Not sure where to start

[Cheyenne 15]

I've been on this website for a little bit, but never had anything to contribute. Until now, I guess. I just feel like I am at the end of my rope. Hisham and I have been apart for so long now. Between his work schedule and mine we barely get a chance to speak. We been on AP since Jan 2006.

I pray every day, but I still find myself questioning if this is the right decision. Is there anyone out there going through the same situation or something similar? Maybe just someone I can talk to who really understands what I'm going through.

Thank you and blessings to all.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I am so sorry to hear this...

I'm sure you have called DOS, the Consulate, and your senators and congressmen... that is really the only advice I can give you is to keep calling keep writing and to be persistent.

It makes me so sad to see that you have been going through this for so long. Unfortunately there are many other women here who are in your shoes and I am sure that they can offer you some good advice.

Good luck to you,

Sarah

[Together4ever 1]

We're going through a different Embassy but I can really sympathize with how you are feeling. It gets to be such a numbing thing, day after day, feeling like you are chasing paper butterflies. We're sneaking up on 4 months now. I can't begin to imagine how 6 months would feel. A good percentage of those who post on this forum are in the same waiting time frame.

All you can do is trust things will be positive and go about your life day to day, but I know the meltdowns can sure sneak up on you. Reach for the positive in every day if you can. This is something I've been having talks with myself about too. Just know there are people here who definitely do understand how you are feeling.

[LaL 418]

Paige,

I hope you keep your spirits up. I know it can be difficult, many others on here know what you are going through. Just know that this phase rarely lasts forever and will come to an end.

Please be sure, if you are emotionally capable of it, to not sit and just pray for a good outcome, please be sure to handle your case, as you are the best resource to follow up. I can understand if you are not up to it right now, but certainly when you are feel ing strong & brave call/fax/email people you think can help.

You have a weath of information here!

Laura

[Cheyenne 15]

I really appreciate your responses. Just knowing that there are others out there going through the same thing. I can talk to my family about it, but I don't want to worry my mother so much, she hates to see me so down.

And yes, I feel like I've contacted everyone and their brother. I just don't feel like they care that I am an actual person, I just feel the stigma of being in love with a man from the Middle East. I am not one to whine in such a public arena and am feeling a bit self conscious about it. I read about your Yahoo Group but was too shy when you started it. I've always been the strong one and feel that I am slowly falling apart. I don't want to end my relationship with my beloved, but is it really fair that we have to endure this?

[sarah and hicham 3]

Don't feel shy!

We're all here for you and you are at home here trust me. There are so many nice women and men on this forum who know exactly how you feel and I would advise you to join the group and make some friends.

Also, do not give up and don't stop calling and writing everyone you can like I said before. Have you called Casa? You can call and inquire about your case. It takes some patience and persistence but you might feel better knowing whats going on. Same goes for DOS.

Good luck and don't be shy!

Sarah

[Visa4habibi! 0]

"I just don't feel like they care that I am an actual person, I just feel the stigma of being in love with a man from the Middle East.... feel that I am slowly falling apart. I don't want to end my relationship with my beloved, but is it really fair that we have to endure this?"

You're not alone in this... how would i delicately put it?... it feel like a swamp or a spider web. I feel powerless and feel like giving up very often. But when i look into his eyes (even on web cam) or go there...

What helps is that i go there every six months, when i feel like i'm about to lose my mind. I go there to stop this madness. Then i start missing him even more. But after FOUR visits it gets a little easier. Not saying that it gets easy, just gets easiER. (Yeah, it's been two years and two months for me. Not since filing, but since meeting him...)

And credit card bills for visits help out too, lol. Now i can't get any crazier - just can not afford it. But i'm at the point when i think, i should just let him go and live his life and stop this madness. Well, you get my point. It's normal what you feel, that's all i'm saying. And it's for you to decide what you want to do. It's hard, somebody said that we should get gold medals after we're done with the process. I think, we should get one for every month we are waiting! And a free trip every two month! I wonder who'd pay?

Tanya

[sarah and hicham 3]

Sorry to interrupt here, but can you guys fill in your timelines? That would be lovely thanks!

