Waiting Sucks

[Gone To Texas 0]

Why is it that there aren't 48,000 American Men on websites offering to move to Russia to marry women?

I think that I know the answer to that question (in my humble opinion)

... because they cannot be the "man of the house" if they move to a country where they will have a hard time finding a job. And in some cases, because they are lazy to learn a new language, so they prefer to put the burden on the woman.

In my personal case, if I were legal to work there, I would probably consider it. I already tried in a different country, but I did not find an equivalent job (I searched seven months), so I was forced to return, because if I did not eat I would not be alive anymore.

The thought about putting the burden on the woman to learn English is a good point. It's a bit unfair for one thing, but I believe there are trade-offs in every situation, such as language for love. I do have to say that these women are very brave, many that do not speak the language at all are willing to leave not only their home, but their country, their continent.....and cross the ocean to be with their future husband. Not sure how many guys would make that leap of faith.

In my own case, I'm lucky that my fiance' speaks English fluently. And she brought this up many times on how difficult it must be for others to communicate if there is little to no common ground verbally.

I'm not trying to brag, but she is extremely intelligent, has a degree, very well read, can talk politics, culture, tourism, life, gardening, literature, computer science, and home decor easily and with great knowledge. She has a very respectable career in a great part of Moscow, but wants to leave this world to venture into my own part of the Texas "wilderness".

I have to admit that although I was ready to marry her from the first day we met in Moscow, she maintained a logical stance, further developing our relationship over the course of another ten months or so, flying to my own state of Texas twice to take a look at my home, my yard, meet my friends, visit my office, interact with my family, and even visit the local school district to ascertain the quality of education available in my area for children.

I must say that she is definitely not some village girl looking to live in something made of brick instead of a hut with branches for a roof. I would imagine that there are many women out there who have a powerful intellect and a rational train of thought, and I'm just happy that I found the One for me.

The only drawback.......she does not like the hens that I have in the back of my property, and is not willing to establish a peace treaty.......no matter how many eggs they lay. (her words....not mine)

Oh.....and she is an extremely good shot.

Just thought I would throw that out there.

Nite,

Mark

[baron555 934]

Oh.....and she is an extremely good shot.

With what?

.22? .45? 12 Gauge? .30-06? 9mm?

It will make a difference. Not much but you need to know your boundaries!!!

[BluesTraveler 0]

People in my profession are paid well, and it's a growing industry in Eastern Europe.

Male gigolo?

[mox 298]

People in my profession are paid well, and it's a growing industry in Eastern Europe.

Male gigolo?

Male pimp.

[Gone To Texas 0]

Oh.....and she is an extremely good shot.

With what?

.22? .45? 12 Gauge? .30-06? 9mm?

It will make a difference. Not much but you need to know your boundaries!!!

.45LC....snub nose revolver, .22 semi-automatic pistol, and .223 rifle. Haven't tried her on a shotgun yet. I might try her with a Winchester Defender 12 gauge first. Or perhaps a side by side 12. (not both barrels at once), and maybe also with my Colt 1911. (She enjoys the pistols a lot.)

[slim 1,525]

... because they cannot be the "man of the house" if they move to a country where they will have a hard time finding a job. And in some cases, because they are lazy to learn a new language, so they prefer to put the burden on the woman.

In my personal case, if I were legal to work there, I would probably consider it. I already tried in a different country, but I did not find an equivalent job (I searched seven months), so I was forced to return, because if I did not eat I would not be alive anymore.

There's one theory...

Employment opportunities, considerable difficulty in learning the language, Russia's nearly impossible to navigate bureaucratic system, dizzyingly difficult immigration system, lack of pie and cheetos.

Here's another...

Do you guys think that maybe if women overseas made in excess of 10 times what we made and then wanted to sponsor us over simply because of how we looked, we'd go for it? Don't you think that might play a small part in it?

And have you ever wondered, aside from the few that are here on VJ, why there's not a huge demand for RUB men?

All this stuff about the women being courageous and taking a leap of faith is a bunch of hogwash. Plain and simple, most of these women have hit the jackpot and plan on living the rest of their lives on easy street. Sure, many of them are leaving "good" lives behind and many more may have to come here and work - but, the bottom line is they're "moving up" by moving to the U.S. and most of them, especially the ones who are "sure they're so in love" are coming here becuase they know they're not going to get traded in for a newer model in a few years. Over there, young attractive women are so plentiful it's extremely difficult to keep a "rich" guy forever. Here, all they have to do is show up.

Courageous? Yeah right! Practical, maybe.

.45LC....snub nose revolver, .22 semi-automatic pistol, and .223 rifle. Haven't tried her on a shotgun yet. I might try her with a Winchester Defender 12 gauge first. Or perhaps a side by side 12. (not both barrels at once), and maybe also with my Colt 1911. (She enjoys the pistols a lot.)

My wife keeps asking me about the Winchester. I think she could probably handle it but I don't know. Eight shots is quite a bit for anyone!

