should we wait to get married?

[JuneFirst 1]

I flew to America January 09 to spend some time with my boyfriend and look for a college. My fligght back to G would have been in March. (VWP).

While I was in America a college told me I could just stay in the US, apply for a change of status, get my student visa and start going to school [i would have applied for a F1 back in G anyway).

I stayed, applied, got denied (because I did not even qualify) and left.

Back in G. I went to the Embassy and got my F1 denied (not enough ties).

They asked me if I had a boyfriend, I answered no since me and my boyfriend were having some difficulties.

One month later my fiance and I got engaged

He has been going thru a divorce for a year and the divorce will be finalized in 2 weeks.

We would like to get married asap but we are worried that it might hinder getting us the CR1 since I just got the F1 denied and he just got divorced.

How long should we wait to get married and apply for the visa?

thank you

[JuneFirst 1]

I flew to America January 09 to spend some time with my boyfriend and look for a college. My fligght back to G would have been in March. (VWP).

While I was in America a college told me I could just stay in the US, apply for a change of status, get my student visa and start going to school [i would have applied for a F1 back in G anyway).

I stayed, applied, got denied (because I did not even qualify) and left.

Back in G. I went to the Embassy and got my F1 denied (not enough ties).

They asked me if I had a boyfriend, I answered no since me and my boyfriend were having some difficulties.

One month later my fiance and I got engaged

He has been going thru a divorce for a year and the divorce will be finalized in 2 weeks.

We would like to get married asap but we are worried that it might hinder getting us the CR1 since I just got the F1 denied and he just got divorced.

How long should we wait to get married and apply for the visa?

thank you

Still waiting for some help....Really need some good advice on what to do..

[meowmeowmeow 1]

first of all, what is G.?

second...if i'm understanding this properly, you and your bf were together while he was trying to get a divorce?

so the evidence you guys would have of your time together would coincide with this...

and now you are wondering if you should get married...

why did you not qualify for the f1? especially if you flew to the US to look for a college to go to?

the fact that you answered no at the time you were applying again for the f1 could be weird too....then a month later, you get engaged and now want to marry....

yeah definitely wait...i'm sorry, if i were USCIS or NVC, i would be very skeptical about your case....

and i don't really think there's some kind of definite time frame to say when you can get married...but on your end, shouldn't you make sure as well that you guys are going to last and that this is real, especially given the fact that you were having issues with him before and told the embassy that you didn't have a significant other, but get engaged a month later?

it just would look really fishy to me if i were an immigration officer.

sorry if that's not what you want to hear. that is my humble opinion, you don't need to take me seriously.

good luck....

[JuneFirst 1]

first of all, what is G.?

Germany

second...if i'm understanding this properly, you and your bf were together while he was trying to get a divorce?

yes

so the evidence you guys would have of your time together would coincide with this...

and now you are wondering if you should get married...

no, i am wondering when to get married

why did you not qualify for the f1? especially if you flew to the US to look for a college to go to?

because they did not think i had enough ties to germany

the fact that you answered no at the time you were applying again for the f1 could be weird too....then a month later, you get engaged and now want to marry....

we were having difficulties, but we never questioned our relationship. different story.

yeah definitely wait...i'm sorry, if i were USCIS or NVC, i would be very skeptical about your case....

and i don't really think there's some kind of definite time frame to say when you can get married...but on your end, shouldn't you make sure as well that you guys are going to last and that this is real, especially given the fact that you were having issues with him before and told the embassy that you didn't have a significant other, but get engaged a month later?

it just would look really fishy to me if i were an immigration officer.

sorry if that's not what you want to hear. that is my humble opinion, you don't need to take me seriously.

good luck....

thank you for your answer

[rebeccajo 14]

first of all, what is G.?

Germany

second...if i'm understanding this properly, you and your bf were together while he was trying to get a divorce?

yes

so the evidence you guys would have of your time together would coincide with this...

and now you are wondering if you should get married...

no, i am wondering when to get married

why did you not qualify for the f1? especially if you flew to the US to look for a college to go to?

because they did not think i had enough ties to germany

the fact that you answered no at the time you were applying again for the f1 could be weird too....then a month later, you get engaged and now want to marry....

we were having difficulties, but we never questioned our relationship. different story.

yeah definitely wait...i'm sorry, if i were USCIS or NVC, i would be very skeptical about your case....

and i don't really think there's some kind of definite time frame to say when you can get married...but on your end, shouldn't you make sure as well that you guys are going to last and that this is real, especially given the fact that you were having issues with him before and told the embassy that you didn't have a significant other, but get engaged a month later?

it just would look really fishy to me if i were an immigration officer.

sorry if that's not what you want to hear. that is my humble opinion, you don't need to take me seriously.

good luck....

thank you for your answer

Oh my gosh. This answer is so irrelevant to your situation.

