Europe or US to meet? Visa questions.

[Chris M 1]

Well her story goes something like this... She is 28, I am 34. She has a degree in economics and will have another degree in finance in February. She has gone as far as taking video of herself in her class while her teacher is teaching (which I thought was very cute). This is one of the reasons we are waiting til the spring. We thought the weather would be better and we would have more time to get to know one another as well. She is a very sweet girl and you can see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice she is true. I really don't want to put her on trial here. I appreciate the help, but I do not think her honesty the issue. She did tell me she was married (to a Russian) before, and the reason she left him was because he drank too much. I can truly appreciate her courage and honesty in that. She has showed me through pictures and video the area in which she lives. She is in these videos and has addressed me continually. She has stayed up until 1 or 2 in the morning emailing me when she has to be at work the next day.

So to me she is a good person with a big heart. I am not a gullible guy, but I admit the first month and a half of conversation I was trying to figure her out as well. Of course I do not want to be taken for a fool, but I can assure you she is a great girl who has a lot to offer. I appreciate you al looking out for the "New Guy," but I do not want to question her intentions anymore.

So on to other issues... I guess I will be thinking about where we want to go. It seems like there are many options. If I did DR I would be fine, but it would be along trip for her. If I go to Russia it would be a long trip for me. either way I think we will bother be tired. Oh well, the world is not in one time zone. I know we have some time to think about this, so I will continue to run this by her to see what she wants to do as well. Either way we are 12 hours apart and someone, or both of us are going to be tired. ha ha.

Thanks again guys.

My friend don't ask me why, but if you were born between 11-FEB-1975 and 30-JAN-1976 and she was born between 5-FEB-1981 and 24-JAN-1982, that is a very bad combination and you better run for the hills, because sooner or later you are going to feel oppressed and very unhappy as a result.

These relationships are sweet at the beginning, but the differences run so deep that you two will have a difficult time making it work, no matter how hard you try. I understand that every personality is different, but I learned the hard way. So, why tempt fate?

If any of you falls outside those dates, then everything should be more workable. Believe me only if you want, but I am not joking about this. Sorry for being negative, but ...

That is amazing... I got the same thing in a fortune cookie the other day. I had no idea I could get psychologist helps from this site too. Come on guys, I am asking basic questions of how to go about meeting someone. I have never believed in all that fortune teller ####### and never will. I am looking for advice and not a psycho analysis on what kind of person I am, or girl she is. To be honest I have been on this site for less than 24 hours and all this talk about who I should or should not date because her birthday falls on the year of the Rat (or some other rodent), has gotten me a little discouraged. I would talk to my Italian mother if I needed this advice on who to date. So far the site has lived up to it's nuthouse name, thanks Mox. ha ha

I am not trying to be rude here, but being honest. I realize this will be a hard, arduous journey, but if she's worth fighting for, then dammit I'll be on point.

So on a lighter note, I am perfectly happy with going to see her is Russia or Ukraine (or some place we both would not have a problem seeing each other), and we talked about it. I am definitely OK with it. Again, I believe she is worth it.

Edited September 26, 2009 by Chris M

[eekee 182]

I don't get all of this WAH WAH RUSSIA SUCKS talk.

[Neonred 3,569]

I went to visit my girl in her home town and I was very glad that I did. Got to see exactly how she lives and meet her friends, that are now our friends. For the last part of my first trip we went to Moscow together for a few days. It was a nice time site seeing together for both of us, and worked out well as I left directly from Moscow to return home and a few hours later she was able to leave and return to her home.

[Rob_Lesya 4]

Yes I do have her address and have sent her a few little things before. The other day Tanya told me she would need to travel to Moscow to go to the US or European embassy for the visas. I told her I was concerned about her traveling all this way to Moscow. She lives close to Kemerovo, Russia in Siberia. She told me "Yes Moscow is far, 4 hours of flight or 2,5 day by train.. But in comparison with distance between us... If it is necessary, I certainly shall overcome this journey." I would just be concerned for her during this long trip, so this would be another reason for me to do all the leg work in getting to see her.

I hate to ask this, but all the K-1 and Schengen tourist visa is new to me. I am quite a newbie too all this an honestly do not know what these are. I can do a search for them and figure them out, but when I say I am green.... I am green.

I guess in keeping with my original post about Tanya coming to the US for a visit, what should we do or expect? As another option. If she really wanted to come here or meet in Europe. Is there anything we should be doing other than getting applications together for the visa? Again.... quite green.

thank you all for your help.

Chris

I'm going to bite my tongue really, really hard in order to avoid responding to some of the absolutely ridiculous advice that's been given so far in this thread regarding conditions in Russia and how much more wonderful certain other destinations might be.

