separation due to violence PLZ help

[mist man 0]

Hi Everybody,

I came to U.S about 14 months ago through a K1 visa, we got married after 2 days, applied for AOS within 40 days,

then after a while got my C.G.C about 3 months ago.

we had a lot of fighting all the time , she didn't tell me from the beginning that she is under medication due to mentally unstable issue, this wasn't the problem , she is also unsecure person , accuses me all the time without any reason and wake up in the middle of the night to fight me with abusive words and hits or scratch , and i took all of that, i had the hope that she will try to change , but she even refused to go to a doctor together to try to help solving that problem , and then she stopped taking the medicine to try to prove to me that she doesn't need it which made everything worse, i tried so hard more than anybody can imagine, she broke my things many times, kicked me out when she was in her bad mode many times , and then when she back to her normal mode she calls me to try to make me come back, after sleeping in the car for two or 3 days i come back and then nothing change she start the same thing again, i know that it is out of her control but she also never tried to let me help her. the last time we fought was extremely bad, she called me horrible names and scratched me till in my shoulder and my back until i bleed, i tried to take my cloths and leave to avoid loosing control, but she didn't let me i told he i will go if i have to call the police to let me go , and it end up that i called the police , when the police came and saw the scratches on my body they had to arrest her ,

i didn't want that to happen but it did happen i tried to get her out in the same day but they told me that it has to be overnight , i went the second day in the morning to pay the charge to let her out, and they told me that we can't be in contact for 72 hours , since that time we are separated plus they gave her a court date for domestic battery which will be in few days , in the mean time we are separated and just have contact by phone sometimes , she became more dangerous after i called the police , she doesn't think about everything she had done to me as much she thing that she has to revenge bec of that, and she told me that she called the immigration and she is going to make sure that she cancel my G.C .

i don't know if she has the power to do that or not , and i dont know what should i do with the immigration in the mean time

i contacted an immigration attorney for consult, and he told me that i have to wait for her to file for a divorce , for some reason i didn't trust what the attorney said and i decided to contact another attorney who said that i have to file for divorce myself and to take an order of protection against her or i have to wait till my GC expires and before the expiration with about 10 days i can apply for the new one , I'm very confused and i don't know what to do Please i need help , and also i don't want to make that order of protection because that will not help her in her court date , and i don't want to cause her any troubles at all , even though she is trying to hurt me but all what i want is to protect myself from her without causing her any troubles at all. plz also let me know if there is anyway to do that without an attorney because i can't actually afford an attorney in the mean time after all what happen plus that i do not trust those local attorney since everyone has a diff suggestion

Thanks in advance for everybody trying to help.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Sounds like you have a 2 year conditional green card.

You can file for divorce, then proceed with removal of conditions to get the 10 year greencard.

No need to wait for her.

I would get that order of protection, if she is that unstable. You could be the one that ends up in jail.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Even though you dont want to "harm" her.. you should protect yourself from this unstable, abusive woman. Get that order of protection and get away from her.

Im sorry for you both. Hoepfully, she can get some help. But, you need to get away from her and protect yourself in any legal way that you can.

[sara..... 371]

im very sorry to hear what is happening to you, people that have some mental disorders feel better when they are on the medication then go off of it and feeling they will be ok, unless the person is willing to keep taking the medication with out stopping it will never get better, i have a family member that suffers from a mental disease he is older than most here on vj and i can say truthfully that he will never be any better because he does not listen to reason about the medication and that sort of seems what ur wife is having the problem of.

you need to first get away from her, next file for protection order, then get a divorce.......

as for her trying to get ur green card you have ur police report to show for proof of being abused if it comes to that.

im sorry but i really cant give you any good information that will make it better for u i wish i could

sara

[justashooter 430]

it's tough to be a guy in an abusive relationship. societal conceptions deny your experience. nonetheless, your experience is real, and you need to take care of yourself, first. you cannot help your wife. she must help herself.

from one guy who has been there to another: file the restraining order, and get a policeman to go to the house with you to move your stuff out. stay with a friend for awhile. get divorced. move on with your life. keep distance between your wife and yourself. don't trust her farther than you can throw her. never let yourself be vulnerable to her again. you've been through enough.

[tallcoolone 102]

she sounds like a Psycho.

I would also get a gun for protection, and if she enters your residence i would shoot away.

[Rings 10]

Keep good documentation. Ask the police to provide you with the incident reprt (should cost you $5-$10) and also get a copy of the police report (about $25-$40 normally) THESE ARE TWO DIFFERENT DOCUMENTS - then file for divorce and once the divorce is final, you can file for abuse and you will have the proof you need. Bring the reports with you. If you have substantial legal proof you will be approved under the spousal abuse law. You must have the police reports and legal documentation to support your claim. Be sure that the county clerk stamps all of it for you... copies will not work without stamped varification.

Edited September 10, 2009 by Rings