Your Filipino Wife/Fiancée

[mark&rhiz 0]

you know...I have to admit it crossed my mind at first, not because of anything Rhiz did or said that made me wonder....but just because I have gone through unpleasant situations before in my life, there was that little bit of wondering. I do not live in the past and I do not judge based upon the actions of other people.

I agree there has to be trust to have love, and it is not just us USC that have to trust it is also our fiancé's and spouses, let us not forget that it is them who also taking a chance that the person is who they present themselves to be. Has anyone ever come to the USA just to find out that the USC is abusive or has not presented himself accurately.

Rhiz, has never asked me how much money I make, never asked me how long takes to get green card or how long before conditions are raised etc etc.

Honestly, I trust her with all my heart. I do not think I am blind, I just believe that if people do not have trust to begin with, then how close can their relationship truly be, since they will spend time suspecting each other motives/actions.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Hi! Iam a Filipina fiancee. For the first few months, I knew that my fiancee somehow had doubt about me. Well, I guess that`s the thing that we cannot remove to our American fiance with all the news they are getting about scammers from other countries (not just Philippines of course!). I was not hurt because I knew if Iam in his position, I too will not trust anyone so easy. Actually, at first too, I did not trust him that much...sometimes I thought, what if he`s a serial killer...haha! But as we got along, talking everyday on phone or chat, sharing our thoughts and everyday stories, just continuous communication..all those doubts just faded away and replaced with trust, then love. I think long distance relationship is a process. It needs patience, time and trust. After 6 years of being in a LDR, i think there is no more `what if`s` in our relationship.

-->To all American guys, get to know your partners well, may she be an American lady or a foreigner so you won`t regret being in a relationship in the end. I think, it would be best to know your gfs in person first. Spend time with them and always try to be open about them. Tell them your doubts or worries but of course in a nice way...hehe.

---> To all Filipina ladies, well if our partners doubt us then it`s up to us to prove to them they are wrong. If we really love our partners, we should understand their feelings. If we have doubts about them, well we should tell them too. Be open-minded.

You must have asked yourself once what if she might just use you to obtain a GC or get you to send her $$$ but you still gave it a shot.

What's with her after all that you've become so fond of her and the process of bringing her to the States stirs excitement, frustration, and anticipation?

FAE

That's right. Pinays have their own doubts and mixed emotions too. I thought Mr. Bill was a serial killer and an ax murderer at first. I was telling myself, "Who knows?" But he turned out to be a wonderful, caring person. What is not to love about him?

[vichygurl 1]

You must have asked yourself once what if she might just use you to obtain a GC or get you to send her $$$ but you still gave it a shot.

What's with her after all that you've become so fond of her and the process of bringing her to the States stirs excitement, frustration, and anticipation?

FAE

I'm the filipina wife here. I'll speak for my husband. He told me ones he then thought about that..(me after for GC and $$), later realized he said he has nothing to lose cause he don't have enough $$ and with the GC.. doubtful if USCIS will approved AOS petition since no enough financial support. Matter of fact he used my mom in law to be the co-sponsor.

Now we are living the simple life in our little house. He is receiving his disability and I am working. He actually have 3 beautiful kids in his first marriage and I was very much single then. What makes him fond of me? He said my attitude and ideas. What makes me fond of him? His sincerity. We've been married for 1 year and 28 days today to be exact. I got my GC 6 months ago.. I'm still here with him.. loving and loving him more.

Vida Taylor

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Hi! Iam a Filipina fiancee. For the first few months, I knew that my fiancee somehow had doubt about me. Well, I guess that`s the thing that we cannot remove to our American fiance with all the news they are getting about scammers from other countries (not just Philippines of course!). I was not hurt because I knew if Iam in his position, I too will not trust anyone so easy. Actually, at first too, I did not trust him that much...sometimes I thought, what if he`s a serial killer...haha! But as we got along, talking everyday on phone or chat, sharing our thoughts and everyday stories, just continuous communication..all those doubts just faded away and replaced with trust, then love. I think long distance relationship is a process. It needs patience, time and trust. After 6 years of being in a LDR, i think there is no more `what if`s` in our relationship.

-->To all American guys, get to know your partners well, may she be an American lady or a foreigner so you won`t regret being in a relationship in the end. I think, it would be best to know your gfs in person first. Spend time with them and always try to be open about them. Tell them your doubts or worries but of course in a nice way...hehe.

