Should I adopt stepdaughter to bring her here with my wife?

[aaron2020 11,651]

Okay, last question. So i need the father's permission to bring her here. But what if i give her my last name by terminating the father's parental rights in bolivia. I would not go through the adoption process because he would give up his parental rights over to me without adopting her. In other words, the bolivian court will let me recognize her with ym alst name with him signing the proper documents. I can get a new a birth certificate that way, according to the lawyer in bolivia.

Question is, if i did that would i need permission from the biofather, if he gave up his parental rights in bolivia before i start the process. Like i said, i wont adopt bc it would take longer and more money. We're going to make the father give up his right, and i will recognize her once they take out his last name.

If you could get a Bolivian court order terminating the biological father's parental rights, there would be no need to get his permission for the child to move to the US. NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER LAST NAME. IT'S THE LEGAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOU AND THE CHILD (WHETHER IT IS STEP-CHILD OR ADOPTED CHILD), NOT THE NAME.

Getting a birth certificate showing that you are her biological father when in fact you are not and submitting that birth certificate to the US government would be FRAUD. Even if it is legal in Bolivia, the information contained in it is not true. You would be making a false representation to the US government. DO NOT DO THIS.

Edited September 7, 2009 by aaron2020

[aaron2020 11,651]

You need the biological father's permission to remove the child from Bolivia. If you do not, it is international kidnapping by a parent (your wife) and by you.

If the father does not give you permission to remove the child from Bolivia, you will need a BOLIVIAN COURT ORDER and not some magic paperwork. The US embassy requires either parental permission from the non-immigrating parent or a valid court order terminating parental rights. A court order granting sole custody does not terminates the other parent's rights.

[nyankee 0]

So, if its illegal to turn in the new certificate the bolivian goverment gives me, what do i do? IF i turn in the one with her fathers last name they will ask for persmission from the father. OR would i need to get some document showing he gave up his rights to me, and turn in the other birth cerficite, which would be voided in bolivia after this process.

[ScottThuy 140]

In a nutshell you must have a quit claim letter from the father that allows the mother to take the child ourt of the country. Without that letter.. the child will likely not be allowed a visa and if a visa is issued under false pretenses it could cost you your freedom in the long run... Go legit.. just get the father to sign the quit claim letter in front of a notary and then file the 130...

[aaron2020 11,651]

So, if its illegal to turn in the new certificate the bolivian goverment gives me, what do i do? IF i turn in the one with her fathers last name they will ask for persmission from the father. OR would i need to get some document showing he gave up his rights to me, and turn in the other birth cerficite, which would be voided in bolivia after this process.

You either 1) get permission from her biological father to let her immigrate to the US or 2) get a Bolivian court order terminating his parental rights which would allow her mother to take her out of the country without her father's permission. An adoption by you does not necessarily terminates the biological father's parental rights. An adoption would mean that you are a legal parent. It does not have to mean that her biological father is no longer a legal parent. This is stuff that I have given you in prior posts. If you are having difficulty understanding this, you should inquire with a US immigration lawyer about how to proceed.

If you are having difficulty getting the father to let his daughter immigrate, then you could look into terminating his parental rights. However, there must be a damn good reason other than her mother is immigrating to the US and she wants to take the child along and the US is a better place to live. There must be some abuse, neglect or a parent-child relationship was never formed to terminate a parent's rights towards his/her child. Depriving a parent the legal authority to raise his/her child is not easy. The parent's acts must be so egregious that it makes him/her a unsuitable parent. Disagreeing on where a child should live is not one of those acts even if the child will have better opportunities in life by immigrating.

Edited September 7, 2009 by aaron2020

[nyankee 0]

I'm, understading what you are saying, aaron. You being a great help, and thanks for taking the time to help me out.

From my understanding, the best way would be to get the court to terminate the father's rights and get him to sign a a document confirming what the court rules, so i can use that when i file the I-130 as my stepdaughter.

About the father, he does not care about her daughter. He never supported my wife or his child since they broke up when she was 3. He wants all the privileges when he does come see her, but he does not want to contribute. My wife wanted to terminate his rights before i was in the picture because the father even demanded money from my wife, and he would sign over his rights. plus hes a drug addict.......no more to say about that.

I guess my last question is how to give my last name to my stepdaughter in the US so she could use it for id, passport ect..., if ill be using the first birth certificate, and not the new one the bolivian goverment would issue after he gives up his rights. I bolivia they void the first birth certificate after a father gives up his rights, and put in a new one on the system with the new last name of the person recognizing the child. and would i put in her name with my last name when filing the i130, since ill be her new father legally, and have the documents stating the parent gave up his right and last name of her daughter?

