converting - or not

[venusfire503 54]

I have never thought about converting and hubby doesnt really care. I do not practice organized religion and like Jenn, if I did convert it would be a lie. I don't agree with many parts of Islam (hijab, inheritance, etc) and I dont like the cultural do's and dont's of Islamic people in the Middle East. I dont believe that it is right to convert unless you are 110% faithful to the religion.

Hubby is Muslim, but that only goes so far. He is probably the worst example of one, but that is fine by me. We both believe in God, and have faith that we will leave earth one day and find eachother in heaven and thats all that matters.

ZaidsMommy,

I love your post! Jenn and you both said it right - it would be a lie to convert without really feeling it. And you brought up something my husband and I discussed. If you're born into a religion, it's like you're "allowed" to follow it the way you want, but if you convert - which means "picking" the religion - then you kind of have to follow it very strictly. I guess that's why I am where I am. I do love parts of Islam, but know that I don't feel it 100%, so converting would be wrong for me. I guess I want to "have my cake and eat it too"?

My husband isn't overly strict with following his religion either, which is one thing I think makes our relationship much easier than some expect it to be - "some" being those who think people of different religions can't make it work. Um - not saying that religion ruins marriages! Just that both of us being the way we are has resulted in fewer adjustments in certain areas.

Kind of off the topic, but I've noticed that SO many people who give dire warnings about "inter-whatever" relationships are most often those not IN those types of relationships and therefore have NO idea what they're talking about.... (like certain relatives of mine who lectured my sisters endlessly about their black boyfriends - now husbands - about all these problems that the sisters and their children haven't encountered after all!)

Anyway, back to your post - I also really love what you said at the end about believing in God, and finding each other in heaven.

Maybe that's the reason I felt compelled to post this thread - hearing what people have to say about it helps me put my thoughts into words. Also, it seems I'm going through something right now that I can't describe very well (thinking alot - mental growth spurt? haha). Unfortunately for me, I really don't have anyone other than my husband that I feel comfortable talking with about this. It's kind of funny - I've heard that MENA forum women have the reputation of being argumentative and getting threads closed, but I don't see it. I really feel 'safer' discussing things here than with my offline friends and family members!

I thank all of you for that!

venusfire

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

also, to add: my sister is christian and married to a muslim man. She has no desire to convert bcz she is a Christian. She and her husband love each other alot and they both respect the fact that each other lives as they believe.

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm sorry but this is way too civil!!! Usually these threads involve LOTS of popcorn.

[venusfire503 54]

Im going to throw in my thoughts for a moment to you VenusFire. You can choose not to smoke, drink, curse, fast, pray, dress modest, ect... these things are not dependant on only being a muslim person. Im a christian and choose to live by those standards. GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves.

Tamara, that is VERY true. The message just came through to me better from my husband than from anyone or anywhere else in the past. Not saying it's because he's Muslim. I grew up only knowing about Catholicism, and am happy I now get to see another viewpoint. I guess that's kind of my point - it's good for me to look outside of the little world I was born into. It can make things a little confusing at times, but I also feel that it teaches me alot. Just like when I was friends with people who are Jewish - I learned new things. Agreed with some, but not others - for example, I thought it made sense when the one guy explained how he was taught it's the right thing to do to feed his dog before sitting down to eat (seems logical AND practical), but I don't feel that it's necessary for me to keep separate sets of cooking equipment for meat and dairy (or that it's wrong to eat a cheeseburger). My husband was taught to fast during Ramadan, I was taught to semi-fast during Lent. My family didn't bother to say grace (although I know many if not most Christians do), but my husband says a prayer before eating, driving, etc - and that makes sense to me. So I'm taking what makes sense to me about Christianity, and what makes sense to me from Islam, and what makes sense to me from other places (life experiences, things I hear, etc) and NOT taking what doesn't make sense to me, and applying that to my life. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was saying that any one religion was "right" or "wrong" or "better".

Anyway, for whatever reason, my husband says things in a way that make sense to me. He's helped me in many ways, such as giving me confidence in myself. I'm sure part of it is his religion, part of it the way his parents taught/treated him, part his personality... all sorts of reasons. I'm just getting input and processing it all.

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

I'm sorry but this is way too civil!!! Usually these threads involve LOTS of popcorn.

Doodlebugg,

I'm also pleasantly surprised and relieved about that. Hey - we can have popcorn anyway... I've actually been on a popcorn kick lately, just without the drama.

venusfire

[sara..... 371]

venusfire

the only thing that i can say with full honesty to u is its never right to convert to any religion to please ur husband or his parents or because its expected of u.

I am Muslim and there are many many Christians that i personally know that are very committed to God, and live the life of a Christian fully..........

I'm sure that many people will not agree with me but i feel that all religions if believed and practiced lead to God.......

