Fiancee is here in the US, but the table has turned

[brenkim 0]

Hello,

My fiancee just got here on a visa that expires in 90 days. It clearly states that she has to marry me within the 90 days or she has to go back home. We have a baby together, but she decided to leave us. She left with her uncle thinking she can become a permanent residence without me. Her uncle told me he'll hire a laywer to do the paper work for her to stay here as a permanent residence without me at all. I then asked him how is that possible sir? He said he can tell the laywer i abused h or threw her out of the house, therefore she has the right to report this and get permanent residency. I can't believed they would make up such a lie for her to stay. Is it true that she can stay in the US as a permanent without me? I thought she has to marry me within 90 days or she has to leave the US?? i am thinking to hired a lawyer but first i need your help

No marriage, No proof of abuse, No papers. and from now on any communication she has with you let it be in writing so you have documentation she's going back home. Sorry for your pain.

[Rings 10]

Hello,

My fiancee just got here on a visa that expires in 90 days. It clearly states that she has to marry me within the 90 days or she has to go back home. We have a baby together, but she decided to leave us. She left with her uncle thinking she can become a permanent residence without me. Her uncle told me he'll hire a laywer to do the paper work for her to stay here as a permanent residence without me at all. I then asked him how is that possible sir? He said he can tell the laywer i abused h or threw her out of the house, therefore she has the right to report this and get permanent residency. I can't believed they would make up such a lie for her to stay. Is it true that she can stay in the US as a permanent without me? I thought she has to marry me within 90 days or she has to leave the US?? i am thinking to hired a lawyer but first i need your help

Did you do a CRBA? Is the child a US citizen?

yes, he is a USC

Not sure why I have to keep quoing the same thing to you, but he said (look up) that the child was a USC.

[Krikit 1,165]

you said in order for her to stay in the US, she can claim abused and must have witnesses for her to stay in the US? A few said it only applied to a spouse and not fiancee?

There is only one way for a K-1 visa holder to legally stay in the US. They must marry the petitioner within 90 days and adjust status. There is no other option.

Moving this from the K-1 forum to the Effects of Major Changes forum.

[msu17 0]

Why dont you try to solve problems with your wife and try to work out the situation instead of being worried if she can get permanent residency or not?

Yes, let's "work on the problems" with his FIANCE (not wife), get married and then she files made up domestic violence claim against him, divorces him, gets WAVA, takes their son and he gets royally screwed. Excellent advice.... Honestly, working on a relationship is only good advice if both parties are in it for a relationship, not if one just wants a greencard. Must be nice to be that naive...

To the OP, sorry this has happened. Everyone has given excellent advice. DON'T take her back and DON'T marry her. SO many people on here have let their their foreign spouse or fiance take WAY too much because they felt sorry for him or her. Please don't be one of those guys, be strong for yourself and your son. Contact ICE and USCIS. Possibly contact your local police. Be safe.

[ScottThuy 140]

You hear from her yet/? I am surprised if she does not at least call before the weekend is over.... CYA cover your assets....

[westernboi 0]

You hear from her yet/? I am surprised if she does not at least call before the weekend is over.... CYA cover your assets....

not a word from her yet, i think she's too busy and overwhelmed thinking her uncle is a genius. I have the child, that's all it matters at this point. As for her, she'll pay a price for her mistakes.

Edited September 20, 2009 by westernboi

[Rings 10]

Keep strrong. In a couple of weeks her I94 will expire. You have your child and the child is a USC so she cannot remove him from the country without a fight. Let her visa expire and she is no longer your problem. If they are claiming to file abuse on you then it is not a good idea to take her back under any circumstances. Do not marry her. Do not even allow her to speak to you without someone else around to be a witness. She can not file abuse if she is not married to you. The warning signs of immigration fraud are all around you. Don't fall for it. Do not move or run with the child or else she will claim abandonment. Just stay put and let the next couple of weeks ride out untill her visa expires.

Best of luck to you and your child. I am glad you have the kid. Circumstances for you are better than most people and you are very lucky.

[Allie and Nigel 2]

You hear from her yet/? I am surprised if she does not at least call before the weekend is over.... CYA cover your assets....

not a word from her yet, i think she's too busy and overwhelmed thinking her uncle is a genius. I have the child, that's all it matters at this point. As for her, she'll pay a price for her mistakes.

Thank goodness you have your son! Thats ALL i can say!

[aaron2020 11,651]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

Edited September 20, 2009 by aaron2020

[westernboi 0]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

even if she tries to fight custody for the child, that will take a period of time for us to appear in court. By then, her visa will be expired, and she will be an illegal immigrant. The judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant. Maybe showing up to court as an illegal immigrant is not a good idea?

Edited September 20, 2009 by westernboi

[aaron2020 11,651]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

even if she tries to fight custody for the child, that will take a period of time for us to appear in court. By then, her visa will be expired, and she will be an illegal immigrant. The judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant. Maybe showing up to court as an illegal immigrant is not a good idea?

