It was a Trap

[Joey559 1]

I agree also, you dont stay out till 5 am when your married.

Unless your with your spouse

5 am with our without the SO- I'm 26 and I fall asleep with the light on, drooling on my book waiting to call my fiancee at 1am. I am not made of such stern stuff. By 10pm give me a bed!

To the OP - take care of yourself, I have no advice or opinion, I only hope you're seeing better days soon. The same to everyone else on here. It's friday, i'm sleepy and i just hope everyone here has a nice weekend - as they say - every day spent above ground is a good one.

Joey

[Peter Miami 0]

Its been a long time since I posted here,but it is truly pitiful when ppl come and announce such personal things on a forum of strangers,if you want some advice why not just PM someone you can trust! instead of spilling it out for everyone to comment on! go watch a damn soap opera,dr.phil,Oprah, My GOD! there is always two sides to a story. go out and do some good in the world instead of saying "OH I'm so sorry" or "Your a JERK" None of us will never know what truly happened between them!

Marc

oh and by the way who cares, read the paper you will see divorces everyday how many of them do you call and sympathize with? NONE!

Marc

This is a forum of advice on family immigration issues. When Luiz had this problem, it became not just a personal problem, but an issue of immigration for him. Posting here is a reasonable thing to do, because it's entirely possible someone may have faced a similiar situation and be able to give him good advice with the direction he should go regarding the immigration issues. Giving a few personal details as to what happened between him and his wife makes it easier for him to get the correct advice. Perhaps there isn't anyone he trusts who has been through this before! And maybe someone who "hasn't posted in a long time" actually has something of use to say!

Yes, there are stories in the paper all the time of the heartache of divorce. But very few have anything to do with immigration, the reason Luiz posted in this forum. When I got divorced, I would've been TOTALLY wigged out if some stranger who saw my name in the paper called me to sympathize...get real about that one Marc! Just because we can't SEE the people on VJ doesn't make their problems or their pain less real!

You're right, we don't know all that went on between them. It's true we only know what Luiz said. But we don't need to know everything to try to lend a hand with the immigration issues, just some hightlights. And if the good we go out and do today also involves lending moral support to someone we can't see...SO BE IT!

My good that I'm going out to do today involves giving you, someone who seems to have some issues with anger, my best wishes for a calm and happy day!

I am in total agreement with what you said!

Peter Miami

[Carol&Marc 0]

My good that I'm going out to do today involves giving you, someone who seems to have some issues with anger, my best wishes for a calm and happy day!

You just made my point, some of you seem to thrive on pity parties and red hearts, I certainly would never ask for legal advice from regular folk,something as important as this should be taken straight to a _______ you fill it in! I really never knew I had anger issues until you mentioned it, thanks for changing my life! you should do more of this for people! LOL.

I'm off to my anger management class, Oh and thanks again!

Marc

[dmartmar 1]

Luiz, I do hope you get some sort of resolution. As I said before, I really think the most effective thing to do would be to show up when the interview is called for and give a statement about your marriage. You might even be divorced by then.

Or not show up at all.

I think your situation perfectly illustrates that raising one's hand against one's spouse can be 'bad' in more ways than what is typically perceived. In this case, it created issues with the law.

I can guarantee that even if he hadn't raised his hand against her, she still would've accused him of domestic violence anyway, just for the sake of the GC.

Edited July 15, 2006 by dmartmar

[ChanelKitten 0]

One major underyling point that a few have mentionned, is that this is a website for those who are going thru or have already been thru the immigration process in one way or another and are seeking help, advice or simply support from others. In my opinion it all goes back to a little advice that my mother has given to me and I'm sure many of you have heard the same "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". The truth is that most of us don't know each other personally, so we have no right to judge anyone. All the best of luck to you Luiz with this whole situation and please know that there will ALWAYS be people here that you can talk to.

[Peter Miami 0]

Very true!

Peter Miami

[goldenheart 0]

Luiz,

I am deeply sorry to hear that your marriage had to come to an end. You invest a lot of money, time and enegy in getting the visa approved for your SO. I wish there was a way that you both could have resolve the issue before the violence begun. I'm so sorry.

I have a question. Is your ex-wife filing for the green card under the VAWA Act? I did not read all of the previous posts so I'm not sure.

[Lestat 0]

Size has nothing to do with it. Most men won't retaliate or even defend themselves against a woman, so how does their larger size or greater strength apply in any way? Pain is still pain, abuse is still abuse.

The OP did retaliate.

And physical size has everything to do with it. If you have ever been roughed up by someone a foot taller and 70 pounds your weight, especially when that person is pumped full of anger-based adrenalin, you would know that.

Yes it happened to me. Does that make me a victim? Perhaps.

Sorry, Cian, I call them as I see them. A gentleman doesn't put his hand in anger against his lady - ever.

Yup, I agree. But also, a lady doesn't put her hand in anger against her gentleman - ever.

[rebeccajo 14]

Size has nothing to do with it. Most men won't retaliate or even defend themselves against a woman, so how does their larger size or greater strength apply in any way? Pain is still pain, abuse is still abuse.

The OP did retaliate.

And physical size has everything to do with it. If you have ever been roughed up by someone a foot taller and 70 pounds your weight, especially when that person is pumped full of anger-based adrenalin, you would know that.

Yes it happened to me. Does that make me a victim? Perhaps.

Sorry, Cian, I call them as I see them. A gentleman doesn't put his hand in anger against his lady - ever.

Yup, I agree. But also, a lady doesn't put her hand in anger against her gentleman - ever.

That's true.

[gimygirl 0]

[Peter Miami 0]

Size has nothing to do with it. Most men won't retaliate or even defend themselves against a woman, so how does their larger size or greater strength apply in any way? Pain is still pain, abuse is still abuse.

The OP did retaliate.

And physical size has everything to do with it. If you have ever been roughed up by someone a foot taller and 70 pounds your weight, especially when that person is pumped full of anger-based adrenalin, you would know that.

Yes it happened to me. Does that make me a victim? Perhaps.

Sorry, Cian, I call them as I see them. A gentleman doesn't put his hand in anger against his lady - ever.

Yup, I agree. But also, a lady doesn't put her hand in anger against her gentleman - ever.

Very, very true!

Peter Miami

[marianana 0]

Hi Luis,

It is a long time since I posted here. I was still in Brazil, waiting for my visa. I remember you at the embassy. We had interviews in the same day, I think your fiance was wearing white jeans, wasn't she ? And your stepdaughter has long curly hair. Am I correct ?

I`m not having a good experience here in US. Just to show you that is not something about Brazilian women, you can find problems all over the world. Now that I`m here I discovered that my husband had been cheating on me all this time and he claims he doesn`t have the money for the AOS process. I can`t work and he doesn`t give me money not even to catch a bus. I think I`ll have to work to pay for my own flight tickets back to Brazil...

So don`t give up hope and go ahead with your life.

Dri

[Peter Miami 0]

Hi Luis,

It is a long time since I posted here. I was still in Brazil, waiting for my visa. I remember you at the embassy. We had interviews in the same day, I think your fiance was wearing white jeans, wasn't she ? And your stepdaughter has long curly hair. Am I correct ?

I`m not having a good experience here in US. Just to show you that is not something about Brazilian women, you can find problems all over the world. Now that I`m here I discovered that my husband had been cheating on me all this time and he claims he doesn`t have the money for the AOS process. I can`t work and he doesn`t give me money not even to catch a bus. I think I`ll have to work to pay for my own flight tickets back to Brazil...

So don`t give up hope and go ahead with your life.

Dri

Dri I wish you luck also.

Peter Miami