[aaron2020 11,651]

I'm, understading what you are saying, aaron. You being a great help, and thanks for taking the time to help me out.

From my understanding, the best way would be to get the court to terminate the father's rights and get him to sign a a document confirming what the court rules, so i can use that when i file the I-130 as my stepdaughter.

About the father, he does not care about her daughter. He never supported my wife or his child since they broke up when she was 3. He wants all the privileges when he does come see her, but he does not want to contribute. My wife wanted to terminate his rights before i was in the picture because the father even demanded money from my wife, and he would sign over his rights. plus hes a drug addict.......no more to say about that.

I guess my last question is how to give my last name to my stepdaughter in the US so she could use it for id, passport ect..., if ill be using the first birth certificate, and not the new one the bolivian goverment would issue after he gives up his rights. I bolivia they void the first birth certificate after a father gives up his rights, and put in a new one on the system with the new last name of the person recognizing the child. and would i put in her name with my last name when filing the i130, since ill be her new father legally, and have the documents stating the parent gave up his right and last name of her daughter?

Talk to the US Embassy in Bolivia before you use her "new birth certificate." I think you are too hung up on this adoption and name thing. You need to look into retaining an US immigration attorney who deals in adoption before you proceed on this route. Personally, I would not use this "new birth certificate" as you are fully aware you are not the biological father. Why you would ever use it is a mystery to me. That is FRAUD. Even if it is legal in Bolivia, it does not meet the requirement for a valid birth certificate in the US because it contains factually erroneous information.

If the father is a drug addict who has not supported the child and is trying to extort the mother, you should have no problem terminating his parental right.

I presume that in a legal adoption, you may be given an opportunity to change her name. You cannot simply choose to start using a new name. In most US states, a person can change their last name to their spouses without court approval. Any name change that differs MUST be approved by a court. If your step-daughter wishes to change her last name to yours once she is in the US, you will need to go to court.

Edited September 7, 2009 by aaron2020

[payxibka 10,045]

You do not need the court's ruling or permission from the father in order to petition for your stepdaughter... she is your stepdaughter by marriage period. The petition can be submitted without it... However, when time comes for a visa you WILL need it...

You do not need both a court decision and non custodial parental permission to receive the visa... just one or the other... Seek the one that results in the path of least resistance.....

As it relates to the permission of the noncustodial parent... you are NOT seeking elimination of his parental rights but merely his permission for the emigration from Bolivia

Edited September 7, 2009 by payxibka

[aaron2020 11,651]

You do not need the court's ruling or permission from the father in order to petition for your stepdaughter... she is your stepdaughter by marriage period. The petition can be submitted without it... However, when time comes for a visa you WILL need it...

You do not need both a court decision and non custodial parental permission to receive the visa... just one or the other... Seek the one that results in the path of least resistance.....

As it relates to the permission of the noncustodial parent... you are NOT seeking elimination of his parental rights but merely his permission for the emigration from Bolivia

I think the OP does not believe he can get the father to release the child and allow the child to immigrate to the US. That is why he thinks an adoption may be the best route as it may terminate the father's parental rights and remove him as an obstacle in the child's attempt to attain a visa.

[nyankee 0]

Well, i want to take terminate the father's rights bc i do not want to deal with him anymore in the future, or have to pay him money anything else that could come up where i would need his permission.

I guess what i'll do is terminate his rights, then file the i130 for my stepdaughter. Also ask a lawyer or us embassy in bolivia, if it is possible to use the new birth certificate. I was thinking of terminating the father's rights, and then after giving her my last name i would also formally adopt her. I just have to find out if i can do the adoption and bolivia, or if i have to do it here to change her name. That way she gets her visa with my last name and any other document from that point. Maybe, i need some other type of document besides a bith certificate to get her visa under my name.

[payxibka 10,045]

Well, i want to take terminate the father's rights bc i do not want to deal with him anymore in the future, or have to pay him money anything else that could come up where i would need his permission.

I guess what i'll do is terminate his rights, then file the i130 for my stepdaughter. Also ask a lawyer or us embassy in bolivia, if it is possible to use the new birth certificate. I was thinking of terminating the father's rights, and then after giving her my last name i would also formally adopt her. I just have to find out if i can do the adoption and bolivia, or if i have to do it here to change her name. That way she gets her visa with my last name and any other document from that point. Maybe, i need some other type of document besides a bith certificate to get her visa under my name.

Just my 2 cents. If someone was "forcing' me into terminating my parental rights then that would most likely result in me saying FU and I would be extremely uncooperative.... If someone approached me in a spirit of cooperation, then I might be more agreeable...