---> To all Filipina ladies, well if our partners doubt us then it`s up to us to prove to them they are wrong. If we really love our partners, we should understand their feelings. If we have doubts about them, well we should tell them too. Be open-minded.

You must have asked yourself once what if she might just use you to obtain a GC or get you to send her $$$ but you still gave it a shot.

What's with her after all that you've become so fond of her and the process of bringing her to the States stirs excitement, frustration, and anticipation?

FAE

That's right. Pinays have their own doubts and mixed emotions too. I thought Mr. Bill was a serial killer and an ax murderer at first. I was telling myself, "Who knows?" But he turned out to be a wonderful, caring person. What is not to love about him?

Not convicted, yet.

[jom 4]

It never crossed my mind or even asked myself if she just wanted GC or money because she had a good life and profitable work in the Philippines. I am not a rich man and I know I "took her away" from that kind of life . I also know that she could have married someone "rich" but still she chose me.

What I love the most about my wife is her intelligence and sense of humor. Even in the very bad situation she is still calm and very postive. I still have to hear her lose her temper. Even when angry with something she still speaks calmy but firm.

When my daughter brought my first blood grandson to our house, she asked if her Mom ( my first ex-wife ) could come visit to see the baby. I divorced her Mom because she got back into doing drugs. My daughter also asked if her Mom could stay with us because she has no money to stay in a hotel. I said NO because of her druggie backround . But my wife interfered and asked me what I would feel if my second ex wife would not let me see my two sons. I understood and let her decide. So, my first ex wife stayed in our house for ten days, to help my daughter out with the new baby.

My siblings were so worried and they called Myla everyday to check on her. But she actually got along well with the ex. Not many women would do the same thing as my wife did. She did it for my daughter and my grandson and because of that she was even more admired by my family and friends. I married a mature woman who feels very secure and knows where she stand in my life.

I am in very good hands and she is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Joe

[Gumbolette 58]

I will speak for my husband. I am the pinay wife.

When I met my husband who was just 22 years old by then, he was a type of person who is very reserved. When his few friends knew about me, he was warned by them that I might be just using him to get my a$$ off here in my country. But still, his decision was never diverted to cut whatever we had that time.. Because HE KNOWS ME FULLY. And now, we've been married for 1 yr and 2 mons and 5 days to be exact.

Scammers are just out there. Others have picked them up concealing their real motives. Others have gotten the opposite. But if you think all ladies would suck up your $ and use your to obtain GC, then I think you should have thought before opening your heart to someone who's from a foreign country.

Edited August 22, 2009 by LÜvtechwifey

[JoBri 545]

Well, I never doubted my wife'si ntentions. She knew from the beginning I didnt earn very much. She also already had a very good career in the Philippines, the youngest principal in her district of 100 principals. She had her masters degree too, and could just about do anything she wanted without me.

She wanted me with her, and even asked if I wouldnt move to the Philippines rather than she moving here. But I wanted to be near my elderly parents.

I couldnt afford the trip there to meet her, but that didnt matter to ehr. She paid my round trip airfare and the hotel bill, because I couldnt afford it.

She gave up her career to be with me, her private driver, ehr maid, her cook. She gave up her friends to be with me. She left everything behind that she had aquired or accomplished, which was a lot, to start over from the bottom with me, because she loved me.

Just very recently I learned she was abused in the past. She doesnt feel comfortable talking about it. I dont know if it was sexual abuse, from her adoptive aunt and uncle when she lost her parents at age 5 when a ferry sank, or if it was other physical abuse, or emotional abuse. I guess she may tell me sometime... but it doesnt matter.... The point is, she had a very horrific experinece in her life, abuse of some kind, yet she trusted me. And she loves me, and she sacrificed all for me, and that is all that matters..... I am learning so much every day. I consider myself more blessed than anyone else here. Maybe I realistically am not, but to me I am...because I never have ever had such a gift in my life like my wife. Oh yeh... I complained about some things in the past without opening my eyes or knowing the whole story.... and I also got attacked in the past when I was trying to figure out things in the past, by other people on here. But the attacks only made me realize what a precious thing I have in my wife, and made me grateful that it is SHE who is my wife and no one else.

My wife has always accepted me just as I am, with all my flaws, with all my twisted questions, with all my shortcomings. There is none like her... there is none so admirable. She is my wife, she loves me no matter what, and I am grateful, and can see through all the blessings why I wanted her with me in spite of all the risks. God is good, and he blesses us even when we are blind, even when we dont deserve the blessingss.... At least he blessed me.....

