How to deal with missing your fiance?

[jwk2003 3]

Hi everyone!

I have been living with my fiance for almost a year and soon I will have to return to my hometown and wait for the k-1 approval.

Does anyone have any tips on how you spend your time away from the one you love?How do you make time go faster when you're missing someone bad?

Hello Marlies and james. The best thing to keep the relationship healthy and not get bogged down by time is to keep up communication and make sure that you stay busy. I talk to my fiancee every chance I get via Skype using a webcam and headset. I also have two jobs, going to school full time, and sometimes hang out with my friends while still spending at least 10 hours a week talking my fiancee. You know what? five months went like poof! However, I know I'm going to lose the part time job once my fiancee gets here.

[kizza 1]

Violent physical exercise.

Of course, my philosophy is: "If I'm healthy enough to exercise, I'm healthy enough NOT to," si man.

HAHAHA!! Love your philosophy!!

[kizza 1]

I think being the benificiary is very different from being the petitioner's because the petitioner will be the one leaving his or her world behind.

So investing time and money to make changes around the house is obviously not something I want to be doing. But I have been sorting through my things getting rid of stuff (giving or throwing out), firguring out what I absolutely want to bring over there.

I try to spend a lot of time with my family and friends. Enjoy time in my home town because I will miss it. Enjoy the good cheeses and good chocolate!! : ) Oh and the bread and pastries!! geeeez I will miss those when Im in the US.

Talking about pastries and delicious eclairs au chocolat, I will start working out, next week. Lose that flubber around my belly for the wedding and mainly, the honeymoon!! I have registered to a ceramic class that will start Monday - a hobby will keep my mind busy for a few hours, and its 10 weeks, so we SHOULD be close to being approved by the end of it. I rent French movies as the selection is narrower over there and my honey doesnt understand French yet.

I try to work a lot - and save money. Get all my stuff in order. Take care of loose ends.

Of course, I talk to my man everyday. Love skype. Text. Email his mom with updates and his brother, who wants to help with the wedding preps and cheers me up when Im down.

And also, go crazy, pull my hair, cry, mope around, feel sorry for myself, annoy people with details about my file... Check VJ 10 times a day for more info.

[Aubrey 10]

My husband and I did K-1, and we Skyped every day and found online games to play together. There are lots of them out there for free. I can recommend some websites if you're interested (send me a PM). Even with that, it's normal to cry and feel pain about being apart, even when you are getting to talk to each other and see each other through the cam every day. It's just not the same as being together, and it's okay to feel bad as long as you don't let it become the only feeling.

When you're not spending that time with your fiancé, try to keep busy. The busier I was, the easier it was to get through the time, and the same for him. Ask for extra hours at work (if you work), or ask your family/friends if they need help on a project around the house. Learn how to do something new and practice, or start exercising outdoors or at the gym. The easiest time for me was when I was so busy I could barely have time for sleep and see my man.

Best wishes and hang in there. It's not easy, but hopefully you picked the right person and it'll all be worth it in the end. I know my husband and I cherish every day together in a way that most other couples can't understand.

[-Cinnamon- 0]

Keep the faith burnin.

God bless us. xoxo

[Francksgirl 0]

Everones ideas are awesome...but when you separate from each other...buy tons of Kleenex. I was never a crier. Cried once a year...when we have to say goodbye it's just awful. When I had to come from seeing him for 9 days in Paris....I cried the whole 9 hour flight. The guy next to me probably thought I was nuts! Some days are ok...me I'm just empty without him here. He spent 89 days with me this past summer! It was awesome. But the goodbye was tough once again. I just feel lost alllllll the time. we chat on gmail...email each other..talk about 2 hours or mord a day. I work full time so with the time difference we talk as much as we can. Also do skype once a week... Wish it was more. Just keep busy...cuz it makes the time go by faster. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. It just sucks being apart! Good luck

[amykathleen2005 441]

Everones ideas are awesome...but when you separate from each other...buy tons of Kleenex. I was never a crier. Cried once a year...when we have to say goodbye it's just awful. When I had to come from seeing him for 9 days in Paris....I cried the whole 9 hour flight. The guy next to me probably thought I was nuts! Some days are ok...me I'm just empty without him here. He spent 89 days with me this past summer! It was awesome. But the goodbye was tough once again. I just feel lost alllllll the time. we chat on gmail...email each other..talk about 2 hours or mord a day. I work full time so with the time difference we talk as much as we can. Also do skype once a week... Wish it was more. Just keep busy...cuz it makes the time go by faster. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. It just sucks being apart! Good luck

I cry on the flights too. In fact, my fiance and I decided against another visit (among other reasons) between the NOA1 and the interview because the good bye is so horrible. Its a bit easier to get used to the idea and take it day by day then to say goodbye and have about a month of just feeling sad and horrible.....

