People's feelings

[jeff's bride 0]

So I recently heard a story of a couple where the USC was the wife, and she brought her fiance over from the MENA area. They were married less than a year ago, and have just seperated and filed for divorce. This is the part that makes me ill...when asked about the situation the wife said "I guess it was a learning experience!". This is a human being, who you brought here to an unfamiliar country, and promised to love, cherish, and honor ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE, and it's just a "learning experience?". I am 90% sure that the husband was not in it for a greencard, but that the wife thought things would be different than they turned out to be and then tossed the poor guy. I don't think the guy knows what hit him.

I just sometimes worry that SOME (definitely not all) people going through this process treat it as though they've mail ordered a product from overseas. Does anyone else know of people who have such a cavalier attitude toward this HUGE commitment? Just curious.

[Nagishkaw 510]

What do you really know about MENA culture? Do you know this couple personally? 0r are you just going on assumptions here?

[jeff's bride 0]

What do you really know about MENA culture? Do you know this couple personally? 0r are you just going on assumptions here?

I know some about MENA culture. I know that it's a hard adjustment. I do know this couple personally...as well as on this forum...and it's a very different story from here to r/l.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I suspect that it probably is different in r /l as compared to posting here. I think most are not upfront and lean towards the 'everything-is just-rosey' approach, but you cannot blame people for not wanting to post their most private ( and sometimes horrible ) matters on a public message board.

[jeff's bride 0]

I suspect that it probably is different in r /l as compared to posting here. I think most are not upfront and lean towards the 'everything-is just-rosey' approach, but you cannot blame people for not wanting to post their most private ( and sometimes horrible ) matters on a public message board.

No doubt, though it might give the people going through the process a more realistic picture of what they're signing up for...if everyone posts the "everything is rosey" perspective, then people might not think it's as big of a deal as it is. I just am thinking of the people that are being uprooted from everything they've (in many cases) ever known to be chalked up as a "learning experience"...you know?

[Nagishkaw 510]

Seeing both sides of the coin, sometimes you have to believe it in order to see it. You can give folks a ' realistic picture ' all you want, but in the end it is up to them to make their choice, whether it is a good one or a bad one, nonetheless it is their life and only they can live it. Sometimes all we can do is just sit back and shake our heads.

[thepizzadude 26]

Seeing both sides of the coin, sometimes you have to believe it in order to see it. You can give folks a ' realistic picture ' all you want, but in the end it is up to them to make their choice, whether it is a good one or a bad one, nonetheless it is their life and only they can live it. Sometimes all we can do is just sit back and shake our heads.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

This whole life is a learning experience, we make mistakes we learn. Whenever any couple get together they learn, when they split they learn. Prob each did learn something about life and themselves, its not a crime to not get along forever, you go into it with that idea of forever but it doesnt always work. What is it Forest says, life is like a box of cherries...........

[sjr09 155]

This whole life is a learning experience, we make mistakes we learn. Whenever any couple get together they learn, when they split they learn. Prob each did learn something about life and themselves, its not a crime to not get along forever, you go into it with that idea of forever but it doesnt always work. What is it Forest says, life is like a box of cherries...........

Box of chocolate’s, never know what your going to get!

[D&R 0]

So I recently heard a story of a couple where the USC was the wife, and she brought her fiance over from the MENA area. They were married less than a year ago, and have just seperated and filed for divorce. This is the part that makes me ill...when asked about the situation the wife said "I guess it was a learning experience!". This is a human being, who you brought here to an unfamiliar country, and promised to love, cherish, and honor ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE, and it's just a "learning experience?". I am 90% sure that the husband was not in it for a greencard, but that the wife thought things would be different than they turned out to be and then tossed the poor guy. I don't think the guy knows what hit him.

I just sometimes worry that SOME (definitely not all) people going through this process treat it as though they've mail ordered a product from overseas. Does anyone else know of people who have such a cavalier attitude toward this HUGE commitment? Just curious.

I think you'll find it was a learning experience for BOTH of them. Once the man has got over it, he'd probably agree with me too.

