Death of a parent

[Anyta Holland 1]

My hubby lost his father about 13 years ago, and I think it still hurts... He tries every now and again to remember the good things they lived together, I think he'll never die in my hubby's heart...

Hope you feel better...

[sara535 15]

My mother died 3 years ago and yes, its still hard and sometimes I feel so sad about it but there are also moments when I'll think of something she said or did and it just makes me laugh out loud. I also find that I am not one who is hung up on particular days, in fact this year I forgot it was her birthday until my sister mentioned it. I have more unexpected moments of feeling the loss, for example, I recently tried a new recipe from my husbands country and it was so good, when we were eating I was thinking to myself how much my mom would have loved it. It made me sad but it also made me smile because I know as long as I have those moments then my mom is still alive in my memory

and on that note, I find sometimes the best thing is just keeping those memories going and sharing them. My sister got married a few months ago and of course we felt the absence of my mother very strongly. But some of her lifelong friends attended and there was an evening where we all sat around and had a few margaritas and relived some of our favorite stories of her. She was quite a character and pretty dingy sometimes so we have an entire encyclopedia of damn funny things she did. It was a blast to sit around with us kids and her old friends, we just laughed our butts off and in some bittersweet way it was almost as if she was there.

my advice, just embrace the sadness for what it is but try to balance it with some happiness and some gratitude for the good times you did have. Its the best tribute you can make.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I lost my Mom 3 years ago. She went into hospital the same weekend my husband and I became engaged and no one knew she would never leave. She never got to meet Joe and she was dead within the month - 3 days after my birthday. We were married almost a year after her death and my Dad was here for the wedding - and for that sad anniversary. It does get easier and the 'firsts' are always the toughest - the first Christmas, the first Mother's Day, the first birthday, the first anniversary of her death. I find myself still wanting to call and talk with her like we used to do several times a week. I still have conversations with her in my heart and my head, and some times it feels like she answers. I do miss her still. Joe's father passed away in February of this year and even though he had been unwell and failing for quite some time, still nothing prepares you for the shock when it actually happens. Only time can ease the sharpness but I don't think it ever erases the loss.

Edited July 12, 2006 by Kathryn41

[litlemo-nosleep 0]

Hi,

I lost my dad september last year 8 days after my K-1 visa was approved, it was so diificult because we were happy because we had been approved then within the space of 8 days our hearts were broken.

There are so many things that i miss about my dad, to many to mention in a lifetime, but my wedding day (april 06) was the worst day of my life because my dad was not with us to give me away, but also the best day because it sealed the love my husband and i have for each other.

Emotions for me are still as raw as the day he died, i still cry for our loss, but i do find it easier to talk about him, and the things he used to do with us and say.

I tell everyone about him, how much of a good kind special man his was and always will be.

I am still going through all the firsts, birthdays, christmas, fathers day, his and my mam's wedding anniversary was yesterday, i spent most of the day on the phone to my mam in UK, it was so difficult.

People say time is a great healer, but i personaly dont think you ever get over the loss of a loved one

If anything the loss of my dad taught me to make the most of life, and make every second count, grab every opportunity that comes your way with both hands, life is to short to have any regrets.

Ally

[Jaylen Brit 0]

My dad died 2 years ago - the day before my mum's birthday in April..he'd been ill with a lung infection that just never got better - he lost so much weight he was just bones; I saw him at Easter - about a week before he died and he was on portable oxygen then and had a permanent drain in his chest - a week later he was taken into a hospice (by then he was hallucinating some of the time, due to oxygen starvation of the brain). He was hanging on cos he was worried about my mum coping but she told him she'd be ok - and he died in his sleep a few hours later. I was packing to go up and see him when I got 'the call' - so I ended up going to support my mum. They'd been married 40 years and some change. I thought for a while that she wouldn't survive long she was so broken by his death but she's pulled thru.

Len's mum died a few months later; she'd been ill with cancer.

That was a flippin shite year that was.

I do think about my dad - but his one wish for me always was to be happy. He wouldn't have been happy with me if I'd mourned too long. He was quiet man, but had an inner strength and he made me the person I am today - strong inside. He will always be part of me cos I carry his genes, and the legacy of him just being my dad, and that means he'll never really die.

