The "RULEs" of MEN

[newlyweds 0]

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear " the rules "

From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... These are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

Or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

[_Simpson_ 250]

I am one of those men that will actually ask for directions, I cant stand being lost and I want to get off the road and out of my vehicle asap.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Crying is blackmail, so true.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

Oh I don't know about this one:

1. You have too many shoes.

I own 4 pairs of shoes/sandals.

My fiance owns 16 pairs of shoes... and he's the guy.

[NickD 202]

As much as I love my wife, still say, this is a yes or no question, please answer it that way.

We are out of food, do you want to go to the grocery store? Is a yes or no question.

But some questions can only be answered with a yes. Would you like to go upstairs? Is one of those.

[thepizzadude 26]

:rofl:

[newlyweds 0]

Oh I don't know about this one:

1. You have too many shoes.

I own 4 pairs of shoes/sandals.

My fiance owns 16 pairs of shoes... and he's the guy.

My fiance knows how I LOVE shoes lol  he actually helps me look for shoes..i mean after all, he's the one I wanna look good for  

He also does buy shoes for himself which I like because I think they say a lot about a guy

[newlyweds 0]

But some questions can only be answered with a yes. Would you like to go upstairs? Is one of those.

hahaha I think my fiancee would agree with you LOL

my mom actually told me that as much as possible, never say no lol  unless of course, the woman is sick or something

[Jamaican JNR 2]

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear " the rules "

From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... These are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

Or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

Just for agreeing, I might have to sleep on the couch tonight... lol

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

So meaningful!

[Rhiannercakes 14]

Oh I don't know about this one:

1. You have too many shoes.

I own 4 pairs of shoes/sandals.

My fiance owns 16 pairs of shoes... and he's the guy.

My fiance knows how I LOVE shoes lol  he actually helps me look for shoes..i mean after all, he's the one I wanna look good for  

He also does buy shoes for himself which I like because I think they say a lot about a guy

I think being able to pick his own shoes is nice too, but omg, he doesn't need 16 pairs of them

[NickD 202]

Wife is always after me to buy a new pair of shoes, getting new shoes is a very emotional experience, you have to break them in, and be with them for a couple of months to develop a strong friendship, shoes have to get use to you, and you to them. Once that bond develops, difficult to part with an old friend. One pair of shoes is fine with me, but now I have four pairs. She buys a pair of shoes, I get mine for half off, so give in. But three of those shoes are still in the boxes yet. But I did open a box of all white walking shoes, wife and daughter said I really look cool. When nobody was looking, I ran in them, not suppose to run in walking shoes, suppose to buy running shoes. Did you know they make special treadmill shoes? I didn't know that. See I should be buying a special set of shoes for my bicycle as well, and looking for a good pair of driving shoes.

Wife seems to have about a hundred pair of shoes, thought she only had about 25, but found a lot more in the spare bedroom closets, not only shoes, but have to have a matching purse and gloves. She must have a complex about her height, are those shoes or are they stilts? God, how can women wear those things? But she is a very careful shopper and really dresses up very well and looks great. Ha, around the house, she likes wearing my tee shirts, more like wearing a dress for her, but never outside, has to get dressed up first. She can change quicker than I can put on my shoes, can't complain about that.

[Twisted K 2]

Wife is always after me to buy a new pair of shoes, getting new shoes is a very emotional experience, you have to break them in, and be with them for a couple of months to develop a strong friendship, shoes have to get use to you, and you to them. Once that bond develops, difficult to part with an old friend. One pair of shoes is fine with me, but now I have four pairs. She buys a pair of shoes, I get mine for half off, so give in. But three of those shoes are still in the boxes yet. But I did open a box of all white walking shoes, wife and daughter said I really look cool. When nobody was looking, I ran in them, not suppose to run in walking shoes, suppose to buy running shoes. Did you know they make special treadmill shoes? I didn't know that. See I should be buying a special set of shoes for my bicycle as well, and looking for a good pair of driving shoes.

Wife seems to have about a hundred pair of shoes, thought she only had about 25, but found a lot more in the spare bedroom closets, not only shoes, but have to have a matching purse and gloves. She must have a complex about her height, are those shoes or are they stilts? God, how can women wear those things? But she is a very careful shopper and really dresses up very well and looks great. Ha, around the house, she likes wearing my tee shirts, more like wearing a dress for her, but never outside, has to get dressed up first. She can change quicker than I can put on my shoes, can't complain about that.

consider yourself blessed, nick, my husband always complains that it takes me forever to get ready. i have to make sure every hair on my head is in place. can't go out looking like a slob. of course, i am not as slow as my sisters or my mom

[SuperDuper! 230]

I am one of those men that will actually ask for directions, I cant stand being lost and I want to get off the road and out of my vehicle asap.

They have these thingys now called GPS. Asking homocidal strangers for directions no longer needed.

Crying is blackmail, so true.

Just be glad you don't have to bear the Filipina's secret weapon against her man...

[Ban Hammer 13,333]

Just be glad you don't have to bear the Filipina's secret weapon against her man...

which is?