Wife got citizenship, announced she wanted divorce the next day?

[Captain Oates 911]

Pretty much anyone can find a job in the U.S., if their willingness to accept employment is appropriately adjusted and they are sufficiently motivated. My wife got a pretty good job here ($60K+ manager job), but she would still rather live somewhere in Europe. The U.S. isn't all things to all people, despite what the media would have you believe.

As for us - my wife's passport, passport card, and certificate of naturalization all arrived in the mail today (3 separate mailings, only the passport was with delivery confirmation). So, the process is OFFICIALLY ###### OVER for us!!! FYI - mailed off passport application on 1 August, we got everything back on 20 August - so right at 3 weeks. Keep that in mind if you are tempted to pay a lot more money for expedited processing - I don't think it is worth it (we went with normal processing).

Cheers!

AKD

end of the road - you must feel GREAT !!!!!

Congrats as they say on VJ

The basis of arranged marriages is that they work 99% of the time and they say the Western way is no better, and getting divorced a few times is not going to get you anywhere nearer to satisfaction as they are all the same at the end of the day in that you just swap one problem for another when you swap spouses

I think countries are like this and they all have something going for them and something lacking - so we might as well relax and enjoy the ride and try not to be too nationalistic ...

congrats again - now keep it safe !

ps my wife could have taken any old job i agree - she hung on for 6 months and now she has a better salary than I had when I was 'European Finance Director' for a US company and looking after 28 subsidiary companies across Europe (She doesn't get a Mercedes though so hah !) So nobody should sell themselves short

[akdiver 3]

congrats again - now keep it safe !

Yep - all that stuff is in my rather large, rather heavy, and rather "fireproof" safe - as we speak.

ps my wife could have taken any old job i agree - she hung on for 6 months and now she has a better salary than I had when I was 'European Finance Director' for a US company and looking after 28 subsidiary companies across Europe (She doesn't get a Mercedes though so hah !) So nobody should sell themselves short

The flip side of course is taking a job that pays a lot of money, but makes you hate going into work every day and very unpleasant when you come home. The money isn't always everything.

Cheers!

AKD

[Captain Oates 911]

congrats again - now keep it safe !

Yep - all that stuff is in my rather large, rather heavy, and rather "fireproof" safe - as we speak.

ps my wife could have taken any old job i agree - she hung on for 6 months and now she has a better salary than I had when I was 'European Finance Director' for a US company and looking after 28 subsidiary companies across Europe (She doesn't get a Mercedes though so hah !) So nobody should sell themselves short

The flip side of course is taking a job that pays a lot of money, but makes you hate going into work every day and very unpleasant when you come home. The money isn't always everything.

Cheers!

AKD

agreed ! I love my job

arsing about on VJ and providing company for the cats and hunting lawn weeds - best job yet

[BluesTraveler 0]

Pretty much anyone can find a job in the U.S., if their willingness to accept employment is appropriately adjusted and they are sufficiently motivated.

Not a matter of finding a job, it is a matter of finding a job that can support you. Certain parts of the country are expensive to live. When rent is $1500 a month for a 400 sq foot studio, you need to find a job(s) that will cover the rent. And the cliche about just moving to a different part of the country doesn't really hold water, since if you had the money to move, you would have the money to pay the rent.

[Captain Oates 911]

Pretty much anyone can find a job in the U.S., if their willingness to accept employment is appropriately adjusted and they are sufficiently motivated.

Not a matter of finding a job, it is a matter of finding a job that can support you. Certain parts of the country are expensive to live. When rent is $1500 a month for a 400 sq foot studio, you need to find a job(s) that will cover the rent. And the cliche about just moving to a different part of the country doesn't really hold water, since if you had the money to move, you would have the money to pay the rent.

That's right it's a catch 22

I laid awake at night and even registered a company to install house alarms ! Just coz my hobby was electronics.

Fully qualified accountant up a ladder installing alarms ? Your judgment suffers when it gets rough

My advice would be to stick with what you know. Changing course is a luxury for people with rent money who can build something up as well as the day job

When I was 36 my net worth was minus £500 on my credit card and I had never had a house other than a rented council house

I had alimony and child support of 60% of my earnings. I lived in a 1 room flat in Bradford west Yorkshire and it rained and the flat was damp and I was alone and cold and it was November and dark. My wife had left me for an 18 year old boy.

18 years later at the age of 54, I retired a dollar millionaire plus 3 pensions and with a fabulous new wife and I live like a king in Washington State - and I ain't no genius

So don't despair - it will come right if you stick with it and have confidence and grin and bear it

ps my ex hates him now and says he stinks and he is stupid ! He works inside a garbage skip and sorts out recyclables by hand

[akdiver 3]

Not a matter of finding a job, it is a matter of finding a job that can support you.

Sure. And if that is the case, people should say, "couldn't find a job that would support me", rather than "couldn't find a job." It's like when people say, "I had no choice." One almost ALWAYS has a choice about something. Not having any ATTRACTIVE choices is a different matter.

