credit card debts

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

The easy rules are

1) Don't use the credit cards anymore.

With the new rule changes, chances are they have already suspended his credit lines, or will do so shortly. I have perfect credit, and they have already either reduced my limits, or closed my credit line. Banks are tightening up.

2) Pay down the highest interest debt first.

Other than that, it is a matter of living under your means. If he plans to start a new bussiness, things will only get worse, at least in the short run. To be in bussiness, you need enough set aside to survive for at least 6 months. Sometimes it's beans and potatoes, and socks with holes, but you have to get ahead somehow. Turn off the cable, and cancel any subscriptions.

The first step is not to get any deeper in debt.

[Old Dominion 26]

Use no more credit!! He is under the same pressure as you, but maybe he is in denial. It is hateful that are being urged to get a higher paying job, nor that the cost of winning you by his many visits should be an issue for you to face. It is not helpful to anyone to make his daughter's schooling an issue. The cost is quite reasonable for private schooling, and if she was with her mother instead, he'd be paying as much for child support, no doubt. It's a choice probably made when they decided to divorce. With his credit difficulties, it might also be hard to find a different landlord and thus move to a less expensive place.

Most private schools offer some financial aid for eligible parents. That should be explored. Cutting down on the extras in life (phone bills, TV services, entertainment, etc.) may help a little. The major US banks, after all this difficulty, are a source of credit counseling for many families (BankAmerica is one such bank) and would be a good place to start.

[chizkeyk 0]

Stop on hitting his child going to a private school.

In addition to all the suggestions posted above:

1. Tabulate all your Daily/Monthly expenses vs Income (household; meaning Wife's/Hubby Income & Expenses)

2. Go back to the basics (eliminate some perks: cable, phone, gas & electricity, unnecessary trips, movie, spa, clothing, dining-out, vacation) - EXCEPT: Child education (let him handle that). Never nag your hubby about that. You should have an adult discussion on how to address the situation.

3. Find a second or third employer. If you are working 8 hours a day to your current job, and lets say you're paid $10/hour so you have a gross of $80 a day. Retails are a good target for a part-time job, where you would be able to work from 6-10PM (4hrs @ $10/hr = $40 x 5days = $200 + 8hrs on Saturday (take a day off on Sunday) your part time job would round-up to a gross of $280/week which is $1,120 for one month. See, where are you going to get that money if you will just continue on whining and stressing out yourself? There are a LOT of jobs around.

with that, i do believe your husband will follow, and hoping that he will also find a second job.

Your situation is not even comparable to a stage 3 cancer where death is the only way out. You are both young, find a way to fix your lives. This will entail major life changes but both of you will definitely benefit.

And yeah, I guess its a good idea not to get pregnant for now.

Goodluck.

[DEDixon 39]

Stop on hitting his child going to a private school.

I don't think she has a choice on this one. Her husband has his daughter just 1 day a week and only pays 35 dollars a month in child support!

I'm thinking (but open to being wrong) that the tuition is part of a deal with the ex-wife.

Very few if any pay just 35 dollars in child support monthly.

[rheanick 42]

Hello to all visajourney goers here! I hope everything is going well.

I think i have a dilemma right now. I will try to make this as short as possible.

My husband owes at least $35,000 from his credit card. He has four credit cards. The problem is we aren't able to pay them all. They are all in past dues and some of them are in their care program (less interest and no late payment charge), but still we need to maintain and pay the minimum for us to be qualified still to their care program.

Reasons for the debts:

visited me many times in the Philippines and relied too much on the credit cards

Had a major dental surgery in the Philippines

Our rent increases yearly (although i know we can find a cheaper place but he thought we'd be alright so we just renew our lease and will expire on July 2010)

his daughter goes to private school, tuition also increases

I couldn't find a job right away when i got here because I had to wait for my Greencard

I just recently got a job and it doesn't pay well but still it helps us. But my pay just goes directly to phone bills, electricity,sewer, water and a little bit for the rent. His salary goes to rent and her schooling. He is divorced and only required to pay $35 monthly for child support because they (ex-wife) almost had the same income when they divorced. No spousal support. They have joint custody.

We live in a good neighborhood here in Fremont, Ca. We have been receiving calls from the credit card companies about our debt. We argued many times about it already and I am just tired. I told him if we can send her daughter to a public school for a year until we can breathe a little bit and find a cheaper place to live (til our lease expires in 2010) then she can go back to private school. We pay $1000 monthly for her school. The ex-wife pays the summer class and she lives there. She just had her braces. We only get to see her once a week... every Saturday and stays overnight.. and rarely in the weekdays because her mom always picks her up at the school.

But he doesn't like it. He just ignores the call and told me we'll pay them when we can.

So my questions is...

Can he be sued? I asked because he is capable to pay those debts but chose not to.

Can the court order him to pay the credit card company and take money directly from his paycheck?

Thank you. I appreciate all the answers.

Someone has to start to solve the problem and arguing is not the proper way. Your husband has to realize your present situation. Unless he comes into term with reality, you would be stuck. A change of sttitude is what you need here.

You can't force your husband but you could set an example.

Just an example. I love sale items, getting freebies and using coupon. My husband don't bother with them before. After arriving here, i would go to groceries and would only buy items on sale. Work around our menu on those items. I would count my savings everytime i buy groceries. I would tell this to my husband. He got intrigued of the discounts I'm getting. After that, he starting using the free gift cards and discount cards we receive in our mail.

[Loolie 56]

nothing you can really do but pay your debts...and save for your own so if everything gets worst at least you will have money to start again.

