converting - or not

[morocco4ever 63]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

[Majid_Anna 0]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

I'm with you! One is going to be enough for him...trust me...lol.

[morocco4ever 63]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

I'm with you! One is going to be enough for him...trust me...lol.

The price they pay to marry us.

[Ihavequestions 419]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

[ya falaha! 0]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

[morocco4ever 63]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

Was I hating on you? I'm sorry for what ever is giving you grief today.

[Ihavequestions 419]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

Was I hating on you? I'm sorry for what ever is giving you grief today.

Of course not; you're not a hater. You just said the segue into the topic.

[Staashi 371]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

How about an annulment or divorce? You seem very, very depressed by your situation. Why suffer? Just sayin'.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

How about an annulment or divorce? You seem very, very depressed by your situation. Why suffer? Just sayin'.

I dont get whats going on, but I hope it gets better for you. really.

[Nothing1234 2]

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Unless they marry a western woman that won't agree to him taking more than one wife.

Not necessarily.

Moreover, evidently it's okay to not let your PRACTICING, FAITHFUL, CHRISTIAN WIFE have her faith if another wife is good for him.

That's where I'm at in my visa journey. Don't hate on me. I'm not in the mood.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I have never thought about converting and hubby doesnt really care. I do not practice organized religion and like Jenn, if I did convert it would be a lie. I don't agree with many parts of Islam (hijab, inheritance, etc) and I dont like the cultural do's and dont's of Islamic people in the Middle East. I dont believe that it is right to convert unless you are 110% faithful to the religion.

Hubby is Muslim, but that only goes so far. He is probably the worst example of one, but that is fine by me. We both believe in God, and have faith that we will leave earth one day and find eachother in heaven and thats all that matters.

I am Christian and my husband is Muslim. While we were courting Ahmed and I talked about ours faiths and Ahmed told me he didnt want me to convert. He fell in love with me as a Christian woman and if I converted it would take a part of me away. As for me, I dont fell the need to convert, we both worship the same God. We just a have different ways of doing it.

You don't believe that Jesus is God?

I'm not taking a swipe at you, Sofiyya. Really, I'm not. Your question just prompted a need to say something here.

Is Jesus God? Well, that sort of begs the question, "Are there 99 Gods?" yeah? If someone - particularly someones who refer to kindrid spirits as "brother" and "sister" - can wrap their heads around the idea that God has 99 personality characteristics or attributes or whatever you want to call them other than NAMES, they most certainly should be able to GET that one God can have multiple dimensions - specifically Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Sheesh. What's so hard about that? Maybe this is just my experience (and it likely is), but I've found the patience and tolerance comes from those who have converted, not so much from those that always were - and that goes both ways Muslim -> Christian, Christian -> Muslim.

Your post not only doesn't answer my question, but seems to infer that I am impatient and intolerant. ????

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Since they can't marry non-Muslim men, I imagine some would get really upset that the pool of possible husbands was being de-populated - what better way to put an end to it than to scare the ####### outta people.

As Sofiyya said, they can marry men who aren't Muslim, they just don't know it because they've been told differently.

Also, Muslim men can marry as many as four women so the eligible male population isn't shrinking at all.

Something Muslim men haven't been told is that the permission for multiple marriage is limited and does not begin with a belief that one can treat them equitably. The context of the directive goes far beyond the ayat that mentions multiple marriage. The ayat was revealed during the battles against the Muslims. It refers to widows and orphans who had lost their guardian and needed protection, not to women in general. It limits the number of wives to four in contrast to the pre-Islamic practice of unlimited wives. The surah, Al Nisa (The Women), also relates the punishments for abusing these women and misappropriating their property.

Prior to this revelation, women were treated as the spoils of battle, enslaved and raped, yes, even by the Muslims. This ayah, and its related laws, require Muslim men to marry them, treat them equitably, and to manage their assets in the best manner. This collection in no way permits Muslim men to marry multiple wives for their pleasure, for it is clear that the intent is to provide moral guardianship, justice and protection for them. In fact, the Quran states that it is impossible for a man to be equitable among several wives, that it is best to marry only one, and to find a way to provide for the women in another way.

