Ever feel like slapping someone elses child?

[Heracles 417]

Easy Momma Bear

I don't think anyone was "supporting" what that guy did.

It's a pity that little crybaby didn't have you for a mom.... I am betting the would have needed a cop and ambulance.

This guy obviously lost it and probably has issues but that doesn't change the problem of disrespectful kids who run amok anywhere they go. She's two but what about seven or eight year olds? Should we just sit there and take it while their parents cheer them on. No. I will shove my foot up the parents azz. One of us will be arrested the other will be in a coma and probably have to buy new clothes when they finally come out of their coma, due to them going out of style by then.

Kids are Kids. Everyone knows that but kids need boundaries. Some parents don't seem to get that. A kid could be playing baseball and crack my window, I wouldn't care nor bother the parent with asking for money. I would talk to them about it but that is about it. Whereas, if I was eating at a restaurant and I kid knocked something off my table onto me, and the parents had not said anything to them for running around, I would shove the plate up the kid's parents azz. There is a place and time for fun, however, not when it disturbs others. What that tells me is that that parent does not give a ####### about me or my time, therefore, I will make them give a ####### when they have to have surgery to remove my foot from their azz.

Edited September 3, 2009 by Booyah!

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Probably because they didn't have spray cans in the bronze age.

They did have chisels however, and yes - there is grafitti

It was pretty notorious in ancient Rome of course. But when it was perfectly permissable to buy and rape slaves (of any age), I find it difficult that anyone could seriously argue that parenting was any better in such an age...

Ah okay. How about 30 or 40 years ago then?

You don't agree with anyone presenting experience of their own or that of others from 20, 30 or 40 years ago; however, you are first to generalize yourself by stating that parenting is as good as it's ever been. Strange, considering the recent report of the huge increase in the number of unwed and single mothers trying to raise kids. You're basically insinuating that the possibility of a change in attitude and culture is slim, or even non-existent. 50 years ago the US had segregation now it does not. And that is an enormous shift in culture and attitude. Yet I am expected to believe that something such as parenting, has not changed an inch. The attitude and culture alone has change so much over the last few decades. Therefore, it's not that hard to see how parenting skills or lack of could have changed too.

Are there still great parents? yes.

Are there noticeably more bad or negligent parents? in my experience yes. Maybe your experience from the UK differs to that of my own.

One of the things I find very odd about this is that you appear to believe that abstract concepts (in this case, "good parenting") are things that are readily quantifiable.

Personally, I think that's rather silly.

[MNCouple 3]

Interesting discussion... quite a bouncing around, eh?

I have two children and I don't know if a little open hand pop on the diaper counts as a slap these days. Sometimes I'd need to physically interact with my children because just talking didn't quite get across, little ones are rational intellectual debaters. So, if they went and tried pulling the tv off the shelf, they'd get the stern no-no, a little diaper pop, get picked up and carried to another location far away from the tv. I think one time when my older daughter was 9 or 10 she really p**sed me off and she got a slap on the back of her thigh. But I think that may be the only time. I never really spanked them, certainly no slaps to the face, punches, being hit with objects...

Though, when I was a child, my father would spank me at the onset of poor behavior. I love my father very much but as a child, he was definitely the disciplinarian and he'd do whatever he felt was right to get us to act properly. I do not feel like I was ever abused, I have no horrible memories, and have an amazing relationship with him and respect him greatly. So, I am not one of these believers that giving a child a spanking for bad behavior is the equivalent of child abuse.

The other thing that I do is refer to behavior as bad and good, or acceptable or unacceptable. Never take it to the level of them personally, for instance saying "be a good girl" no, I say, "I expect proper behavior and if you misbehave there will be consequences."

Now, as to the event that the OP shared. If an older gentleman had the guts to say that to me when my toddler was crying. I would have told him to mind his own business and that he could go to another part of the store or wait a few minutes and I'd leave. If he made the move to strike my child, I'd have kicked my foot across his knee taking him down to the floor. I would then have called store security, the police and my husband within moments.

I do remember one occasion when I was in the grocery store and my younger daughter was a toddler, still in diapers and was throwing a full blown temper tantrum. I placed her in the cart while she rolled around screaming. I had to get diapers and milk and a few other essentials. I was a working mom, you can't always schedule your activities around the "good" behavior of your children. So I simply had to ignore her cries and do what I needed to do. Attention to a temper tantrum tends to give more power to it and increases repeat behavior. I got a ton of nasty looks... and I saw a few people biting their tongue. But you know what they didn't know? She was severely lactose intolerant and suffered terrible stomache pains and we didn't learn about it for a while... she also has Asperger's... she was also just a cranky little toddler who didn't feel good, didn't get what she wanted and her only way to manage her feelings was in a physical little outburst.