[annaprice 17]

Anna has never asked me for anything. She would never say "Hey I/we need this, can you send me some money".

In fact after I finally convinced her to let me send her a laptop we were told that we had to pay 12,000Php import tarriff. Of course I just wanted her to get the laptop so we could use magicjack & YM web cam easier so I Western Unioned her the money for the tarriff. I almost went crazy as she spent 3 days arguing with DHL to get the tarriff reduces to under 500Php! Then she was going to send me back the rest of the money!

Even today, after 7 months of marriage she doesn't ask for anything. Of course I always send enough so she has extra.

We had a situation were it looked like USCIS was going to have to deny my I-130 petitions for her and our son. We were sure that they'd never be able to come to the US. Not for a second did she even think about leaving me. We just started thinking about how we could work it for me to visit every year for a few years and finally move to PH to live out the rest of our lives together.

During all of this she always thinks about me and has been my strength when I had none.

I have no doubts that Anna is my heart. We are 2 halves of the same soul.

So what is it about her? Everything... Simply everything about her. What more can I say, how can I explain Love when there is no begining and no end?

aww that is just so sweet :blushing: well im speechless then :]

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I am the wife and I will speak for my husband. I won't elaborate things here but would just simply say that I was the only one who never asked anything and refused, felt insulted, told him "go away" and vanished when my husband then fiance offered me money.

[bowgirl 8]

When I was on FilipinaHeart.com, there was a guy who sent me a message asking If I'm one of those filipinas who will use their fiance to get out of Philippines and go to US..? I sent him back a message and told him that whatever experience he had that made him think/say like that doesn't mean that all filipinas are same. There are honest and genuine filipinas out there. As for me, I never asked anything from Chris. I worked 4 years abroad so I had enough savings when I came back to Manila. Even now, that we are married, I still don't ask because I have work, enough income for me and my daughter to survive. He sends for documents related to our I-130 petition. He doesn't send me money because he knows I don't really need it but he sends gifts, hehehe..

[Binow 0]

I have a buddy that completely got taken beyond what I can even imagine. I don't know how it happened as I he's not a close friend or anything. He did a lot of things on his part though that were very questionable. Needless to say he ended up finally getting his wife here. She got pregnant, had the baby, and moved back to Phils.

I had heard many stories and just know how things work and the opportunity to get taken is clearly there with things like this a bit more than normal.

All that being said, I never really thought about May doing anything remotely close to anything devious or having any alterior motives AT ALL.

She comes from a pretty well off family there. She had a decent job of course friends and the whole thing

I can't even get her to tell me when she needs something as it is =/ which really bugs me. I mean I understand from the culture and such that she may feel a little embarrassed or shy but I have to keep reminding her that we are way beyond that point with things.

Nearly 4 years since we started talking and it has never crossed my mind that she has any hidden agenda or intentions.

Now if USCIS would just hurry up so we can actually start our life together!

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

I have a buddy that completely got taken beyond what I can even imagine. I don't know how it happened as I he's not a close friend or anything. He did a lot of things on his part though that were very questionable. Needless to say he ended up finally getting his wife here. She got pregnant, had the baby, and moved back to Phils.

I had heard many stories and just know how things work and the opportunity to get taken is clearly there with things like this a bit more than normal.

All that being said, I never really thought about May doing anything remotely close to anything devious or having any alterior motives AT ALL.

She comes from a pretty well off family there. She had a decent job of course friends and the whole thing

I can't even get her to tell me when she needs something as it is =/ which really bugs me. I mean I understand from the culture and such that she may feel a little embarrassed or shy but I have to keep reminding her that we are way beyond that point with things.

Nearly 4 years since we started talking and it has never crossed my mind that she has any hidden agenda or intentions.

Now if USCIS would just hurry up so we can actually start our life together!

WOW...4 years and i thought my 3 years and still not united was a long time....

God Bless you both and wish a speedy reunification....

I guess we can consider ourselves lucky that long distance relationship last this long and for sure there is no ulterior motives because they will wait this long...

Best wishes...

[charlie&pam 1]

To be honest I have been on both sides of the coin on this one......my first relationship was all about the money when i went out there is was all about what I could buy her.....I was blind at first but my eyes were opened when a friend of her contacted me and told me things that I didnt know and other sites she was on ........which i found so I created a screen name and caught her!!!!!!.....i was just going to put the paperwork in for her that week that all this came about.......But with the relationship I have now is night and day from my past!!!!....I have a girl who loves me for me never asks for a dime but when she does feels ashamed and only asks for 1000 pesos so we can get on line together (it is so far in between I always send her more and she budgets it) ....next week I am meeting her family so those thought dont exist anymore!!!!