So, I do miss him but yes it gets better with time - remember your parent who died wouldn't want you depressed over it - its part of life is death - and your memories last forever.

[Sharon 1]

I know it's a terrible gut-wrenching pain to lose a parent, my Mom passed away 13 years ago at the age of 53. Even after all this time it still hurts but yes, it does get better. I was a mess for a good year after her death - she was all I ever had, my Dad and her split up when I was young and he'd remarried and moved to another province and never kept in touch with us kids. So I felt like I lost a good part of my world when she was taken from us.

Now 13 years later, I am able to talk about her with a smile and hold the special memories close to my heart. Yes, even now I still shed a tear from time to time but I know she's watching over me.

Time eases the pain.

Thank God for that.

[Joey559 1]

I know it's not going to go away - but it WILL get better. And it's not callous to realize one day that you're happy again. You'll get to the point that you're smiling, not crying, remembering them. They want us to continue to be happy.

I lost my dad five years ago - I was 21 at the time, it was sudden (car accident) and at that moment I felt about 6 years old again. Even with my mother still here I felt like an orphan - daddy's are supposed to be invincible. My first reaction was to get a tattoo - but I waited about a year and a half and still I wanted one. In my head something that painful, something that changes you so much inside should show on the outside. So I got a tattoo on my upper back where it's not seen everyday unless I choose to show it. And I'm very happy I did. It's right between my shoulder blades, where he used to put his hand when he was proud of me. It's not for everyone - but it's the one thing that I needed to feel better. If you find that one thing it might help.

Just be happy again. Remember the good stuff. If there's one thing that a death teaches us is that the bad stuff never really mattered anway. Don't let yourself feel sorry or have regrets about it - just let it go.

I hope you feel better soon.

Joey

[JC75 0]

Thanks to everyone for the reply's....The anniv. is tomorrow (14th in melb) so atm I dread it...

It still seems like it was yesterday.....

being seperated from my fiance is the worst right now so I'm kinda a combo of sad and peeved at the waiting...I'm tempted to try and fly out next week for a week or so after I hear when my appointment will be...but paranoid I will be denied entry so we will have to see...

Right now I have never felt more alone.

hugs to all

[scumpi 0]

Thanks to everyone for the reply's....The anniv. is tomorrow (14th in melb) so atm I dread it...

It still seems like it was yesterday.....

being seperated from my fiance is the worst right now so I'm kinda a combo of sad and peeved at the waiting...I'm tempted to try and fly out next week for a week or so after I hear when my appointment will be...but paranoid I will be denied entry so we will have to see...

Right now I have never felt more alone.

hugs to all

If you decide to go see your fiance that would be good for you to feel better(I am talking like I`ve just discovered the water is wet here ....I`d say you won`t have problems at the entry if your return ticket will be so soon after the departure...just be ready to show them at the POE proof of ties with Australia and IF they ask (only if they ask) tell them you wouldn`t screw(ok,I just put it in my little colorful way ...you might phrase it better) your K1 application now and overstay on a tourist visa at this point.

And...sorry to hear you feel alone...I know something about that feeling....hugs

[JC75 0]

Thanks to everyone for the reply's....The anniv. is tomorrow (14th in melb) so atm I dread it...

It still seems like it was yesterday.....

being seperated from my fiance is the worst right now so I'm kinda a combo of sad and peeved at the waiting...I'm tempted to try and fly out next week for a week or so after I hear when my appointment will be...but paranoid I will be denied entry so we will have to see...

Right now I have never felt more alone.

hugs to all

If you decide to go see your fiance that would be good for you to feel better(I am talking like I`ve just discovered the water is wet here ....I`d say you won`t have problems at the entry if your return ticket will be so soon after the departure...just be ready to show them at the POE proof of ties with Australia and IF they ask (only if they ask) tell them you wouldn`t screw(ok,I just put it in my little colorful way ...you might phrase it better) your K1 application now and overstay on a tourist visa at this point.

And...sorry to hear you feel alone...I know something about that feeling....hugs

Ty sweety!!!!!1 hugs!

I'm working out what to take now to show strong ties so I won't have any drama's....

hugs hun!