plz any suggestions....i am betrayed

[TayRivers 4]

The OP asked for some guidance on what she could do about the situation she is in. She did not ask for your opinions on her marriage or what you think might have happened.

Please refrain for making personal judgments, if you have no advice or information to the OP then please dont post.

Thanks

Tay

[bhajishah 4]

Otay Tay i did said turn in to DHS, and supported her

[SuperDuper! 230]

How would you propose to "Send him back"?

[Otto 83]

is there anything i can do to send hime back to pakistan?

No

can i get his address from USCIS?

Maybe

he must have filed AR11 as well to get green card.

Must have - who knows.

i feel rejected, betrayed, shattered.........

Am sure you do - anyone would.

Not a lot you can do to force someone out of the country. You can send a letter to USCIS to withdraw your support (I-864) and notify them of the situation - but the action they take/don't-take is up to them. If you are planning to file for a divorce - you can do so (in most states) without him being there - or even involved for that matter.

[Rings 10]

Nevertheless it's sad that anyone is hurt by another person. I am sorry for your pain and your loss and someday you will pass this and life will be good for you. I wish you all the best.

[MRStee 19]

Im sorry this happened to you. I would imagine he has brought great shame on his family for abondoning you. Let him deal with that and be done with it.

Agreed...

[D&R 0]

Not to step on anybody's toes, and I assure you that this is not my intention, but we have about 300,000,000 people living here in the US, many millions of which come from foreign countries, so before "importing" someone from a country far away, marrying a "distant relative" as the OP stated, one should better be 100% sure about the surrounding circumstances.

I do understand that many people like to (a) marry someone with an identical cultural background (as, on the contrary, others might want to marry someone from a different cultural background), and (B) the desire to help a family member to immigrate to US, but how often do we read about OPs who met someone only once, or a few times, initiated that person's immigration procedure, then get totally disappointed after just a short while when they learn the person they married isn't as they hoped for.

Call me crazy but I think before you MARRY someone and vow to spend the rest of your natural life on planet Earth with them, you better KNOW in the bottom of your heart that this is the right person.

I couldn't agree with you more!! I've said it quite a few times on here too. Really makes me cringe when people have met once or twice and done some online chatting and say how they're meant to be together, love at first sight, the only man for me etc.... I rarely hear people say the same when they've met the other at work, or down the pub or in the queue at the local post office. But somehow, meet someone online and chat over MSN and it's all bunnies and roses! lol

I think to a degree.... common sense just goes out the window!

[D&R 0]

Not to step on anybody's toes, and I assure you that this is not my intention, but we have about 300,000,000 people living here in the US, many millions of which come from foreign countries, so before "importing" someone from a country far away, marrying a "distant relative" as the OP stated, one should better be 100% sure about the surrounding circumstances.

Your intention is not to step on any toes, yet you chose to use the rather pejorative term of "importing" when you're referring to family based immigration?

VJ really is a microcosm iof the immigrating community at large....we don't get to know all the happy endings, just as only a small portion of the bad stories are posted on VJ..

I totally disagree with that!! We read happy ending stories on here ALL THE TIME!!! (followed by 6 pages of 'congratulations' ) The good stories FAR outweigh the bad ones. I think in the bad ones, there's also an element of the OP being in the wrong that we obviously don't get to hear. (not suggesting that in this case though)

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Not to step on anybody's toes, and I assure you that this is not my intention, but we have about 300,000,000 people living here in the US, many millions of which come from foreign countries, so before "importing" someone from a country far away, marrying a "distant relative" as the OP stated, one should better be 100% sure about the surrounding circumstances.

I do understand that many people like to (a) marry someone with an identical cultural background (as, on the contrary, others might want to marry someone from a different cultural background), and (B) the desire to help a family member to immigrate to US, but how often do we read about OPs who met someone only once, or a few times, initiated that person's immigration procedure, then get totally disappointed after just a short while when they learn the person they married isn't as they hoped for.

Call me crazy but I think before you MARRY someone and vow to spend the rest of your natural life on planet Earth with them, you better KNOW in the bottom of your heart that this is the right person.

I couldn't agree with you more!! I've said it quite a few times on here too. Really makes me cringe when people have met once or twice and done some online chatting and say how they're meant to be together, love at first sight, the only man for me etc.... I rarely hear people say the same when they've met the other at work, or down the pub or in the queue at the local post office. But somehow, meet someone online and chat over MSN and it's all bunnies and roses! lol

I think to a degree.... common sense just goes out the window!

you sure must cringe alot on this site seeing as how the onliners probably FAR out weight the face to facers.

Im not saying that people who are in love after a week dont make me too,

but have you ever considered that chatting online everyday for hours with someone is far more intimate than going on some dates with someone you met at the post office? maybe thats why people say they know someone so well after chatting with them for months. Being far away from someone gives you the opportunity to really communicate and learn about eachother..instead of "lets go to the movies and " for months on end.

Sorry for the OP

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Inappropriate "off topic type" comment and posts quoting same removed.

