Fiance Received K1 Visa....

[viknkam 0]

Hey there VJ world...

My fiance got his K1 today. This process has been painful enough, and we haven't seen each other since March 3rd. Originally the plan was that he would pack up and be here within a few days. I mean cmon, he has had the past 6 months to prepare for this move, and it's not even like he is leaving a good job, or a good apartment, or anything that would require a lot of effort. His reason for taking two weeks is shopping. Seriously?! I am devastated and pissed. After 6 months, he wants to shop? Material things mean more to him that being with me... ? (at least thats how i feel right now...) I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention that my family doesn't understand why he wants this time, and he wants me to "cover" for him. He's an idiot!

Any advice? Comment?

[Otto 83]

Any advice? Comment?

There is a lot of emotional build up while waiting for this process to complete - it isn't unusual you would feel this way, nor is it terribly unusual for him to seemingly drag his feet - best to let it flow - understand it and not get caught up in the emotion of it. The time will pass quicker than you think.

We (men) get that way sometimes...(of course am speaking only of myself)

[Anh map 2,098]

I understand your frustration.

He's getting ready to leave his home country and live in a strange place. No doubt there is anxiety (on both sides). I was tremendously fearful that Linh would decide that she couldn't leave her family when the day of the trip to the US came.

She did get on the plane, then burst into tears after one day and said that she wanted to go home. That emotion passed and things are ok.

[nurse1967 287]

Did you guys have a discussion before you got approved at what type of timeframe you were thinking about for his arrival? I think I would feel like you do if I had expected that he would arrive right away.

[viknkam 0]

Did you guys have a discussion before you got approved at what type of timeframe you were thinking about for his arrival? I think I would feel like you do if I had expected that he would arrive right away.

Yes. He said he would pack his things, and the first thing would be to book a ticket. Now he has loose ends? #######?!

[beinha 0]

Did you guys have a discussion before you got approved at what type of timeframe you were thinking about for his arrival? I think I would feel like you do if I had expected that he would arrive right away.

Yes. He said he would pack his things, and the first thing would be to book a ticket. Now he has loose ends? #######?!

Hum, let's think... How about he felt like "omg I'm leaving my country, it's for real now that I've my visa" and he felt like he needs those 2 weeks to do a few things (even that is shopping) before he moves to your country FOREVER?

I'm sorry, you sound a bit selfish no matter how I do agree with your feelings and understand them. I suggest you to take a deep breathe, tell your family that he is coming in a couple weeks and if they ask why, just tell them he is moving for his country to be with you and he need to do a couple things... And use your time to get ready, be happy, celebrate and be thankful.

I hope you feel better and things would be okay

With respect,

Beinha - I'm the one that will move, I kind of understand how it can let us kind of nuts sometimes haha

[viknkam 0]

Any advice? Comment?

There is a lot of emotional build up while waiting for this process to complete - it isn't unusual you would feel this way, nor is it terribly unusual for him to seemingly drag his feet - best to let it flow - understand it and not get caught up in the emotion of it. The time will pass quicker than you think.

We (men) get that way sometimes...(of course am speaking only of myself)

I'm soooo upset! And I'm a reasonable person... his reasons are making my blood boil. Does anyone know if UK creditors can come after you in the US? He's planning on maxing his credit lines before he comes here. I'm sooo pissed! That is not the right way to start out a marriage and life together.

Did you guys have a discussion before you got approved at what type of timeframe you were thinking about for his arrival? I think I would feel like you do if I had expected that he would arrive right away.

Yes. He said he would pack his things, and the first thing would be to book a ticket. Now he has loose ends? #######?!

Hum, let's think... How about he felt like "omg I'm leaving my country, it's for real now that I've my visa" and he felt like he needs those 2 weeks to do a few things (even that is shopping) before he moves to your country FOREVER?

I'm sorry, you sound a bit selfish no matter how I do agree with your feelings and understand them. I suggest you to take a deep breathe, tell your family that he is coming in a couple weeks and if they ask why, just tell them he is moving for his country to be with you and he need to do a couple things... And use your time to get ready, be happy, celebrate and be thankful.

I hope you feel better and things would be okay

With respect,

Beinha - I'm the one that will move, I kind of understand how it can let us kind of nuts sometimes haha

I completely understand the move. His native country is India. He went back once. He has been living in England as a bachelor for the past 7 years. So, its not the country he is attached to. He is lame and selfish!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hey there VJ world...

My fiance got his K1 today. This process has been painful enough, and we haven't seen each other since March 3rd. Originally the plan was that he would pack up and be here within a few days. I mean cmon, he has had the past 6 months to prepare for this move, and it's not even like he is leaving a good job, or a good apartment, or anything that would require a lot of effort. His reason for taking two weeks is shopping. Seriously?! I am devastated and pissed. After 6 months, he wants to shop? Material things mean more to him that being with me... ? (at least thats how i feel right now...) I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention that my family doesn't understand why he wants this time, and he wants me to "cover" for him. He's an idiot!

Any advice? Comment?

