Mixed Religions

[sara..... 371]

I am Muslim and perviz is Muslim, we have some family members that have married out side of our religion, the biggest issue is children, it is normally the mother that guides her children into religion, if the father is Muslim this is not so easy.

i have seen disagreements on simple daily issues with children more after the children get older than when they are little.

simple things such as dancing, how the child dresses, going to homes of their friends that eat pork, dating, its hard i wont say it is easy for a Muslim and non Muslim to raise children. it takes a lot of work it can be done, but its hard. and it requires a lot of thought before u bring a child into the relationship.

i will never go so far as to say that it can never work because i have seen it work, but it took a lot of work from the couple.

and u cant forget the Muslim mans parents, if they see a child being raised non Muslim they are not going to be silent about it because it is their duty to object.

really i have so so much respect and admiration for the women that are not Muslim that marry a Muslim. they have to work 100 times harder than we do to make it work.

i always prayer especially extra for all of the women that have entered into a marraige with a Muslim that are not Muslim them self.

sara

[Jenn! 918]

It would piss me off to read that things are all sunshine and rainbows when it's not! I do believe that most MENA peeps on here are straight forward and aren't going to lie.

I know several couples of mixed religions that this is probably the major topic of issues within their relationship and it has posed difficulties for them. Yes...these relationships can work IF you have good communication and BOTH are willing to compromise.

Sorry, but I'm not going to rose-color some of these issues when you marry MENA. I'm about being real and I would want people to be real with me.

I think there's a difference between being real and saying it takes a lot of work to make it work, especially when you add children to the mix. And that many couples don't make it - those are facts.

What bothers me is the implication that no matter how great your relationship is and how well you have dealt with these issues thus far, it's likely that in 20 years he's going to become an entirely different person, unrecognizable to you and everything that you've worked for in your relationship is going to be for naught. Speaking honestly, that terrifies me - how can you prepare for that?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Im christian and my husband is muslim. We talked about raising kids and I have no problems raising my future kids muslim or for my son to start learning now. We dont debate or disagree about anything religious. We do talk about the similarities between the two religions. I love to learn about religion anyway, I always have been fasinated with other peoples beliefs.

My husband has often said... I dont ever think of us as having two different religions.

I'll report back in 20 years and revive this thread for an update

[tany1157 161]

I am Catholic and Wael is Muslim. We have had no problems or issues with each others religions..

I am with him during Ramadan and he is with me during Christmas and other Christian hoidays.

I do believe knowledge is the greatest gift we have when it comes to religion. He respects my

views as I do his. We have a happy medium in this respect.

It can work. I am Christian, Ouadia is Muslim. We talked about this alot, and we both respect eachothers views. He also agreed since he will be moving into the U.S. that I can raise the children Christian. As they get older, and learn about other religions, they are free to choose what they want to believe. Ouadia and I have agreed, that our children are free to believe what they want, but as they are growing, that it will be church for them. We both respect and celebrate our different cultures and religions. We feel if more people were this way, the world would be a better place. Good luck with everything!!

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I am Catholic and Wael is Muslim. We have had no problems or issues with each others religions..

I am with him during Ramadan and he is with me during Christmas and other Christian hoidays.

I do believe knowledge is the greatest gift we have when it comes to religion. He respects my

views as I do his. We have a happy medium in this respect.

It can work. I am Christian, Ouadia is Muslim. We talked about this alot, and we both respect eachothers views. He also agreed since he will be moving into the U.S. that I can raise the children Christian. As they get older, and learn about other religions, they are free to choose what they want to believe. Ouadia and I have agreed, that our children are free to believe what they want, but as they are growing, that it will be church for them. We both respect and celebrate our different cultures and religions. We feel if more people were this way, the world would be a better place. Good luck with everything!!

This is the same situation for my sister and her husband. Shes christian, hes muslim. Both respect one another. They have 2 daughters.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

I am Catholic and Wael is Muslim. We have had no problems or issues with each others religions..

I am with him during Ramadan and he is with me during Christmas and other Christian hoidays.

I do believe knowledge is the greatest gift we have when it comes to religion. He respects my

views as I do his. We have a happy medium in this respect.