I completely disagree with your statement that "the judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant." An illegal alien parent has the exact same rights as a USC parent. Being illegal does not mean that the illegal's parental rights are any less than that of the USC parent. The judge will do what is in the best interest of the child. The judge will look at who can provide a stable environment for the child. Immigration status does not matter.

Is it a good idea for an illegal immigrant to show up for court? The court may take an illegal immigrant's status into consideration in determining what is in the best interest of the child. The court is not ICE, so they will not arrest her or hold her because of her illegal status. You could inform ICE that your ex-fiancee may be at a certain place at a certain time and they can act. However, the court may take this into consideration in adjudicating the custody dispute.

Go see a competent family lawyer.

[westernboi 0]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

even if she tries to fight custody for the child, that will take a period of time for us to appear in court. By then, her visa will be expired, and she will be an illegal immigrant. The judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant. Maybe showing up to court as an illegal immigrant is not a good idea?

I completely disagree with your statement that "the judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant." An illegal alien parent has the exact same rights as a USC parent. Being illegal does not mean that the illegal's parental rights are any less than that of the USC parent. The judge will do what is in the best interest of the child. The judge will look at who can provide a stable environment for the child. Immigration status does not matter.

Is it a good idea for an illegal immigrant to show up for court? The court may take an illegal immigrant's status into consideration in determining what is in the best interest of the child. The court is not ICE, so they will not arrest her or hold her because of her illegal status. You could inform ICE that your ex-fiancee may be at a certain place at a certain time and they can act. However, the court may take this into consideration in adjudicating the custody dispute.

Go see a competent family lawyer.

Here are the reasons why i think i can win this fight to keep the child.

1: I have a decent job

2: I have decent place to live

3: I am a USC and never abandoned my child

4: I don't smoke, or doing any drugs.

On the fiancee's side

1: She doesn't work

2: She's supposed to married me within 90 days as she signed the paperwork, but refused to do so

3: Overstay her visa, violated immigration laws.

4: Cannot support the child

The judge might not take immigration laws into his own hands, but he might take it into consideration, therefore i doubt i will lose this fight

Edited September 20, 2009 by westernboi

[christeen 966]

Good for you taking things into your own hands and your control and most importantly about thinking about what is best for your child. You cannot save or help her, but you have that responsibility to your child... Take control and do what you have to do for youself and your childs future... You have gotten some good advice here... Best of luck and keep us posted....

[thongd4me 69]

Hello,

My fiancee just got here on a visa that expires in 90 days. It clearly states that she has to marry me within the 90 days or she has to go back home. We have a baby together, but she decided to leave us. She left with her uncle thinking she can become a permanent residence without me. Her uncle told me he'll hire a laywer to do the paper work for her to stay here as a permanent residence without me at all. I then asked him how is that possible sir? He said he can tell the laywer i abused h or threw her out of the house, therefore she has the right to report this and get permanent residency. I can't believed they would make up such a lie for her to stay. Is it true that she can stay in the US as a permanent without me? I thought she has to marry me within 90 days or she has to leave the US?? i am thinking to hired a lawyer but first i need your help

I'm one of the loudest voices against hiring a lawyer when it comes to VJ paperwork, but in your case I would say get a lawyer right away

and if he/she was like the second lawyer I had (good) you should easily give the lie to all the allegations of abuse. There are many ways

for a good lawyer to trip up a poorly thought out lie. When someone is telling the truth, it's easy as pie to remember it.

The problem with lies is that the liar has to remember which version of what lie was told and that can get very messy.

Your parental rights (assuming you want to pursue them) are at stake.

Don't waste any time.

[thongd4me 69]

Im sorry

I just wanted to add that you should make sure you are NEVER alone with her if they are planning on claiming abuse. Even if their attempt to adjust based on VAWA fails, you dont need any false police reports and the drama of having to face that with your child.

Make sure you start documenting each time you speak with her when she referrences this "plan", that way its written down and you wont forget if asked months down the road.

be careful and mostly..im sorry you and your child are going through this.

That is good advice. You might even try to video tape or record her uncle or her saying what they are planning on doing. I would also write a letter to the USCIS and let them know before they every file anything and I would even call the cops and tell them what was said that way if you beat them to the punch it does not look good for them. Sorry to hear about your sitution. We wish you the best

Jerome and Binh

recording is a good thought, but it's illegal to record a conversation with or at someone else without their permission. I was reading a news the other day about a man who confronted a man that screwed his car at an auto body shop. He was using a recorder to record the conversation and showed them to the cops, the cops arrested him on the spot for violating the law to record a conversation with someone without their permission.

Don't worry about recording or not recording. She will have to make up an elaborate lie and that is how you can catch her, in open court.

Get a good lawyer experienced in matrimonial cases.

It's even more important because in the eyes of the US law, you may have a slight advantage over her even if she is the kid's mother,

due to the fact that she's chosen to run out on you and lie about the circumstances.

In the eyes of the law in Vietnam, she will have a 199% advantage over you, so don't let it get that far.