Mixed Religions

[Sandrila 1]

im christian and he is muslim and the religion part is the easiest part of our marriege.

now cultural differences is another thing.

[amal 4]

I was a very relaxed Christian when hubster and I met. Before I converted, it was not an issue whatsoever in our household EXCEPT for minor things like having a dog and things like that. I began learning Islam to better understand my husband and to start teaching my son what it is that the man believed in (of course, the more I studied, the more I realized that it was the path for me to take lol)

I can see how it could be a total issue in families especially if both people are strong in their beliefs. Adding kids into the mix could be even worse. It can totally go both ways.

[Nothing1234 2]

I knew this thread would take off

****NOTE TO THREAD POSTERS**** What I post is just my OPINION and OPINIONS are like (insert phrase here) EVERYBODY has one!

In response to my post and anyone who was referring to me or my opinion being negative. I don't think any marriage is DOOMED *big lightening bolt* just because people are two different religions. I simply shared what I have seen over time in my family and with friends. I do have an aunt (2nd cousin really) that is married to a Jordanian man, lives in Jordan, is Chrisitan (never converted), raised their sons Muslim, they observe both holidays and respect each others choice in religion and are doing very well together 25 years later in a Muslim country....so it CAN and DOES happen! But by experience over time, I have seen many relationships fail or end when raising children is brought into the mix. So I just shared how I see it.

@ Jenn: You should have responded to my post! I don't take offense. I don't know how you prepare for something that "could" potentially happen, since it most likely won't happen to you if you have communication in your marriage. There are so many other factors I believe.

@ Lisa. I think your idea is brilliant! Let's all check in here in 20 years! NO debates needed. Show me the proof 20 years later.

I truly wish everyone the best in their marriages and would never be negative at one specific situation. I just shared my opinion, the OP asked for advice/replies...if you see me as negative then so be it. It's a public message board and everyone is allowed to voice their own thoughts/opinions. Relax, breath, enjoy, learn and read...that's why we are all here.

See you all in 20 years, ok?

[amal 4]

20 years.... ... ... timer SET!

[ya falaha! 0]

I agree, Donna. Cultural differences are a bigger deal with us, too.

I converted to Islam many years ago but I don't practice. My current husband was born Muslim, doesn't practice either. He says he has a religion but he's not religious. My ex is Muslim and practices and tries to teach our sons to be practicing. That's cool with me. Honestly, I don't care either way if my kids are practicing or not. I think the bigger issues would lie in a tug of war about who is right and who is wrong regarding religion. If partners decide early on (before kids) whose religion will "dominate" then I think things will be cool. I really believe that should be decided. Having children participate in both Muslim and Christian holidays is fine but I do believe that one religion should be dominant and that should be clear from the get go.

im christian and he is muslim and the religion part is the easiest part of our marriege.

now cultural differences is another thing.

[Jenn! 918]

@ Jenn: You should have responded to my post! I don't take offense. I don't know how you prepare for something that "could" potentially happen, since it most likely won't happen to you if you have communication in your marriage. There are so many other factors I believe.

I don't resent at all you telling it like it is - I do believe it's important to know what one is up against. I know that interfaith marriages are uphill battles and most people probably wouldn't even consider it for themselves due to the potential obstacles. Personally, I like I challenge.

The idea that my husband has a good chance to all of a sudden turn uber-religious (sorry if that's offensive, I don't know how else to say it) *is* something that frightens me. Like we've said, if no amount of talking, compromising, and openness can prevent it from happening, then what the heck is one supposed to do to prevent the marriage from falling apart? It's not the "normal", people change/grow apart, "he's not the same person I married" scenario that does happen to many couples as time goes on. Instead it's apparently some sort of religious/cultural phenomenon, and it's not something that could be dealt with - it would be an automatic deal-breaker. Knowing my husband and our relationship, I really don't believe that it's going to happen to us, but I guess some would say that it's basically inevitable. That scares the living ####### out of me when I am due to have his baby any time now. I think I'm dwelling on this too much and need to go eat some ice cream.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

bottom line: if one person believes strongly in their faith, and would like to pass this faith along to their kids, make sure your partner is fine with it. if you both believe in your respective faiths, and argue over which one your children should follow, then there is trouble.

it depends entirely on how open and communicative the couple are in regards to this. i personally rejected two marriage proposals from two of my best friends (one was russian orthodox and the other was a german catholic) because of the issue of how to deal with the kids later on. i am not very orthodox myself but i felt that perhaps if things were to change for me, it would pose an issue and unnecessary headaches down the road.

so, the answer to this is: yes, and no.

lol

[yaziedandlisa 0]

Im christian and my husband is muslim. We talked about raising kids and I have no problems raising my future kids muslim or for my son to start learning now. We dont debate or disagree about anything religious. We do talk about the similarities between the two religions. I love to learn about religion anyway, I always have been fasinated with other peoples beliefs.

