hi :)

[slim 1,525]

Hey, wait! I never said that I like to shoot. I do not even like to hold a gun.

And you call yourself an American?

Unless you have Chuck Norris skills (and even he likes guns) you need to warm up to them just a little.

For a mascot, I vote for Cheburashka. Wearing a condom. :|

Excellent choice!

Or how bout Dolgoruki holding a big 36-count box of "RUBbers" that features Cheburashka wearing a condom?

[Brad and Vika 129]

You did it wrong, Clueless. As we all know, Russians (in Russia) live in constant poverty, where there is constant revolution and there are mile long breadlines that you have to walk through the snow to get to, uphill both ways. They are DESPERATE to get to the land of milk, honey, and affordable health care. But if they can't do that, they'll take the US as a runner-up. (ba-dumpa! Thank you, tip your waitresses, I'll be here all weekend!) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that if you want a Russian woman, you have to get one from Russia, because they're so desperate that they'll marry anyone, which means old fat bald men like us can legally pay for sex, which is awesome. OTOH, you really need to have a "new bride" plan every couple years. Which isn't too bad when you really think about it. If you're 55, married to a hawt sexy 19 year-old, once she hits 21 she's already starting to age. Time to get another 19 year-old.

For a mascot, I vote for Cheburashka. Wearing a condom. :|

I just want to add that this is simple math. New young bride = about $10,000 including transport, meeting in person, filing fees. $15k if you do a prenup with a bonus. 3 year average marraige = $5k per year (a real bargain in these uncertain times). Anything past three years is just gravy. So what I am saying is that you should append cheap to the old, fat, and bald frame of reference - because we all acknowledge the need to save money in our relationships so that we can afford the inflated price of ammunition and pie (or the makings of pie).

[slim 1,525]

Or you could just do like me and import a hot young wife to work two jobs to pay off all of your debt and whenever she's not busy working or making sandwiches she's doing sexual favors for you. Talk about a bargain - after my initial investment of around $5000, I've already had a return of over $20,000 and this year's shaping up to be even better, not to mention all the sexual favors!

If you do it right, it grows exponentially because she'll learn more English, figure out the system here, and her jobs will lead to even higher paying jobs in the future. Plus she'll learn your preferences in the sexual favors department! We're still working on the contractual agreement, but once this thing comes out on video, we're millionaires!

[BluesTraveler 0]

I vote for Cheburashka. Wearing a condom

Good choice! Cheburashka, condom on his head, guns in one hand, sexy Russian girl wrapped around his leg, holding up a pie for him. Now that's a mascot!

Edited September 7, 2009 by BluesTraveler

[visaveteran 1]

It's time, IMJ, to to knock off the "pie" and "guns" insider jokes and move on. I think two years of junior high school level jokes on these subjects is long enough. There was never a lot of hardy laughs flowing from these jokes, even in the beginning...now it has gotten pitiful.

If you need to make jokes like these to feel accepted, you need to get back into counseling or take your meds.

And, if nothing else, how about a little mercy?

[mox 298]

And, if nothing else, how about a little mercy?

Good form vv. Your post certainly inclines me to mercy. Especially since you asked so politely and in a non-confrontational way.

How 'bout this: stfu, grab a slice of pie in one hand and a rifle in the other, and join your fellow middle schoolers in a hearty round of "Cheburashka's got a condom on his head!" (to the tune of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer") Or if you insist on whining at least take it to the UK forum where they'll appreciate it. Otherwise some of the rest of us might get the notion to snap your bra strap on the playground.

And hey, I thought it was supposed to be the granola hippie librulz trying to take our guns away, not the neocon wingnut. #######?

(serious answer: if you don't like the tone of the forum, change it through discussion, not insults.)

[Brad and Vika 129]

If you don't like the tune - shut the radio off. No meds or counseling required. You will be missed.

[baron555 934]

It's time, IMJ, to to knock off the "pie" and "guns" insider jokes and move on. I think two years of junior high school level jokes on these subjects is long enough. There was never a lot of hardy laughs flowing from these jokes, even in the beginning...now it has gotten pitiful.

If you need to make jokes like these to feel accepted, you need to get back into counseling or take your meds.

And, if nothing else, how about a little mercy?