In public places that are set up to include children, toddlers, and babies, those people without children have to have some level of expectation that a child who cries just might be there. Now, I never took my toddlers to bars, pubs, R rated movies, dances, etc. Any place where it wasn't really kid friendly, I'd think first. Grocery store, doctor's office, disney movie, wal-mart, the pharmacy, etc. You have to realize you may encounter bratty or noisey kids.

At least in my opinion.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

the kid is 2 YEARS OLD. Sometimes there is no "shutting up" a 2 yo. If it gets out of hand, then the best thing to do is leave the store. Shes 2, not 10 or 8 or even 5....2! I would probably be in jail if this happened to me because I would have laid that old man out for laying his hands on my child, although he gave a warning so I would have just removed myself and child away from him. But if he persisted, i would do whatever i needed to to get him away from my kid.

Spoiled rotten brats in stores, that are tearing the place up and runnig amuck are different from a crying 2 yo.

I think we have all given "that" mom the look when she's oblivious when their kids are acting like hellions in public.

[GabiandVi 34]

I also hope nobody dares throw out the you don't know what is wrong with this child because every second kid seems to be autistic in the US. Yes there are kids who genuinely have medical issues; however, it seems autism is now the new ADHD. Never bad or negligent parenting of course.

One guy loses it and strikes a child, how dare he bla bla bla. Yet thousands of kids are abused or neglected each year by their own parents but that is justified as freedom of choice. Unfortunately, in the long-term people like myself end up having to literally pay for these parent's choices or lack of. Funny how I don't get a choice with that but the parent sure as hell does.

First of all, I won't address the broad, baseless generalization that you have made about "American" children. But what does this man's action have to do with child abuse or neglect by legal guardians? They are totally separate issues. Parental child abuse does not excuse child abuse by strangers. That's called criminal assault. This is not a minor or humorous issue. NO ONE has the right to strike a stranger's two-year-old. Think about that for just two seconds. TWO-YEAR-OLD! Do any of you supporting this action have any concept of what that means? TWO-YEARS-OLD. A year ago, they weren't walking. Two years ago, all they could do was sleep, eat, ######, and cry. A lot of two-year-olds aren't even verbal. For GOD'S sake, consider what you are laughing about.

Easy Momma Bear

I don't think anyone was "supporting" what that guy did.

It's a pity that little crybaby didn't have you for a mom.... I am betting the would have needed a cop and ambulance.

Well, when someone suggests he will pay the guys bail and another claims he will pay for his defense, I would consider that supporting his actions.

And to be honest, I'm pretty laid back about a lot of things and usually try to avoid conflict, but I think I might actually have tackled that guy and done whatever necessary to stop him from getting up until the cops came. However, I probably would have stopped it before it got to that. First of all, when my two-year-old starts to misbehave in public, (and she does often, NOT because I'm a bad parent but because she is a two-year-old who thinks she is the center of the universe because she is developmentally on age) I would address it immediately by taking something away from her, or, if that didn't work, taking her out of the public place. If some F*cking idiot butted is F*cking nose in before I had gone through my arsenal, I would have told him clearly and firmly in other words to "butt the #### out before I humiliated his f*cking azz." I'm not a perfect parent, but that guy was obviously a total LOSER parent and person in general. And NO stranger lays a hand on my child.

[NickD 203]

Very careful at the grocery store pushing a cart with little kids running all over the place, but can't say the same about parents pushing strollers at Disneyworld. If they cry, so what, you can walk away from that, but not if strapped up tight in an airliner with a kid screaming for hours behind you. Suggested to one mom, she nurse her kid, that sucking could release air pressure trapped in her babies ears due to altitude changes, why are some parent so dumb. I can't nurse but can gently hold the babies nose closed and blow very gently into their mouths to pop their ears back out.

Ha, would like to see that guy threatened my granddaughter, he would end up picking up his pieces off the floor, But would never happen, she's happy with her grandpa, it's takes self assurance and a friendly smile to keep kids from crying or a little TLC when they get tired. See way too many parents way up tight, shouldn't be parents or at least get some training. When they get up tight, so do their kids.

Yeah, I will even go to church to be with my granddaughter, in-laws get up tight when we have fun, but don't say the preacher doesn't know what the hell he is talking about anyway. Just get up and go to the rear, even outside, so we can have fun. Life can be fun or miserable, depends on how you make it.

