You moved to the U.S. to be with your SO

[Krikit 1,163]

The statement "I gave up everything for this" is kinda immature to me.

I don't look at it as "giving up", but as change to life.

I don't see moving out of Canada & away from friends and family as "giving it up"....it'll always be there. You just won't see it as often.

To me, giving up means you're done with something.

Will you be moving relatively close to home?

I agree it's hard to find stuff, BUT it is SO much cheaper here!! A bottle of wine is like $6! For a decent bottle too! A bottle of vodka is a steal!!

No kidding! I just bought a 40 of CC and it was $10! Last Christmas a 1.75L bottle of Smirnoff's and Bacardi was $15! I mean, holy cow! It's so cheap to be an alcoholic here!

booze is hard to find here? it is sold everywhere..lol Walmart even sells booze..

One of my best friends from Canada just loves the American Walmarts. She says "Where else can you go to pick up your fishing rods, your camping gear, your groceries, and your booze.... all in one store?!! I love it here!"

Right around the corner from where I live I have a "drive through" beer distributor. I took the hubby through it once and he just looked like a little kid at Christmas. You mean you just tell them what you want, they go get it and put it in the car for you, you pay and leave and there's no line? REALLY? That's so cool! All I could say is, um yeah and I looked at him like he had 3 heads. Then I realized I grew up with places like this and since Ontario has nothing even remotely like this its going to be new and different for him. So now when he gets like that I just smile, chuckle a bit, wink at him and call him a nutbar.

When Molson's had their factory in Barrie (ON) they had a drive-thru. I haven't seen any beer stores around here, though. But I do see the banks have drive-thrus. I find that pretty funny. LOL

[thetreble 19]

I don't argue or state my opinion too much on public forums for this reason. Half the time I can't be bothered to argue with people, other times it's cause people read things totally the wrong way.

I don't consider the FEELING of missing home as immature, but when you verbally express "I'm giving up everything" to say how you feel(especially to your SO)....it's just not a good way to put it.

That's just my opinion. Back to people's stories......

Nope, not yet. I don't think you can pipe in and then decide when the conversation is over.

I have verbally said to my husband a few times that sometimes I FEEL like I have giving everything up to be here because...I gave up my job...I gave up the ability to see family and friends..I gave up the ability to be happy in my native country. Can you explain to me how else I would describe the situation other than "giving up" when that is what you are doing?

There is this assumption going around this topic that move to America to start a new life....I didn't move to the US to start over or start a new life..I moved because I had no other choice if I wanted to be with my significant other. I still WANT my old life, it's just not possible. I really don't think that's my fault either or is it immature.

[JillA 2]

Udella, Bryn Athyn College is like a 2 minute drive from me, I can actually walk there! It's such a beautiful campus, with lots of old mature trees and the church is just lovely.... my friends actually wanted to take their wedding photos on the church grounds, but they charged $500 so they went elsewhere

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Udella, Bryn Athyn College is like a 2 minute drive from me, I can actually walk there! It's such a beautiful campus, with lots of old mature trees and the church is just lovely.... my friends actually wanted to take their wedding photos on the church grounds, but they charged $500 so they went elsewhere

Yah - Bryn Athyn Cathedral is a beautiful church. I've never been there myself (kind of dropped out of church life once i got older) ...always figured I'd get married there All the amrican church people I met while growing up, definitely shaped how I thought of the US. I was always under the impression that American men chewed a lot of gum

[Holliday 4]

Random thoughts...

I LOVE the price of alcohol here! I can get a 5 litre box of my favourite wine for $15.99!! (Yes, a box. I'm a classy gal. ) The same stuff was around $14 for 1 1/2 litres back home. My Mom's pretty excited about that for when she comes to visit eventually, because they recently stopped selling that wine at the LCBO.

