Should I be concerned?

[andrew&evelyn 6]

I never recieved any support from my fiance( husband now) not even a single cent. He only send me money for my medical, visa and plane ticket.

Evelyn

[tallcoolone 102]

I never recieved any support from my fiance( husband now) not even a single cent. He only send me money for my medical, visa and plane ticket.

Evelyn

Sorry to hear that, Too bad he didn't feel the need to help out his future wife.

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation?

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

well said! i use to send my fiance ~$150/mo just so she could be comfortable, as she still lived with her parents. she wasnt working, but was looking for a job. so ~8months ago, i sent her the capital to start a Sari-sari store.. costed me $800 smackers... anyway, she's been making a killing since... she nets approximately 40-45 thousand pesos monthly, and will have a 'lil business to leave to her family when she comes here. haven't been sending her any money. and she's already saved up enough money for her medical exam, fees, and plane ticket to the US! now that's teaching to fish!! ;p cheers!

There you go....you see there are SUCCESS stories after all (not just mine!!)....

Don't you buy that #######, bubba. $800 capital to net $900 a month? Sounds like a fisherman catchin' an anchovy and tellin' everybody that it's a 50 pound albacore. Well, I'll shut my mouth!

It's impossible to have a net income like that from a sari-sari store I agree. Maybe it's a money lending business?

So what...

you get a gift for paying back on time...

baseball bat does the jobs on the KNEEs for late payments...

[jom 4]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation?

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

well said! i use to send my fiance ~$150/mo just so she could be comfortable, as she still lived with her parents. she wasnt working, but was looking for a job. so ~8months ago, i sent her the capital to start a Sari-sari store.. costed me $800 smackers... anyway, she's been making a killing since... she nets approximately 40-45 thousand pesos monthly, and will have a 'lil business to leave to her family when she comes here. haven't been sending her any money. and she's already saved up enough money for her medical exam, fees, and plane ticket to the US! now that's teaching to fish!! ;p cheers!

There you go....you see there are SUCCESS stories after all (not just mine!!)....

Don't you buy that #######, bubba. $800 capital to net $900 a month? Sounds like a fisherman catchin' an anchovy and tellin' everybody that it's a 50 pound albacore. Well, I'll shut my mouth!

It's impossible to have a net income like that from a sari-sari store I agree. Maybe it's a money lending business?

So what...

you get a gift for paying back on time...

baseball bat does the jobs on the KNEEs for late payments...

I didn't make that much monthly working in the Philippines as a lawyer. What a sari-sari store!!!

[liraC 2]

am sorry to hear that!!!my fiance {now husband}sent me money for a 100 $ monthly and its really enough for me,i got no problem!!!and sometimes i contributed some to my parents for the electricity bill..lol and also monthly for the internet connection...get rid of your gf,she's probably doing something not really good..

[andrew&evelyn 6]

I never recieved any support from my fiance( husband now) not even a single cent. He only send me money for my medical, visa and plane ticket.

Evelyn

Sorry to hear that, Too bad he didn't feel the need to help out his future wife.

What are you sorry about it? I'm a grown up woman and I made my own money before. Now that I'm here he give everything I need and he does support my family back home too out of his generosity. I don't need to work myself as an RN here. And I also remember he doesn't need to smuggle louis vuitton stuff (Fake One) back here when he visit me to sell here and make extra money to support me back home.

[hara/eric 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation?

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

well said! i use to send my fiance ~$150/mo just so she could be comfortable, as she still lived with her parents. she wasnt working, but was looking for a job. so ~8months ago, i sent her the capital to start a Sari-sari store.. costed me $800 smackers... anyway, she's been making a killing since... she nets approximately 40-45 thousand pesos monthly, and will have a 'lil business to leave to her family when she comes here. haven't been sending her any money. and she's already saved up enough money for her medical exam, fees, and plane ticket to the US! now that's teaching to fish!! ;p cheers!

There you go....you see there are SUCCESS stories after all (not just mine!!)....

Don't you buy that #######, bubba. $800 capital to net $900 a month? Sounds like a fisherman catchin' an anchovy and tellin' everybody that it's a 50 pound albacore. Well, I'll shut my mouth!

It's impossible to have a net income like that from a sari-sari store I agree. Maybe it's a money lending business?

So what...

you get a gift for paying back on time...

baseball bat does the jobs on the KNEEs for late payments...

I didn't make that much monthly working in the Philippines as a lawyer. What a sari-sari store!!!