[Marilyn. 340]

according to this article.. he actaully grabbed the child and started slapping her

STONE MOUNTAIN, Ga. – Police say a 61-year-old man annoyed with a crying 2-year-old girl at a suburban Atlanta Walmart slapped the child several times after warning the toddler's mother to keep her quiet.

A police report says after the stranger hit the girl at least four times, he said: "See, I told you I would shut her up."

Roger Stephens of Stone Mountain is charged with felony cruelty to children. It was unclear if he had an attorney and a telephone call to his home Wednesday was unanswered.

Authorities say the girl and her mother were shopping Monday when the toddler began crying. The police report says Stephens approached the mother and said, "If you don't shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you."

Authorities say Stephens then grabbed the 2-year-old and slapped her. The child began screaming and Stephens was arrested. Police say an examination showed the girl's face was slightly red.

A call to the girl's mother, identified in the police report as Sonya Mathews of Grayson, was answered by a woman who identified herself as Sabrina Mathis, the victim's aunt.

Mathis said Wednesday that the girl is doing fine.

"As of today, she has really forgotten about it," Mathis said. "She's been playing."

Mathis said the girl's mother was shaken up over the incident.

"She's as well as to be expected," Mathis said. "Right now she's just trying to calm down."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090903/ap_on_...r_slaps_toddler

[Marilyn. 340]

oh and it seems like he actually followed the mom and child into a another aisle..

Sonya Mathews, the mother of the 2-year-old child, told police that both were walking in the aisles of the Rockbridge Road store when Roger Stephens, 61, approached and said “if you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you,” according to a police report.

A few moments later, in another aisle, Stephens grabbed the 2-year-old and slapped her across the face four or five times, according to the report.

Stephens then told Mathews, “See, I told you I would shut her up,” according to the report.

A bystander held Stephens until store security came to assist, according to a WSB-TV report.

When police arrived, Stephens said that he slapped the child and that he apologized to Mathews, according to the report.

Stephens was charged with felony cruelty to children. He had his first court appearance Tuesday and is being held at the Gwinnett County Detention Center without bond, according to the Gwinnett Police Department spokesman Cpl. David Schiralli.

http://www.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/man-slaps...ing-129235.html

[Amby 490]

I'm not a big fan of kids because they're loud, need attention, act crazy, ect. I think being around kids is ok in moderation, but I like the idea of giving them back to their parents when they start doing things like screaming in public and such. I've spent enough time around little kids to know that they usually shut up if you just ignore them, and I think that's why a lot of parents do nothing about it and ignore them even if they're really embarrassed by it because that's what works. I can't believe that guy smacked her. I'm sure the mother was in shock and wasn't really sure what to do because it was so bizarre.

[GabiandVi 34]

I'm not a big fan of kids because they're loud, need attention, act crazy, ect. I think being around kids is ok in moderation, but I like the idea of giving them back to their parents when they start doing things like screaming in public and such. I've spent enough time around little kids to know that they usually shut up if you just ignore them, and I think that's why a lot of parents do nothing about it and ignore them even if they're really embarrassed by it because that's what works. I can't believe that guy smacked her. I'm sure the mother was in shock and wasn't really sure what to do because it was so bizarre.

I agree totally. I completely respect the feelings of others who choose not to have children or don't really enjoy children. And who can blame a stranger for being annoyed by a crying child, though they have to be realistic and accept that they did the same thing when they were children and their poor mothers had to deal with them. And you are absolutely right that often when you ignore crying, it stops. The reason for the crying is to get attention. If you starve the crying of attention, it stops, like a fire starved of oxygen. But, because I respect the feelings of others, I don't usually ignore the crying in public.

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm not a big fan of kids because they're loud, need attention, act crazy, ect. I think being around kids is ok in moderation, but I like the idea of giving them back to their parents when they start doing things like screaming in public and such. I've spent enough time around little kids to know that they usually shut up if you just ignore them, and I think that's why a lot of parents do nothing about it and ignore them even if they're really embarrassed by it because that's what works. I can't believe that guy smacked her. I'm sure the mother was in shock and wasn't really sure what to do because it was so bizarre.

I agree totally. I completely respect the feelings of others who choose not to have children or don't really enjoy children. And who can blame a stranger for being annoyed by a crying child, though they have to be realistic and accept that they did the same thing when they were children and their poor mothers had to deal with them. And you are absolutely right that often when you ignore crying, it stops. The reason for the crying is to get attention. If you starve the crying of attention, it stops, like a fire starved of oxygen. But, because I respect the feelings of others, I don't usually ignore the crying in public.

How old is your child?

Oh never mind, I see - 2.

Do you really think all crying is just to get attention?