If anyone has doubts about their religion or feel there is something missing then they should explore other religions, at one point in time i explored other religions but nothing felt right to me other than Islam, this does not in my opinion mean that others stand with my convections of the right religion of course all Muslims wish that all other religions would accept Islam and like all religions we feel ours is the only correct religion...........

anyways just my opinion

sara

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm sorry but this is way too civil!!! Usually these threads involve LOTS of popcorn.

Doodlebugg,

I'm also pleasantly surprised and relieved about that. Hey - we can have popcorn anyway... I've actually been on a popcorn kick lately, just without the drama.

venusfire

I can only eat toast and gingerale lately but I'll enjoy it virtually!

I'm too lazy to write my story and you can't search that far back anymore on here but I wanted to just say that I love what you said about learning about a different world than what you were born into. It was never even a second thought to anyone in my family to look outside the Catholic church. It just wasn't done! Even two of my siblings who left the church a long time ago never thought of looking for an alternative. I'm very grateful that my children have been able to experience Catholicsim, Islam, Judaism and some of the Protestant faiths whether it be directly or through camps they've attended or through friends at school. I want them to be able to make a choice when they are ready that is 100% theirs and not one that is forced on them like it was me. I can remember having to sign a document when I was confirmed and going to my parents saying "this states that it needs to be of my own choice but I don't know anything else" and my mom responding, "just sign it Bridget". lol. No, "lets sit down and I'll tell you what else is out there" or "what would you like to know about other options". I mean even branching out and telling me about Lutherism would have been nice!

[New Beginnings 32]

Religion was seen more as a chore for my family growing up than something that betters you. We actually stopped attending when I was very young. I found my religion and was confirmed when I was 20. It allowed me to really understand what I was basically getting myself into.

[Sandrila 1]

I was raised both Catholic and Lutheran. However over the years I have abandoned any formal religious practicing and have taken in as much as I can about various religions.

Hubby is Muslim but he doesn't practice by attending the mosque or praying 5x a day.

I am not a convert and I do not plan to.

Hubby does not pressure in any way for me to convert or dress accordingly but I do respect who he is and where he came from. I like learning as much as I can about both his culture and Islam.

[New Beginnings 32]

I was raised both Catholic and Lutheran. However over the years I have abandoned any formal religious practicing and have taken in as much as I can about various religions.

Hubby is Muslim but he doesn't practice by attending the mosque or praying 5x a day.

I am not a convert and I do not plan to.

Hubby does not pressure in any way for me to convert or dress accordingly but I do respect who he is and where he came from. I like learning as much as I can about both his culture and Islam.

I completely agree. My husband learned all about my religion and I have learned about his. Religion is something important to us both so to understand each other we need to understand each religion

[venusfire503 54]

I love these posts!

Yes, I think that is kind of what it is - 'my' religion just doesn't fit me, and I really didn't think much about it for many years. Being around my husband, who loves being Muslim, and being reminded that God should be more a part of my life got me thinking about it alot. I even resorted to taking (gasp) an online quiz that is supposed to show you which religions most match your personal beliefs. I read through the brief description of my "top" ones, but nothing really fits. I guess I could just accept not being a member of any one religion, but keep learning and thinking (imagine that!) to figure out where I am...

It does make sense, though - I kind of lost myself after all those years of being nothing but a wife and mother - two noble roles, but I wasn't "me" anymore. Well, my ex didn't appreciate me either, so that was more or less a waste anyway.

After all of that (divorce and everything), I found myself in my own personal "visa journey". It's a good thing in the end, but really throws everything into a spin, as you all know. We've adjusted to things, so now it seems that religion is more on my mind than before.

venusfire

[Dostoievski 0]

" GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves."

I don't believe in "Gods" and i still love and treat others how i want to be treated...

Modesty, Truth, Love , Compassion and Respect ...are the values of Non Believers also...

Have a nice day.

Salah Eddine

[Dostoievski 0]

" GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves."

I don't believe in "Gods" and i still love and treat others how i want to be treated...

Modesty, Truth, Love , Compassion and Respect ...are the values of Non Believers also...

Have a nice day.

Salah Eddine

[sandinista! 1,816]

" GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves."

I don't believe in "Gods" and i still love and treat others how i want to be treated...

Modesty, Truth, Love , Compassion and Respect ...are the values of Non Believers also...

Have a nice day.

Salah Eddine

defensive much? no one has said that those aren't values non-believers can hold as well. but thank you for sharing.

[Dostoievski 0]

" GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves."

I don't believe in "Gods" and i still love and treat others how i want to be treated...

Modesty, Truth, Love , Compassion and Respect ...are the values of Non Believers also...

Have a nice day.

Salah Eddine

defensive much? no one has said that those aren't values non-believers can hold as well. but thank you for sharing.

Bonjour,

I made my comments after reading TamaraLovesAdam 's Post , today ,07:54 AM : "

Im going to throw in my thoughts for a moment to you VenusFire. You can choose not to smoke, drink, curse, fast, pray, dress modest, ect... these things are not dependant on only being a muslim person. Im a christian and choose to live by those standards. GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves.

"

I am not in defensive...I am in peace now sharing with you a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon wine