September 2009 Filers! CSC

[kizza 1]

We are planning a June 5th wedding. We are having it in my parents garden because it's absolutely beautiful with the blooming flowers and the pond that they have. I reserved a tent and tables and all that and just basically said to the rental company that THAT is the date we are shooting for but it's all up to immigration. They said that I can change the date as long as I give them notice of the change. I think planning a July 3rd wedding is deff. within the realm of possibility. A lot of it just depends on what embassy you will eventually be having your interview at!

Congrats on the NOA2. It's exciting to know that people are slowly but surely being approved!

that sounds lovely!!

[kizza 1]

Well my fience is Thai and in Thailand you can have a wedding party and not regester the marrage it is very common so we will do that with a big party and all there for her family and friends ( beside wedding are nice but it is more for the girl than the guys IMO) I am hoping that her visa is done then and she will be able to come back here with me but if not we will have to wait. Then our legal marrage will take place in the 90 day time frame in our backyard. I found something cool and here in my county in CA you can take a 45min class and you are certified to marry 1 couple on 1 day so one of my friend will preform the marrage in the backyard with my family and a few close friends and then we will just BBQ some steaks!! Nice and easy my kind of wedding.

That is if we can get that far. I am stressing about this visa stuff and now my girl is mad at me about something I am not really sure what but I think she will cool off in a day or so. I really think she is stressing over planning the wedding there and trying to make her parents and family happy and proud. I am trying to be understanding and give her some space. Like I said weddings are girls things we(guys) are just there for the ride so I am going along with whatever she wants as long as we can afford it but damm sometimes I dont understand women ( most of the time)! Sorry to get off topic I needed to vent a little and I hope I didnt upset anyone.

I hope things smooth over soon. Im sure they will. It is such a stressful process to start with, Im sure planning a wedding just adds to it.

One little word of advice though, not to add to the confusion, but sometimes when men think a woman needs some space... it's just not what she wants! hehehe. But you're the one who knows your girl, so I could be off track completely. just saying...

Yeah... the opposite sex will always remain a mystery I think.

[rosa thomson 0]

well I just got told by my man that if I continue to party with my girlfriends I won't have a husband in 6 months (this is guy who is a nightclub promoter in vegas and gets paid to host and party with girls 4 nights a week)....I mean what does he expect me to do on the weekends sit at home and watch dvds...not cool at all...

[jkminney 30]

well I just got told by my man that if I continue to party with my girlfriends I won't have a husband in 6 months (this is guy who is a nightclub promoter in vegas and gets paid to host and party with girls 4 nights a week)....I mean what does he expect me to do on the weekends sit at home and watch dvds...not cool at all...

I always find it funny when people want the person they are with to change who they were when you met. I've been in that spot before...be cautious. If you have always gone out with your girlfriends then why would it now be a problem?

[kizza 1]

well I just got told by my man that if I continue to party with my girlfriends I won't have a husband in 6 months (this is guy who is a nightclub promoter in vegas and gets paid to host and party with girls 4 nights a week)....I mean what does he expect me to do on the weekends sit at home and watch dvds...not cool at all...

I always find it funny when people want the person they are with to change who they were when you met. I've been in that spot before...be cautious. If you have always gone out with your girlfriends then why would it now be a problem?

... yeah... Im never a fan of double standards either.

Edited December 12, 2009 by kizza

[rosa thomson 0]

well I just got told by my man that if I continue to party with my girlfriends I won't have a husband in 6 months (this is guy who is a nightclub promoter in vegas and gets paid to host and party with girls 4 nights a week)....I mean what does he expect me to do on the weekends sit at home and watch dvds...not cool at all...

I always find it funny when people want the person they are with to change who they were when you met. I've been in that spot before...be cautious. If you have always gone out with your girlfriends then why would it now be a problem?