God bless you.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

How many times did your husband visit you in the Philippines? Round trip air fair costs around like a thousand bucks. Hotels are cheap anyways if you look for a good price. And dental care is cheap in the Philippines compared to the US. One dentist offered to fix all my teeth for $200.

Edited August 31, 2009 by Rocky_nBullwinkle

[Otto 83]

I think he cannot be sued for not being able to pay credit card bills. What will happen is that they will still try to contact you, if not, then they will send you letters and may charge you late/overlimit fees. If you still don't pay then interest/fees will increase every month and your credit score will be affected.

This is not correct - creditors sue, and win judgments against people every day. Do not be fooled and think you're safe if you just dint' answer the phone or open/respond to letters.

[muñequita linda 0]

I think he cannot be sued for not being able to pay credit card bills. What will happen is that they will still try to contact you, if not, then they will send you letters and may charge you late/overlimit fees. If you still don't pay then interest/fees will increase every month and your credit score will be affected.

This is not correct - creditors sue, and win judgments against people every day. Do not be fooled and think you're safe if you just dint' answer the phone or open/respond to letters.

But nobody goes to jail for an unpaid debt. Unless it's the result of not filing tax returns or filing fraudulent tax returns with the IRS.

[Armenia 18]

Is the wife liable for debts incurred by the husband before they were married?

[DEDixon 39]

Is the wife liable for debts incurred by the husband before they were married?

No.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Is the wife liable for debts incurred by the husband before they were married?

Depends whether or not she benefitted directly, or indirectly, by the incurring of those debts. Either way, it won't stop the creditors from trying to attach her wages, as well as his. There is some severability in tax debts though, due to recent changes in the law.

[angela920 0]

Thank you for all your response. I really appreciate it. My husband and I are arguing right now on how to pay the rent, the private school, utilities and food. I told him that if he doesn't change then i'll just move it and let him deal with all of it. I told him to be a better person and accept the fact that we can't afford it.

I just don't really know whats gonna happen with his credit debts. We owe chase, bank of america, citibank and american express. Even with care plan we still can't pay them all.

Well about his divorce the reason he is not paying high child support its because when they divorced they had almost the same amount of income. Also its a joint custody so they talk whatever they want to do with their child. Its all about their mutual understanding.

My husband earns decently but just not spending right thats why we are broke.

The only thing i can do i guess is to support him with his idea about the business and try not to discourage him so much -sigh-

[DEDixon 39]

Well about his divorce the reason he is not paying high child support its because when they divorced they had almost the same amount of income. Also its a joint custody so they talk whatever they want to do with their child. Its all about their mutual understanding.

Spousal support and child support are two different things. Very few people get out of paying child support. A lot of people get out of paying spousal support because of what you said, they make about the same salary.

What your husband doesn't have is custodial custody which usually dictates how much child support someone pays. If the child spends just one day a week with one parent, the other parent usually gets a lot more than 35 dollars a month in child support. This is why I think that if your husband were not paying tuition, he would be paying more child support. Your idea to forgo private school only opens the door for him to pay more child support which will likely be used to pay for the tuition. Either way, he pays for tuition.

Joint custody doesn't have much to do with deciding the amount of child support.

[jom 4]

My husband and I consolidated HIS credit cards ( I said HIS because they were already there even before we got married ) with one bank that offered him 0%APR for 12 months, thats how we escaped paying the interest. We are now just paying for the principal and almost done with it. His credit cards are in the freezer and will only be used if there is really an emergency.

When it comes to child support..ahhhhh..he pays a lot monthly to the lazy ex wife,lol. I wish he only pays $35 but its $1,050 a month for the two boys. The amount was based on his income 5 years ago because the ex has never worked during their less than 5 years marriage. In addition, he also pays for their medical , dental and vision insurances.

When it comes to bills, we divide. He pays for the house utilities, boat , credit card and house mortgage while I pay for my car, insurances ( 2 vehicles and boat ) and I do most of the grocery shopping. Despite my husband's generous income we really don't have a lot of extra cash because we stopped using the credit cards and also a portion of our paycheck goes to savings ( this is a must !!!!)

There is no imposition on my part to pay BUT as his partner , I should. I don't send any money to the Philippines because our household expenses come first and foremost. We are not rich but are genuinely happy with everything we have. Our number one rule is to live within our means.

When I started working and received my first full paycheck , the first thing we did was sit down and made a sheet of what our bills are and who will pay. We both get our paychecks the same time and pay our bills first, then we stock up our fridge for food. I pay $48 for my phone monthly and don't have text services because I dont need it and with that I save $25 a month. When I go shopping I don't go for the brand ( except for laundry soap because I always use Tide) but whatever is the cheapest. I am not trying to advertise here but when I go for my major grocery shopping, I save a lot in Walmart for non meat items and I go to Win-dixie for meat stuff because they always have a buy one take one. My husband loves steak ( a lot!!) so I make sure that once a week he gets to eat one( He works hard for it and deserves one). Eating out probably happens once a month because we like cooking and eating at home.

We don't go to bars ( been there done that ) and most of our free days we go fishing or just boating . Joe loves the water and it is an inexpensive treat for all of us.

I don't use the dryer for our clothes . I hang them and let the FL sun do its job It saves us a lot of money. I clean my own nails, do my own hair treatment and facials I also do Joe's hair. Temp of our house is maintained at 80 during the day and 79 at night and when summer is over, we love the fresh air. These are just some of the things we do on our own to save money.

Sit down, make a list and work your budget. As what the others correctly said, cut off some of your unnecessary expenses and always follow the rule to live within your means. We also went through some tough times when we just got started but if you work things out together and listen to one another , take things one step at a time and learn how to prioritize, you will be just fine.

Goodluck and hope things will be better for the two of you