There is no problem with when you get married. USCIS is not going to care if you marry your boyfriend the day after his divorce.

If I follow your story correctly, you entered the US in January on the VWP, which permits a maximum stay in the US of 90 days. But you didn't go home after 90 days - you stayed in the US.

What date did you arrive in the US? What date did you go home? The exact answers are important. If you were in the US more than 180 days, you now have a travel ban for 3 years.

[JuneFirst 1]

I came January 8th, got the denial May 5th and left May 24th.

So I stayed in the US 139 days [uSCIS told me I had to stay til the decision]

Thank you for your answer

Did you go thru something similar to us applying for a visa, or is that just your opinion?

Thanks again:)

[rebeccajo 14]

I came January 8th, got the denial May 5th and left May 24th.

So I stayed in the US 139 days [uSCIS told me I had to stay til the decision]

Thank you for your answer

Did you go thru something similar to us applying for a visa, or is that just your opinion?

Thanks again:)

You had to stay to get your decision, but you were accruing overstay time nonetheless.

You have not prohibited yourself from obtaining a visa because you got out of the country before you started accruing the bar. You have however lost your visa waiver privileges and cannot enter the US again without a valid visa.

In answer to having a similar situation - I filed the I129F for my husband within a few days of the finality of my divorce. The petition was approved and so was the visa. We were married within 6 months of my divorce.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Oh my gosh. This answer is so irrelevant to your situation.

There is no problem with when you get married. USCIS is not going to care if you marry your boyfriend the day after his divorce.

no need for that snippy response. it was just an opinion of the situation. thanks.

[rebeccajo 14]

Oh my gosh. This answer is so irrelevant to your situation.

There is no problem with when you get married. USCIS is not going to care if you marry your boyfriend the day after his divorce.

no need for that snippy response. it was just an opinion of the situation. thanks.

It is not a 'snippy response'. I apologize if you feel that it was.

While it's always the responsibility of the original poster to verify the voracity of the information they are offered, it's also the responsibility of those answering to think before they speak. You can not only cause folks to make mistakes with their cases, but you can cause them a lot of stress. In this case, the OP asked one question but has another situation which is more relevant. It's good you want to help, but as you said you offered an 'opinion'. In this case your opinion was unfortunately incorrect.

Thanks.

Edited September 1, 2009 by rebeccajo

[imaisha 1]

In this case your opinion was unfortunately incorrect.

The opinion may not have been entirely incorrect really though. USCIS will not care, true. As long as they can get married/ are married depending on the visa they apply for, they're set for the petition. But the interview may be tougher. Because your fiancee's interview was in the United Kingdom, you probably had a relatively easy time of it. Unfortunately most others are not as lucky. Depending on what country "G." is, they may have a problem with marriage so soon after divorce, applying for a marriage visa so soon after 2 failed tries for a student visa and an overstay. I'm thinking in particular of religious countries, where if the meeting within the last two years or most of the courtship took place at a time when one party was married, it won't fly. If it's against the cultural norms the consular officer will have big concerns.

Edited September 1, 2009 by imaisha

[baron555 934]

I flew to America January 09 to spend some time with my boyfriend and look for a college. My fligght back to G would have been in March. (VWP).

While I was in America a college told me I could just stay in the US, apply for a change of status, get my student visa and start going to school [i would have applied for a F1 back in G anyway).

I stayed, applied, got denied (because I did not even qualify) and left.

Back in G. I went to the Embassy and got my F1 denied (not enough ties).

They asked me if I had a boyfriend, I answered no since me and my boyfriend were having some difficulties.

One month later my fiance and I got engaged

He has been going thru a divorce for a year and the divorce will be finalized in 2 weeks.

We would like to get married asap but we are worried that it might hinder getting us the CR1 since I just got the F1 denied and he just got divorced.

How long should we wait to get married and apply for the visa?

thank you

Here's the problem I think you have. If your evidence of meeting was while he was still married (legally), that might raise red flags. Also your overstay time will raise red flags. Your best bet is to stay in G and have your fiance fly on over and re-establish a better meeting and proof. Then he goes back and applies for a K-1. Or he stays in your country and you get married there and then he comes back and applies for the CR-1.

