Should I be concerned?

[Ban Hammer 13,445]

I agree with Mister Bill. The OP has already TROLLED enough in this forum and a school of crazy unsuspecting largemouths have nibbled at the lure. Mr. OP, you can now move on the general Off Topic forum and cast your line through the warm breeze along with the other misfits!

if you have evidence that supports your statement, then i suggest you take it up with a moderator immediately. calling troll without any supporting evidence can put you afoul of the mods.....

[Zen Den 18]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

Sorry but you have a scammer or VERY high priced pinay.

My wife made $148 US a month and supported her mom and dad and her daughter.

Have you met her?

I have met her. We spent almost three weeks together in the Philippines. To the others in the thread she is currently not working. So I am doing full support for her.

I have asked her to breakdown expenses, and have only received guesstimates on expenses. Then when have gone into it further. She told me had paid for a birthday party and gifts also. She has no children. This is really causing pain at this point because do love her, but the lack of responsibility with money pains me. 300 dollars seems excessive in 14 days. I fear she has given her mother money to get involved in a networking scam over there. As well as giving money to everyone in the family. I really do not know for positive though, and it pains me to ponder these questions. Would just rather address this now than 6 months down the road. We are to the point that just filed for 129f.

Edit: She is paying for a boarding room. She is leaving there this month, and it is provincial, and not Manila or Cebu.

I am looking to see if my concerns are just in my head, or if there is reason to be concerned. I am not trying to bash her or anything of the sort, or grab attention. Thank you for the replies.

1. insist on an expense breakdown.

she has gotten used to receiving the amount and must think you earn a lot more that you actually do

she has to know that as much as you can send her that much, you're earning just enough.

2. if she's saving or sharing the money, she should stop doing so because then the other people she's sharing to would think you're ok with it and that the money's for them too (something about the culture makes them think this)

3. as early as now she should learn money responsilibity. $300 is more than twice the salary of an entry-level employee in the phils.

it's way more than enough for boarding house, food, clothes and cellphone bills, especially if she lives in the province.

chances are she's supporting the whole family and extended relatives, which is not a bad gesture on her part but not good for your relationship if you don't have a say on it, and not even aware of it.

this is a problem. the earlier you fix it, the earlier you will know about the real intentions/feeling of your fiancee.

gods bless!

[cEzYcHiC 0]

I'm wondering why you're giving her money?

She's your fiancee, not your wife.

You don't need to send money for her to spend since you don't pick those on trees.

$300 is too much for a month.

I hope you realize that Filipinos are not REALLY up for the money.

It is the kind of person that you guys gave as an option.

If you keep doing these, she might just marry for the money.

I'm just sayin'.

[AbbynSheryl 0]

after reading all these i figure it out and that is just my opinion that SHE ONLY INTERESTED IN MONEY NOT YOU.

please be careful with ur money so many scam artists are everywhere...........................

abby n sheryl

[ChuckandRhean 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

Bilib ako. Ur Such a strong willed man to open up ur dilemma ,concerning the MOST SENSITIVE MARITAL ISSUE:MONEY MANAGEMENT.

I say,,

You are not confused one, you are blinded one . You are now ACTUALLY IN THE PROCESS OF MARRYING PART OF HER CLAN..sorry for the words,but lets face it!! I firmly believe Filipina wives here agrees with me.

Oh my ,$300 allowance a month??? You have pampered her like a queen. You love her ,yes. But does she honestly care for what uve worked hard for and love you???? Only she could tell that. I do understand u, and ur sincere intention of bringing this discomfort out in the open ( with great certainty,not intended to hurt ur gf/fiancee for that matter). Youve done ur part talking it out with her.Besides,She is perfectly aware of what shes doing. You should know her better,HAVE A MORE REALISTIC LIFETIME PARTNER SCREENING . Stop rationalizing what shes done. STOP hurting urself .LOOK around you. AND LISTEN to what ur heart desires, MOVE ON!! GIVE URSELF SOME SPACE TO BREATHE IN . MY FRIEND, YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. :yes believe me.

[ChuckandRhean 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

I REITERATE, STOP RATIONALIZING WHAT SHES BEEN DOING. Scam artists? yes, there are everywhere .easiest yet the hardest way to test /earn ones trust:handling money.

[John&Juvy 36]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

I REITERATE, STOP RATIONALIZING WHAT SHES BEEN DOING. Scam artists? yes, there are everywhere .easiest yet the hardest way to test /earn ones trust:handling money.

LOL you sounding like him >>>> .

