Do the Research... and whatever else!

[Minya's wife 24]

After reading much of this thread I gotta say, I sure hope this guy is a knight in shining armor and a good lay cuz comparing being separated to death is outrageous. I've been through it and cripes no man is worth all the heartache, heartbreak, drama and trauma. This husband of yours best be all that, a bag a chips and a puffy taco. If we hear back from you (after he gets here) that he's a total asswipe I'm gonna be pissed!

[doodlebugg 10]

wow I feel better now after reading the rest of the thread. I'm very sorry for the loss of your triplets, truly I am. I don't see what it has to do with the other thread where you quoted me but it is a sad situation. That being said, I think if someone holds that much attachment, needs their man/fiance/husband to the extent that the absence is likened to a death, maybe that's not such a healthy situation and you should get some help? I say that with all sincerity. Only after you are happy being alone with yourself will you truly truly be happy sharing you with someone else. Just food for thought.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

jesus christ this went downhill fast.

[morocco4ever 63]

Can I play the devils advocate for a moment? I had a stillbirth once, so I feel qualified to answer. That was one of the most horrible things I have ever had to deal with in life. I went through so many strange and frightening stages before I finally accepted the death.

Please indulge me as I make my point. With the death of your child it is final, and nothing you do is ever going to change the outcome. I can't describe how horrible it is, but the only path from there is healing.

The visa process, although no where near as devastating, is day after day of the unknown. The stress is very real when you don't know what to expect in your future. And in our case the denial was like having my heart slammed into a brick wall. Over a year after the denial and no one really could tell me what to expect. This process is not for the weak. I guess my point isn't the level of the trauma, but the length of time where one is instant, and the other is drawn out.

There really is no way to honestly compare the 2 IMO. But I am just trying to put it into a perspective that makes sense to me.

[ya falaha! 0]

I know where you're coming from M4E about the whole unknown thing. However, I've also seen the other side ie when they get here. ####### once you see the other side you're like...what in hell was I whining and moaning about? I wish everyone could see a preview of actually living day to day with their spouses. They'd be celebrating A/P. My husband's out of state for work and I couldn't be having a better time. Haha.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

thanks for sharing that.

[Jenn! 918]

There really is no way to honestly compare the 2 IMO.

Absolutely.

I have been separated from my husband, but I have not experienced the loss of a child. Not being able to compare, I guess I should probably just keep my mouth shut. Instinct tells me that putting these two things on the same levels is insulting to those who have lost children, but I guess that's just not always the case. I sincerely hope I never have to experience the loss of a child and my heart goes out to everyone who has. It's hard for me to extend the same kind of sympathy to those in LDR's.

I don't feel that I "bashed" anyone in this thread. I think that goes along with the first post in this thread...it's hard to read intent behind words on the screen. I also don't think there was anything wrong with what doodlebugg said in that other thread.

That said, many people (including myself) could probably self-censor a little bit better sometimes.

[morocco4ever 63]

I know where you're coming from M4E about the whole unknown thing. However, I've also seen the other side ie when they get here. ####### once you see the other side you're like...what in hell was I whining and moaning about? I wish everyone could see a preview of actually living day to day with their spouses. They'd be celebrating A/P. My husband's out of state for work and I couldn't be having a better time. Haha.

OMG.....

My husband went to Morocco for a month. Although I did miss him I can't say life wasn't....er...uh...peaceful , as well as a clean house. Having them here does bring on a new set of things to deal with doesn't it?

[Staashi 371]

After reading much of this thread I gotta say, I sure hope this guy is a knight in shining armor and a good lay cuz comparing being separated to death is outrageous. I've been through it and cripes no man is worth all the heartache, heartbreak, drama and trauma. This husband of yours best be all that, a bag a chips and a puffy taco. If we hear back from you (after he gets here) that he's a total asswipe I'm gonna be pissed!

Moody!!! OMFG!!! :rofl: puffy Taco.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I know where you're coming from M4E about the whole unknown thing. However, I've also seen the other side ie when they get here. ####### once you see the other side you're like...what in hell was I whining and moaning about? I wish everyone could see a preview of actually living day to day with their spouses. They'd be celebrating A/P. My husband's out of state for work and I couldn't be having a better time. Haha.

OMG.....

My husband went to Morocco for a month. Although I did miss him I can't say life wasn't....er...uh...peaceful , as well as a clean house. Having them here does bring on a new set of things to deal with doesn't it?

B1tches!!! Bad, bad wives.

[Tunisia216 2]

B1tches!!! Bad, bad wives.

[Nothing1234 2]

Wow...

What's a puffy taco? Anything like a pink taco?

[morocco4ever 63]

There really is no way to honestly compare the 2 IMO.

Absolutely.

I have been separated from my husband, but I have not experienced the loss of a child. Not being able to compare, I guess I should probably just keep my mouth shut. Instinct tells me that putting these two things on the same levels is insulting to those who have lost children, but I guess that's just not always the case. I sincerely hope I never have to experience the loss of a child and my heart goes out to everyone who has. It's hard for me to extend the same kind of sympathy to those in LDR's.

I don't feel that I "bashed" anyone in this thread. I think that goes along with the first post in this thread...it's hard to read intent behind words on the screen. I also don't think there was anything wrong with what doodlebugg said in that other thread.

That said, many people (including myself) could probably self-censor a little bit better sometimes.

That's the thing Jenn, they aren't on the same level, so there really is no comparing the two. I was merely trying to understand the OP's stand point, and that is how I could make sense of it. Perhaps I am way off on my line of interpretation. I don't think you need to keep your mouth shut, but perhaps everyone needs to step back and try to read between the lines. Some people just aren't as articulate in their way of expressing their view point. God knows I have been guilty of that myself.

[Staashi 371]

Wow...

What's a puffy taco? Anything like a pink taco?

Maybe like a chalupa or a gordita??? hmmmm But I bet it's yummy!

[Jenn! 918]

I think a puffy pink taco is a sign of infection.