Getting through

[R&C 0]

I was wondering how you guys get through this. I came back a month ago and I'm still constantly depressed. I occasionally cry, I'm stressed everyday about going back to her, I hardly eat, and I just have no clue what to do to get through this and be somewhat ok until I can get back there. To make it even harder on me I had to get rid of our dog so I have to live with that too. How can I get through this?

[tommys_girl 0]

I was wondering how you guys get through this. I came back a month ago and I'm still constantly depressed. I occasionally cry, I'm stressed everyday about going back to her, I hardly eat, and I just have no clue what to do to get through this and be somewhat ok until I can get back there. To make it even harder on me I had to get rid of our dog so I have to live with that too. How can I get through this?

Its not easy but when you are back together believe me you will look back at amazement on how you managed to get thru the hard times, my now hubby and i spent the best part of 3 years apart while waiting for my K1 in that time only spending 3 1/2 months together. we managed to do it and im sure you can too. in the meantime we are here to help and encourage you and before you know it you will be back together i promise!!! keep ya chin up

[R&C 0]

I was wondering how you guys get through this. I came back a month ago and I'm still constantly depressed. I occasionally cry, I'm stressed everyday about going back to her, I hardly eat, and I just have no clue what to do to get through this and be somewhat ok until I can get back there. To make it even harder on me I had to get rid of our dog so I have to live with that too. How can I get through this?

Its not easy but when you are back together believe me you will look back at amazement on how you managed to get thru the hard times, my now hubby and i spent the best part of 3 years apart while waiting for my K1 in that time only spending 3 1/2 months together. we managed to do it and im sure you can too. in the meantime we are here to help and encourage you and before you know it you will be back together i promise!!! keep ya chin up

Wow, and I thought I had it bad having to wait like 5 or 6 months. It's not that I worry about losing her or anything and I have every bit of trust in her, I just miss her so much. Her and I have always been complimented together, we have had people tell us so many times that they wish they had a love like ours because her and I constantly put each other first and we treat each other the best we can. We got a dog while I was there and we were even stopped on busy roads as we walked down the sidewalk with him and had people compliment him and congratulate us.

[NickD 203]

Weird isn't it. A long distant relationship, reminded me of my military days, but back then, impossible to call or super expensive, so letter writing was the only way to stay in contact. Least today, we have computers and phone cards. Back then was the dreaded Dear John, many of us received those, extremely depressive and not a damn thing you could do about it. Would never give you emergency leave for a Dear John.

Was done with women anyway, after my divorce and the way I was creamed, kept busy at work to pay off all those nasty bills, started traveling, and buying all that stuff I always wanted, but couldn't due to other obligations, was a free guy. Then I had to meet, "her", fall madly in love and separated by a great distance. From the time I asked her to marry her, and she said yes even before I finished the question, it was 13 long months until we were finally together. Was constantly worried about her. Had the advantage of being self employed so could schedule my life to some degree, we never let three months go by without seeing each other. But parting left a huge pain, like our hearts were being ripped out. Still the thoughts of a Dear John, but if we could endure the long wait, we truly were meant, or at least extremely interested in each other. After work, kept busy making my home to her desires, got her a new car, she couldn't bring hers over and wanted a five speed. Did get her a laptop and a digital camera so we could stay in contact and a web camera. Also had to deal with the USCIS while we both worked together to get her daughter free so she could come here as well.

What kind of country is this anyway? I didn't get married while serving our country, the guys that did needed permission, not from either their parents or the girls parents, but from the military. Thought those days were over, now needed permission from the USCIS with also the DOS tossed in. Thought that was crazy, but a far different person when I was just a kid. This time, I had the money and resources, but still took all that time to legally get all that stuff in order and the USCIS is damn slow. Even after that AOS process threats of us existed in that damn conditional residence and USC, that finally passed. But we stuck it out.

At least we were together, but those thoughts are still strong when we were apart, every morning for five years, glad to see her. If it's meant to be or if you are really interested in each other. Not sure if it's fate or will, you will get through it.

I didn't cry or get depressed, teed off was more like it.

[Ban Hammer 13,349]

it's a process that teaches patience, that's for sure.

what type of visa is the op petitioning for?

[marklovetina 52]

wow hehehe... but patience is the only way to get through this... like others said... it will not take long..u never know u will be together soon....

[NickD 203]

Other factors enter the equation, wife and I had both extremely bad marriages, neither of us gave it time in our younger years. Having a bad marriage is a zillion times worse than being single, believe me. Just read the Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits on this board for others with very bad experiences.

Marriage is a lot more then you and her, in-laws, family, and with foreign marriages, one of you has to go through a strong culture and even a language change. Finances are a very key factor in keeping a marriage together, use to say that two can live as cheaply as one, that is a big joke.

The true test of a relationship is time, wife and I gave it two years even with a very strong physical and a platonic relationship. She met my family and I met hers before hand. I actually love my mother-in-law and she loves me. Spent a lot of time with my wife teaching her English and we did a lot of traveling together to see my country that is now hers as well.

Can use this time apart to develop your relationship, and if she is the one, you will not be looking at other skirts and the same with her, but pants instead. If it falls apart, you are far better off.

[R&C 0]

it's a process that teaches patience, that's for sure.

what type of visa is the op petitioning for?

I'm hoping I can do the DCF visa. I wish that people didn't have to go through all of this, in a way I feel that our government (U.S.) is a little too strict with allowing people in. Especially when someone has served our country, they deserve every right to be with someone they love.

[Ban Hammer 13,349]

it's a process that teaches patience, that's for sure.

what type of visa is the op petitioning for?

I'm hoping I can do the DCF visa. I wish that people didn't have to go through all of this, in a way I feel that our government (U.S.) is a little too strict with allowing people in. Especially when someone has served our country, they deserve every right to be with someone they love.

you'll find that has little to do with immigration.