It can work. I am Christian, Ouadia is Muslim. We talked about this alot, and we both respect eachothers views. He also agreed since he will be moving into the U.S. that I can raise the children Christian. As they get older, and learn about other religions, they are free to choose what they want to believe. Ouadia and I have agreed, that our children are free to believe what they want, but as they are growing, that it will be church for them. We both respect and celebrate our different cultures and religions. We feel if more people were this way, the world would be a better place. Good luck with everything!!

This is exactly what we agreed. Hubby is Muslim, I Catholic/Lutheran our child will choose when they are ready, till then, they will have both religions while growing up, and will have both religions to celebrate while growing up and learning both.

A marriage is not doomed due to a mix religion, it is the best of both worlds. It is what you make of it, it is what you make of your life, just like any other thing in your life. Boils down to RESPECT . PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Donna A 4]

im christian and he is muslim and the religion part is the easiest part of our marriege.

now cultural differences is another thing.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

im christian and he is muslim and the religion part is the easiest part of our marriege.

now cultural differences is another thing.

Now that is something I agree with for sure. Both of us are pretty close to the same in (religious) beliefs, but cultural things are another thing!

[Staashi 371]

It would piss me off to read that things are all sunshine and rainbows when it's not! I do believe that most MENA peeps on here are straight forward and aren't going to lie.

I know several couples of mixed religions that this is probably the major topic of issues within their relationship and it has posed difficulties for them. Yes...these relationships can work IF you have good communication and BOTH are willing to compromise.

Sorry, but I'm not going to rose-color some of these issues when you marry MENA. I'm about being real and I would want people to be real with me.

Amen, sister! This reminds me of the saying, "Don't pizz on my boots and tell me its raining." Religion in relationships is the most divisive issue in two parties that are of different faiths. I see it as the whole "sometimes love just isn't enough" factor. Two people of different faiths can be awesome together - until kids get thrown into the mix and then you're farked.

[attaya_girl 1]

I don't have children yet, but my fiance is Muslim and I am in the non-practicing Christian/Spiritually open-minded category We both love and respect each other for who we are--not for the hope that one or the other might change. I don't believe I'll ever convert, and he has told me many times that if I do decide to convert, that it should be out my own personal will and for God-not for my fiance. I love him and respect him for who he his, and I wouldn't want to change him for the world. When we have kids, we agreed (like many people here) that they would attend the Unitarian church with me and he will teach them about Islam. I will fast with him during Ramadan, etc and we will celebrate Christmas and Easter with my family. Because he is much more active in his beliefs, though, our kids will probably be Muslim. If they grow up to be half as kind and loving and generous as he is, I'll be happy.

[allousa 1]

It would piss me off to read that things are all sunshine and rainbows when it's not! I do believe that most MENA peeps on here are straight forward and aren't going to lie.

I know several couples of mixed religions that this is probably the major topic of issues within their relationship and it has posed difficulties for them. Yes...these relationships can work IF you have good communication and BOTH are willing to compromise.

Sorry, but I'm not going to rose-color some of these issues when you marry MENA. I'm about being real and I would want people to be real with me.

I think there's a difference between being real and saying it takes a lot of work to make it work, especially when you add children to the mix. And that many couples don't make it - those are facts.

What bothers me is the implication that no matter how great your relationship is and how well you have dealt with these issues thus far, it's likely that in 20 years he's going to become an entirely different person, unrecognizable to you and everything that you've worked for in your relationship is going to be for naught. Speaking honestly, that terrifies me - how can you prepare for that?

? I'm not sure where I've said that in 20 years he's going to be a different person..

My first marriage to an American man ended after just 5 years because he became a different person than who I first met. There aren't ANY promises when it comes to marriage....PERIOD....no matter the culture. I don't know ONE SINGLE COUPLE that have it perfect and easy. Marriage takes work....heck any relationship for that matter takes work. Relationships with your kids/co-workers/friends. People can hurt your feelings and vice versa.

I'm just being honest that since we've had our son...things HAVE changed than what we first talked about. We HAD planned to find a way to combine all holidays, but now Hicham doesn't want our son to know any religious aspect of Christmas or Easter as he thinks that will confuse him. He says he would prefer we raise our son in a Muslim country because here in America he is surrounded by so many things that could confuse him. So it takes alot of communication for us to work through this.

I'm NOT saying that ALL these relationships are doomed...I just know from MY experience it IS hard and we are going on 9 years. Perhaps it's hard because I'm not willing to give into everything that Hicham wants.