One thing I've noticed about Tulsa is that there are quite a few liquor stores here, which is nice. They sell beer at most stores here (gas stations, grocery stores, pharmacies, etc.) but those stores seem to only be allowed to sell beer that is less than 3.2%. The liquor stores are the only ones allowed to sell stuff with a higher alcohol content... but they're not allowed to sell them cold. It's kinda weird. So in a pinch, the options are buying cold sissy beer at a regular store, or warm 'normal' beer at the liquor store. Heh. I'm told that there used to be a drive-thru beer store here, but it's gone now.

Banking here is still confusing to me. My bank still uses deposit slips and all that. It makes me laugh and brings back memories of going to the bank with my Mom back in the 80s. Oooh, and there is no ATM inside the bank. That confused me. They have I think 4 drive-thrus, but only one of those is an ATM. The rest have those video screens that you use to talk to the teller. It's... different.

About the whole "I gave up everything" thing... sure I feel that way and I don't think it's offensive or immature at all. My husband actually brings that up more than I do, and he has done that since before I moved. He feels awful about it, and there were times before I moved that I had to comfort HIM and reassure him that I made this decision too. It wasn't made for me. He decided in the spring that we should've actually planned for him to move to Canada because he realized he really likes it there. Of course, that would've been really silly after we had already paid for everything and had our case complete at NVC, so we kept going with the original plan. It makes more sense financially for me to be here right now. But it's good to know that if I don't adjust well here that moving back is definitely an option for us.

[Aero and Dero 0]

Obviously, as a USC, I've never had to move from Canada to the US. But I had to move from the east coast to the west coast in efforts to be closer to my, at the time, boyfriend. In my first year here, I was incredibly sad, and ended up crying almost every night. I missed my family (they were everything to me) and I missed the brands I was used to, the stores I was used to, and the people I was used to. And not only had I moved, but it was a move so we could see each other on weekends, so during the week, I had just me, myself, and I and my thoughts. I had friends, but while friends are great, for the most part, they have their own lives to contend with. Somehow, it was always worse when I was sick, esp. with no mommy around to take care of me.

There were a lot of times in that first year I moved out to the west coast to be closer that I resented him. He had his family still, in fact his mom still cooked for him, did his laundry, and cleaned up after him. Unlike me, he never went away to college and didn't seem to realize just how good he had it, cause he's never not had it. There was definitely the sense of 'I gave up so much so we could be closer' but I think I only said it once, when I randomly burst into tears in the middle of the Cheesecake Factory on one of our weekends together. I was generally careful about saying it because, with it, came also the realization that I can't live my entire life based on him and to blame him for a choice I made wasn't fair, but that doesn't mean I didn't feel it a lot.

Things got a lot better after that, clearly. I adjusted. But five years later (keeping in mind this is 'just a move' from across the country), I still get baffled as to why certain brands aren't carried here. Thank goodness for the internet and online ordering. And sometime in the last five years, my family isn't really my family anymore as much as he is my family and all the little stuff stopped mattering as much. I still love my parents and siblings, but they stopped being my priority and were replaced by him.

While most of the reason for him moving to the US is financially-based (I own my house outright with no mortgage payments or loans, he owns his house with his parents with a hefty loan/he'd make more money here in his field than in Canada), a small part of it, I admit, is because I don't think I could handle uprooting my life, yet again, for him, while he would continue to live comfortably surrounded by everything he's grown up with. So while it's not the same as a Canada to US move, I feel it's fairly similar moving cross-country at least in sentiment.

Edited October 1, 2009 by Aero and Dero

[Sprailenes 47]

I do love the amount of micro breweries here. I enjoy going on beer tours with my husband and trying new ones, and I am always impressed with the selection. Even though back home people seem to think Americans drink piss. They usually say this while holding a bottle of coors too - something that always kind of makes me chuckle.

[Aero and Dero 0]

I do love the amount of micro breweries here. I enjoy going on beer tours with my husband and trying new ones, and I am always impressed with the selection. Even though back home people seem to think Americans drink piss. They usually say this while holding a bottle of coors too - something that always kind of makes me chuckle.