No, am not a fisherman, nor am I statistician. try googling sari-sari stores and you will find others threading how to set one up, and estimated startup capital, and average earnings.... you all shouldn't be so DARN quick to call BS, even if you happen to be a LAWYER. i doubt you BS-callers were ever former sari-sari owners, so frankly, you just wouldnt know. i am a doctor still in residency here in the US (anyone feel like calling BS on that too??!! ;p) and i agree, i would make NOTHING in PI. being a filam, having visited PI all my life, i am aware of what professionals make there... oh, and the average call-center operator would make more then you too, miss lawyer..

anyhow, for those actually interested.. starting capital $800. drinks, alcohol, candy, cigarettes, rice are some of the hot items. LOCATION is also a huge factor.. She actually found one of the apartments/store combo for 3taw per month. NO lending. Daily sales range from P2,800-4,000, with a mark-up ranging from 25-35%. Open 24hrs most of the time ( mybe 5% closure time, guessing) She is almost always able to set 1,000 pesos aside daily toward savings. Also, during afternoon and into evening, her mother sells bbq right in front of the store, which has consistently netted ~1,000 per day (1,500 bbq costs, sells for 2,500). mother sells bbq ~3-5 days out of the week. do the math... and if still confused, puzzled, perplexed, behooved, PM me and i will point you in the right direction! ;p

it is alot of work and maintainance in my opinion. For my fiance, it's a 3person job, her, mother, and younger brother. but the proceeds are large enough to support them....

anyhow, sorry for the ramble, was longer than i planned.. am post-call right now, and just got off work.. 30hrs straight makes you very loopy. ;p I will end with this adage: "Ignorance is BLISS!!!!!" ;p Cheers!!

[jom 4]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation?

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

well said! i use to send my fiance ~$150/mo just so she could be comfortable, as she still lived with her parents. she wasnt working, but was looking for a job. so ~8months ago, i sent her the capital to start a Sari-sari store.. costed me $800 smackers... anyway, she's been making a killing since... she nets approximately 40-45 thousand pesos monthly, and will have a 'lil business to leave to her family when she comes here. haven't been sending her any money. and she's already saved up enough money for her medical exam, fees, and plane ticket to the US! now that's teaching to fish!! ;p cheers!

There you go....you see there are SUCCESS stories after all (not just mine!!)....

Don't you buy that #######, bubba. $800 capital to net $900 a month? Sounds like a fisherman catchin' an anchovy and tellin' everybody that it's a 50 pound albacore. Well, I'll shut my mouth!

It's impossible to have a net income like that from a sari-sari store I agree. Maybe it's a money lending business?

So what...

you get a gift for paying back on time...

baseball bat does the jobs on the KNEEs for late payments...

I didn't make that much monthly working in the Philippines as a lawyer. What a sari-sari store!!!

No, am not a fisherman, nor am I statistician. try googling sari-sari stores and you will find others threading how to set one up, and estimated startup capital, and average earnings.... you all shouldn't be so DARN quick to call BS, even if you happen to be a LAWYER. i doubt you BS-callers were ever former sari-sari owners, so frankly, you just wouldnt know. i am a doctor still in residency here in the US (anyone feel like calling BS on that too??!! ;p) and i agree, i would make NOTHING in PI. being a filam, having visited PI all my life, i am aware of what professionals make there... oh, and the average call-center operator would make more then you too, miss lawyer..

anyhow, for those actually interested.. starting capital $800. drinks, alcohol, candy, cigarettes, rice are some of the hot items. LOCATION is also a huge factor.. She actually found one of the apartments/store combo for 3taw per month. NO lending. Daily sales range from P2,800-4,000, with a mark-up ranging from 25-35%. Open 24hrs most of the time ( mybe 5% closure time, guessing) She is almost always able to set 1,000 pesos aside daily toward savings. Also, during afternoon and into evening, her mother sells bbq right in front of the store, which has consistently netted ~1,000 per day (1,500 bbq costs, sells for 2,500). mother sells bbq ~3-5 days out of the week. do the math... and if still confused, puzzled, perplexed, behooved, PM me and i will point you in the right direction! ;p

it is alot of work and maintainance in my opinion. For my fiance, it's a 3person job, her, mother, and younger brother. but the proceeds are large enough to support them....

anyhow, sorry for the ramble, was longer than i planned.. am post-call right now, and just got off work.. 30hrs straight makes you very loopy. ;p I will end with this adage: "Ignorance is BLISS!!!!!" ;p Cheers!!

