Fighting with your spouse

[Cristy 4]

When we were apart, silence from him (man that makes me mad) and I wanted to talk talk talk (man that made him mad lol)

Now that we are together we are really learning how to communicate in person again. I have been trying really hard to let him just go and be quiet and come to me when he is ready.

We had 3 fights the first 3 days I was here but nothing since. This stress does terrible things.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Apparently he doesn't like to be told how to drive, lol.

Maybe he needs to put one of these on the passenger side dash.

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

I always like the making up bit afterward...and NO IT DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN SEX !!! LOL...sometimes for us its the cuddling or the holding hands...without saying a word...but both of us know that it's ok and there are no need for words....that is the best feeling in the world. Sometimes our arguements or disagreements bring us closer ironically enough. Again, it's down to how well two ppl communicate and if they are on the same page or not. You can always disagree, but it's knowing how to compromise as well.

LJ

[evilcanuck 0]

if we ever have a fight....i'll be sure to post

ya know speaking of driving.....my ex used to tell me how to drive all the frikkin time....he lost his license about 5 frikkin times....i have a PERFECT driving record....hmmmmm

[Bunnyqr 0]

Well since we are in a fight now I can give you raw information. First I was cold, then I went silent. Few minutes later off the phone I cried my eyes out and called my dad to tell me how to handle the situation I was in. I was losing my mind and needed direction.

I cried it out, ate some chocolate ice cream and took a nap.

Our phone calls are strained now. He always tells me he loves me, even when I am mad at him. He tries to use humor to make me laugh. I tend to hold a grudge longer than he does. So 3 days now I am feeling better and decided not to bring up what we have fought about. It happened, its done and now I need to put one foot forward. Even when I am mad, I tell him I love him.

He is the talker, he always want to talk it through and get it all out in the open. I think he is more mature than I am with that. I tend to want to give him the silent treatment but he just won't let me. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. I guess that is the answer for us. Talk it out and no matter what let the other know we love each other even when we are mad.

[djcess 0]

expressing your feelings on a letter without blaming works all the time!

[Karen_L 1]

Name calling in my opinion leaves permanent scars. I was raised not to call people names. Unfortunately, I happened to marry (first wife) someone who wouldn't hesitate to call me names. It really stung when she'd do it in front of our kids....sigh. So, yes, you have to fight fair - there are somethings that are really hard to forget.

Yeah, name-calling is ridiculous and I think people do that during an argument when they don't even feel like arguing and just want to hurt the other person. It's childish.

My fiance' has never really been angry at me, though I have been VERY mad at him in the past, mostly because of thoughless things he has said (though never name-calling). I usually don't want to discuss it when I'm angry, even though I know you should talk about it. I go silent and when he notices the change, he prods me into telling him what's wrong and then I do, because he's bugging me. But that's only when I'm REALLY upset. When I'm just mildly aggravated with him, though, I tell him right away.

So...how often do arguements happen to most people here.

Occasionally, but things are usually pretty peaceful.

[babybunny 2]

I will call you a name if pizzzed off to the 2nd power. normally its because that person EARNED it. then I belt out something like

you Mother Trucker!!

[chri'stina 190]

There seems to be a common theme with the women on here... the dreaded "silent treatment". Where the hell do you guys learn that from? Is there a special class you guys go to to learn how to do it?

It's just plain annoying!!!

Hey not all women are the same!

I would rarely ever give the silent treatment...I like to talk things out. Sujeet tends to get more quiet and that can be hard because I like to say whatever I am feeling at that moment. If there ever is any silent treatment, it doesn't last very long.

Sometimes DURING arguing we laugh at ourselves for arguing about such a stupid thing in the first place, and then we apologize and things are fine. I mean there have been moments when I was very upset, and we'd be arguing and then literally start laughing in the middle of it. I guess it's because you sometimes realize how ridiculous you are acting in the midst of it.

Making up is fine but I'd rather never argue in the first place.