi near gullick,he came here via petition of her wife who is also cheating,mind you while six years in marriage,the other girl here in hawaii is having an affair and even had two child with different father. So the guy i know is living with his uncle,separately with his wife who is living with her boyfriend. The problem would be not to you but to your husband in the future...

Sad to say,this is quite thing common in hawaii,specially happening to filipinos,with having family (wife/husband and kids) in the Philippines and having (woman/man) an affair here in Hawaii...

Hey i live in upper kalihi somewhere in Wilson st.near Kam shopping center,its beside likelike highway.....

update me...

[gennyangel 3]

oh by the way im tagalog from Manila married to Haole from California but he moved here in hawaii,so thats the reason why im here...

But i lived in Ilocos Sur,somewhere in Magsingal,so theres ilocano part in me too since i have embraced their culture and tradition.

I knew some ilocano's that are faithful and kind. Sorry if you fall to a wrong guy...

Still,keep the faith my friend...