I dont understand why are you are so pissed off about my statement, I was just stating a FACT. Thats why I said, what a sari sari store ( with an exclamation point) because it is so successful. Dont be so defensive . I was actually complimenting you. One thing is, I dont BS here , everybody knows that. I dont know how much a call center personnel make but good for them if they make good money. I am not in competition with anybody, just making a statement.

Cool it man and goodluck with the sari-sari store

[headoverheels 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

Wow she's a high maintenance PINAY what the heck... for the crying out loud! Is she not working? 300 dollars is too much. And she is asking you for more money support? Oh boy you have been FOOLED!!!!

OBVIOUSLY SHE IS ONLY AFTER YOU FOR THE MIGHTY DOLLAR. YOU got yourself in trouble. A true Pinay at heart don't ask for money. SHE IS MAKAPAL ANG MUKHA tell her that!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

Wow she's a high maintenance PINAY what the heck... for the crying out loud! Is she not working? 300 dollars is too much. And she is asking you for more money support? Oh boy you have been FOOLED!!!!

OBVIOUSLY SHE IS ONLY AFTER YOU FOR THE MIGHTY DOLLAR. YOU got yourself in trouble. A true Pinay at heart don't ask for money. SHE IS MAKAPAL ANG MUKHA tell her that!

Edited September 20, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[headoverheels 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

well said! i use to send my fiance ~$150/mo just so she could be comfortable, as she still lived with her parents. she wasnt working, but was looking for a job. so ~8months ago, i sent her the capital to start a Sari-sari store.. costed me $800 smackers... anyway, she's been making a killing since... she nets approximately 40-45 thousand pesos monthly, and will have a 'lil business to leave to her family when she comes here. haven't been sending her any money. and she's already saved up enough money for her medical exam, fees, and plane ticket to the US! now that's teaching to fish!! ;p cheers!

Sari-Sari Store?? and earning the NET INCOME of 45,000 pesososesssssssssssss???? SERIOUSLY??? that's way too much!

[headoverheels 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation?

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

well said! i use to send my fiance ~$150/mo just so she could be comfortable, as she still lived with her parents. she wasnt working, but was looking for a job. so ~8months ago, i sent her the capital to start a Sari-sari store.. costed me $800 smackers... anyway, she's been making a killing since... she nets approximately 40-45 thousand pesos monthly, and will have a 'lil business to leave to her family when she comes here. haven't been sending her any money. and she's already saved up enough money for her medical exam, fees, and plane ticket to the US! now that's teaching to fish!! ;p cheers!

There you go....you see there are SUCCESS stories after all (not just mine!!)....

Don't you buy that #######, bubba. $800 capital to net $900 a month? Sounds like a fisherman catchin' an anchovy and tellin' everybody that it's a 50 pound albacore. Well, I'll shut my mouth!

It's impossible to have a net income like that from a sari-sari store I agree. Maybe it's a money lending business?

5'6??? business hehehe IMPOSSIBLE for a sari sari Store.

[hara/eric 0]

I dont understand why are you are so pissed off about my statement, I was just stating a FACT. Thats why I said, what a sari sari store ( with an exclamation point) because it is so successful. Dont be so defensive . I was actually complimenting you. One thing is, I dont BS here , everybody knows that. I dont know how much a call center personnel make but good for them if they make good money. I am not in competition with anybody, just making a statement.

Cool it man and goodluck with the sari-sari store

sorry that you think i am pissed off at your statement, but you got me all wrong.. was just calling you out on what i believe you really meant... i just felt it was irrelavent to draw a comparison between a lawyer and store owner in the PI. of course, it would probably be more valid here in the US. anyhow, if you were in fact being sincere and complimenting, i apologize. just next time, compliment someone by replying to their post directly, and not to a string of counterproductive posts. kinda comes across ingenuine ya know? anyhow, all sarcasm and undertones out the window, is it too late to accept your compliment??? ;p

[ChuckandRhean 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

I REITERATE, STOP RATIONALIZING WHAT SHES BEEN DOING. Scam artists? yes, there are everywhere .easiest yet the hardest way to test /earn ones trust:handling money.

LOL you sounding like him >>>> .