[clueless_in_usa 8]

All this stuff about the women being courageous and taking a leap of faith is a bunch of hogwash. Plain and simple, most of these women have hit the jackpot and plan on living the rest of their lives on easy street. Sure, many of them are leaving "good" lives behind and many more may have to come here and work - but, the bottom line is they're "moving up" by moving to the U.S. and most of them, especially the ones who are "sure they're so in love" are coming here becuase they know they're not going to get traded in for a newer model in a few years. Over there, young attractive women are so plentiful it's extremely difficult to keep a "rich" guy forever. Here, all they have to do is show up.

Courageous? Yeah right! Practical, maybe.

Right in line with my comment before regarding what I told my fiancee about being faithful forever if I lived in Russia with her. I would be like a kid in a candy store ... it would be difficult not to want to try a few different flavors.

[BluesTraveler 0]

And have you ever wondered, aside from the few that are here on VJ, why there's not a huge demand for RUB men?

All this stuff about the women being courageous and taking a leap of faith is a bunch of hogwash. Plain and simple, most of these women have hit the jackpot and plan on living the rest of their lives on easy street. Sure, many of them are leaving "good" lives behind and many more may have to come here and work - but, the bottom line is they're "moving up" by moving to the U.S. and most of them, especially the ones who are "sure they're so in love" are coming here because they know they're not going to get traded in for a newer model in a few years. Over there, young attractive women are so plentiful it's extremely difficult to keep a "rich" guy forever. Here, all they have to do is show up.

Courageous? Yeah right! Practical, maybe.

And isn't that what every woman wants? The best provider for her children. Seriously. Any woman who can move from country x to country y, and country y has an improved standard of living, is going to do it. It is a part of the decision process. I don't think many women would leave Russia to move to Rwanda. Nothing against the country of Rwanda, but it would be a step down in standard of living.

[Kailey 3]

I think we are talking in parallel lines.. you guys speak about one quality - 'she has to be pretty’, ok there are many women who try to look good in Russia/Ukraine and some really succeed.

Same about women attitude towards men. Some are only seeking for 1 quality that a man can offer - a GK.

If so it’s an easy match.

What if he/she has more demands? Is it easy to find a woman of dreams?

Same hard it is to find a man who has all those qualities that we, women, love so much (and GK is not one of them, with all my respect to American citizenship).

The more demands you have the harder it is find somebody you would be willing not to just meet and sleep together, but really live with. It’s a mistake to think that all men are hunting for faces and nice bodies and all women are hunting for some well-to-do men.

All this stuff about the women being courageous and taking a leap of faith is a bunch of hogwash. Plain and simple, most of these women have hit the jackpot and plan on living the rest of their lives on easy street. Sure, many of them are leaving "good" lives behind and many more may have to come here and work - but, the bottom line is they're "moving up" by moving to the U.S. and most of them, especially the ones who are "sure they're so in love" are coming here becuase they know they're not going to get traded in for a newer model in a few years. Over there, young attractive women are so plentiful it's extremely difficult to keep a "rich" guy forever. Here, all they have to do is show up.

Courageous? Yeah right! Practical, maybe.

- i think it's more practical and definitely closer to come to Moscow than to the US in this case. More opportunities, bigger salaries, no K1 processes, no language barrier.

But i agree that yes, of course, some think it's 'easier' to go overseas and live a happy life there with her American husband. Some seem so great, especially if she can't talk to him and find out all the cockroaches he has in his head . From what i see on the Russian forums, many of those ‘smart women’ end up in shelters because that man turns out to be 5 minutes away from bankruptsy which is the lest of the troubles. Than she finds out he doesn't want her to learn the language, start working, buy a car, etc (his simple logic: she learns a language, starts to work and escapes in his car.. because he understands what a 'treasure' he is ).

So, please, don't present it as 'poor Russian women marry cool American men' . Cool men are rare beasts . And this is a global tendency - USA, RUssia or Rwanda , doesn't matter

Edited October 1, 2009 by Kailey

[slim 1,525]

Right in line with my comment before regarding what I told my fiancee about being faithful forever if I lived in Russia with her. I would be like a kid in a candy store ... it would be difficult not to want to try a few different flavors.

Exactly. It's way too easy to "trade her in" in Russia. FSU women know that and that's why many seek out an "old rich bald guy" here in the States. He doesn't have that same option because theres a much higher probability they can make a lasting relationship in the U.S.

And isn't that what every woman wants? The best provider for her children. Seriously. Any woman who can move from country x to country y, and country y has an improved standard of living, is going to do it. It is a part of the decision process. I don't think many women would leave Russia to move to Rwanda. Nothing against the country of Rwanda, but it would be a step down in standard of living.

Exactly. And that's why you don't see a huge number of men moving over there to be with their ladies. And nobody moves to Rwanda!

It’s a mistake to think that all men are hunting for faces and nice bodies and all women are hunting for some well-to-do men.

Actually, it's not a mistake at all. It's a scientific fact because we're biologically pre-programmed to do so. Genetically hard-wired to survive! You can argue semantics all day long and say there is romance involved, etc., but when it comes down to it, a man looks for an attractive mate and a woman looks for the best provider.

