It was a Trap

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

A gentleman doesn't put his hand in anger against his lady - ever.

Rebecca,

I respectfully disagree. If a woman comes at me with a machete, you're damn right I'll hit her before I die. Doesn't matter how small she is or how cute she looks when she smiles.

[sukimi 0]

I'm sorry, this is terrible. I hope you find someone truly special to share your life with.

As for the greencard, it seems to me like there is no way she can get it. You've only been married a few months, you haven't filed an affidavit of support, and you certainly won't go to an interview. I second the letters to USCIS telling them about possible fraud, but otherwise, what can you do?

[rebeccajo 14]

A gentleman doesn't put his hand in anger against his lady - ever.

Rebecca,

I respectfully disagree. If a woman comes at me with a machete, you're damn right I'll hit her before I die. Doesn't matter how small she is or how cute she looks when she smiles.

Self defense is different than just purely being pissed off. I concur with your point.

Edited July 13, 2006 by rebeccajo

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

As for the greencard, it seems to me like there is no way she can get it.

Even if there was, the OP's got bigger things to worry about. Like protecting his assets. Yodrak's already mentioned this, but it bears repeating. Don't let the b!tch take your sh!t too. Lawyer up.

Self defense is different than just purely being pissed off. I concur with your point.

So all the OP has to do is claim there was a Henckel knife on the table and he was afraid he'd fall on it... and suddenly him pushing his wife becomes self defense. haha.

[rebeccajo 14]

As for the greencard, it seems to me like there is no way she can get it.

Even if there was, the OP's got bigger things to worry about. Like protecting his assets. Yodrak's already mentioned this, but it bears repeating. Don't let the b!tch take your sh!t too. Lawyer up.

You know what? It amazes me that what probably REALLY happened here is being overlooked.

Sure. Wifey possibly had intent to immigrate and dump the Hubby. But he was the perfect patsy. If you read above he states that he has previous experience with immigration and CRIMINAL lawyers.

Methinks she found a man with a temper and a past criminal history and was willing to bet her future on the fact that if she pissed him off enough, he would take a swing at her. Thus providing her with the perfect golden egg for allowing her to possibly stay in the country. Abuse.

So all the OP has to do is claim there was a Henckel knife on the table and he was afraid he'd fall on it... and suddenly him pushing his wife becomes self defense. haha.

Are you just trying to tease me AJ? Go ahead, I'll play.

[*Robert* 2]

You know what? It amazes me that what probably REALLY happened here is being overlooked.

Sure. Wifey possibly had intent to immigrate and dump the Hubby. But he was the perfect patsy. If you read above he states that he has previous experience with immigration and CRIMINAL lawyers.

Methinks she found a man with a temper and a past criminal history and was willing to bet her future on the fact that if she pissed him off enough, he would take a swing at her. Thus providing her with the perfect golden egg for allowing her to possibly stay in the country. Abuse.

Rebecca,

According to the OP, she pushed him first, and after falling down and breaking the table, he pushed her back. That doesn't seem atypical. As for size, how is it you feel he is so much bigger than her? If she pushed him to the floor, he can't be that big! I know my wife wouldn't be able to push me down!

Lastly, I believe he is referring to the lawyer(s) he has working on THIS case. He doesn't indicate he used them in the past, or keeps a personal criminal lawyer on retainer. It is almost like you are reading more into this.

Just my 2 cents.

Robert

[WalCruz 0]

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. I got sad specially because it is someone from my Country that acted like that. Yes, people in Brazil do go out and stay till early morning out.... that is because our parties or clubs start at 11pm, before that there is nobody there! But I understand you're asking about the immigration issue and that I can't help, just wanted to say I'm sorry and I don't want people to have a bad impression of my Country!

Good Luck!

[rebeccajo 14]

Robert, that's true I don't know any of the details you mention. I could be way off base.

You see, some of us who have been on the receiving end of violence, while we bear the scars of it, do have the ability to to look back over the history of our stories and try to get some smarts about it. I firmly believe there are women AND men out there who cry 'abuse' because it's a great hot button these days.

But I also believe that a temper so hot, be it male or female, that flares so out of control to unleash itself at the hand of it's poor human vessel, is a double-edged sword of destruction. When all is said and done, the power gained from any aggression is just as poisonous to the one admistering it as the one receiving it.

The scenario I rolled out is just me looking between the lines. I could be completely wrong.

If so, I apologize.

If not, well then I think it's a pretty typical example of how 'abuse' can come back to haunt the abuser.

[JanaknJanet 0]

After that, my wife changed completely, started going out with other girl friends hers, until on May 20 (Saturday) she stayed all night out (come back home 5:00 am). That was it for me, at that same morning I asked her to pack her stuff and live my house, and that our marriage was over and I would put a stop to the green card process. She became very upset and started to push me, pushing me against the coffee table, where I felled over and I broke the table. I got up and pushed her back telling her to stop that.

Sorry you have gone thru this.. but seriously.. I really dont think this came on suddenly. ...

Concerning your comment on sending her packing because she stayed out all night...?? WOW.. .. wheres the communication?

Sounds to me that there is more to this sutuation that you are letting out.

Actually sounds like the whole situation is more than just a few shoves here and there.. could be instigated by her but also brought on by yourself... ..

Just be glad she doesnt have teh GC yet.. good luck

[anya-D 8]

what makes me wonder is..

is your wife (or ex wife now?) went out everynight? with her girlfirends?