I simply want to add one fact that you and Tanya might not be aware of --- she doesn't necessarily have to travel all the way to Moscow to obtain a tourist visa. Kemerovo is one of the areas which has a choice of going to either Moscow or Ekaterinburg in order to apply for non-immigrant (i.e., tourist) visas. Ekaterinburg is much closer and might be a better choice for her if she were planning to travel by train. If you eventually apply for a K1 or some other visa to allow her to immigrate here, then she would have to apply in Moscow for that visa.

If you're serious about having a real relationship with this girl-- visit her in her hometown, meet her family, her friends, see how she lives. You'll have an entire lifetime in which to take vacations together.

[Chris M 1]

I'm going to bite my tongue really, really hard in order to avoid responding to some of the absolutely ridiculous advice that's been given so far in this thread regarding conditions in Russia and how much more wonderful certain other destinations might be.

I simply want to add one fact that you and Tanya might not be aware of --- she doesn't necessarily have to travel all the way to Moscow to obtain a tourist visa. Kemerovo is one of the areas which has a choice of going to either Moscow or Ekaterinburg in order to apply for non-immigrant (i.e., tourist) visas. Ekaterinburg is much closer and might be a better choice for her if she were planning to travel by train. If you eventually apply for a K1 or some other visa to allow her to immigrate here, then she would have to apply in Moscow for that visa.

If you're serious about having a real relationship with this girl-- visit her in her hometown, meet her family, her friends, see how she lives. You'll have an entire lifetime in which to take vacations together.

Thank you Rob. I think it has been determined that I will visit her there. I am excited to see her in Russia. Thank you for the advice on Ekaterinburg. I am not sure if she knew about this either. Thank you very much.

[mox 298]

I don't get all of this WAH WAH RUSSIA SUCKS talk.

Fortunately it's a small minority, but I don't understand it either. If my wife's country made me miserable, or if I held it in such low regard, I'd have looked elsewhere.

Sounds like Chris has made his mind up (for the better imho!), but for anyone who hasn't made the trip, don't let the naysayers talk you out of it. If you've ever been to Europe, Moscow is going to add only about 2-3 hours to your flight. Most places you'll be meeting with your girl add only another couple. Would you cancel a trip to Europe just because of the jet lag? (and it's been my experience that the jet lag is far worse when you get back anyway) As for crazy prices, weather, people, etc...well, it sure as heck isn't Kansas City, that's for sure. So yes, if you don't have an adventurous spirit and you need a Starbucks on every other corner opposite a TGI Fridays, then maybe Russia (or a Russian SO) isn't for you. But if you want a destination you'll remember for the rest of your life (whether or not it works out with the girl you're visiting) then go go go. You're going to be frustrated sometimes, maybe even outright angry (especially in the airports), and yes sometimes the weather sucks, but that's only a tiny part of the experience. You're also going to meet some of the most interesting (in many meanings of the word) people, see some of the most beautiful architecture and scenery, and hopefully revel in the experience that you are well and truly not in Kansas anymore.

[baron555 934]

I'm going to bite my tongue really, really hard in order to avoid responding to some of the absolutely ridiculous advice that's been given so far in this thread regarding conditions in Russia and how much more wonderful certain other destinations might be.

I simply want to add one fact that you and Tanya might not be aware of --- she doesn't necessarily have to travel all the way to Moscow to obtain a tourist visa. Kemerovo is one of the areas which has a choice of going to either Moscow or Ekaterinburg in order to apply for non-immigrant (i.e., tourist) visas. Ekaterinburg is much closer and might be a better choice for her if she were planning to travel by train. If you eventually apply for a K1 or some other visa to allow her to immigrate here, then she would have to apply in Moscow for that visa.

If you're serious about having a real relationship with this girl-- visit her in her hometown, meet her family, her friends, see how she lives. You'll have an entire lifetime in which to take vacations together.

Thank you Rob. I think it has been determined that I will visit her there. I am excited to see her in Russia. Thank you for the advice on Ekaterinburg. I am not sure if she knew about this either. Thank you very much.

Chris don't get discouraged by the harmless riff raff; all of these folks are actually very helpful. Sometimes their Russian Woman has to hit them over the head with a rolling pin and we suffer for a few days while their brains reset.

I agree on you going to visit her; or as I've suggested you two visit each other but somewhere over there.

Do you guys Skype? Alla and I have found that to be a God-send. Almost like being there. All signs you have mentioned point to a very real and nice relationship. Good luck. Phil

[visaveteran 1]

The RUB choirboys are singing again...they suffered so YOU suffer. It's a right of passage. Plus, it's required to pretend Russia is a great place to be sweet to the ladies. It is not great, and that is that. Unless, of course, you're a masochist.