I understand the want to eliminate "heartburn" from the non-custodial parent in the future but what else could he get in the way of? My stepson has been here almost 3 years and we have had zero issues with his biological father. In these almost three years, the father has called twice to speak to his "son". The only document we had signed was the "permission to emigrate". The only potential thing standing in our way that I can see before the child turns 18 is his passport will expire early next year. We will need the biological father's "signature" for a renewal, but it is also not a huge problem if we don't since he is also on my wife's passport and they can just travel together. My wife also feels that if the child calls his father and asks for his signature he will get it. She is confident the father will not say "no" to his son.

You do not need to wait until you have this agreement to file the I-130... you can begin the I-130 process now and as long as you have what you need by the time the visa is ready to be issued 6-8 mos. from now. By waiting for this "event" to occur before submitting the I-130 you are building in a significant delay.

The name is so insignificant... you could petition to change her name in the states (process and eligibility requirements are dependent on your states name change laws) all after the fact if it is so important to you that she has "your" name. There is no advantage from an immigration standpoint for the child to have "your" name.

Edited September 8, 2009 by payxibka

[aaron2020 11,651]

Well, i want to take terminate the father's rights bc i do not want to deal with him anymore in the future, or have to pay him money anything else that could come up where i would need his permission.

I guess what i'll do is terminate his rights, then file the i130 for my stepdaughter. Also ask a lawyer or us embassy in bolivia, if it is possible to use the new birth certificate. I was thinking of terminating the father's rights, and then after giving her my last name i would also formally adopt her. I just have to find out if i can do the adoption and bolivia, or if i have to do it here to change her name. That way she gets her visa with my last name and any other document from that point. Maybe, i need some other type of document besides a bith certificate to get her visa under my name.

Just my 2 cents. If someone was "forcing' me into terminating my parental rights then that would most likely result in me saying FU and I would be extremely uncooperative.... If someone approached me in a spirit of cooperation, then I might be more agreeable...

I understand the want to eliminate "heartburn" from the non-custodial parent in the future but what else could he get in the way of? My stepson has been here almost 3 years and we have had zero issues with his biological father. In these almost three years, the father has called twice to speak to his "son". The only document we had signed was the "permission to emigrate". The only potential thing standing in our way that I can see before the child turns 18 is his passport will expire early next year. We will need the biological father's "signature" for a renewal, but it is also not a huge problem if we don't since he is also on my wife's passport and they can just travel together. My wife also feels that if the child calls his father and asks for his signature he will get it. She is confident the father will not say "no" to his son.

You do not need to wait until you have this agreement to file the I-130... you can begin the I-130 process now and as long as you have what you need by the time the visa is ready to be issued 6-8 mos. from now. By waiting for this "event" to occur before submitting the I-130 you are building in a significant delay.

The name is so insignificant... you could petition to change her name in the states (process and eligibility requirements are dependent on your states name change laws) all after the fact if it is so important to you that she has "your" name. There is no advantage from an immigration standpoint for the child to have "your" name.

'

Great reply! Totally agree with your statements 100%.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Being confrontational will be financially and emotionally burdensome. Cooperation is the better route. Pay the father off if you have too. You wouldn't be the first. Does it violate your principals to do this? Probably, but who cares. If you can, spare the child from the trauma of a legal proceeding to terminate the father's rights. I can't imagine any legal proceeding where the child would not have to testify against the father.

[nyankee 0]

Well, i want to take terminate the father's rights bc i do not want to deal with him anymore in the future, or have to pay him money anything else that could come up where i would need his permission.

I guess what i'll do is terminate his rights, then file the i130 for my stepdaughter. Also ask a lawyer or us embassy in bolivia, if it is possible to use the new birth certificate. I was thinking of terminating the father's rights, and then after giving her my last name i would also formally adopt her. I just have to find out if i can do the adoption and bolivia, or if i have to do it here to change her name. That way she gets her visa with my last name and any other document from that point. Maybe, i need some other type of document besides a bith certificate to get her visa under my name.

Just my 2 cents. If someone was "forcing' me into terminating my parental rights then that would most likely result in me saying FU and I would be extremely uncooperative.... If someone approached me in a spirit of cooperation, then I might be more agreeable...

I understand the want to eliminate "heartburn" from the non-custodial parent in the future but what else could he get in the way of? My stepson has been here almost 3 years and we have had zero issues with his biological father. In these almost three years, the father has called twice to speak to his "son". The only document we had signed was the "permission to emigrate". The only potential thing standing in our way that I can see before the child turns 18 is his passport will expire early next year. We will need the biological father's "signature" for a renewal, but it is also not a huge problem if we don't since he is also on my wife's passport and they can just travel together. My wife also feels that if the child calls his father and asks for his signature he will get it. She is confident the father will not say "no" to his son.