... yeah... Im never a fan of double standards either.

especially when these will be last few months in australia forever, no naturally I want to enjoy the time I have left with my friends..ahh the joys of a long distance relationship..i will be so happy when I never have to have this added stress in a relationship ever again..COME ON CSC! ha

[bigcasino75 0]

well I just got told by my man that if I continue to party with my girlfriends I won't have a husband in 6 months (this is guy who is a nightclub promoter in vegas and gets paid to host and party with girls 4 nights a week)....I mean what does he expect me to do on the weekends sit at home and watch dvds...not cool at all...

I always find it funny when people want the person they are with to change who they were when you met. I've been in that spot before...be cautious. If you have always gone out with your girlfriends then why would it now be a problem?

... yeah... Im never a fan of double standards either.

especially when these will be last few months in australia forever, no naturally I want to enjoy the time I have left with my friends..ahh the joys of a long distance relationship..i will be so happy when I never have to have this added stress in a relationship ever again..COME ON CSC! ha

well I hate to see anyone having problems but it does make me feel better that we are not the only ones. I hope it all works out for all of us only time will tell. all of the stress of this visa stuff and wedding planning then you throw in LDR and differents in cultures and wow its a lot good luck to me and everyone else!! No lets get some good news next week come on CSC!!!

[Chi-town 1]

well I hate to see anyone having problems but it does make me feel better that we are not the only ones. I hope it all works out for all of us only time will tell. all of the stress of this visa stuff and wedding planning then you throw in LDR and differents in cultures and wow its a lot good luck to me and everyone else!! No lets get some good news next week come on CSC!!!

To everyone, this is a difficult process. First of all, the reason we are in this situation is that the person we love is not next door. Secondly, we are trying to keep relationship momentum going when there is so much distance, time, and understanding between us and the ones we love, thirdly, we fight this battle alone. Our friends and family support us, of course, but still the questions come, why not...., this whole process sucks because the government arbitrates who we love and how we can be with the ones we love.

If there is not a problem being faced by people seperated by the processing centers and distance then I suggest that there is not enough honesty in the relationship. This is hard. No question. And that is why this site is so valuable. We are not alone. I do think that if we make it through this process, think of how much stonger we will be together. God Bless all of you.

Edited December 13, 2009 by Chi-town

[bigcasino75 0]

To everyone, this is a difficult process. First of all, the reason we are in this situation is that the person we love is not next door. Secondly, we are trying to keep relationship momentum going when there is so much distance, time, and understanding between us and the ones we love, thirdly, we fight this battle alone. Our friends and family support us, of course, but still the questions come, why not...., this whole process sucks because the government arbitrates who we love and how we can be with the ones we love.

If there is not a problem being faced by people seperated by the processing centers and distance then I suggest that there is not enough honesty in the relationship. This is hard. No question. And that is why this site is so valuable. We are not alone. I do think that if we make it through this process, think of how much stonger we will be together. God Bless all of you.

WORD! I think the hammer hit the nail on that one very nice way to put it! good luck to all.

[Roy G. Biv 0]

Thanks everyone for all your input. I talked to the boy today and I think we're warming up to the idea of a full blown wedding. My friends Tracey and Matt were married last month and Tracey let me have her old planning stuff and Matt even flipped through a bridal magazine with us girls and pointed out the dresses he thought suited me best. I can handle this as long as it comes in one little step at a time.

[DainandVicky 4]

Thanks everyone for all your input. I talked to the boy today and I think we're warming up to the idea of a full blown wedding. My friends Tracey and Matt were married last month and Tracey let me have her old planning stuff and Matt even flipped through a bridal magazine with us girls and pointed out the dresses he thought suited me best. I can handle this as long as it comes in one little step at a time.

We were originally planning a quick and easy ceremony, in Colorado you can just sign a slip of paper with witnesses, don't even need a government or religious official present (doesn't require much advance planning). Have a long weekend/ our honeymoon in Colorado in the Rockies, nice weather in later spring months. If it's too early in the year/ weather is too cold maybe Vegas, as cliche as that is there's really some nice wedding packages out there these days and it's also quick and easy.

Then, have a reception here in Madison, WI for US friends and relatives (it's pretty much impossible for anyone there/ Phils to get a visa to visit here). Not much option for an outdoor wedding if she was going to get here in Feb/ March, still pretty freaking cold here at that time.