Which is funny, cause I think most people where I am think Canadians drink piss. XD But I live in an area surrounded by a ton of microbreweries.

[thetreble 19]

Aero-completely understandable. I'm sure moving from the west to the east of any country is probably similiar to moving countries all together!

I think why some comments in this thread have got me so heated, is because we are all humans and we each express things different ways. I'm very outright with my feelings, I say what I feel at all times. My husband actually likes that, because then he knows where I stand and we don't have to do a dance for months on end about what is actually going on underneath it all. It appears that if any one's spouse would get upset or hurt because of what their spouse is feeling, maybe there is an insecurity factor there.

And, it's my opinion that one should never hold feelings in or sugar coat things so that their spouse's feelings don't get hurt. That's just covering up your own hurt and I think many of us have done enough for our spouse that we shouldn't have to cover our feelings up too.

This entire process is difficult for each party involved. I think every one can agree on that. But I lost a lot of opportunities when I moved. I left all my work contacts, my school contacts behind...trying to even recoup those things now is really difficult.

[JillA 2]

Aero-completely understandable. I'm sure moving from the west to the east of any country is probably similiar to moving countries all together!

I think why some comments in this thread have got me so heated, is because we are all humans and we each express things different ways. I'm very outright with my feelings, I say what I feel at all times. My husband actually likes that, because then he knows where I stand and we don't have to do a dance for months on end about what is actually going on underneath it all. It appears that if any one's spouse would get upset or hurt because of what their spouse is feeling, maybe there is an insecurity factor there.

And, it's my opinion that one should never hold feelings in or sugar coat things so that their spouse's feelings don't get hurt. That's just covering up your own hurt and I think many of us have done enough for our spouse that we shouldn't have to cover our feelings up too.

This entire process is difficult for each party involved. I think every one can agree on that. But I lost a lot of opportunities when I moved. I left all my work contacts, my school contacts behind...trying to even recoup those things now is really difficult.

I am like this too Amanda. I wear my feelings on my sleeve, if I'm upset, well I can't hide it and pretend all is well. I have to talk about it, that's just how I am. If I'm homesick/lonely/upset, I tell my husband or call home. And my husband is so understanding about everything, he's even said a few times "why don't you go home this weekend?" Even just hearing that, makes me feel better. But I truly think talking about stuff, communication is what makes a marriage work. If one keeps their feelings bottled up inside, that can lead to resentment.

Anyway, I'll be the first to admit I have said on more than one occasion "I gave up everything for you". I didn't mean to pour guilt on or anything, but well it's true. I miss my old apartment on the lake, my job with great colleagues, my Mum & sister living 10 minutes away, friends, neighborhood, just EVERYTHING.... and when I do say that, he answers with "I know you did" and just listens to me vent, cry or whatever else I need to do, to feel better. And I DID give it all up, because visiting 4-5 times per year is nothing. You miss out on tons of stuff living away. I am now just a visitor, not included in so many things, etc. So I do feel that I gave up so much, not that I regret that.

[thetreble 19]

Anyway, I'll be the first to admit I have said on more than one occasion "I gave up everything for you". I didn't mean to pour guilt on or anything, but well it's true. I miss my old apartment on the lake, my job with great colleagues, my Mum & sister living 10 minutes away, friends, neighborhood, just EVERYTHING.... and when I do say that, he answers with "I know you did" and just listens to me vent, cry or whatever else I need to do, to feel better. And I DID give it all up, because visiting 4-5 times per year is nothing. You miss out on tons of stuff living away. I am now just a visitor, not included in so many things, etc. So I do feel that I gave up so much, not that I regret that.

EGG-zactly.

That's what my husband does too. He just sits there, listens to me, and nods his head knowing that I have done so. And that is why I know I married the right guy!!

