Pros and cons of wife keeping surname after marriage?

[Kabigon 0]

Hey everyone. My wife entered on a K-1 (fiancee) visa two years ago. We have filed for the removal of conditions (I-751) are just in the process of waiting right now.

When we got married, my wife chose to keep her surname. Where she is from (China), her family members and relatives seem to keep their surnames after marriage or do any of the name change options (such as adding her surname to mine, or changing her surname to a middle name, etc). I respected her decision, but I was worried that it would have some disadvantages down the road. Thus, I have been rethinking again, and at this stage, it is already pass the point where she can change her surname in an easy fashion. I believe it would be much harder to get her name changed legally after citizenship. I forgot to mention that we are both young (she is 21 and I am 23), and we have decided that our future children's surnames would be named after mine.

So, I was wondering what would be the pros and cons of the wife either keeping or changing her surname? I was worried that it would have an effect on us such as joint filing, our future children, or something else. She has chose to keep her name as is. Any advice or suggestions?

Thanks!

Edited September 27, 2009 by Kabigon

[christeen 966]

My husband is from Italy and there too, it is common for women to keep their family surname. I am also a photographer and my name is my business and my reputation is built on my name. So all that combined, I did not change my name. We have been married for over 6 years and I have not had any issues. When we have children, they will take my husbands last name, but for myself, it does not affect anything. I think it is a personal decision and if it is not an issue for you, the husband nor her, the wife, then it is whatever you wish. For legal reasons there is no issue except that I have found at customs, since we have different last names, they want a customs declaration from each of us....

[Kabigon 0]

My husband is from Italy and there too, it is common for women to keep their family surname. I am also a photographer and my name is my business and my reputation is built on my name. So all that combined, I did not change my name. We have been married for over 6 years and I have not had any issues. When we have children, they will take my husbands last name, but for myself, it does not affect anything. I think it is a personal decision and if it is not an issue for you, the husband nor her, the wife, then it is whatever you wish. For legal reasons there is no issue except that I have found at customs, since we have different last names, they want a customs declaration from each of us....

Ah, I see. Thanks for the quick reply, christeen! My wife and I have not started our career professionally yet. We are still in the sole beginnings of it in terms of meeting people socially and following up with acquaintances, so I do hope that our names will not affect it any way. I was raised in a very traditional family, and my mother changed her surname after my father's after marriage, so I wasn't fully aware of what advantages or disadvantages of not changing it would be. I do recall that my wife and I going back to her country last year, and we actually asked the flight attendant which route to go for our customs form because we were married, BUT had two different last names. The flight attendant told us just to put it on one form, and it seemed to work at that time. But it probably varies from airport to airport on how customs wants it. I just hope it doesn't become too bothersome in the future.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

My husband is from Italy and there too, it is common for women to keep their family surname. I am also a photographer and my name is my business and my reputation is built on my name. So all that combined, I did not change my name. We have been married for over 6 years and I have not had any issues. When we have children, they will take my husbands last name, but for myself, it does not affect anything. I think it is a personal decision and if it is not an issue for you, the husband nor her, the wife, then it is whatever you wish. For legal reasons there is no issue except that I have found at customs, since we have different last names, they want a customs declaration from each of us....

Ah, I see. Thanks for the quick reply, christeen! My wife and I have not started our career professionally yet. We are still in the sole beginnings of it in terms of meeting people socially and following up with acquaintances, so I do hope that our names will not affect it any way. I was raised in a very traditional family, and my mother changed her surname after my father's after marriage, so I wasn't fully aware of what advantages or disadvantages of not changing it would be. I do recall that my wife and I going back to her country last year, and we actually asked the flight attendant which route to go for our customs form because we were married, BUT had two different last names. The flight attendant told us just to put it on one form, and it seemed to work at that time. But it probably varies from airport to airport on how customs wants it. I just hope it doesn't become too bothersome in the future.

Don't worry about it. The only problem you're likely to encounter is that some people will presume you have the same last name because you're married. Don't be surprised if you occasionally get phone calls referring to you as "Mr. (whatever your wife's last name is)".

My sister has been married for nearly 30 years. She kept her last name because she didn't like her husband's last name. It's never been a problem for her.

In my fiancee's country it is also customary for the wife to keep her own family name. It actually doesn't make much difference in Vietnam because there's a better than 50% chance both will have the same family name, anyway. It's not because they're marrying cousins, or anything like that. More than half the population have the family name "Nguyen", taken from the last emperor of the country. Curiously, my fiancee wants to change her name when we get married, but I want her to keep her own name.