On our one year anniversary we were planning to do a large ceremony in Philippines as a "renewal of vows", church wedding and traditional reception, inviting my family and of course all her Phils family and friends (which in a catholic country that doesn't believe in birth control is enough to fill a church anyway haha).

Like a few other people here, we're hitting a rough spot in our relationship though and there's a lot of trust issues, which of course isn't easier with the 8000 mile distance. I have only a few days vacation time left after my long visit there, that I'm sure I'll need for this process and at least for our wedding. She can't get a visitor visa, so this waiting is the only option.

There's of course the strain of waiting an unknown amount of time that we all are sharing.

There's a stigma as well against Philippines brides. I have very little support from friends and I'm almost embarrassed to tell acquaintances, even though she's working in Dubai 6 years when I started talking to her. People just assume it's someone 20 years younger and not-too-bright or with a bad moral fiber when you tell them she's from Philippines. Even my always-supportive and loving family is looking a little strangely at me, but smiling and saying nice words.

With the holidays coming, it's depressing to think of being single and alone, which is also adding to my general funk. I'm the type of decline invitations to parties and such if I don't have a date, and I'm not a cheater.... soo....

My last longer relationship ended a few days before Christmas, 2008. I remember the sting and loneliness very well, and not looking forward to it.

Sorry, venting. I'll stop now I think I'll drink myself to sleep.

[Roy G. Biv 0]

Thanks everyone for all your input. I talked to the boy today and I think we're warming up to the idea of a full blown wedding. My friends Tracey and Matt were married last month and Tracey let me have her old planning stuff and Matt even flipped through a bridal magazine with us girls and pointed out the dresses he thought suited me best. I can handle this as long as it comes in one little step at a time.

We were originally planning a quick and easy ceremony, in Colorado you can just sign a slip of paper with witnesses, don't even need a government or religious official present (doesn't require much advance planning). Have a long weekend/ our honeymoon in Colorado in the Rockies, nice weather in later spring months. If it's too early in the year/ weather is too cold maybe Vegas, as cliche as that is there's really some nice wedding packages out there these days and it's also quick and easy.

Then, have a reception here in Madison, WI for US friends and relatives (it's pretty much impossible for anyone there/ Phils to get a visa to visit here). Not much option for an outdoor wedding if she was going to get here in Feb/ March, still pretty freaking cold here at that time.

On our one year anniversary we were planning to do a large ceremony in Philippines as a "renewal of vows", church wedding and traditional reception, inviting my family and of course all her Phils family and friends (which in a catholic country that doesn't believe in birth control is enough to fill a church anyway haha).

Like a few other people here, we're hitting a rough spot in our relationship though and there's a lot of trust issues, which of course isn't easier with the 8000 mile distance. I have only a few days vacation time left after my long visit there, that I'm sure I'll need for this process and at least for our wedding. She can't get a visitor visa, so this waiting is the only option.

There's of course the strain of waiting an unknown amount of time that we all are sharing.

There's a stigma as well against Philippines brides. I have very little support from friends and I'm almost embarrassed to tell acquaintances, even though she's working in Dubai 6 years when I started talking to her. People just assume it's someone 20 years younger and not-too-bright or with a bad moral fiber when you tell them she's from Philippines. Even my always-supportive and loving family is looking a little strangely at me, but smiling and saying nice words.

With the holidays coming, it's depressing to think of being single and alone, which is also adding to my general funk. I'm the type of decline invitations to parties and such if I don't have a date, and I'm not a cheater.... soo....

My last longer relationship ended a few days before Christmas, 2008. I remember the sting and loneliness very well, and not looking forward to it.

Sorry, venting. I'll stop now I think I'll drink myself to sleep.

Don't apologize for venting. I think that is the main purpose of a forum. Sucks that you can't share your anxiety and worry with your family and friends but we're all here and can sympathize/empathize better than anyone. My brother married a Philippine woman Sept 08 and they are expecting a new baby in February. Their K1 visa was denied (I don't know why; he and I are not very close) so he moved there last December. We were really excited to have her become part of our family. My mom thought that my brother would never marry and since Zoraida has three children from a previous marriage, mom lost her mind in happiness since she could hop into the indulgent grandmother mode immediately.