Other information contained within removed posts returned here:

Minya's Wife:

The OP is US born to Pakistani parents....her husband is Pakistani, not sure how much more 'her own culture' you can gen. unsure.gif She also mentions visiting 3 times...we know not the length of those visits to ascertain if they got to know each other 'really well' or not.

sofee,

Unfortunately, there is not much you can do especially if, as you say, you do not know where your husband is at. Perhaps you relative that informed you of your husbands arrival can help you locate him.

You husband has a 10 year green-card, there's nothing you can do to get him 'sent back' to Pakistan. You can make sure to do your part and notify USCIS, but there is no mechanism is place for you as the USC to make a report that will result in the removal proceedings against the immigrant. File for divorce, send a letter to USCIS (referencing your I-130 petition number) explaining the situation, attach your divorce decree and move on.

justashooter:

the OP is US born and raised. she is not going to be a native pakistani, and she knows it. this happens with all immigrants. the next generation is different from the home country standard. with chinese it is marked, and US born chinese are called "bananas" by PRC people, because they are "yellow on the outside, and white on the inside".

Edited September 9, 2009 by Kathryn41

[sofee 0]

i don't know why people are making judgment remarks about me......

if u want to give opinion then ur welcome if don't then just DON'T give comments............

thanks to those who gave suggestions.....

i am us born but my father is pakistani, and my mother is us born...

and they make a wonderful couple....still very much in love after 30yrs of their marriage.....

anyways i ve 2 questions to ask.....

1} is that possible for me to locate my husband (he must have changed his address at POE to get green card)

he must be living with someone...he cannt manage things alone...

will USCIS/immigtaion services etc will give me his address.

2} if he is still in pakistan, but got his visa stamped with IR1, can i revoke his visa?

P.S. he is a distant cousin, and i had issues with his family as well during my last visit to pakistan, so they want to stay out of this matter for now.

[3600rs 24]

i don't know why people are making judgment remarks about me......

if u want to give opinion then ur welcome if don't then just DON'T give comments............

thanks to those who gave suggestions.....

i am us born but my father is pakistani, and my mother is us born...

and they make a wonderful couple....still very much in love after 30yrs of their marriage.....

anyways i ve 2 questions to ask.....

1} is that possible for me to locate my husband (he must have changed his address at POE to get green card)

he must be living with someone...he cannt manage things alone...

will USCIS/immigtaion services etc will give me his address.

2} if he is still in pakistan, but got his visa stamped with IR1, can i revoke his visa?

P.S. he is a distant cousin, and i had issues with his family as well during my last visit to pakistan, so they want to stay out of this matter for now.

Like any other board..there are judgment remarks that can be hurtful as well as helpful suggestions. Its with the package. Ignore the bad parts. Let me answer your questions

1. Make an infopass --- My guess would be they will realize that you'll don't live together, he has his IR permanent visa and could be on the way for citizenship. Any complaint at this stage *may* call for an investigation on him. I am not sure if you can get his address from the USCIS. As it is *his* immigration file now, conditions have been removed, IR *not* CR.

Don't think he cant manage on his own...he has abandoned you knowing that he is better off on his own. If he can survive in Pakistan he can survive over here. I am sure hes doing better here than in Pakistan.

2. You *cannot* revoke, your complaints *may* call for an investigation, but its highly impossible to revoke. After getting an IR visa, to revoke for FRAUD needs a high level of evidence which u dont have.

good luck

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

1) If they entered the country and changed the address you should receive something in the mail at the original address about the notification of change of address.

2) I asked your second question in another thread prior and the answer I got was that if they haven't received the visa in the passport yet it can be revoked if you notify the Embassy. The timing depends on the wheels of bureaucracy.

Now if they receive it and you tell the Embassy your separated and haven't heard from him in over a month I wonder if they can still get through POE or can they be sent back then?

[TayRivers 4]

1) If they entered the country and changed the address you should receive something in the mail at the original address about the notification of change of address.

2) I asked your second question in another thread prior and the answer I got was that if they haven't received the visa in the passport yet it can be revoked if you notify the Embassy. The timing depends on the wheels of bureaucracy.

Now if they receive it and you tell the Embassy your separated and haven't heard from him in over a month I wonder if they can still get through POE or can they be sent back then?

If you enter the USA on a Immigrant visa then at the POE you are asked to verify the address you want your Greencard to be mailed to. If the address has changed since the intial forms were completed all the immigrant has to do is note the new address on the form that you sign at POE. The greencard and SSN will then be mailed to the address given. No notification is sent to the old address.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

1) If they entered the country and changed the address you should receive something in the mail at the original address about the notification of change of address.

2) I asked your second question in another thread prior and the answer I got was that if they haven't received the visa in the passport yet it can be revoked if you notify the Embassy. The timing depends on the wheels of bureaucracy.

Now if they receive it and you tell the Embassy your separated and haven't heard from him in over a month I wonder if they can still get through POE or can they be sent back then?

If you enter the USA on a Immigrant visa then at the POE you are asked to verify the address you want your Greencard to be mailed to. If the address has changed since the intial forms were completed all the immigrant has to do is note the new address on the form that you sign at POE. The greencard and SSN will then be mailed to the address given. No notification is sent to the old address.

Thanks for the clarification.

That is alarming.