Knowing you are a visitor to your home country is...really bizarre. In fact, it almost made me sick to my stomach at the thought of it for quite a few years.

[redmen99 1]

Udella, Bryn Athyn College is like a 2 minute drive from me, I can actually walk there! It's such a beautiful campus, with lots of old mature trees and the church is just lovely.... my friends actually wanted to take their wedding photos on the church grounds, but they charged $500 so they went elsewhere

I worked so many jobs in that area and never did the tours they have there.

Huntingdon Valley is a pretty big historic area. I used to work, as a second job, at Restaurant right on Huntingdon Pike called Ricardo's and behind the counter the owner had walking tour brochures of the area. When it was dead in there I used to read the brochure to pass the time and found it pretty interesting actually.

QUOTE (Sprailenes @ Oct 1 2009, 08:35 AM) *

I do love the amount of micro breweries here. I enjoy going on beer tours with my husband and trying new ones, and I am always impressed with the selection. Even though back home people seem to think Americans drink piss. laughing.gif They usually say this while holding a bottle of coors too - something that always kind of makes me chuckle.

Not only do Americans drink piss, but Canadian beer is stronger! I love that logic. Yeah, keep drinking your Coors Light there... It works out to be the same percentage. One is by weight, the other is by volume. Now if only I could get Alexander Keiths here other then bringing it home from Duty Free....

[JillA 2]

Anyway, I'll be the first to admit I have said on more than one occasion "I gave up everything for you". I didn't mean to pour guilt on or anything, but well it's true. I miss my old apartment on the lake, my job with great colleagues, my Mum & sister living 10 minutes away, friends, neighborhood, just EVERYTHING.... and when I do say that, he answers with "I know you did" and just listens to me vent, cry or whatever else I need to do, to feel better. And I DID give it all up, because visiting 4-5 times per year is nothing. You miss out on tons of stuff living away. I am now just a visitor, not included in so many things, etc. So I do feel that I gave up so much, not that I regret that.

EGG-zactly.

That's what my husband does too. He just sits there, listens to me, and nods his head knowing that I have done so. And that is why I know I married the right guy!!

Knowing you are a visitor to your home country is...really bizarre. In fact, it almost made me sick to my stomach at the thought of it for quite a few years.

Oh gosh, last time I entered Canada and they asked how long I was staying, I felt like crying and saying "I CAN STAY FOREVER IF I WANT, I'M A CITIZEN HERE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[warlord 72]

I do love the amount of micro breweries here. I enjoy going on beer tours with my husband and trying new ones, and I am always impressed with the selection. Even though back home people seem to think Americans drink piss. They usually say this while holding a bottle of coors too - something that always kind of makes me chuckle.

Which is funny, cause I think most people where I am think Canadians drink piss. XD But I live in an area surrounded by a ton of microbreweries.

I always got sick on Canadian beer, it just has this thing that always triggered my gag reflexes. When I got here and started drinking good old American beer, I no longer encountered that (well Bud can triger it, but that's about it). I just never liked the taste of Canadian beer, for some reason it always seemed skunky and nasty to me...

[Krikit 1,163]

There were a lot of times in that first year I moved out to the west coast to be closer that I resented him. He had his family still, in fact his mom still cooked for him, did his laundry, and cleaned up after him. Unlike me, he never went away to college and didn't seem to realize just how good he had it, cause he's never not had it. There was definitely the sense of 'I gave up so much so we could be closer' but I think I only said it once, when I randomly burst into tears in the middle of the Cheesecake Factory on one of our weekends together. I was generally careful about saying it because, with it, came also the realization that I can't live my entire life based on him and to blame him for a choice I made wasn't fair, but that doesn't mean I didn't feel it a lot.

Awwwww. (((((hugs))))))

Oh gosh, last time I entered Canada and they asked how long I was staying, I felt like crying and saying "I CAN STAY FOREVER IF I WANT, I'M A CITIZEN HERE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"