[christeen 966]

My husband is from Italy and there too, it is common for women to keep their family surname. I am also a photographer and my name is my business and my reputation is built on my name. So all that combined, I did not change my name. We have been married for over 6 years and I have not had any issues. When we have children, they will take my husbands last name, but for myself, it does not affect anything. I think it is a personal decision and if it is not an issue for you, the husband nor her, the wife, then it is whatever you wish. For legal reasons there is no issue except that I have found at customs, since we have different last names, they want a customs declaration from each of us....

Ah, I see. Thanks for the quick reply, christeen! My wife and I have not started our career professionally yet. We are still in the sole beginnings of it in terms of meeting people socially and following up with acquaintances, so I do hope that our names will not affect it any way. I was raised in a very traditional family, and my mother changed her surname after my father's after marriage, so I wasn't fully aware of what advantages or disadvantages of not changing it would be. I do recall that my wife and I going back to her country last year, and we actually asked the flight attendant which route to go for our customs form because we were married, BUT had two different last names. The flight attendant told us just to put it on one form, and it seemed to work at that time. But it probably varies from airport to airport on how customs wants it. I just hope it doesn't become too bothersome in the future.

I agree, it totally depends on who you get, their mood, the airport, if its sunny or raining....lol.., perhaps, since now he will be entering as an immigrant (god I cant Wait!!!) it might be less of an issue??? Plus, that only happend to us once in Miami and Once in Newark??? So it depends... But we still go through immigration together. But I just think it is just a personal decision and doesent effect anything legally...

Edited September 27, 2009 by christeen

[Kabigon 0]

Thanks for the replies, all. It makes more sense now.

My understanding is that if we were to change name later, it would be a painful and lengthy process as our names begin to build up on everything. After our ROC approval, my wife will file for naturalization. Plus, if we try to hyphenate or add our names together, it just sounds plain weird, heh. A

Also, My wife's parents (my parents-in-law, so to speak) have the same last names too, but only because like JimVaPhuong mentioned--as a culture, they took the name after the village they were living in.

My initial concerns were that there would be a problem with such joint filing procedures such as insurances, taxes, or other bureaucratic inquiries because our last names are different. Traditionally speaking, it would make sense for a common/same surname to make things "flow more smoothly and such", but other people have mentioned that it is usually no problem. Hopefully, that is the case.

[baron555 934]

Thanks for the replies, all. It makes more sense now.

My understanding is that if we were to change name later, it would be a painful and lengthy process as our names begin to build up on everything. After our ROC approval, my wife will file for naturalization. Plus, if we try to hyphenate or add our names together, it just sounds plain weird, heh. A

Also, My wife's parents (my parents-in-law, so to speak) have the same last names too, but only because like JimVaPhuong mentioned--as a culture, they took the name after the village they were living in.

My initial concerns were that there would be a problem with such joint filing procedures such as insurances, taxes, or other bureaucratic inquiries because our last names are different. Traditionally speaking, it would make sense for a common/same surname to make things "flow more smoothly and such", but other people have mentioned that it is usually no problem. Hopefully, that is the case.

It never was a problem for my ex-girlfriend and I to have the mortgage, insurance, bank accounts, utility bills, using two different last names.

My fiancee probably will not change her last name and actually I wouldn't want her to; it's too nice and to me a nod to her origin.

[Krikit 1,164]

Like the others have said, it is not a problem. As for a name change later on..... the marriage certificate is her proof of legal name change if she adds your name onto hers. No problems there. I have no knowedge if a male is awarded the same benefit, though I know there were some on VJ who did take the female's last name. Hopefully, they will see this thread and give you some insight. Or try an advanced search.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Like the others have said, it is not a problem. As for a name change later on..... the marriage certificate is her proof of legal name change if she adds your name onto hers. No problems there. I have no knowedge if a male is awarded the same benefit, though I know there were some on VJ who did take the female's last name. Hopefully, they will see this thread and give you some insight. Or try an advanced search.

The laws vary by state. In California, either spouse may take the last name of the other spouse, or a hyphenated combination of the two names.

[pushbrk 12,879]

Hey everyone. My wife entered on a K-1 (fiancee) visa two years ago. We have filed for the removal of conditions (I-751) are just in the process of waiting right now.