Konrad and I have been doing the LDR-thing for 12 solid years and whoa, howdy...not easy. On the one hand it's incredibly difficult when you have to be 'on' during that weekly phone call but on the other hand I'm confident we're going to make the best of our life together. It always amazes me that we are still such a great fit when we are together for all of the visits. I'm worried about the compromises needed for day-to-day living when he's here. I've become very used to my scattered schedule, my independence...I think I'll miss being independent most of all. It seems that getting it done all on my own has become a very big part of my personality and that cannot persist in a marriage. Also, I had been thinking about moving on to England after I finish grad school but he's said he'll veto the decision if he has a job he likes once he's working. Not looking forward to that point in life.

[kizza 1]

Don't apologize for venting. I think that is the main purpose of a forum. INDEED. Sucks that you can't share your anxiety and worry with your family and friends but we're all here and can sympathize/empathize better than anyone. My brother married a Philippine woman Sept 08 and they are expecting a new baby in February. Their K1 visa was denied (I don't know why; he and I are not very close) so he moved there last December. We were really excited to have her become part of our family. My mom thought that my brother would never marry and since Zoraida has three children from a previous marriage, mom lost her mind in happiness since she could hop into the indulgent grandmother mode immediately.

Konrad and I have been doing the LDR-thing for 12 solid years and whoa, howdy...not easy. On the one hand it's incredibly difficult when you have to be 'on' during that weekly phone call but on the other hand I'm confident we're going to make the best of our life together. It always amazes me that we are still such a great fit when we are together for all of the visits. I'm worried about the compromises needed for day-to-day living when he's here. I've become very used to my scattered schedule, my independence...I think I'll miss being independent most of all. It seems that getting it done all on my own has become a very big part of my personality and that cannot persist in a marriage. Also, I had been thinking about moving on to England after I finish grad school but he's said he'll veto the decision if he has a job he likes once he's working. Not looking forward to that point in life.

Wow 12 years!! Good on you! I guess I should stop whining! Hehe.

I think the holidays also add to the tension and feeling blue.

Matt is coming here in a bit over a week, after 4 months apart, and it wont be a day too soon. ALthough Im annoyed with him at the moment! I know I'll get over all my frustrations the second I see him at the airport. I know 4 months apart isnt even that bad either compared to what other couples have to go through. But it jsut starts getting rough after a while, as you all know.

Matt was saying that this process is teaching us not to take each other for granted, and that hopefully in the future we can hold on to that lesson.

I hear couples fighting at the supermarket over stupid sh!t and I think, really, you guys are fighting over trivial ####### like that? If my man was here I would not be fighting over a bag a chips!

To those who won't get to spend the holidays with their loved one, try not to get too depressed and remember that it's your last lonely christmas and think of all the christmases you will have together, and how sweet it will be. That's what Ive trying to do with big dates, like birthdays etc.

[mitch.snyder 0]

Don't apologize for venting. I think that is the main purpose of a forum. INDEED. Sucks that you can't share your anxiety and worry with your family and friends but we're all here and can sympathize/empathize better than anyone. My brother married a Philippine woman Sept 08 and they are expecting a new baby in February. Their K1 visa was denied (I don't know why; he and I are not very close) so he moved there last December. We were really excited to have her become part of our family. My mom thought that my brother would never marry and since Zoraida has three children from a previous marriage, mom lost her mind in happiness since she could hop into the indulgent grandmother mode immediately.

Konrad and I have been doing the LDR-thing for 12 solid years and whoa, howdy...not easy. On the one hand it's incredibly difficult when you have to be 'on' during that weekly phone call but on the other hand I'm confident we're going to make the best of our life together. It always amazes me that we are still such a great fit when we are together for all of the visits. I'm worried about the compromises needed for day-to-day living when he's here. I've become very used to my scattered schedule, my independence...I think I'll miss being independent most of all. It seems that getting it done all on my own has become a very big part of my personality and that cannot persist in a marriage. Also, I had been thinking about moving on to England after I finish grad school but he's said he'll veto the decision if he has a job he likes once he's working. Not looking forward to that point in life.