Don't know about you but when I hold my Garand in my hands, the balance, the feel, the history.......it's like eating Peach pie.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

I vote for Cheburashka. Wearing a condom

Good choice! Cheburashka, condom on his head, guns in one hand, sexy Russian girl wrapped around his leg, holding up a pie for him. Now that's a mascot!

The head of Cheburaska is too big for the condom ... unless ...

... anyway, why does it have to go over its head? Or is there a head I have not seen? I will go and check my Cheburaska at home.

[baron555 934]

It's time, IMJ, to to knock off the "pie" and "guns" insider jokes and move on. I think two years of junior high school level jokes on these subjects is long enough. There was never a lot of hardy laughs flowing from these jokes, even in the beginning...now it has gotten pitiful.

If you need to make jokes like these to feel accepted, you need to get back into counseling or take your meds.

And, if nothing else, how about a little mercy?

Don't know about you but when I hold my Garand in my hands, the balance, the feel, the history.......it's like eating Peach pie.

Oh, and the kick of a Mosin!!!! I know why Vodka was invented!

[BluesTraveler 0]

The head of Cheburaska is too big for the condom ... unless ...

... anyway, why does it have to go over its head? Or is there a head I have not seen? I will go and check my Cheburaska at home.

Maybe 2 different condoms one over each ear? Like ear muffs?

[visaveteran 1]

And, if nothing else, how about a little mercy?

Good form vv. Your post certainly inclines me to mercy. Especially since you asked so politely and in a non-confrontational way.

How 'bout this: stfu, grab a slice of pie in one hand and a rifle in the other, and join your fellow middle schoolers in a hearty round of "Cheburashka's got a condom on his head!" (to the tune of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer") Or if you insist on whining at least take it to the UK forum where they'll appreciate it. Otherwise some of the rest of us might get the notion to snap your bra strap on the playground.

And hey, I thought it was supposed to be the granola hippie librulz trying to take our guns away, not the neocon wingnut. #######?

(serious answer: if you don't like the tone of the forum, change it through discussion, not insults.)

As the originator of the pie/gun "humor" I expected you to be an early responder. Your low grade humor about guns and pies keeps you from owning up to just who you are in regards Russian women, engagement or marriage. Yuck it up and keep hiding out while serving as the pretend resident expert. Just one problem...you don't seem to have a relationship...or visa journey if you will. Obviously that's not required to be the forum big cheese and head goofball with attitude.

But you carry no standing with me. You're a wise guy, class clown who enjoys hiding behind humor...usually at someone else's expense.

(Real answer...get a new hobby.)

[mox 298]

As the originator of the pie/gun "humor" I expected you to be an early responder. Your low grade humor about guns and pies keeps you from owning up to just who you are in regards Russian women, engagement or marriage. Yuck it up and keep hiding out while serving as the pretend resident expert. Just one problem...you don't seem to have a relationship...or visa journey if you will. Obviously that's not required to be the forum big cheese and head goofball with attitude.

(Real answer...get a new hobby.)

I might be able to claim credit for pie, I don't remember. Slim gets full credit for guns though, iirc.

You might want to actually read this forum before sticking your foot in your mouth. I posted about my own AOS just a few days ago. I don't post specific details about my relationship, and if you cared to read this forum you seem to care so much about, you would know why. It's not a secret, but in addition to making demands about the tone of this forum you should actually read what we write. It's more interesting to me that you're so curious about my relationship.

But you carry no standing with me. You're a wise guy, class clown who enjoys hiding behind humor...usually at someone else's expense.

This is the second time you've made it a point to say this. It's the second time I'm telling you that I don't care. If somebody wants to listen to what I have to say, then ok. If not, then ok too. But with regards to humor, I'm only "funny at somebody else's expense" when they act a fool. Which is probably why you're occasionally on the receiving end of it.

And by the way, I don't see how the relationship I'm in or not in has any bearing on the advice I give when I'm not hiding behind humor at somebody else's expense. If I'm wrong about something, please correct me. I'm not perfect but I do know a fair amount about this process.

[BluesTraveler 0]

(Real answer...get a new hobby.)

VisaVeteran, if you don't like Mox's posts, use the ignore button. It works. Really it does.

[TayRivers 4]

Come on people play nice. Personal attacks are against TOS.