When we got married, my wife chose to keep her surname. Where she is from (China), her family members and relatives seem to keep their surnames after marriage or do any of the name change options (such as adding her surname to mine, or changing her surname to a middle name, etc). I respected her decision, but I was worried that it would have some disadvantages down the road. Thus, I have been rethinking again, and at this stage, it is already pass the point where she can change her surname in an easy fashion. I believe it would be much harder to get her name changed legally after citizenship. I forgot to mention that we are both young (she is 21 and I am 23), and we have decided that our future children's surnames would be named after mine.

So, I was wondering what would be the pros and cons of the wife either keeping or changing her surname? I was worried that it would have an effect on us such as joint filing, our future children, or something else. She has chose to keep her name as is. Any advice or suggestions?

Thanks!

My wife has been here from China three years. She kept her name with no problems. Her daughter has a separate surname as well. We just let the letter carrier know there are three family names and two business names receiving mail at our address. If your status as man and wife is ever in question, just provide a copy of your marriage certificate.

[NycBra 4]

Changing last name is very personal. I particularly did not change mine for various reasons: I did not want to give up my family names; since I already have 2 last names (from mom and from dad), including a third one would be too much. I also have published dissertations and articles on my name and that's how I have always been known at work environment, therefore I did not want to loose it. In addition, I have a lot of accounts and things in Brazil and changing everything to a new name would be a pain.

My husband didn't really care one way or another, so I kept my name as it is. We plan to name our children with my last name as the children " middle name" and his last name as the children " last name".

Anyway, I never had any problem with filing taxes jointly, bank accounts, investment accounts, leases or immigration because we have different last names. I believe is somewhat more common now for women to keep their last name. I guess my only "problem" was with the in-laws. I don't think they were happy after finding out I don't sign their last name.

Actually, only once I had to "prove" I was my husband's wife when picking up a package that arrived at the post office for him. But I luckily had a check in my bag where it shows both of our names on it, and there was no problem.

So, the fact that your wife kept her last name should not interfere with the immigration process.

Edited September 27, 2009 by NycBra

[NycBra 4]

My husband is from Italy and there too, it is common for women to keep their family surname. I am also a photographer and my name is my business and my reputation is built on my name. So all that combined, I did not change my name. We have been married for over 6 years and I have not had any issues. When we have children, they will take my husbands last name, but for myself, it does not affect anything. I think it is a personal decision and if it is not an issue for you, the husband nor her, the wife, then it is whatever you wish. For legal reasons there is no issue except that I have found at customs, since we have different last names, they want a customs declaration from each of us....

Funny... for me they always asked us to include one of the names since we are a " family ", therefore only one customs form. For customs, we usually use my husband's name when we enter/leave US and mine when we enter/leave Brazil.

[lindal24 1]

I didn't change my name when I got married...my husband didn't care either way since it's customary in our country (Vietnam) to keep our names from birth. Everyone here thought it was a different/weird that I didn't change my name after we got married...but in the end, no biggie.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I kept my maiden name as well. We have been married for 5 years now and it has never been a problem. In fact, there are some things that have been easier to do since I didn't have to worry about having to change my identification to all agree with a new name. Both of our names are listed on our cheques, bank accounts, credit card accounts, taxes - no problems. We do get some interesting mail though - he gets my last name and I get his last names - and friends who don't know just use first names - no last names appear on the envelopes. If your wife wants to keep her maiden name, it really won't be an issue at all.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hey everyone. My wife entered on a K-1 (fiancee) visa two years ago. We have filed for the removal of conditions (I-751) are just in the process of waiting right now.

When we got married, my wife chose to keep her surname. Where she is from (China), her family members and relatives seem to keep their surnames after marriage or do any of the name change options (such as adding her surname to mine, or changing her surname to a middle name, etc). I respected her decision, but I was worried that it would have some disadvantages down the road. Thus, I have been rethinking again, and at this stage, it is already pass the point where she can change her surname in an easy fashion. I believe it would be much harder to get her name changed legally after citizenship. I forgot to mention that we are both young (she is 21 and I am 23), and we have decided that our future children's surnames would be named after mine.

So, I was wondering what would be the pros and cons of the wife either keeping or changing her surname? I was worried that it would have an effect on us such as joint filing, our future children, or something else. She has chose to keep her name as is. Any advice or suggestions?

Thanks!

My wife kept her name and it is a LOT easier for many things and not really a downside for anything so far. Although I will admit that once you go through the initial hassle it doesn't make much difference either way.