[Skeeter211 2]

I have a buddy that completely got taken beyond what I can even imagine. I don't know how it happened as I he's not a close friend or anything. He did a lot of things on his part though that were very questionable. Needless to say he ended up finally getting his wife here. She got pregnant, had the baby, and moved back to Phils.

I had heard many stories and just know how things work and the opportunity to get taken is clearly there with things like this a bit more than normal.

All that being said, I never really thought about May doing anything remotely close to anything devious or having any alterior motives AT ALL.

She comes from a pretty well off family there. She had a decent job of course friends and the whole thing

I can't even get her to tell me when she needs something as it is =/ which really bugs me. I mean I understand from the culture and such that she may feel a little embarrassed or shy but I have to keep reminding her that we are way beyond that point with things.

Nearly 4 years since we started talking and it has never crossed my mind that she has any hidden agenda or intentions.

Now if USCIS would just hurry up so we can actually start our life together!

WOW...4 years and i thought my 3 years and still not united was a long time....

God Bless you both and wish a speedy reunification....

I guess we can consider ourselves lucky that long distance relationship last this long and for sure there is no ulterior motives because they will wait this long...

Best wishes...

I also knew my wife for 3 years before we filed the petition and 4 years before she arrived. This was partly because she needed an annulment, but I am glad we had to wait. It really gave us a chance to get to know each other, good and bad. We had time to have ups and downs like a normal couple and time to see how each of our different backgrounds, life experiences, and beliefs would come together to form a relationship. Are we perfect now? Not by any means, but we had a chance to develop as a couple. Can it work without that time? In some instances, I believe it can but in my opinion, the chances for failure are a lot greater. Part of building trust is time to get to know that person so that concerns like the one addressed here can be vetted out as truth or fiction. If you give the relationship time, there won't be any reason to suspect as most people that are dishonest are also impatient and want the quick reward.

To the OP's question, did I have doubts? Yes and no. For a short time, I had an open mind to the possibility that I could be used for money or a green card. It wasn't the person I was getting involved with or something she did that made me not trust her, but rather the history of the situation that made me want to be careful at first. My wife and I talked about it and were open and honest with each other. That is why I am so glad we had the time to get to know each other really well. It helped me to realize that she had a true and deep love for me as I had for her.

One thing I want to point out here too is that relationships fail for many reasons. Sometimes the girl has bad intentions. Sometimes the guy and girl just plain aren't compatible and they didn't take the time to figure that out ahead of time. As they say, once the sex and the honeymoon are over, there has to be something more to the relationship. If not, when day to day real life sets in, its a disaster. Was she using him for a green card? Maybe....but maybe not. I often wonder how many foreigner spouses leave an incompatible relationship only to be blamed as a green card scammer when in reality they are only the victim of not getting to know each other well enough. It is always the assumption when she leaves a bad relationship that it was her fault and she was just "using him for a green card".

I saw this in another thread just the other day. I was reading about this woman that left her abusive mentally ill husband that would physically beat her, yet there were still some that tried to blame her and ask questions about her intentions to immigrate. This was despite the fact she left the USA and went back home on her own before even getting a green card. Simply amazing to me that people can think that way.

Anyway...I strayed for the point of this thread and I will return to say that I profess a great and deep love for my wife. I tell her every day that I love her and she tells me that she loves me too. She kisses me every morning when she leaves to work and I kiss her every night when I arrive home from work. We are not in any shape or form the perfect couple and we have our ups and downs too. She is so beautiful on the outside, but more importantly is her beauty on the inside. She is so sweet. caring and kind. She gives her love unconditionally to me and I to her. We have been a couple for 6 years now and married for 2 of those years. We both pray we will grow old together and that the other will live longest because we couldn't bear to be alive without each other. I don't have any question in my mind that she came here because she loves me.

I love you Honeyko!!!

Scott

[cEzYcHiC 0]

I've asked myself for a lot of times before I petitioned her.

Since she was too good to be true. She had ALL the qualities I've ever wanted.

My wife was way too different from the girls I've dated before.

She was the smartest, cutest and most genuine person I've ever met.

And I'm happy that I married her.