Wow 12 years!! Good on you! I guess I should stop whining! Hehe.

I think the holidays also add to the tension and feeling blue.

Matt is coming here in a bit over a week, after 4 months apart, and it wont be a day too soon. ALthough Im annoyed with him at the moment! I know I'll get over all my frustrations the second I see him at the airport. I know 4 months apart isnt even that bad either compared to what other couples have to go through. But it jsut starts getting rough after a while, as you all know.

Matt was saying that this process is teaching us not to take each other for granted, and that hopefully in the future we can hold on to that lesson.

I hear couples fighting at the supermarket over stupid sh!t and I think, really, you guys are fighting over trivial ####### like that? If my man was here I would not be fighting over a bag a chips!

To those who won't get to spend the holidays with their loved one, try not to get too depressed and remember that it's your last lonely christmas and think of all the christmases you will have together, and how sweet it will be. That's what Ive trying to do with big dates, like birthdays etc.

Have any of you noticed the tension starts to rise just before a visit? That's the way it's been for me and my girl, we get more nit picky and well... nervous I guess right before a visit.... then we see each other and everything is fine again.... Just our observations....

[kizza 1]

Don't apologize for venting. I think that is the main purpose of a forum. INDEED. Sucks that you can't share your anxiety and worry with your family and friends but we're all here and can sympathize/empathize better than anyone. My brother married a Philippine woman Sept 08 and they are expecting a new baby in February. Their K1 visa was denied (I don't know why; he and I are not very close) so he moved there last December. We were really excited to have her become part of our family. My mom thought that my brother would never marry and since Zoraida has three children from a previous marriage, mom lost her mind in happiness since she could hop into the indulgent grandmother mode immediately.

Konrad and I have been doing the LDR-thing for 12 solid years and whoa, howdy...not easy. On the one hand it's incredibly difficult when you have to be 'on' during that weekly phone call but on the other hand I'm confident we're going to make the best of our life together. It always amazes me that we are still such a great fit when we are together for all of the visits. I'm worried about the compromises needed for day-to-day living when he's here. I've become very used to my scattered schedule, my independence...I think I'll miss being independent most of all. It seems that getting it done all on my own has become a very big part of my personality and that cannot persist in a marriage. Also, I had been thinking about moving on to England after I finish grad school but he's said he'll veto the decision if he has a job he likes once he's working. Not looking forward to that point in life.

Wow 12 years!! Good on you! I guess I should stop whining! Hehe.

I think the holidays also add to the tension and feeling blue.

Matt is coming here in a bit over a week, after 4 months apart, and it wont be a day too soon. ALthough Im annoyed with him at the moment! I know I'll get over all my frustrations the second I see him at the airport. I know 4 months apart isnt even that bad either compared to what other couples have to go through. But it jsut starts getting rough after a while, as you all know.

Matt was saying that this process is teaching us not to take each other for granted, and that hopefully in the future we can hold on to that lesson.

I hear couples fighting at the supermarket over stupid sh!t and I think, really, you guys are fighting over trivial ####### like that? If my man was here I would not be fighting over a bag a chips!

To those who won't get to spend the holidays with their loved one, try not to get too depressed and remember that it's your last lonely christmas and think of all the christmases you will have together, and how sweet it will be. That's what Ive trying to do with big dates, like birthdays etc.

Have any of you noticed the tension starts to rise just before a visit? That's the way it's been for me and my girl, we get more nit picky and well... nervous I guess right before a visit.... then we see each other and everything is fine again.... Just our observations....

I have actually. I wonder if it is because we managed to cope up until then, and you know you still have to manage for while, but now that it's getting so close it can't come fast enough... For us (or at least me) there is no nervousness about the visits. I feel like it's more like when you've had to pee a little bit and it wasnt so bad, but now that you see your house you wonder if you'll be able to hold it..... Not the classiest analogy but that's how I see it! lol