My husband has often said... I dont ever think of us as having two different religions.

I'll report back in 20 years and revive this thread for an update

[Nothing1234 2]

@ Jenn: You should have responded to my post! I don't take offense. I don't know how you prepare for something that "could" potentially happen, since it most likely won't happen to you if you have communication in your marriage. There are so many other factors I believe.

I don't resent at all you telling it like it is - I do believe it's important to know what one is up against. I know that interfaith marriages are uphill battles and most people probably wouldn't even consider it for themselves due to the potential obstacles. Personally, I like I challenge.

The idea that my husband has a good chance to all of a sudden turn uber-religious (sorry if that's offensive, I don't know how else to say it) *is* something that frightens me. Like we've said, if no amount of talking, compromising, and openness can prevent it from happening, then what the heck is one supposed to do to prevent the marriage from falling apart? It's not the "normal", people change/grow apart, "he's not the same person I married" scenario that does happen to many couples as time goes on. Instead it's apparently some sort of religious/cultural phenomenon, and it's not something that could be dealt with - it would be an automatic deal-breaker. Knowing my husband and our relationship, I really don't believe that it's going to happen to us, but I guess some would say that it's basically inevitable. That scares the living ####### out of me when I am due to have his baby any time now. I think I'm dwelling on this too much and need to go eat some ice cream.

Ice cream always helps me too! I don't think its necessary to dwell on it at all. It does seem like some sort of religious/cultural phenomenon. As you said, the "he's/she's not the same person I married" scenario happens to many couples as time goes by even without religion playing a part. It just happens. We can't control our future but for sure we can make a difference by always being open, communicating and planning/talking before taking big steps like having children.

Also, I think to be clearer on my opinion (i was typing fast on the first post), I don't think its that people become more religious with "age" as in a number but that their deep felt beliefs may become more apparent in time but age (the number) in itself does not tend to influence religious attitudes. Sometimes it could even be a near death experience or something that has a substantial impact on that persons life. I hope that makes more sense.

Now that I have children and my husband and I share the same religion, I'm still scared of what could happen if we ever decide to part. I think its normal when "Mom" (sorry to leave men out maybe its "parent") mode kicks in to have the future thoughts scenerios come flooding in.

LOL @ uber-religious.

[amal 4]

is "uber religious" in any way similar to being a "super muslim" .... (this was just a joke sorry if it came off as offensive)

[Nothing1234 2]

is "uber religious" in any way similar to being a "super muslim" .... (this was just a joke sorry if it came off as offensive)

There was a video we watched at an ADC (American Arab Anti-Discrimination) meeting we held a few years back and your comment made me giggle. I wish I could remember the name of it. But there was "Super Chrisitan and Super Muslim" in the video. It was on religious tolerance. I LOVED IT! I need to email the guy that brought the video...hmmm...*looking thru contacts*

[amal 4]

Let's say I had a friend...(to keep confidentiality)....whose hubby got to america and basically didn't practice....he moved them to another city/state and when around his muslim friends....well.... he became "super muslim". They would comment about praying and he would say oh, yes, we must, I almost missed the time...... and I remember my friend saying that she thot to herself that it sure was funny how he was all of a sudden praying 5 times a day and acting like he never missed a single one when he was around his friends.... yeah... that's been a secret nickname for a while lol

[allousa 1]

Jenn, I will say that regardless of the differences we may have as husband and wife, the birth of our son has taken our relationship to another level. The love we have for each other as we watch the other with our son....it gives me goosebumps to just think about it.

Load up on the ice cream girlie!!!!! Oh and get lots and lots and lots of rest!

[angie & abed 1]

We agreed to teach our kids both religions, neither of us are very religious though, as long as they know God that is what's important to us. But, if asked, we do say they are Muslim.

Malak (our oldest daughter at 22 months), the little Muslim, Arab-American girl, loves to watch the local Christian channel where all the Southern Christian people get together and sing really badly and read her book "My Little Bible" she got at the Baptist hospital where her sister was born while wearing a blanket over her head like a hijab because that's how her favorite aunt looks....guess our kids are going to be very confused....

I dread when they get older and want to date....poor boys!

I also think cultural differences are a heck of a lot worse than the religious differences. It seems that my liberal-like husband is becoming a little more conservative and "typical Arab" each day....oh joy!

[Ayman and Yasmina 0]

I didnt read all the comments cause I know at least one is bound to annoy me!!! My mom is catholic my dad was Muslim they were together 21 years till death did them part...Never was an issue..We had a Christmas tee every year...we went to mosque...Its the people that make things work not religion...First rule of Islam is to respect...I do believe its something to be discussed before marriage though!