Edited September 3, 2009 by rebeccajo

[Amby 490]

rebecca the kids i'm around aren't mine. the youngest is 1 and she never throws tantrums (yet?!). the oldest one is 3 and she only ever drives me crazy at at home, never in public. i just tell her she's driving me crazy and she laughs at me and says all evil like and says "i know". then i say well i'm going to give you a time out if you don't stop driving me crazy and then she says noooooooooo but she stops. i refuse to watch the middle one because he throws tantrums over everything. he's so dramatic. he's one of those scream in the store kids. i feel sorry for his parents because they give the screaming attention like oooh ahhh poor baby what's wrong. ick.

[GabiandVi 34]

I'm not a big fan of kids because they're loud, need attention, act crazy, ect. I think being around kids is ok in moderation, but I like the idea of giving them back to their parents when they start doing things like screaming in public and such. I've spent enough time around little kids to know that they usually shut up if you just ignore them, and I think that's why a lot of parents do nothing about it and ignore them even if they're really embarrassed by it because that's what works. I can't believe that guy smacked her. I'm sure the mother was in shock and wasn't really sure what to do because it was so bizarre.

I agree totally. I completely respect the feelings of others who choose not to have children or don't really enjoy children. And who can blame a stranger for being annoyed by a crying child, though they have to be realistic and accept that they did the same thing when they were children and their poor mothers had to deal with them. And you are absolutely right that often when you ignore crying, it stops. The reason for the crying is to get attention. If you starve the crying of attention, it stops, like a fire starved of oxygen. But, because I respect the feelings of others, I don't usually ignore the crying in public.

How old is your child?

She is almost 3, and she is beginning to outgrow the terrible twos. We don't have to deal with this sort of thing often anymore. But, today, for example, as I was waiting for her prescriptions to be filled and she was irritible and it was time for her nap and she had been through a rough day yesterday and was still strung out from it, she had a little fit. I could not leave because I needed her medicines, so I had to deal with the crying. I tried comforting. I tried cajoling. I tried distracting. I would have tried removing a coveted item earlier if she weren't so stressed out, but I used that as a final move, and it worked. It broke my heart when she said she was sorry for crying and pulled my arm over so she could rest her tired head on it, but she stopped crying and settled down.

[rebeccajo 14]

rebecca the kids i'm around aren't mine. the youngest is 1 and she never throws tantrums (yet?!). the oldest one is 3 and she only ever drives me crazy at at home, never in public. i just tell her she's driving me crazy and she laughs at me and says all evil like and says "i know". then i say well i'm going to give you a time out if you don't stop driving me crazy and then she says noooooooooo but she stops. i refuse to watch the middle one because he throws tantrums over everything. he's so dramatic. he's one of those scream in the store kids. i feel sorry for his parents because they give the screaming attention like oooh ahhh poor baby what's wrong. ick.

They just need to take him home.

Whenever he starts it, tell him he's got till the count of 10 to calm down. When he doesn't, everybody leaves the store.

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm not a big fan of kids because they're loud, need attention, act crazy, ect. I think being around kids is ok in moderation, but I like the idea of giving them back to their parents when they start doing things like screaming in public and such. I've spent enough time around little kids to know that they usually shut up if you just ignore them, and I think that's why a lot of parents do nothing about it and ignore them even if they're really embarrassed by it because that's what works. I can't believe that guy smacked her. I'm sure the mother was in shock and wasn't really sure what to do because it was so bizarre.

I agree totally. I completely respect the feelings of others who choose not to have children or don't really enjoy children. And who can blame a stranger for being annoyed by a crying child, though they have to be realistic and accept that they did the same thing when they were children and their poor mothers had to deal with them. And you are absolutely right that often when you ignore crying, it stops. The reason for the crying is to get attention. If you starve the crying of attention, it stops, like a fire starved of oxygen. But, because I respect the feelings of others, I don't usually ignore the crying in public.

How old is your child?

She is almost 3, and she is beginning to outgrow the terrible twos. We don't have to deal with this sort of thing often anymore. But, today, for example, as I was waiting for her prescriptions to be filled and she was irritible and it was time for her nap and she had been through a rough day yesterday and was still strung out from it, she had a little fit. I could not leave because I needed her medicines, so I had to deal with the crying. I tried comforting. I tried cajoling. I tried distracting. I would have tried removing a coveted item earlier if she weren't so stressed out, but I used that as a final move, and it worked. It broke my heart when she said she was sorry for crying and pulled my arm over so she could rest her tired head on it, but she stopped crying and settled down.

When Zachary was little, I made it a point to get our errands done in the mornings while he was still 'fresh'. We were home by lunch time and then he went down for his nap.