When I was still in PI my husband ( then Fiance ) 500$ a month to covered up all my bills.. Since he asked me to moved in a different appartment coz he was concerned of my safety in my old appartment on that time. But before he decided to make my 500$ a month allowanced we breakdown how much my expensed from monthly rental, water, electric and cable bills, including my every other weeks groceries lol. All in all as I remember.... Those all costs 300$. But he gave me more extra 200$ allowanced for phonecards and for the internet for our daily communication. Sometimes I over exceed of my only 1 month allowanced coz I was also in school on that time. Enough or not enough I have to budget all my expensed to fit on my budget. And if im out of money before 1 month.... It was my problem anymore. Never asked for more.

Try to ask her if what her actual expense.... Helping our parents is already part of our culture... as long you know his not supporting the whole clan. But I think that is too much of accusation if you dont have a proof. If her budget is 300$ a month then she need to budget it... helping or without helping her family with that money she need to mannage that money.

Confront her and see what she gonna say... and explain to her what you thought about it. Maybe she will upset a little coz maybe she'll get imbarass but you will find out if atleast she really care about you..... or just really care about the money.

[john_and_marlene 162]

So you've talked to her and she has backed up a bit about the money. I think you are making a mistake. Watch for new reasons she needs money now that you have made a stand. Now instead of needing more money for a birthday party and presents, someone will get sick and she will need money for antibiotics or a close relative will be in the hospital and they can't pay the bill. Either you will cut her off or she will find new ways to keep that money flow coming. Don't go into debt before you realize her real intentions.

[Passing.star 0]

$300 dollar is way too much for a single person unless she is a high- maintenance lady. A lot of people blamed it to the family of the fiance, what it they do not know that she's receiving so much from the guy. I would say have a talk to her, she might end up disappointed when she comes here in the US and seeing you working to death to earn money unless you are really a rich guy who don't worry of day to day living here!

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

ConfuseDone.....

I have gone trough the same and then I recalled an old saying;

Give them a fish and feed them for one day....teach them how to fish and they feed themselves for a lifetime.....

After talking it over, any money i have sent was to be used ONLY and ONLY start and expand a very small bussiness....

While there were some false starts and training and adjustment along the way, now it is self sufficient and very little handouts or acceptance of any handouts....

I am sorry to say but some and I say some....not all.....have problems handling money or budget.....so some training is required.

Best Wishes...

Edited September 16, 2009 by ErosandSally

[Don José 2]

I agree with Mister Bill. The OP has already TROLLED enough in this forum and a school of crazy unsuspecting largemouths have nibbled at the lure. Mr. OP, you can now move on the general Off Topic forum and cast your line through the warm breeze along with the other misfits!

if you have evidence that supports your statement, then i suggest you take it up with a moderator immediately. calling troll without any supporting evidence can put you afoul of the mods.....

I think the OP is a real expert fisherman because he's got a lot of "dalagang bukid" to bite his baited line. And they continue to bite. They must be real hungry as they seem to feed on anything thrown at them!

[muñequita linda 0]

I agree with Mister Bill. The OP has already TROLLED enough in this forum and a school of crazy unsuspecting largemouths have nibbled at the lure. Mr. OP, you can now move on the general Off Topic forum and cast your line through the warm breeze along with the other misfits!

if you have evidence that supports your statement, then i suggest you take it up with a moderator immediately. calling troll without any supporting evidence can put you afoul of the mods.....

I think the OP is a real expert fisherman because he's got a lot of "dalagang bukid" to bite his baited line. And they continue to bite. They must be real hungry as they seem to feed on anything thrown at them!

It appears that it's just the small fry that's nibbling. I still have to see a trophy like an albacore or a prized rainbow to bite!

[tallcoolone 102]

hey how did she live before she met u?

abby n sheryl

She is 33 years old, and worked in hospital before we met. That is the reason money has become an issue. She made it on far less money before.

A. Unless your age is 60's or older, I would stay away from a girl that old in Philippines

B. If she can't live on $300 per month in PI, You need to cut ties and Run

C. All signs look likes she is a Scammer, and probably is supporting a Husband/Boyfriend

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

Linda.....

how are going to call this FORUM-NOVELAS..??????? :devil:

I cannot think of a name yet........" LOS Trescientos" ?...no, that was a movie about Sparta

[Rhiannercakes 14]

After skimming this topic a bit, I would maybe like to make a small suggestion.

I see she's spent 300 in 14 days.

Now, I'm not sure about how far 300 goes over there, but maybe you can try cutting her down to 275 or 250 and see how that goes?

I'm not sure if it'd be an insult or anything to give her less, but it'd help you see if she's just wanting money or maybe it'll make her see how much she really is spending.

Just like to add my 2 cents.