You sound like a peach. My wife took more than a month after the visa was issued. She had a job and did not tell her job about the visa until the visa was in her hand. This is because she is a mature, responsible woman (I prefer that type myself) and didn't want to risk losing her income and then having a delay in the visa. Of course she had other business commitments by then and had to finish those out.

She also wanted to take a vacation for a week to Turkey since it was a favorite beach vacation of hers and it isn't as easy to get there from here. So I went with her for that. Why don't you just go over and go shopping with him? Then coem back together.

Your fiance is moving halfway around the world and I do not think it is unreasonable to take 2 or more weeks to prepare, say goodbyes, etc. Had I acted as you in this matter my fiancee (now wife) would probably thought twice about coming at all. No, she simply would never have agreed to marry me. But then again, she is a mature, rsponsible woman that grew up in the Soviet Union, and raised two kids in the total economic ruin that followed Perestroika...so she doesn't get upset when I go shopping and doesn't take it as me preferring shopping to her, which she KNOWS is not true. You are going to get married, which is supposed to be "for life" so cool your jets. You will have a lifetime together (maybe) and the two weeks or 3 or 4 or 6 will all be forgotten. This is a long term commitment, it isn't a dinner date.

Any advice? Comment?

There is a lot of emotional build up while waiting for this process to complete - it isn't unusual you would feel this way, nor is it terribly unusual for him to seemingly drag his feet - best to let it flow - understand it and not get caught up in the emotion of it. The time will pass quicker than you think.

We (men) get that way sometimes...(of course am speaking only of myself)

I'm soooo upset! And I'm a reasonable person... his reasons are making my blood boil. Does anyone know if UK creditors can come after you in the US? He's planning on maxing his credit lines before he comes here. I'm sooo pissed! That is not the right way to start out a marriage and life together.

Did you guys have a discussion before you got approved at what type of timeframe you were thinking about for his arrival? I think I would feel like you do if I had expected that he would arrive right away.

Yes. He said he would pack his things, and the first thing would be to book a ticket. Now he has loose ends? #######?!

Hum, let's think... How about he felt like "omg I'm leaving my country, it's for real now that I've my visa" and he felt like he needs those 2 weeks to do a few things (even that is shopping) before he moves to your country FOREVER?

I'm sorry, you sound a bit selfish no matter how I do agree with your feelings and understand them. I suggest you to take a deep breathe, tell your family that he is coming in a couple weeks and if they ask why, just tell them he is moving for his country to be with you and he need to do a couple things... And use your time to get ready, be happy, celebrate and be thankful.

I hope you feel better and things would be okay

With respect,

Beinha - I'm the one that will move, I kind of understand how it can let us kind of nuts sometimes haha

I completely understand the move. His native country is India. He went back once. He has been living in England as a bachelor for the past 7 years. So, its not the country he is attached to. He is lame and selfish!

Every day I am thankful I married a Ukrainian woman.

[Myo 0]

Hey there VJ world...

My fiance got his K1 today. This process has been painful enough, and we haven't seen each other since March 3rd. Originally the plan was that he would pack up and be here within a few days. I mean cmon, he has had the past 6 months to prepare for this move, and it's not even like he is leaving a good job, or a good apartment, or anything that would require a lot of effort. His reason for taking two weeks is shopping. Seriously?! I am devastated and pissed. After 6 months, he wants to shop? Material things mean more to him that being with me... ? (at least thats how i feel right now...) I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention that my family doesn't understand why he wants this time, and he wants me to "cover" for him. He's an idiot!

Any advice? Comment?

Congratulations on making it this far in the process! This is a day to be joyful and happy. Now, it is time for you to begin your journey as a wife. One of the first rules that men would like us to learn is patience. If you love him and he was worth waiting for through this gruelling process, what's a few more weeks - your joy is just around the corner. Patience my sister, patience.

Wishing you love, peace, and happiness.

[beinha 0]

I completely understand the move. His native country is India. He went back once. He has been living in England as a bachelor for the past 7 years. So, its not the country he is attached to. He is lame and selfish!

Ok, now that you put it in those words - he is lame and selfish - why you want to marry him? Call it quit and go live your life, plus, you don't need advices, as you have all the answers. Be single if a commitment it's too much for you, as it seems. I don't want to be rude but, come on.

[thepizzadude 26]

Hey there VJ world...

My fiance got his K1 today. This process has been painful enough, and we haven't seen each other since March 3rd. Originally the plan was that he would pack up and be here within a few days. I mean cmon, he has had the past 6 months to prepare for this move, and it's not even like he is leaving a good job, or a good apartment, or anything that would require a lot of effort. His reason for taking two weeks is shopping. Seriously?! I am devastated and pissed. After 6 months, he wants to shop? Material things mean more to him that being with me... ? (at least thats how i feel right now...) I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention that my family doesn't understand why he wants this time, and he wants me to "cover" for him. He's an idiot!

Any advice? Comment?

Not to be mean or anything like that but.....comments like the bold one above...

This one..."I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him."

Or..."Now he has loose ends? #######?! "

And..."He is lame and selfish! "

It sounds like you have a case of the "me, me, me's"...maybe you should let it set in and give him a second. Remember he is THE ONE who is moving around the world to be with you.