When I was still in PI my husband ( then Fiance ) 500$ a month to covered up all my bills.. Since he asked me to moved in a different appartment coz he was concerned of my safety in my old appartment on that time. But before he decided to make my 500$ a month allowanced we breakdown how much my expensed from monthly rental, water, electric and cable bills, including my every other weeks groceries lol. All in all as I remember.... Those all costs 300$. But he gave me more extra 200$ allowanced for phonecards and for the internet for our daily communication. Sometimes I over exceed of my only 1 month allowanced coz I was also in school on that time. Enough or not enough I have to budget all my expensed to fit on my budget. And if im out of money before 1 month.... It was my problem anymore. Never asked for more.

Try to ask her if what her actual expense.... Helping our parents is already part of our culture... as long you know his not supporting the whole clan. But I think that is too much of accusation if you dont have a proof. If her budget is 300$ a month then she need to budget it... helping or without helping her family with that money she need to mannage that money.

Confront her and see what she gonna say... and explain to her what you thought about it. Maybe she will upset a little coz maybe she'll get imbarass but you will find out if atleast she really care about you..... or just really care about the money.

I seemed like who? hahaha ur entitled to ur own thoughts sweetie.

Filipino women are recognized to have very unique qualities appealing to foreign men. Ask ur husband Ms. Juvy ,then after ul agree with me. Im proud to be a filipina . My fiance (USC)and i profess that were so blessed.Armed with my own blissful relationship with my honey, I infect others.

Confusedone and her fiancee are in the process of getting to know each other in a deeper level. Were here to give him options, present other case scenarios- be it our own experience or seen from others' .We magnify,illumminate (as he requested) the situation he is into leading to something desirable and worthy Or to a nightmare( which I hope not) . We ignite critical thinking as well as plausible emotion. We are encouraging him to probe their relationship ,to figure out where they fall short and make up.Likewise, we are enabling him to discern ways of how they could both work things out concerning money.

Having read all the posts, somehow,Confusedone has multiple options applicable to his case . Be careful to what u wish for. Bless you

Happiness and energy to u Ms. Juvy and hubby

Lol I dont know what is the unique qualities of filipina that you are talking about. I believe every different people have a different attitude and have some different point of view in life, you cant really measure it by the same of Race. Well atleast for me. But if you meant by the is those some filipina scammer in our country... It's atleast imbarassing to us but I wont deny that specially I have couple of a friend like them.

But in the situation of the OP.... You are right again, we are posting our opinion here but the opinion the you were giving was a straight forward juding his fiancee by your first post without thinking that you dont really know the whole story of their situation aside of the OP's story if how his fiancee sucked fast those money that he sent. Which is he can confront her and give his fiancee an idea how is his or thier money situation is. I am not quistioning what your first post I was just being an honest if how it sounds like lol.

Good Luck also both you and your fiance.. May you truely meant to be and last forever. And just take it easy Ms Rhean .

Greetings!!

Humbly speaking, Ive stressed my point on the grounds of my profession in practice and personal views. Totoo! Reality bites. It hurts u to hear words from strangers( it maynot be intended for u but its) bcoz u feel for that person. You sympathize with her.Its good. But come to think of it.Its Subjective, sweetie.

Filipino women are known for their independence,simplicity,loyalty,adoring,but not needy---simply ,a wife material. Pero sa nangyayari ngayon, may mga kababaihang Pinay ay sukat manloko ng tao ,paasahing tunay na umiibig ,pagkakitaan ,at paglaon mawawalang parang bula. This brought doubts and fears to some men getting along with prospective Filipino women. And Pity to those who were victimized. I would say that we,Ms. Juvy, Filipina Vjers and I are so blessed amidst the hasty generalization, the love we have for our partner prevails. we never gave up.

So whats the real score? Discourage the wrongdoing. Stop rationalizing what others had done. Take note of the factual events.emphatize.

Ms. Juvy ,If my words are accusing, then let it be. Yet the girl has to prove it wrong to Confusedone.

Im cool,girl. Im straightforward at certain ocassions when i should be. Bless you!

[ChuckandRhean 0]

This is an issue of choice of partner. Whereas Filipinas get bashed for being dollar suckers, maligning the good nature of the rest. Shouldn't the question be on the choice of partner the US citizen has chosen for himself as well?

To answer the OPs question. YES you should be concerned. While you feel heroic, as many US citizen partners here feel, for helping out yet there isn't really any heroic feeling at all knowing that you made a bad choice of partner. I say this for the fact that you are already questioning should you be concerned. YES you ought to be. Learning to handle money is highly probable BUT behaviorally difficult to achieve.

Choose someone who has the wherewithal to help you in your life together. By this I mean, character and not money.

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! it is a choice of partner who has the character tested thru time. I agree with u ,buddy.