You do not need to wait until you have this agreement to file the I-130... you can begin the I-130 process now and as long as you have what you need by the time the visa is ready to be issued 6-8 mos. from now. By waiting for this "event" to occur before submitting the I-130 you are building in a significant delay.

The name is so insignificant... you could petition to change her name in the states (process and eligibility requirements are dependent on your states name change laws) all after the fact if it is so important to you that she has "your" name. There is no advantage from an immigration standpoint for the child to have "your" name.

Well, i'm not in any hurry to file for my stepdaughter yet. I want to bring my wife here first and get stable financially. I'm using my parents to cosponsor for my wife, since i never filed taxes bc i'm a full time college student. So, i want to use the time i have before i file for my stepdaughter to deal with the problems with her father. You see, i wanted to have a good relationship with my stepdaughter's father, but it can't happen bc this guy does not care about her and just wants to use this situation to get money off of us. I do not want to be paying this guy and be dealing with this ####### everytime we need his signature.

Anyway, after i get him to give up his parental rights, which includes his last name, I will see if i can adopt her, even though she will already use my last name in bolivia after her father gives up his rights, but i want to adopt her too to have more documents to back up the name change in Bolivia. We just want to see if it is possible to get my stepdaughter's visa and greencard with my last name, and get it over with. Bc he won't legally be her father anymore, plus ill adopt her. I don't see why they would issue her visa under a name that is not legal in Bolivia anymore, if i have the proper proof to back up the name change. I will find out what i have to do to make it happen when i speak with a lawyer tomorrow.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Well, i want to take terminate the father's rights bc i do not want to deal with him anymore in the future, or have to pay him money anything else that could come up where i would need his permission.

I guess what i'll do is terminate his rights, then file the i130 for my stepdaughter. Also ask a lawyer or us embassy in bolivia, if it is possible to use the new birth certificate. I was thinking of terminating the father's rights, and then after giving her my last name i would also formally adopt her. I just have to find out if i can do the adoption and bolivia, or if i have to do it here to change her name. That way she gets her visa with my last name and any other document from that point. Maybe, i need some other type of document besides a bith certificate to get her visa under my name.

Just my 2 cents. If someone was "forcing' me into terminating my parental rights then that would most likely result in me saying FU and I would be extremely uncooperative.... If someone approached me in a spirit of cooperation, then I might be more agreeable...

I understand the want to eliminate "heartburn" from the non-custodial parent in the future but what else could he get in the way of? My stepson has been here almost 3 years and we have had zero issues with his biological father. In these almost three years, the father has called twice to speak to his "son". The only document we had signed was the "permission to emigrate". The only potential thing standing in our way that I can see before the child turns 18 is his passport will expire early next year. We will need the biological father's "signature" for a renewal, but it is also not a huge problem if we don't since he is also on my wife's passport and they can just travel together. My wife also feels that if the child calls his father and asks for his signature he will get it. She is confident the father will not say "no" to his son.

You do not need to wait until you have this agreement to file the I-130... you can begin the I-130 process now and as long as you have what you need by the time the visa is ready to be issued 6-8 mos. from now. By waiting for this "event" to occur before submitting the I-130 you are building in a significant delay.

The name is so insignificant... you could petition to change her name in the states (process and eligibility requirements are dependent on your states name change laws) all after the fact if it is so important to you that she has "your" name. There is no advantage from an immigration standpoint for the child to have "your" name.

Well, i'm not in any hurry to file for my stepdaughter yet. I want to bring my wife here first and get stable financially. I'm using my parents to cosponsor for my wife, since i never filed taxes bc i'm a full time college student. So, i want to use the time i have before i file for my stepdaughter to deal with the problems with her father. You see, i wanted to have a good relationship with my stepdaughter's father, but it can't happen bc this guy does not care about her and just wants to use this situation to get money off of us. I do not want to be paying this guy and be dealing with this ####### everytime we need his signature.

Anyway, after i get him to give up his parental rights, which includes his last name, I will see if i can adopt her, even though she will already use my last name in bolivia after her father gives up his rights, but i want to adopt her too to have more documents to back up the name change in Bolivia. We just want to see if it is possible to get my stepdaughter's visa and greencard with my last name, and get it over with. Bc he won't legally be her father anymore, plus ill adopt her. I don't see why they would issue her visa under a name that is not legal in Bolivia anymore, if i have the proper proof to back up the name change. I will find out what i have to do to make it happen when i speak with a lawyer tomorrow.

You have no money. As a practical matter, how do you plan to pay a lawyer to file a legal action to terminate the father's rights? Have you considered the psychological damage to your daughter. A court proceeding may be more damaging to her than paying off her father. You need to get beyond your hatred for this man and do what is in the best interest of your step-daughter even if it means putting up with s h i t you don't like.