I dont know.. i'm sorry to hear that you and her had a bad time together.. but for me my husband would be happy if i even have a girlfriend to go out with... may be not everynight but he wouldnt mine me go out with my girlfriends until 5am sometimes (my friend likes to go out to eat after the club close.. and i'd be falling asleep at the table ) Have you talked to her about this behavior before you tell her to pack her thing? Did she have a habit of going out like this while she was in Brazil?.. I'm sorry if this seems a bit personal.. dont have to asnwer.. just ignore me

oh.. i had a Brazilian friends before (they were int he US) and they would be out partying all night or just doing somthing after the bar close.. i couldnt keep up with them!! but they are fun

The problem it isn't staying all night out, but lying about who she was with. I didn't want to make a book to explain the entire situation.

you dont have to share you whole life story.. bt if she lies, she lies.. you didnt mention that that's why i was wondering why partying was such a big deal. but if she lied then it's different.

You said your case was dismiss you I guess youe (ex) wife wouldnt be able to recieve the GC. I'm sorry this happen to you. Wish you good luck in the future.

[Nick'n'Nat 0]

Well it would seem then the proper reaction should have been anger at the wifes abuse and instigation of violence towards her husband. I suppose if the woman was 250 pounds and had a black belt then he might be forgiven for being human and letting his emotions get the best of him. We all know these stories have two sides, but if this is the truth then I hope the anullment goes through and it ends gracefully. The law on domestic abuse includes nothing about gender, weight, size or height of the perpetrator as far as I have heard. I would do everything in my power to stay away from this person in any private situation, never come near her without some type of supervision, protect yourself from all allegations until this is over. Have you applied for AOS? Submitted an I864?

[Luiz&Isabela 0]

Sounds to me like you probably should have kept your hands to yourself when your wife, who probably is at least 50 pounds lighter, several inches shorter and a whole lot less stronger than you, decided to push your helpless, pathetic self against the coffee table.

Sounds like she knew you were a hot-head and it wouldn't be hard to make a domestic violence charge stick.

I've been 'pushed' before. Wah. Sorry you don't get any sympathy from me.

Sounds like someone is letting their own past experiences colour their reply to this one. Perpetual Victim Syndrome, and all that. He sounds very sincere. The judge agreed with him, which rarely happens in my experience. Yet you assume that HE was the aggressor. All men are aggressors. I keep forgetting that.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING

[Luiz&Isabela 0]

As for the greencard, it seems to me like there is no way she can get it.

Even if there was, the OP's got bigger things to worry about. Like protecting his assets. Yodrak's already mentioned this, but it bears repeating. Don't let the b!tch take your sh!t too. Lawyer up.

You know what? It amazes me that what probably REALLY happened here is being overlooked.

Sure. Wifey possibly had intent to immigrate and dump the Hubby. But he was the perfect patsy. If you read above he states that he has previous experience with immigration and CRIMINAL lawyers.

Methinks she found a man with a temper and a past criminal history and was willing to bet her future on the fact that if she pissed him off enough, he would take a swing at her. Thus providing her with the perfect golden egg for allowing her to possibly stay in the country. Abuse.

So all the OP has to do is claim there was a Henckel knife on the table and he was afraid he'd fall on it... and suddenly him pushing his wife becomes self defense. haha.

Are you just trying to tease me AJ? Go ahead, I'll play.

I am sorry lady, but on order to give your opinion on something, you should read BETTER the subject you are giving your opinion.

I don't have PAST CRIMINAL HISTORY; my cost with "divorce and criminal lawyers" has been for this case with my wife. I have seen you throw your "poison" on my name, other folks trying to defend my (and I appreciate that), but like I told you at the beginning, read my statement "she pushed my against the coffee table after I told her that she will lose her green card (she was angry), the table was behind me, and I fall on top of the table, THEN after I got up I PUSHED her away from me.

Thank you very much for your attention

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. I got sad specially because it is someone from my Country that acted like that. Yes, people in Brazil do go out and stay till early morning out.... that is because our parties or clubs start at 11pm, before that there is nobody there! But I understand you're asking about the immigration issue and that I can't help, just wanted to say I'm sorry and I don't want people to have a bad impression of my Country!

Good Luck!

Don't worry about that, I am brazilian/american to.

And I know how the parties are IN BRAZIL, but we live in USA now. And she told me she was it her girl friends, and I know for fact that she wasn’t with her girlfriends...

[rebeccajo 14]

Like I said Luiz, if I'm not getting it right here I apologize.

It's true my past experiences color my opinion. Sorry if that makes me look like I have some sort of 'syndrome'.

Nobody should be 'pushing' anybody. First of all that's not the way civilized people behave. And second of all, see where it got you?

It's better to walk off and cool down than cool down in court.

Edited July 13, 2006 by rebeccajo

[Luiz&Isabela 0]

After that, my wife changed completely, started going out with other girl friends hers, until on May 20 (Saturday) she stayed all night out (come back home 5:00 am). That was it for me, at that same morning I asked her to pack her stuff and live my house, and that our marriage was over and I would put a stop to the green card process. She became very upset and started to push me, pushing me against the coffee table, where I felled over and I broke the table. I got up and pushed her back telling her to stop that.

Sorry you have gone thru this.. but seriously.. I really dont think this came on suddenly. ...

Concerning your comment on sending her packing because she stayed out all night...?? WOW.. .. wheres the communication?

Sounds to me that there is more to this sutuation that you are letting out.

Actually sounds like the whole situation is more than just a few shoves here and there.. could be instigated by her but also brought on by yourself... ..

Just be glad she doesnt have teh GC yet.. good luck

You are right, that Saturday was just the last drop. What happen is that she had a full control of me, and she just stretched her luck counting on her control over me. I complete lost at that day, but not at the violence point. That’s why I didn't want to see her face, that way I wanted her out. I know I have my fault on this screw up relationship, I was to much involved to react before on a smaller scale problem.