[slim 1,530]

I worked with a guy a few years ago who was a felon. He told me it was so hard to get a job. Well, after missing several days and walking so slowly I thought he'd get stuck to the floor, he ended up being fired.

What he should've said was, "It's so hard to keep a job."

[akdiver 3]

I worked with a guy a few years ago who was a felon. He told me it was so hard to get a job. Well, after missing several days and walking so slowly I thought he'd get stuck to the floor, he ended up being fired.

I was doing some hiring and decided to give a felon (drug issues) an interview for a position that paid around $55K/year. He showed up to the interview looking like a complete druggie, smelling like a complete druggie, and stoned out of his mind like a complete druggie. I elected not to offer him the position. It's too bad too, because on paper, he was the #1 candidate.

Some of these guys are not helping themselves.

[johnj 0]

I worked with a guy a few years ago who was a felon. He told me it was so hard to get a job. Well, after missing several days and walking so slowly I thought he'd get stuck to the floor, he ended up being fired.

I was doing some hiring and decided to give a felon (drug issues) an interview for a position that paid around $55K/year. He showed up to the interview looking like a complete druggie, smelling like a complete druggie, and stoned out of his mind like a complete druggie. I elected not to offer him the position. It's too bad too, because on paper, he was the #1 candidate.

Some of these guys are not helping themselves.

You could face a lawsuit for discrimination of the disabled

[Captain Oates 911]

Not a matter of finding a job, it is a matter of finding a job that can support you.

Sure. And if that is the case, people should say, "couldn't find a job that would support me", rather than "couldn't find a job." It's like when people say, "I had no choice." One almost ALWAYS has a choice about something. Not having any ATTRACTIVE choices is a different matter.

That's why I was single for 18 years between wives - sometimes you just have to wait for the right situation to come along - but keep trying hard - and boy did I try hard - trying hard can be fun

Always there is the question - 'do I settle for less or keep going'

Each must answer that for themselves

[Minya's wife 25]

I think I see your point about getting real - seeing love for all that it is, instead of some fantasy. As for the rest - I have to call bullsh1t on you I have been to Odessa four times (twice with my wife, and twice without). Enjoyed it each time. It is a different environment than a typical vacation, granted, but still quite nice. There are good and bad areas like most cities. Maybe my perception is different, as I enjoyed Bucharest, Minsk, Warsaw, and many other cities too.

I should also mention that most people I have met in Eastern Europe have no desire to be saved somehow by leaving. They are quite content in their own country. Hard to believe, but lots of people outside the US actually like their country . Many immigrants actually do leave to be with their SO - that is the benefit they see.

I may be out of date in that people were prepared to be shot in their attempts to cross the Berlin wall etc to freedom and I believe the West is very attractive to Easterners. I worked with many Poles and none of them wanted to go back. They just wanted to marry an Italian or Irish catholic and stay in the UK

Ok the political thing is different now but 600,000 Poles just rushed to live in the UK.

So I am not on board with the idea that Eastern Europeans don't find the idea of moving to the West to be attractive

The last American to enjoy living in Russia was Lee Harvey Oswald and that didn't last

I wonder how many East European/American marriages result in the couple living in Eastern Europe

There has to be a reason for that. It's nearly always an East European woman and an American man

Many British men marry American women but how many American women marry Vietnamese men or Ukrainian men or men from Moscow ? I am sure there are some but not many

I am not saying anything is wrong with that by that way - it's just the way it is and for a reason (a number of reasons) and that's fine by me. Had I not been married I might well have taken that route myself in my parner search. I actually took my American bride to the UK to live and she had a UK green card and a job there - but she didnt like it and so here we are in the U.S. and it's fine by me.

I don't see any of this stuff bordering on immigration fraud and I think the conditions in many countries are an added incentive, and I don't see a problem in admitting that either to ourselves or the USCIS

If some 70 year old toothless lonely gimmer gets a beautiful 29 year old bride from a horrible steaming sweat shop in a dangerous dirty poverty stricken city and they are both deliriously happy with what they both got out of it and value each other enormously, then I say good luck to them and well done. It's 'the market ' at work and all Americans and Margaret Thatcher are in favour of that

I think it's great that people have options and possibilities to escape their situations whatever or wherever they are and 'love' per the USCIS field manual is indefinable anyway

Good luck to all of us

Not out of date at all with that, but you are spot on - things have changed in Eastern Europe for the better. No more lines for basic foodstuffs for example (not for 15-20 years). Grocery stores, and in fact lots of shops, in Odessa are really upscale - you can get nearly anything you can buy in America (except peanut butter ). Poland is a notable exception to the "I'm happy at home" rule, as there is a huge migration west underway from Poland to the UK, and there has been a very large diaspora of Polish in America for generations. Hey, the Poles have to make room for all those Romanians and Slovenians moving west into the better paying parts of the Schengen zone right?