Compared to most western Europe countries, Russia is not even in the same league. Let's face it, Russia is a harsh country run by a dictatorship and still operates on the old feudal system. Exploit the lowly citizens to better the life of the few wealthy...like in the USA only far worse. The living proof is the mass exodus of the Russian people to other places...especially the USA. I can't turn around without bumping into people from the FSU. With the current economic crisis, life in Russia, outside of it's two facade modern cities, life is brutal and costly. Food prices have shot up and it's worse each day. But according to the choirboys, Russia is mecca. reied peopl live on $100 a month...the cost of food for one week.

My judgment is most younger Russian women would prefer to meet in a nice place outside Russia, at least in the beginning. If you must go to Russia that leaves St. Petersburg. Avoid Moscow at all cost. If you simply must suffer the travails of long distance travel, meet her in Turkey. Just be prepared for boorish behavior from the local men when they see your girlfriend. They love Russian women...and consider them all potential whores.

FYI, Kemerovo is an outpost of the boondocks in Siberia. I would suggest avoiding that place unless you like bad roads, outhouses and wooden shack houses. The good news is "village girls" make the best wives, IMJ.

As to Mox suggesting loving a woman must be tied to loving her country, I simply say Bull! Some Russian women dislike the USA but endure it for various reasons...sometimes even for love. I endured Russia for the love a of good woman. I will not pretend otherwise or join the choirboys club.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

The RUB choirboys are singing again...they suffered so YOU suffer. It's a right of passage. Plus, it's required to pretend Russia is a great place to be sweet to the ladies. It is not great, and that is that. Unless, of course, you're a masochist.

Compared to most western Europe countries, Russia is not even in the same league. Let's face it, Russia is a harsh country run by a dictatorship and still operates on the old feudal system. Exploit the lowly citizens to better the life of the few wealthy...like in the USA only far worse. The living proof is the mass exodus of the Russian people to other places...especially the USA. I can't turn around without bumping into people from the FSU. With the current economic crisis, life in Russia, outside of it's two facade modern cities, life is brutal and costly. Food prices have shot up and it's worse each day. But according to the choirboys, Russia is mecca. reied peopl live on $100 a month...the cost of food for one week.

My judgment is most younger Russian women would prefer to meet in a nice place outside Russia, at least in the beginning. If you must go to Russia that leaves St. Petersburg. Avoid Moscow at all cost. If you simply must suffer the travails of long distance travel, meet her in Turkey. Just be prepared for boorish behavior from the local men when they see your girlfriend. They love Russian women...and consider them all potential whores.

FYI, Kemerovo is an outpost of the boondocks in Siberia. I would suggest avoiding that place unless you like bad roads, outhouses and wooden shack houses. The good news is "village girls" make the best wives, IMJ.

As to Mox suggesting loving a woman must be tied to loving her country, I simply say Bull! Some Russian women dislike the USA but endure it for various reasons...sometimes even for love. I endured Russia for the love a of good woman. I will not pretend otherwise or join the choirboys club.

I disagree with you regarding Turkey. Of course, you must choose the hotel carefully, but no Turkish man has ever disrespected my companion. The only one who tried quickly abandoned his effort after I made it clear that I was not playing games and was not going to allow him to disrespect my girl.

I also agree to avoid Moscow if you can and be ready for anything if you venture outside St. Petersburg and/or Moscow. Carry a few $10 bills in case you must bribe the police. Any trip inside Russia should be treated like an adventure.

And I have not been there, but I have been told that Egypt is also a great place to enjoy a vacation with a Russian lady. However, I was also told that Sharm-El_Sheik is civilized while women are harassed in Hurgada.

And don't get me wrong. I have been to Russia (many cities) multiple times, and I would go again if my SO asks me to do it, but if I have a saying, I will prefer bringing her parents here before I go there to see them. I am not a believer that going to her city to see "how she lives" is such a great thing.

But everyybody has a choice. We are all just writing our personal opinions. Taste has many shades of grey.

Edited September 27, 2009 by clueless_in_usa

[mox 298]

The RUB choirboys are singing again...they suffered so YOU suffer. It's a right of passage. Plus, it's required to pretend Russia is a great place to be sweet to the ladies. It is not great, and that is that. Unless, of course, you're a masochist.

Speaking for myself, and I'm guessing many others, I certainly didn't suffer. But I guess it all boils down to personal opinion and experiences. I've been to Philadelphia, and absolutely hated it. I'll never go back (especially in the summer) if I can at all help it, but if somebody were explaining how interesting a visit to Philadelphia could be, I certainly wouldn't lambast somebody for encouraging a visit.

