About Spanking and Child Abuse

[redglasses 1]

Yes

No

Yes

[pedroh 21]

I was raised old school, but I don't plan on spanking my kids.

[GabiandVi 34]

Yes, (though approve is a strong word in this case, do not disapprove is more apt.)

No!!!!!! There is a HUGE difference between spanking and beating. Spanking implies it is done in a certain way as a response to misbehavior. If that is not how it is being done, it is not spanking.

Yes.

I try to use other methods of discipline, but I was certainly spanked as a child. In fact, there were times it was not spanking, it was beating, but it was never abuse. And we were the children who were held up to ALL the neighborhood children. "Why can't you be more like the ***** children?"

[JVKn'CVO 11]

I don't consider a quick spank on the bottom child abuse, but i think the kid gets nothing out of it long term.

I was spanked as a kid and I resented it. The only lesson I learned is that I had to be good until I was stronger than my grandmother (who raised me), and when that time came I just did whatever I wanted.

Because of this, my parenting technique will be to talk to my kid a lot, from early age - build a bond of mutual respect with a lot of communication. A lot of talking and time outs will be my style.

Saludos,

Caro

Edited September 5, 2009 by JVKn'CVO

[KarenCee 3]

Time out works for me. My daughter hates it! Of course, she's 10 and time out only works for a few years. Grounding works too and taking really meaningful things away is working right now too.

I was spanked (water hose, belt, whatever he could get his hands on) and I resented it because dammit it hurt like hell and what was I supposed to learn from that except to be scared sh!tless. Oh and don't give me that line "this hurts me more than it will you". It wasn't HIS body being slapped around like a wet noodle.

And yes, I DO know the difference between child abuse and parental discipline. I just don't get hitting as a means of discipline. It has a very negative connotation for me and there's already enough of that in this world as it is. Just my opinion and I am certainly NOT judging anyone who decides to spank their child.

*gets ready for the onslaught of pro-spankers to descend*

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Yes, it is one way to discipline a child. My mom would pinch me too, on my side. And there was the belt, I don't like. It hurts too much.

[Nessa 23]

yes

no

no

i was grounded, not spanked, but i think both works. spanking is not about hurting a child, like slapping hard with the intent to hurt, IMO, it's more of a proving a point thing, you know what i mean?

[trinket 30]

Not sure

no

no

I was spanked only twice, and I don't think my brother was ever spanked. So I am against of spanking. In India there are no rules against teachers to spank kids at school (I think there is now but during my time there wasn't) and I was caned by our math teacher, along with everyone in the class because we were all shouting and making a mess. I think I was 8 year old back then, and yes everyone was scared of that teacher for a while but after a few weeks things got back to normal.

I am not totally against spanking but whenever we would have kids, I would rather want to use time out method than spanking. My husband on the other hand believes spanking is a very essential part of disciplining kids.

[rebeccajo 14]

A swat on the bottom with the hand is not abuse.

I'm not a fan of using 'tools' to aid in the lesson.

[k.loveh 0]

<EOM>

Yes, No, Yes.

I think it is fine as long as it's not given in over-the-top anger, or else it can be classified as abuse. Also as long as the child is talked to about 'why' they're being punished in a patient loving way. My dad was always patient and used to say that it hurt him more than it hurt me to give me a spanking (though he was never too harsh about it). He said that he wanted others to love me as he did, to be as decent of a human being as he could teach me. It made sense to me and gave me the understanding that I needed. I loved him the more because of it.

[k.loveh 0]

Not sure

no

no

I was spanked only twice, and I don't think my brother was ever spanked. So I am against of spanking. In India there are no rules against teachers to spank kids at school (I think there is now but during my time there wasn't) and I was caned by our math teacher, along with everyone in the class because we were all shouting and making a mess. I think I was 8 year old back then, and yes everyone was scared of that teacher for a while but after a few weeks things got back to normal.

I am not totally against spanking but whenever we would have kids, I would rather want to use time out method than spanking. My husband on the other hand believes spanking is a very essential part of disciplining kids.

When I was in India this past April-June, I saw this article. It seems that Teachers get away with too much, which absolutely should not be allowed. I heard too many tales about Teachers in India. Just a google search alone gives you a good idea what sort of problems are occurring within India's schools. Parents need to defend their children against abuse by non-family authoritive figures such as these.

Girl dies as teacher hurls duster

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS/In...how/4535350.cms

And another.

Teacher kills student

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1797762.cms

[caybee 21]

I have to qualify all my answers. I don't plan to discipline ours with spanking. I don't think it's ALWAYS abuse. My parents gave us a swat on the bottom on rare occasions, and I don't think we're any worse for it; I certainly don't resent them for it at all. But I don't like the idea of any form of hitting as discipline, and there are much more effective alternatives, IMO. Like Jenn's baby, Rayan will be perfectly behaved and if he makes a mistake, time out or reasoning with him will take care of it We need a tongue-in-cheek smiley.

[TimandJoyce 1]

Yes, no, yes...

And like others, as long as it doesn't "go over the line" . Which to some, may be a different line to others. My standards was I wouldn't spank my son more than 3 times on his butt. Always there. And NEVER hard to leave a bruise, but enough to make my point. If he got out of line, he needed to know that I was the authority in the household. ( I was a single parent from the time he was 4). I may have spanked him only twice in his life. Most times, I used my tone of voice, and he learned my "look". It was enough to let him know..don't push it.

I also played "baseball" with him. Three strikes, your out! So when I counted, "one...two..." he would stop misbehaving because he knew what happened on three. Guess that's the other reason I condone spanking. When a child learns what one is, then usually just the thought of getting one will make them stop doing what would cause a spanking in the first place.

I never let him get away with crocodile tears either...but that's another poll....

[AlHayatZween 2]

Don't care.

No.

Yes... i do not resent it because i deserved it in most cases.

if my kid misbehaves, i'm sending him to spend his summers w/ MaWilson.

Edited September 8, 2009 by AlHayatZween

[frostysoftyeaton 6]

I don't approve

Yes, it is child abuse

Yes, and I will not spank YOUR children (I have none )

ahhh the non christian approach i believe that is what is wrong with the world today children need discipline and structure on the same note though spanking does not mean beating and some children it does not work with so alternate forms of punishment should be exsplored