The reason you don't see Americans and Brits immigrating to Eastern Europe is income, simply put. If I could maintain a similar living standard in Ukraine, I would try it. I don't say that out loud, because my wife would be packed before the words left my mouth. American women do dig foreign guys too - check out the MENA forum - you will find one or two around In this day and age, I just don't buy that the fantasy lure of America's gold-paved streets holds water anywhere any more.

I beg to differ with you on that point....Poles are actually returning to Poland in large numbers, and I don't really know of any Romanian (and I know many of all ages) who are moving 'en masse' to better paying parts of the Schengen zone. Why poopoo on another nationality in defending the one you 'prefer'? Just as another poster mentioned above...its all in the eye of the beholder.

[Captain Oates 911]

I beg to differ with you on that point....Poles are actually returning to Poland in large numbers, and I don't really know of any Romanian (and I know many of all ages) who are moving 'en masse' to better paying parts of the Schengen zone. Why poopoo on another nationality in defending the one you 'prefer'? Just as another poster mentioned above...its all in the eye of the beholder.

I prefer places rather than Nationalities - Yul Brynner had Roma ancestry and he looked like a hoot for a night out.

As I say, my best friend was Polish when I was in the UK and my other boozing buddy was a Sikh (not a very religious Sikh). I have a friend in Berlin who is stereotypically Prussian and I don't agree with his right wing ideas but he is interesting. My son has lived in Spain for 14 years and I mingle with all his Spanish friends. I am married to an American and live in America and I worked for an American company for 14 years - so I am not totally little Britain

So it's not a people thing, because we get the same range of personalities across the globe - more a 'place' thing and I would not like to live in Odessa or India or Sophia or Kingston or Beirut or Moscow - Munich I like and would be OK except for the sauerkraut and boiled pigs feet which reminds me of Wisconsin (joke). It's just a preference thing and not a revulsion towards any of these places so none of those nationals need feel offended

Do we see any lessening of demand for east Europeans to head for the USA via marriage is the question and is it wrong for the move to be a part of the attraction ?

I would say no to both questions so long as the spouse doesn't actually secretly despise their American sponsor and is using them - and only events/time will show the outside world whether that is in play

- Each case should be seen separately and i think it is right now by the USCIS - so the world and Americans should not assume it's always only about money and a better life style, because it isn't

Would I marry Joan Rivers to get out of a Taliban prison ? Yes !

[Minya's wife 25]

I was actually disagreeing with what Brad&Vika was saying about Poles migrating to the UK, and his little quip about the Romanians and Slovenians taking their place. In the context of my comment 'places' can be substituted if you prefer. I guess what I was objection to is that the type of argument that atempts to extol one side at the expense/detriment of another is not sound.

[Captain Oates 911]

I was actually disagreeing with what Brad&Vika was saying about Poles migrating to the UK, and his little quip about the Romanians and Slovenians taking their place. In the context of my comment 'places' can be substituted if you prefer. I guess what I was objection to is that the type of argument that atempts to extol one side at the expense/detriment of another is not sound.

Well each person has their own preferences and I hate humidity - so I would say that Nigeria would be a horrible experience for me.

So in each person's own terms, I am sure everyone 'likes' or 'dislikes' different places. Some like cities, some like the country. Some like spicy food and some like plain.

On that basis I think it's fair enough for people to say - 'There is no way I would live there'

I never feel offended when people decry Yorkshire as they are coming from the perspective of different cultures and it's natural that they would not like it.

150,000+ Pakistanis moved to within 6 miles of my house in Yorkshire - so there must be something good about it

When 150,000 Pakistanis move to Odessa, it will be vote of confidence in the changes that have happened and the Odessa people will be proud I am sure

So it's an individual thing and we shouldn't be surprised when foreigners turn their noses up at our home country/town because their values and their yardsticks are different to ours and given time, they might actually like it - in the way that I am warming to the US

Anyway, if they never experience Yorkshire black pudding and Timmy Taylors Golden Best, then it's their loss

[mox 298]

Do we see any lessening of demand for east Europeans to head for the USA via marriage is the question and is it wrong for the move to be a part of the attraction ?

I would say no to both questions so long as the spouse doesn't actually secretly despise their American sponsor and is using them - and only events/time will show the outside world whether that is in play

- Each case should be seen separately and i think it is right now by the USCIS - so the world and Americans should not assume it's always only about money and a better life style, because it isn't

Would I marry Joan Rivers to get out of a Taliban prison ? Yes !

I say again...there's no evidence that supports the notion that FSU women are "flowing" into the US for even partially economic reasons. As Ekee and others keep pointing out, Eastern Europe and Russia have changed a LOT since you were there. Yes of course there's going to be the odd green card scam, but there's nothing to indicate money is a primary or even secondary motive. You keep steering the conversation back to this point, which is really nothing more than your opinion based probably on watching too many movies. What's your agenda?