Fighting with your spouse

[*Robert* 2]

We are both stubborn, I want want I want, he want's what he wants, so we argue, ect.... He usually ends up doing what he wants, I do what I want, or if he wants to go to do something I usually try to support him

I'm soooooooo confused!!!

[gwenneh 7]

What are the rules? Do you each have your own style (silent treatment, yelling, door slamming, name-calling)?

How do you make-up?

We do have rules to the discussions we have:

No silent treatment. Nothing gets solved that way.

No screaming. I tend to get heated very easily and raise my voice.

No walking away. Even if we sit in the same room on opposite sides, walking away from the discussion is not allowed.

No going to bed angry!

[*Robert* 2]

What are the rules? Do you each have your own style (silent treatment, yelling, door slamming, name-calling)?

How do you make-up?

We do have rules to the discussions we have:

No silent treatment. Nothing gets solved that way.

No screaming. I tend to get heated very easily and raise my voice.

No walking away. Even if we sit in the same room on opposite sides, walking away from the discussion is not allowed.

No going to bed angry!

We don't have any rules, that way if you do break one, the other person doesn't get that much angrier!!!

having rules just causes more problems...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

What are the rules? Do you each have your own style (silent treatment, yelling, door slamming, name-calling)?

How do you make-up?

We do have rules to the discussions we have:

No silent treatment. Nothing gets solved that way.

No screaming. I tend to get heated very easily and raise my voice.

No walking away. Even if we sit in the same room on opposite sides, walking away from the discussion is not allowed.

No going to bed angry!

That's awesome! It sounds like you both are at least on the same page as to how to deal with conflict. I'm learning that confronting the issue right at that moment isn't always productive though. Sometimes both parties need to go back to their corner and let the turmoil simmer before you can say anything productive to each other. I never have success with insisting on some kind of compromise or resolve - that tends to bring about resentment.

[wherezdabearz 0]

No going to bed angry is one of ours too.

And even when we're angry, no refusal of physical contact. I find that challenging as my inclination if I'm upset is to withdraw, but if John reaches for my hand I won't pull away. It's hard to raise your voice to the person who's holding your hand. I think we resolve issues more quickly because if this.

[sowens 0]

We have some things that are similar to Gwen and Steve and Jinky.

I am the silent one, and he is the one voicing concern etc. Usually the arguments we have been having are common and stupid misunderstandings.

We never say anything we cant take back, no name calling or saying hurtful spaiteful things.

and NEVER EVER go to bed Angry. Even if I am wrong (usually I am not ha ha) I will swallow my pride just so we dont go to bed angry.

bottom line, there are deffinately rules to fighting with your spouse or SO, fight fair!! Always make up!!

and apparently laundry is involved....LOL...I ont get that bit, but oh well.

[*Robert* 2]

and apparently laundry is involved....LOL...I ont get that bit, but oh well.

Sowens, it's a joke around OT that "doing laundry" is another way of saying "having sex"!

Keeping everything clean!!!

[wherezdabearz 0]

More filth!

Oops, wrong thread

[*Robert* 2]

More filth!

Oops, wrong thread

LMAO Bad girl!!!

[wherezdabearz 0]

[sowens 0]

Sowens, it's a joke around OT that "doing laundry" is another way of saying "having sex"!

LOL....wow am I red in the face!

[*Robert* 2]

Sowens, it's a joke around OT that "doing laundry" is another way of saying "having sex"!

LOL....wow am I red in the face!

That's okay!

[CanGal 1]

I am a loud and quiet person at the same time. I guess it depends what we are fighting about, there are some issues I just get so angry I just get real quiet and don't say a word (and that drives him nuts cuz he asks continually, whats wrong and I continually say in a cold matter, nothing!) and then there are times when I may get a little loud. I never resort to name calling or anything but I do get frustrated sometimes when I dno't think he's hearing me or even trying to understand me. My husband though is more of the mediator I would say. He is the one that never raises his voice or really gets angry. He would rather just leave rather than get in a heated discussion, so sometimes I think he avoids confrontation. Sometimes that drives me nuts, sometimes I wish I could jsut see him get as angry as I am. Never happens but we eventually end up talking most of it out, if not all, enough to a livable level till next time :-p. Then we hug and kiss and apologize and go on our merry way.

Edited July 11, 2006 by CanGal

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Because we are apart, when she's upset she gets quiet and cold over the phone. I tend to be

confrontational which makes matters worse. Then I have to figure what it is I've done wrong now.

Usually when I let her just take her time, she comes to her senses, but when it's something that's

really bothering her, she'll be silent and cold for awhile. That's when I have to frantically guess

what's bothering her.

I can handle her being angry as long she expresses it - tells me that she's angry. But when she just

goes silent and expects me to read her mind - that drives me nuts, literally!

it's kinda like wheel of fortune without the board or being able to buy a vowel

[Sharon 1]

I can count on one hand the number of serious fights we've had -- we bicker all the time, however. Apparently he doesn't like to be told how to drive, lol.

ya. don't EVER tell a guy how to drive.

Daniel

:energetic:

I hear the words "I HAVE A FREAKIN' CDL FOR CHRISSAKES!!" from my hubby on a daily basis.