Not sure why I'm being hand-slapped for being honest about it.

[nurse1967 287]

I don't know you are being "hand slapped" I just think that just because this is YOUR experience with YOUR husband doesn't mean that is how all MENA guys are. Some Egyptian guys would have freaked if their wife was in Cairo in capri pants. My hubby never said a WORD. I have never covered in Egypt or been asked to cover by my hubby. I know other women who's SO demanded it. So there you go. Every person and marriage is different. Thank goodness for that.

[Sandrila 1]

Sure have.

My husband is Muslim and I am Christian. I really am not practicing

I also am very spiritual and have an interest in various religions not any one in particular.

For hubby there is only one. I have not converted nor do I plan to but I am always reading and researching to learn as much as I can about Islam and respect as the wife of a Muslim man.

Yes there are differences but I don't find our differences so much with religion as much with culture.

Welcome and Good Luck.

Alot of the ladies here are very knowledgable and can offer some great resources to help you.

[Jenn! 918]

It would piss me off to read that things are all sunshine and rainbows when it's not! I do believe that most MENA peeps on here are straight forward and aren't going to lie.

I know several couples of mixed religions that this is probably the major topic of issues within their relationship and it has posed difficulties for them. Yes...these relationships can work IF you have good communication and BOTH are willing to compromise.

Sorry, but I'm not going to rose-color some of these issues when you marry MENA. I'm about being real and I would want people to be real with me.

I think there's a difference between being real and saying it takes a lot of work to make it work, especially when you add children to the mix. And that many couples don't make it - those are facts.

What bothers me is the implication that no matter how great your relationship is and how well you have dealt with these issues thus far, it's likely that in 20 years he's going to become an entirely different person, unrecognizable to you and everything that you've worked for in your relationship is going to be for naught. Speaking honestly, that terrifies me - how can you prepare for that?

? I'm not sure where I've said that in 20 years he's going to be a different person..

My first marriage to an American man ended after just 5 years because he became a different person than who I first met. There aren't ANY promises when it comes to marriage....PERIOD....no matter the culture. I don't know ONE SINGLE COUPLE that have it perfect and easy. Marriage takes work....heck any relationship for that matter takes work. Relationships with your kids/co-workers/friends. People can hurt your feelings and vice versa.

I'm just being honest that since we've had our son...things HAVE changed than what we first talked about. We HAD planned to find a way to combine all holidays, but now Hicham doesn't want our son to know any religious aspect of Christmas or Easter as he thinks that will confuse him. He says he would prefer we raise our son in a Muslim country because here in America he is surrounded by so many things that could confuse him. So it takes alot of communication for us to work through this.

I'm NOT saying that ALL these relationships are doomed...I just know from MY experience it IS hard and we are going on 9 years. Perhaps it's hard because I'm not willing to give into everything that Hicham wants.

Not sure why I'm being hand-slapped for being honest about it.

You were not the one who said that in 20 years he could do a 180. I was *trying* to point out that you were presenting the reality of the situation, and not saying that all the relationships are doomed.

So, to clarify my previous post. The first sentence was my agreement with your thoughts on the matter, the second paragraph was in response to another poster's assertion.

I'm sorry you keep taking my posts as though I am trying to pick a fight with you. Really I am not, I think you are misunderstanding me. I'll refrain from quoting your posts in the future.

Edited August 27, 2009 by Jenn!

[Sandrila 1]

I am Muslim and perviz is Muslim, we have some family members that have married out side of our religion, the biggest issue is children, it is normally the mother that guides her children into religion, if the father is Muslim this is not so easy.

i have seen disagreements on simple daily issues with children more after the children get older than when they are little.

simple things such as dancing, how the child dresses, going to homes of their friends that eat pork, dating, its hard i wont say it is easy for a Muslim and non Muslim to raise children. it takes a lot of work it can be done, but its hard. and it requires a lot of thought before u bring a child into the relationship.

i will never go so far as to say that it can never work because i have seen it work, but it took a lot of work from the couple.

and u cant forget the Muslim mans parents, if they see a child being raised non Muslim they are not going to be silent about it because it is their duty to object.

really i have so so much respect and admiration for the women that are not Muslim that marry a Muslim. they have to work 100 times harder than we do to make it work.

i always prayer especially extra for all of the women that have entered into a marraige with a Muslim that are not Muslim them self.

sara

Thank you Sara