Even the Prophet (pbuh) had difficulty with multiple wives. He had only one until he was in his 50s. Allah actually admonishes him in Surah 66 for violation of His Word, and also his wives, for causing mischief:

66:1 O Prophet! Why holdest thou to be forbidden that which Allah has made lawful to thee? Thou seekest to please thy consorts. But Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Allah recognizes human fallibilty and says that men are weak and want to take advantage. Islam was set to make them stronger, but, unfortunately, the persistant teaching that Muslim men have a God-gven "right" to marry multiple wives at will is a prurient display of a jahilyya weakness.

Edited October 7, 2009 by Sofiyya

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I know of lots of Muslim women are or were married to non-Muslim men. I was born Muslim and Arab and was married to a Christian man for close to 30 years. Frankly, most Muslim women who wouldn't marry a non-Muslim man wouldn't want one who would marry a non-Muslim woman.

Sofiyya,

I can see that - makes sense in a way. Just curious (you don't have to share if you don't want, of course) if you had to deal with attitude for marrying a Christian. I heard that's strongly discouraged for Muslim women (not the men, though).

One reason this interests me is that my sister married a "black" man, and got some attitude about it from "black" women, who were upset about her (we're "white") taking one of 'their' men.

I think it's sad that so many people have the "us" and "them" mentality. We're all just humans, regardless of all those things that seem to worry so many of us (race, religion, looks, background, culture, whatever). It always bothered me how it's handled, but even more so now that I'm in what many would label a "mixed marriage". All the things that some feel will be the downfall of our marriage (I'm European white, raised Christian; he's a Muslim Arab, and looks 'darker') have not in the least affected our relationship negatively. Like many, we've had our adjustment issues, but they've been due to a new country for him - new way of life, new 'rules'.

Peace to all.

Sure, there was attitude galore, but it came from other Muslims, mostly men, who were very offended that I didn't feel a need to be spiritually guided by a Muslim man. They also related that women who married out were defiled and rendered impure by any sexual relations with a non-Muslim man. Since they do not see such marriages as legitimate, their sex intimacy is also illegitimate.

It's not an uncommon attitude that non-Muslim women are fair game for unmarried sex, as they are not considered by some to be believers, so some men project that view onto non-Muslim men, seeing them as sexual pedators in relation to Muslim women. It surprised me how often that was the argument against interfaith marriage for Muslim women, considering that the scholarly taboo is so weakly supported.

My first husband was very cool about it, tho, as he had grown up in the ME among Muslims and was able to allay some of the concerns as someone quite knowledable about Islam himself. MENA Muslims and Christians are more alike than not, and moreso than they are like non-MENA Muslims and Christians. Culture often trumped religion in that the two are so entwined.

As far as White women with Black men, I kinda feel for the sisters. Surveys and census numbers indicate mixing between Black men and White women far outnumber mixing for Black women outside of their race. Studies have shown that the least desirable partners for decades have been Asian men and Black women. "Yellow fever" has favored Asian women and "Jungle fever" has favored Black men. Hopefully, things will change.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I have never thought about converting and hubby doesnt really care. I do not practice organized religion and like Jenn, if I did convert it would be a lie. I don't agree with many parts of Islam (hijab, inheritance, etc) and I dont like the cultural do's and dont's of Islamic people in the Middle East. I dont believe that it is right to convert unless you are 110% faithful to the religion.

Hubby is Muslim, but that only goes so far. He is probably the worst example of one, but that is fine by me. We both believe in God, and have faith that we will leave earth one day and find eachother in heaven and thats all that matters.

I am Christian and my husband is Muslim. While we were courting Ahmed and I talked about ours faiths and Ahmed told me he didnt want me to convert. He fell in love with me as a Christian woman and if I converted it would take a part of me away. As for me, I dont fell the need to convert, we both worship the same God. We just a have different ways of doing it.

You don't believe that Jesus is God?

I'm not taking a swipe at you, Sofiyya. Really, I'm not. Your question just prompted a need to say something here.

Is Jesus God? Well, that sort of begs the question, "Are there 99 Gods?" yeah? If someone - particularly someones who refer to kindrid spirits as "brother" and "sister" - can wrap their heads around the idea that God has 99 personality characteristics or attributes or whatever you want to call them other than NAMES, they most certainly should be able to GET that one God can have multiple dimensions - specifically Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Sheesh. What's so hard about that? Maybe this is just my experience (and it likely is), but I've found the patience and tolerance comes from those who have converted, not so much from those that always were - and that goes both ways Muslim -> Christian, Christian -> Muslim.

Your post not only doesn't answer my question, but seems to infer that I am impatient and intolerant. ????

I said I wasn't poking at you. Maybe you missed that part.