This way all will line up correctly. You see he will have to send them a copy of his divorce decree and they will then know that you two were together while he was still married. I'm not saying this is bad, but it will raise red flags, plus then you incurred the overstay time.

[JuneFirst 1]

Thank you for all the answers.

Yes, we did meet while he was still married...That's not a crime, is it? Alot of couples get a divorce because one partner falls in love with somebody else.

G = Germany

And concering the "re-establish-relationship-issue":

We talk on Skype ~ 6 hours a day, talk on the phone for an hour, text, email, he comes to Germany every 2-3 weeks and stays for 1-2 weeks, he is gonna spend 3months this winter in Germany, we have a apartment together in G, joint bank accounts...

We have sooo much proof of relationship, our attorny is overwhelmed, does not know what to do with all that information

Our plan is to get married December 31st, then file in January...

Thanks for all the answers again

[rebeccajo 14]

In this case your opinion was unfortunately incorrect.

The opinion may not have been entirely incorrect really though. USCIS will not care, true. As long as they can get married/ are married depending on the visa they apply for, they're set for the petition. But the interview may be tougher. Because your fiancee's interview was in the United Kingdom, you probably had a relatively easy time of it. Unfortunately most others are not as lucky. Depending on what country "G." is, they may have a problem with marriage so soon after divorce, applying for a marriage visa so soon after 2 failed tries for a student visa and an overstay. I'm thinking in particular of religious countries, where if the meeting within the last two years or most of the courtship took place at a time when one party was married, it won't fly. If it's against the cultural norms the consular officer will have big concerns.

The OP has stated the country is Germany. Anecdotal evidence suggests the circumstances of this couple's courtship won't be an issue at the consulate in Frankfurt. I took the consulate into account in replying to the OP. There used to be a member here who said "know thy consulate" before dispensing info about this phase of the process. I think she was right.

I'm not sure it's appropriate to use the phrase "religious" countries. Social customs (as you mentioned) would be more the concern of consular officers.

To those reading this thread -

This community has hundreds of success stories wherein the couple met whilst one of the partners was still married.

Hundreds. Maybe thousands.

[baron555 934]

Yes, we did meet while he was still married...That's not a crime, is it? Alot of couples get a divorce because one partner falls in love with somebody else.

No, but it could also be adultery. That may be viewed as a bad thing by the consulate officer assigned to your case. They follow standard procedures but there is a subjective part to it.

And concering the "re-establish-relationship-issue":

We talk on Skype ~ 6 hours a day, talk on the phone for an hour, text, email, he comes to Germany every 2-3 weeks and stays for 1-2 weeks, he is gonna spend 3months this winter in Germany, we have a apartment together in G, joint bank accounts...

We have sooo much proof of relationship, our attorny is overwhelmed, does not know what to do with all that information

This information is needed for the interview part of the process.

Our plan is to get married December 31st, then file in January...

OK, so he's coming to Germany where you will be married. Perfect. Then you guys can file either DCF or CR-1. Of course you have to stay there (don't think you'd get any type of visa to come to the US based on all the denials in the recent past).

You stay there, he visits like normal and then eventually you have your interview and then await that decision.

Edited September 1, 2009 by baron555

[rebeccajo 14]

Yes, we did meet while he was still married...That's not a crime, is it? Alot of couples get a divorce because one partner falls in love with somebody else.

No, but it could also be adultery. That may be viewed as a bad thing by the consulate officer assigned to your case. They follow standard procedures but there is a subjective part to it.

And concering the "re-establish-relationship-issue":

We talk on Skype ~ 6 hours a day, talk on the phone for an hour, text, email, he comes to Germany every 2-3 weeks and stays for 1-2 weeks, he is gonna spend 3months this winter in Germany, we have a apartment together in G, joint bank accounts...

We have sooo much proof of relationship, our attorny is overwhelmed, does not know what to do with all that information

This information is needed for the interview part of the process.

Our plan is to get married December 31st, then file in January...

OK, so he's coming to Germany where you will be married. Perfect. Then you guys can file either DCF or CR-1. Of course you have to stay there (don't think you'd get any type of visa to come to the US based on all the denials in the recent past).

You stay there, he visits like normal and then eventually you have your interview and then await that decision.

Baron -

I can pretty much assure you that the CO in Frankfurt won't give a diddly fart about 'adultery'.

And the couple cannot file for DCF in Frankfurt unless the USC husband takes up residency there for several months. They could however file for CR1.