[Cheyenne 15]

Don't feel shy!

We're all here for you and you are at home here trust me. There are so many nice women and men on this forum who know exactly how you feel and I would advise you to join the group and make some friends.

Also, do not give up and don't stop calling and writing everyone you can like I said before. Have you called Casa? You can call and inquire about your case. It takes some patience and persistence but you might feel better knowing whats going on. Same goes for DOS.

Good luck and don't be shy!

Sarah

Thanks, Sarah. My shyness has followed me around for most of my life. It's one of the reasons I felt so at home with Hisham, I have never felt more comfortable around anyone. Now around his parents, that's another story. lol I'm not really sure if I'm ready to join a group right now, I don't know what I would be able to contribute. On a more serious note, I'm a bit hesitant because I have a hard time around negative people, some groups tend to bring those out. I really just need to surround myself around peace, happiness, and praying.

[sarah and hicham 3]

That is understandable, and even if you don't contribute often you can still be part of the group and learn a lot from these women. I'm sorry about your shyness... it's good to see that Hisham has helped you and I'm sure that when you are together here you will be so happy and become so confident that it will all go away.

Where are you from?

Take care,

Sarah

[Cheyenne 15]

That is understandable, and even if you don't contribute often you can still be part of the group and learn a lot from these women. I'm sorry about your shyness... it's good to see that Hisham has helped you and I'm sure that when you are together here you will be so happy and become so confident that it will all go away.

Where are you from?

Take care,

Sarah

Sarah,

I'm in Florida (east coast) right now. You are right about once Hisham comes home, it will be just perfect. He is the only piece of my puzzle that is missing at this moment. I will certainly think about your yahoo group, thank you for the welcome. I didn't think I would feel this comfortable once I made that first post. It has taken me weeks just to get up the nerve to do that.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Aww you poor thing!

If you ever want to chat my yahoo id is sarahandhicham. I'm always glad to meet someone new!

Don't be afraid to post, here you learn to ignore a lot of things.

Sarah

[Together4ever 1]

I'm reading this thread all teared up. I rage in my head sometimes at these invisible people who hold my future with my fiance in their hands. They don't know my pain. They don't know my frustration. They don't know this depth of loneliness. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I start to feel I'm being swallowed by grief. Their job is to protect and follow the system. I know this. I respect it. And at times I just plain don't care.

But we get to live many months (sometimes years) of this feeling of no floor under our feet, just hanging in a void out "there" somewhere waiting, waiting, waiting to feel like a normal human being again and to just be with the partner we chose. But it's not their fault. They are just doing their job.

I know that I have been one of those sources of negativity lately. I am angry. I am frustrated. I have a chip on my shoulder thanks to "the incident which shall not be mentioned" where my privacy and the sanctity of the love I cherish was raped. I'm trying to heal. But a lot of the negativity you see from people here comes from those feelings I stated above. Of course not all our feelings are the same, but I'll bet they are fairly similar. Sometimes you just pop.

I'm glad you broke through your shyness. I was a board member for a few months before I started posting too. It's nice to share with you. Feel free to message me any time if you need to vent. I can surely understand.

[djcess 0]

my fiance and i had been apart for 1 year and 5 months now.. i'm sorry to hear bout your situation. As what i have learned in this Long distance relationship is that it's not how far, it's how much. I hope you guys won't give up.

[Cheyenne 15]

Thanks Jean and Sarah and all of the other lovely ladies that have responded. Today was a good day as Hisham and I were able to talk more than we usually do. How do you all communicate with your man? Sounds silly, but sometimes I get on these kicks where I will send him a letter every single day. Most about nothing at all, some are just doodles while I'm sitting at my desk. But mostly they are just to let him know that I am thinking of him and that he is my heart.

As for the invisible people holding our fate in their hands, I just pray for them. I pray that they are given the wisdom and the insight to do what is right for our case. I know we will be victorious in the end, that is what keeps me positive.

I am so happy that I found this forum again. It is such a blessing and came just when I needed it. Thank you so much ladies. I truly enjoy being here and I greatly appreciate your reception.