Reminds me of a conversation with a friend when I told him I was gonna marry a girl from A LONG WAY FROM THE U.S. Nothing against ALL the western girls, just the ones I met.

[Jonara 0]

Hey there VJ world...

My fiance got his K1 today. This process has been painful enough, and we haven't seen each other since March 3rd. Originally the plan was that he would pack up and be here within a few days. I mean cmon, he has had the past 6 months to prepare for this move, and it's not even like he is leaving a good job, or a good apartment, or anything that would require a lot of effort. His reason for taking two weeks is shopping. Seriously?! I am devastated and pissed. After 6 months, he wants to shop? Material things mean more to him that being with me... ? (at least thats how i feel right now...) I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention that my family doesn't understand why he wants this time, and he wants me to "cover" for him. He's an idiot!

Any advice? Comment?

Let him take his time really. It is not about you, it is about the whole idea of moving. He will leave India and maybe won't be there for a while so he is perhaps enjoying his moment there. Don't take it personally. He probably knows the barrier is gone and he will soon be reunited and be with you. Cheer up.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

I would have to agree with most of the comments here. OP, I understand your frustrations and that you miss and want to be with your fiance as soon as possible. However, you have to remember that he is making a huge life change just so you didn't have too. He's moving across the world so you wouldn't have too. This is a whirlwind process, and sometimes you just need to pause, take a look back and really let the engagement and the idea of the move really sink into your head. Aside from that, this is the last time in his life where he can be a completely independent person and live for himself. After he makes his way to the US it will not just be about him anymore, it will be about you and him. As hard as it might be, try to put yourself into his shoes for a moment and think about how difficult and frightening this transition is going to be from him. Moving to a new country on your own terms in search of your own opportunities is not the same as moving to a new country to share your life and commit to someone.

[viknkam 0]

Hey there VJ world...

My fiance got his K1 today. This process has been painful enough, and we haven't seen each other since March 3rd. Originally the plan was that he would pack up and be here within a few days. I mean cmon, he has had the past 6 months to prepare for this move, and it's not even like he is leaving a good job, or a good apartment, or anything that would require a lot of effort. His reason for taking two weeks is shopping. Seriously?! I am devastated and pissed. After 6 months, he wants to shop? Material things mean more to him that being with me... ? (at least thats how i feel right now...) I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention that my family doesn't understand why he wants this time, and he wants me to "cover" for him. He's an idiot!

Any advice? Comment?

Not to be mean or anything like that but.....comments like the bold one above...

This one..."I can't do anything. I don't even want to talk to him."

Or..."Now he has loose ends? #######?! "

And..."He is lame and selfish! "

It sounds like you have a case of the "me, me, me's"...maybe you should let it set in and give him a second. Remember he is THE ONE who is moving around the world to be with you.

Reminds me of a conversation with a friend when I told him I was gonna marry a girl from A LONG WAY FROM THE U.S. Nothing against ALL the western girls, just the ones I met.

Let me explain the situation a little better. My fiance has nothing holding him back. He works under table for a guy who underpays him, and is on a student visa just to maintain his status in the UK. He is already a mechanical engineer and is working as a delivery driver and attending a crappy school to ensure that he can stay there. His life is not enviable at all, and he has vented to me on MANY occasions about how he can not wait for the day he received the US visa. But now that he has it, he wants to stay there to shop. I don't want the bad karma of his actions to follow him into our relationship. My mother and brother have not met him and he will be living in their home. His parents need to apply for visas to come from India for our wedding. Our wedding is October 23, 3009. He will be here a month before our wedding- that's it. The process of preparing for a full-on traditional Indian wedding is daunting to say the least. He is not leaving everything to be with me. He is coming here because it is where we both decided we would live. His parents will be here too, and he hasn't seen them in 4 years! One would think that you would want to rush to them. I am left with the burden of knowing that his greed for material possessions is what is keeping him back. Believe me, if he had things to do or things to sort out- I would not object in the least. I know we will be together, but this is something that impacts everyone now, and it is a decision that he is making. He is buying his airfaire, and there truly is nothing that I can do about it all. And as for western girls- you don't know me. I was born in the US, but am marrying an Indian man- and they are not passive like eastern girls...

[viknkam 0]

I would have to agree with most of the comments here. OP, I understand your frustrations and that you miss and want to be with your fiance as soon as possible. However, you have to remember that he is making a huge life change just so you didn't have too. He's moving across the world so you wouldn't have too. This is a whirlwind process, and sometimes you just need to pause, take a look back and really let the engagement and the idea of the move really sink into your head. Aside from that, this is the last time in his life where he can be a completely independent person and live for himself. After he makes his way to the US it will not just be about him anymore, it will be about you and him. As hard as it might be, try to put yourself into his shoes for a moment and think about how difficult and frightening this transition is going to be from him. Moving to a new country on your own terms in search of your own opportunities is not the same as moving to a new country to share your life and commit to someone.

You make a lot of sense, but I wish that was his only reason because I am all for him enjoying his life and being happy. I have encouraged him to have a bachelor party and go out... but he would protest... It's what is keeping him back that I have no respect or tolerance for...