Perhaps the man treated the women really badly and deserved being thought of as a learning experience anyway. Do you know this couple?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

This whole life is a learning experience, we make mistakes we learn. Whenever any couple get together they learn, when they split they learn. Prob each did learn something about life and themselves, its not a crime to not get along forever, you go into it with that idea of forever but it doesnt always work. What is it Forest says, life is like a box of cherries...........

Box of chocolate’s, never know what your going to get!

thanks so maybe she got a lemon

[Ellie-and-David 38]

Relationships work, relationships fail.

A large number of people on this website met their spouses online and it's not like the US government gives us all a shot at a practice run before we get married.

For me personally, I would have liked to have the opportunity to live with my husband for a while before we got married. Really have understood what it was like to live with him before we took the plunge.

BUT that isn't the way this process works. There are no boyfriend and girlfriend visa's and for some people it is not culturally acceptable for them to live together out of wedlock.

So you muddle through, finding out along the way whether you can live with this person. Some can. Some dont work out, and this is why it is a learning experience.

The alternative to not undertaking this learning experience is a missed opportunity to be with someone you really love.

I'm glad I took the risk. My husband is a messy devil and really grumpy in the mornings and we've already had a couple of arguments....

But I'm really glad that I now get to argue with him in person.....

[bhajishah 4]

Some people turn love on and off like a faucet, if the water too cold or too hot they turn it off. others just in denial. or sometimes its jusat plain easier to live alone and be able to survive just fine in american society without all the drama. Either way coming over here they soon realize the world just doesnt revovlve around mommas boy either. If you really want a real man test . Come to america

[Y's_habibitk 2]

So I recently heard a story of a couple where the USC was the wife, and she brought her fiance over from the MENA area. They were married less than a year ago, and have just seperated and filed for divorce. This is the part that makes me ill...when asked about the situation the wife said "I guess it was a learning experience!". This is a human being, who you brought here to an unfamiliar country, and promised to love, cherish, and honor ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE, and it's just a "learning experience?". I am 90% sure that the husband was not in it for a greencard, but that the wife thought things would be different than they turned out to be and then tossed the poor guy. I don't think the guy knows what hit him.

I just sometimes worry that SOME (definitely not all) people going through this process treat it as though they've mail ordered a product from overseas. Does anyone else know of people who have such a cavalier attitude toward this HUGE commitment? Just curious.

i think its more common than we would like to think. Its a sad situation when that is the case.

I do know a couple that just went through something similar and the wife doesnt think its a big deal that the husband is now stuck here with no money, no contacts..no nothing. He is just supposed to "figure it out" sad indeed

[jeff's bride 0]

So I recently heard a story of a couple where the USC was the wife, and she brought her fiance over from the MENA area. They were married less than a year ago, and have just seperated and filed for divorce. This is the part that makes me ill...when asked about the situation the wife said "I guess it was a learning experience!". This is a human being, who you brought here to an unfamiliar country, and promised to love, cherish, and honor ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE, and it's just a "learning experience?". I am 90% sure that the husband was not in it for a greencard, but that the wife thought things would be different than they turned out to be and then tossed the poor guy. I don't think the guy knows what hit him.

I just sometimes worry that SOME (definitely not all) people going through this process treat it as though they've mail ordered a product from overseas. Does anyone else know of people who have such a cavalier attitude toward this HUGE commitment? Just curious.

I think you'll find it was a learning experience for BOTH of them. Once the man has got over it, he'd probably agree with me too.

Perhaps the man treated the women really badly and deserved being thought of as a learning experience anyway. Do you know this couple?

Yes, I know the couple, both the online representation and in real life. The immigration process is far from perfect, and the 90 day time period is, in my opinion , ridiculous. I've said before that the US should give more time to really "live" with the person before the deadline. Even if that means the other person stays somewhere else. I just don't think that if you meet someone from another country online, and no matter how much you chat, talk, text, and at times, visit, it's still not an accurate representation of what you're walking into. However, the US time constraints are what they are, so in that case, I guess my sense of commitment to the person that I just yanked halfway across the world would have to overrule any rocky road situations (barring abusive behavior toward myself or my children). But I guess that's just me.