[thongd4me 69]

The ISC also has a chat feature (on the command line) that displays right next to

the board, so you can have additional info there (including the date) that shows

more about your relationship.

[thongd4me 69]

The ISC also has a chat feature (on the command line) that displays right next to

the board, so you can have additional info there (including the date) that shows

more about your relationship.

I forgot that with fast reply this "PS" (above) was not connected to my previous post, shown as follows:

ISC - The Internet Scrabble Club

This is kind of funny because I used to spend many hours playing scrabble online with total

strangers (many of whom became casual but not serious friends). When I started chatting

daily with my SO/beneficiary I just dropped that because I couldn't devote time to that.

She won and scrabble lost.

Recently I re-joined the ISC and she joined for the first time. I still play other people

but mostly it's with her. On every trip to Thailand we played scrabble in English in real

life but I never thought to bring it online until recently and I knew exactly where to go.

I've taken many screen shots of our completed games to add a new kind of evidence

which supports the idea of us spending time together and also her knowledge of English.

She is not unique, because Thais are world-famous for being scrabble-crazy and some Thais

have even dominated world championships in scrabble against native English speakers.

On every one of the games that I took screen shots of, I used the command "date" to display

the current date and time in the chat window that accompanies the online scrabble board.

When you click on this link you may think this is an amateurish application because it

looks like a text based/DOS program. That's because it originally was. It's very powerful

when you use the commands instead of the menu-driven system. It's not as graphic as

many other programs but it makes up for that in many other ways. You can click and type

to lay down tiles in a row in either direction or you can drag the tiles from the tray.

There are a number of internationally approved dictionaries to use and you can choose

the various challenge options or just have every word validated automatically or it can't be played.

You can either open yourself for a challenge according to certain criteria you set or you can

seek others who offer challenges according to their criteria (then you have to play by their rules).

An amazing tool for finding a game is their challenge graph which shows every challenge as

a dot on a graph. Your dot will appear further to the right if the game time you request is

longer and higher from the bottom if your rating is higher. You seek other games according

to game time and strength of opponent.

Ratings change automatically after every game and you can ignore or report other players

as they can do to you. You can observe highly rated games or observe any game in progress

(with their permission of course).

Like VJ, they have a great group of moderator volunteers. And it's FREE

Internet Scrabble Club - English, French, Romanian Italian & Dutch languages are enabled

[AFweatherguy 0]

Great ideas by everyone. Keep busy and keep in touch. The internet has been our best friend keeping in touch. We try to spend as much quality time as possible online chatting or playing games. I also recently got a sling box, which allows my finance to watch my television online. It probably sounds weird, but we find it nice to be able to watch a TV show or movie together. It also helps that I am planning a trip to the PI So that we can spend our first Christmas together.

[j0hn&jh0y 0]

man!!!! nothing u can really do!!!

[Carolina+James 1]

Skype and online games is what we do to try to shoo the sadness away. He also reads for me on Skype, as we used to read together during the time we spent together in US.

Yes, for those that are doing the move (like me, going from Brazil to US), spend time getting rid of things you won't take with you and trying to enjoy the last months living in your town can help. Exercises are a good thing too, I go walking 6 days/week around downtown here, since I dislike gyms and well, saves money too. Read books and bake cakes, try to learn some recipes from my mother to take with me.

My fiance works, uses Skype, online games and reads with me, and is learning how to play the bass. Also organizing the house slowlly so that my two luggage of clothes fit there, rearranging furniture and is planning to paint the house.

[Melody + Richard 0]

Hey, i have sent you a message about how we are dealing with all this.

If there is no way that might work, i agree with carolina+james.

Skype all the way. we purchased their unlimited world service and can call each other

pretty much unlimitedly for $10/month.

Or, when you're both logged on at a computer it's completely free, even with camera.