Suicide bum-blast bombing startles Saudi prince

[mawilson 2,133]

#######-ysis

It has emerged that a fanatical al-Qaeda suicide terrorist attempted to kill a Saudi interior

minister last month by concealing a bomb up his bottom (the terrorist's, not the minister's).

The strategy backfired, so to speak, as the bum-bomber's own body muffled the deadly

#######-blast and his target escaped with only minor injuries.

Reports of the attack, in which fundamentalist fundament mentalist Abdullah Hassan Tali'

al-Asiri - aka Abul-Khair - attempted to assassinate Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Nayef,

broke last month. However, media including Al-Arabiya TV and the Sun have now further

newsened-up the story by revealing details of al-Asiri's method of smuggling the explosives

through the Prince's security.

It appears that al-Asiri gained access to the Prince by surrendering to Saudi forces near

the Yemeni border, saying he wanted to give himself up but insisting that he must do so

face to face with bin Nayef personally. The Prince's guards apparently failed to detect that

the 23-year-old fanatic had stuffed an unspecified amount of TNT and a firing system of

some type up his #######, which he detonated once in the room where bin Nayef was

receiving visitors in Jeddah.

Reportedly the Prince - who appropriately in this context is deputy interior minister for

security - sustained only a minor injury to his hand during the presumably extremely

messy explosion which followed. Other people present in the room were also largely

unharmed, with the deceased buttock-bomb operative the only casualty.

"He surprised me by blowing himself up," the Saudi bigwig reportedly told al-Arabiya, in a

masterpiece of understated commentary.

We here on the Reg bomb-disposal desk would suggest that the failed operation tends to

illustrate the generally poor skills of al-Qaeda terrorists. You don't have to be an

explosives expert to know that a human body can stifle a grenade explosion very

effectively, after all. Even a mercilessly trained operative of exceptional capacities would

probably struggle to deliver a payload a lot bigger than a grenade using al-Asiri's

eyewatering poo-chute portage method.

Of course we can only speculate regarding the firing system furnished by the back-alley

bomb makers who stood behind the young terrorist. An internal mechanical timer device

would perhaps be simplest, though there could be a risk of sharp-eared guards noticing

a ticking sound coming from one's ####### with such a method. Electrical firing circuits are

much more common in terrorist devices, though the need to carry a fairly substantial

battery internally would place even heavier demands on the kami-khazi operative as he

prepared for his mission.

In the interests of good taste we aren't even going to get into possible methods of

providing a manual firing switch, use of external power sources such as wall sockets or

light fittings once in the target room etc etc.

We would note though that in order to deploy a charge actually capable of working from

within an enemy within you'd need to fill up quite a lot of the body. This is theoretically

possible - a gutsy bomber could conceivably quaff huge quantities of liquid main-charge

explosives and then perhaps swallow a detonating device.

It still seems pretty unfeasible, however. The Tang part of current liquid mixes wouldn't

be too much of problem, but the peroxide concentrate would be likely to finish the

belly-bomber off before it even exploded - or anyway cause one or another kind of

inadvertent payload-jettison unpleasantness. Then there'd be the risk that stomach acids

would render the charge ineffective, or make it explode early etc.

Bottom line on this threat? Nothing to get anyone's bowels in an uproar. Move along:

nothing you even want to see here...

link

[Amby 490]

fantastic writing!

[mawilson 2,133]

fantastic writing!

Gives the word "аss-аss-inate" a whole new meaning.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

That sounds pretty awful.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

That skinny lil ** couldnve got more than a firecracker up his a$$.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

so this is where the phrase "blow that ####### up" comes from......

[Nagishkaw 510]

or ' Fire in the hole! ' .

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

or ' Fire in the hole! ' .

it'll sure cure them rhoids..........

[Nagishkaw 510]

And whatever else ails ya.