Compared to most western Europe countries, Russia is not even in the same league. Let's face it, Russia is a harsh country run by a dictatorship and still operates on the old feudal system. Exploit the lowly citizens to better the life of the few wealthy...like in the USA only far worse. The living proof is the mass exodus of the Russian people to other places...especially the USA. I can't turn around without bumping into people from the FSU. With the current economic crisis, life in Russia, outside of it's two facade modern cities, life is brutal and costly. Food prices have shot up and it's worse each day. But according to the choirboys, Russia is mecca. reied peopl live on $100 a month...the cost of food for one week.

My judgment is most younger Russian women would prefer to meet in a nice place outside Russia, at least in the beginning. If you must go to Russia that leaves St. Petersburg. Avoid Moscow at all cost. If you simply must suffer the travails of long distance travel, meet her in Turkey. Just be prepared for boorish behavior from the local men when they see your girlfriend. They love Russian women...and consider them all potential whores.

lol. I'll let ekee handle this one if she even wants to dignify it with a response. But you forgot to mention the mile long bread lines (uphill, in the snow, both ways), the bears roaming through the streets, and the poor people being shot as they claw their way over the Berlin wall.

As to Mox suggesting loving a woman must be tied to loving her country, I simply say Bull! Some Russian women dislike the USA but endure it for various reasons...sometimes even for love. I endured Russia for the love a of good woman. I will not pretend otherwise or join the choirboys club.

I stated that as my personal opinion, not that it's a necessity. If you can love your SO without at least having respect for her country and heritage, good for you. I can't do that. Kudos for "not pretend[ing]" though, especially (presumably) to your SO. Whatever yours or anyone's feelings, it's important they know exactly what they're getting into. If she accepts your views on her culture and homeland, then it sounds like you're going to both continue to be very happy together. That's the important thing.

[BluesTraveler 0]

If my wife's country made me miserable, or if I held it in such low regard, I'd have looked elsewhere.

So yes, if you don't have an adventurous spirit and you need a Starbucks on every other corner opposite a TGI Fridays,

Does Pitcairn Islands have a Starbucks or TGIF? Had your wife ever seen coffee before?

I have nothing bad to say about the Pitcairn Islands but I think everyone is related there, kinda like some states in the US that should remain nameless.

[mox 298]

If my wife's country made me miserable, or if I held it in such low regard, I'd have looked elsewhere.

So yes, if you don't have an adventurous spirit and you need a Starbucks on every other corner opposite a TGI Fridays,

Does Pitcairn Islands have a Starbucks or TGIF? Had your wife ever seen coffee before?

I have nothing bad to say about the Pitcairn Islands but I think everyone is related there, kinda like some states in the US that should remain nameless.

The rumor that everybody is related to each other on Pitcairn is a downright lie. There's a dude who works at the gas station originally from Fiji. And besides, my bride had her tail surgically removed right after she got here, and other than her very large prominent forehead, bulging eyes, cleft chin, cleft palate, cleft orbital ridges, and "the shine," you can't really tell that she's her own second cousin at all.

There used to be a Starbucks on Pitcairn, but Dewey and Smitty (the Dewey and Smitty who live over yonder down Pig Knuckle Ravine, not the Dewey and Smitty from Frothy Nipple Cove) got pretty liquored up on "Old Jellyfish" (don't ask) one night, and (long story short) what used to be a Starbucks is now the fifty seventh largest hazardous waste disposal site in the Pacific Ocean. We're pretty proud of that, especially since the island of nation of Chuuk got knocked down to fifty eighth. Suck barnacles, Chuuk WE'RE NUMBER FIFTY SEVEN BEEYOTCHES!!!!!!!!

[Neonred 3,569]

Last couple of weeks I was in Australia. At one point over a couple of Australian beers my Sydneysider friend in conversation, for some reason I can't remember now, mentioned Pitcairn Islands. Thanks to Mox I was (slightly) familiar with the area and didn't look like a total "wanker". Thanks Mox!

[mox 298]

Last couple of weeks I was in Australia. At one point over a couple of Australian beers my Sydneysider friend in conversation, for some reason I can't remember now, mentioned Pitcairn Islands. Thanks to Mox I was (slightly) familiar with the area and didn't look like a total "wanker". Thanks Mox!

LOL! Glad I could help.

[eekee 182]

Not everybody is going to like Russia. I personally like it a hundred times more than Western Europe. But regardless of whether you personally like it, it's important to understand where someone is coming from if you're planning on marrying them.