- i think it's more practical and definitely closer to come to Moscow than to the US in this case. More opportunities, bigger salaries, no K1 processes, no language barrier.

But i agree that yes, of course, some think it's 'easier' to go overseas and live a happy life there with her American husband. Some seem so great, especially if she can't talk to him and find out all the cockroaches he has in his head . From what i see on the Russian forums, many of those ‘smart women’ end up in shelters because that man turns out to be 5 minutes away from bankruptsy which is the lest of the troubles. Than she finds out he doesn't want her to learn the language, start working, buy a car, etc (his simple logic: she learns a language, starts to work and escapes in his car.. because he understands what a 'treasure' he is ).

So, please, don't present it as 'poor Russian women marry cool American men' . Cool men are rare beasts . And this is a global tendency - USA, RUssia or Rwanda , doesn't matter

That would be an awesome scenario - if the fact of the matter was that a "rich" man in Russia couldn't "trade in" his girlfriend or wife. Sure, not every man has women on the side, but many men do. Not so much in America.

[amberdima 6]

It’s a mistake to think that all men are hunting for faces and nice bodies and all women are hunting for some well-to-do men.

Actually, it's not a mistake at all. It's a scientific fact because we're biologically pre-programmed to do so. Genetically hard-wired to survive! You can argue semantics all day long and say there is romance involved, etc., but when it comes down to it, a man looks for an attractive mate and a woman looks for the best provider.

i guess i was silly. i was hunting for a man with great looks and intelligence for reproductive purposes. i want smart, good-looking kids. money can't buy that...

[clueless_in_usa 8]

But i agree that yes, of course, some think it's 'easier' to go overseas and live a happy life there with her American husband. Some seem so great, especially if she can't talk to him and find out all the cockroaches he has in his head . From what i see on the Russian forums, many of those ‘smart women’ end up in shelters because that man turns out to be 5 minutes away from bankruptsy which is the lest of the troubles. Than she finds out he doesn't want her to learn the language, start working, buy a car, etc (his simple logic: she learns a language, starts to work and escapes in his car.. because he understands what a 'treasure' he is ).

So, please, don't present it as 'poor Russian women marry cool American men' . Cool men are rare beasts . And this is a global tendency - USA, RUssia or Rwanda , doesn't matter

This paragraph seems so wrong to me ...

... no offense to you or an American woman, because I know that there are wonderful people everywhere. The problem for me was that the ones I liked were all taken (because there are so few), but...

...statements like the one above is one of the main reasons I felt forced to look elsewhere, and abandon my search for a lovely American woman. There is an implied conclusion that I have cockroaches in my head and I am 5 minutes away from bankruptcy, or even worse, that I am a wife beater ... only because of the way I look. I gave up because no American woman decided to take the time to get to know the real person under the fat, bald, and old shell. Therefore, at one point I decided to not waste my time anymore. I was highly disappointed.

The Russian counterparts (Belarusian, Ukrainian, Moldovan) instead showed interest in knowing the person under the skin (and they saw the shell too, because I always sent fresh photos) and that gave me enough motivation to poor my heart into this ... until I finally found a true treasure, especially because it was never her dream to move outside Russia. She saw the real me and gave me the time to show her that I am more than a shell. For that I want to reward her with my full effort to provide the happiest possible life together.

Even after having a young cutie next to me, the only idea that runs in the head of American women when they see me like that is that I am an old pervert that should be on a list of predators.

Three more things I want to say:

1) I learned to speak Russian because I do not want my fiancee to ever have to learn to speak English and be independent

2) If she saves enough money to buy a car, we can talk about it. Otherwise, she can continue using the bus, like she often did in Russia I bet that if I did so, she would never complain

3) I have never met an American woman who does not equate the love she gets from her man to the size of the ring he gives her. Most times I have heard that if he does not mortgage the house to buy a "good" ring (at least $10K or more), that means that he does not love her enough. Therefore, I do not love anybody because I will never buy a $10K or more ring. My fiancee was extremely happy with the ring she got (not going to say what it cost because I will be labeled as a cheap #######). At least she never complaint.

P.S.: Cool men are not the only ones who are rare. With all those demands, it is equally hard to find a cool woman.

All this is my opinion based on my own experience.

[eekee 182]

I don't care about things like rings. And I am not sure how you're intending to respond to kailey's post, but from the use of translated idioms it seems like a Russian. Cockroaches in the head just means problems. Everyone has them.

Edited October 1, 2009 by eekee

[BluesTraveler 0]

i guess i was silly. i was hunting for a man with great looks and intelligence for reproductive purposes. i want smart, good-looking kids. money can't buy that...

Haven't you ever heard of sperm banks, you can get the best kids money can buy. Hell you can Nobel Prize or cosmonaut sperm if you want it.

[visaveteran 1]

i guess i was silly. i was hunting for a man with great looks and intelligence for reproductive purposes. i want smart, good-looking kids. money can't buy that...

Haven't you ever heard of sperm banks, you can get the best kids money can buy. Hell you can Nobel Prize or cosmonaut sperm if you want it.

Just be careful of the Russian male "alcoholism gene." That would trump an IQ scores.