Is this too much to ask?

[CDAgirlMI 51]

[Arabella 4]

Whoa. So let me get this straight... They stayed at Peachy's Mom's cabin?? And they don't want her to be there at Xmas?

Dude your family has some serious issues... I do not see this turning out too good for you guys and for that I am truly sorry

Just make sure you put your future family (you and your wife) first. You are going to be a grown-up husband and dad some day and can't let your mom and sister hurt your family. Just put your foot down. If they want to be a part of your Christmas, then it's you and your soon-to-be wife who will make the rules. If they don't want to abide, then you'll see them later.

[Peachey 10]

Sometimes I wonder why I was invited to Christmas last year... we weren't engaged when the Christmas plans were made.

Also, on my walk I thought of this:

If Jesus had a brother, and that brother was moving his fiance to Jerusalem and his fiance's mom was helping them move. Jesus surely would invite the mom to his birthday party!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sometimes I wonder why I was invited to Christmas last year... we weren't engaged when the Christmas plans were made.

Also, on my walk I thought of this:

If Jesus had a brother, and that brother was moving his fiance to Jerusalem and his fiance's mom was helping them move. Jesus surely would invite the mom to his birthday party!

I was going to say something really inappropriate... then i decided not to ... Which means i am going like this

sister Peachey --- this is your new life. You and fiancee will chart the course of dignity and respect as a new family unit. I think you are in for a rocky, but strong start.

[Krikit 1,163]

Since May, I've been arguing with them over this, trying to get them to see that they are being irrational and rude. I can not get them to explain themselves sufficiently, and I'm afraid that we'll will have to skip Christmas this year.

I would stop debating this with them, now, and let them know, definitively, that you shall not be attending under these circumstances. Perhaps their ministers will give inspiring Thanksgiving sermons and their consciences will convict them. I am sorry they have put you in this position.

[Peachey 10]

I would stop debating this with them, now, and let them know, definitively, that you shall not be attending under these circumstances. Perhaps their ministers will give inspiring Thanksgiving sermons and their consciences will convict them. I am sorry they have put you in this position.

I have his mom's pastor's email address...

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I would not think of emailing the pastor as a good idea. Clean your side of the street so to speak --- hers is hers only.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Varba and Peachy,

I agree with Krikit on this.. stop arguing, just tell them straight out that you feel they are be rude and unreasonable..you will not be attending the gathering and you are very sorry that they cant see their error in this situation and that you will not be able to spend christmas together..the end.

How can they not understand that peachy's mother is getting ready to see her daughter LEAVE THE COUNTRY! of course she would want to spend every minute she can with her during her stay there? WOW, im so sorry. I thought my step mom pulled some shitty stuff, this takes the cake really.

[Krikit 1,163]

Ministers design their sermons to address the needs of the congregants. Extended families who share their heartache sometimes provide the inspiration to address those needs without singling people out. If you have his email address I assume he has shared it for a reason. If you feel the need for some counselling, he is there to help. This is an important matter with serious consequences. There are going to be heavy hearts on all sides if this does not get resolved. Speak to someone if you feel the need. I wish you well.

[trailmix 77]

Just so no one gets the wrong idea, typically my mother and sister are kind and caring people. Just for some reason they have gone off the deep end on this.

My mom and sister would probably be MORE open it was a stranger off the street, or a random orphan/refugee I was helping. In fact, in the past we've had people who were were helping attend our Christmases.

Correction - typically they are kind and caring people to you.

There is this phenomenon which I call 'Sister syndrome' - where the Sister of a guy totally resents the Brother's new wife. This apparently, in this case, has extended to your Mother as well.

Some woman are very territorial and possessive when it comes to their families (everyone knows this) - you may not have seen this before, if you have never been married before.

In pondering this I don't really see it as an affront to peachy's Mother (although as an aside of course it is) - it's her they are trying to exclude and hurt - not her Mother.

[Peachey 10]

Correction - typically they are kind and caring people to you.

There is this phenomenon which I call 'Sister syndrome' - where the Sister of a guy totally resents the Brother's new wife. This apparently, in this case, has extended to your Mother as well.

Some woman are very territorial and possessive when it comes to their families (everyone knows this) - you may not have seen this before, if you have never been married before.

In pondering this I don't really see it as an affront to peachy's Mother (although as an aside of course it is) - it's her they are trying to exclude and hurt - not her Mother.

I don't know, if she really resented me she wouldn't' chat with me everyday on AIM or have agreed to be in my wedding party. Although I am re-considering her being in the wedding at this point.

[thetreble 19]

I don't know, if she really resented me she wouldn't' chat with me everyday on AIM or have agreed to be in my wedding party. Although I am re-considering her being in the wedding at this point.

Ohh lovely, do not be fooled! Believe me, do not be fooled. I just got duped by someone I knew for 4 years. She chatted with me lots and lots once upon a time...

[Peachey 10]

I don't know, if she really resented me she wouldn't' chat with me everyday on AIM or have agreed to be in my wedding party. Although I am re-considering her being in the wedding at this point.

Ohh lovely, do not be fooled! Believe me, do not be fooled. I just got duped by someone I knew for 4 years. She chatted with me lots and lots once upon a time...

BTW, Varba saw your avatar the other day and his reaction was "OH! She helped us before, I like her!" hehe. But I'm sure he likes everyone here

[Jamaican JNR 2]

Hi All!

Something I need objective opinions about here.

If everything goes to plan and I get my visa by December, I am planning on moving down to the US on December 26-27. My mom being the nice person she is (and being my mother) wants to help me move and stay for a week to help get me settled.

Here's the problem. Christmas with my in-laws is scheduled for Jan 1 (These people like to schedule so much it scares me). My mother will still be in town for the Christmas celebration. My fiance's mother and sister are insisting that my mom not be invited to Christmas. This completely baffles my mind because if his family was up here for Christmas they would be invited to everything.

The MIL and SIL have started to compromise by saying that she can hang out with us all day but has to leave when it's time to eat dinner and open presents... which I find extremely rude.

I just don't understand, what's the big deal? The SIL is saying it's because she doesn't get to see us too often so just wants it to be us.

My mom is very important to me and I won't get to see her until I get my AP at least, which can be like 3 months.

My fiance is on my side here, but can't seem to get through to his mom or sister. His dad just kinda sits there until something blows up then he takes charge.

Am I asking too much to have my mom included in the Christmas festivities?

Keep in mind my fiance's family are VERY Christian people.

Always remember that you could have several fiance's over your life time; but only 1 mother.

[Carlawarla 1]

Oh Peachy, my heart is breaking here when I read what you and Varba have said. I posted earlier, but it seems to get worse and worse the more I think about it, and of course with more information. How could you ever, even if they did say, okay, she's welcome now...go there? I hope you're not telling your Mom right now any of this information, oh how hurt she would be!