Filipina filed for divorce

[Jasman0717 9]

It would seem to me that rather than come to VJ expecting legal questions answered one would continue with their legal process to the end. The bottom line is to not lie on any USCIS forms. If you need legal advise to resolve those issues then do so but don't turn around and scold people here on VJ just trying to help.

[Pinay Wife 47]

There seems to be alot of fly by night lawyers here in these posts who think they know more then the next person.

I noticed that too.

Ain't you both correct? These people are de facto lawyers in their own minds!

But you have to admit, as long as we keep the debate civil, there's a lot to be learned.

[Merry Ann's Mykul 0]

we hired a lawyer to do the AOS., and i really didnt know what happened to that application.. when i was still there., all i can remember was meeting the lawyer and signed some papers.. after that., never heard anything... my exhusband didnt even say anything about it..

I am really expecting for tougher questions....fingers crossed here.. and lots of prayers..

Thank u sooo much for the infos and the support..

Don't depend the US Embassy Manila to assist you in circumventing Philippine law. You seem to be looking for a fast and clever way out of getting a proper annulment.

For a K1 visa you must have the legal capacity to marry. You say that you filed for, and were granted a foreign divorce which you know is not recognized under Philippine law, and you think you can sneak by because, so far, your CENOMAR is clean.

You stated that your ex-husband is "Spiteful" and that also you filed for AOS. What will your ex husband say when Immigration knocks his door and asks him where you are? Also why you have not completed your AOS because they will think you went TNT.

If you are serious about your new boyfriend and are indeed serious about having a family, and not just coming to the USA for Immigration benefits. Then you need to be honest with him and tell him that you are not ready and that you need to get a honest and full annulment before wasting time and money on your plan of fraud.

Is there any wonder why Manila is one of the top 3 high fraud Embassies?

Thanks NutMagnet for your sentiments.

My k1 visa expired Aug.5, 2007.. I left Aug.3,2007

I got married on the 87th day of the 90days period...and we filed for the AOS>

The whole time i was in the US, it involved physical abuse.Everytime he has bipolar attacks, he sent me and my son 4 times to the nearest motel and let us stay there for 3-4 nights just becoz he felt like it.. I never call the police, but our neighbors did. I never show them my bruises coz i dont want my exhusband to be in trouble (POOR USC HUSBAND VICTIM HUH!).. July 27,2007,..another police thingy happened in the house, the police want me to go to the shelter coz they said im not safe anymore to be with the guy., I told them., I cannot just drag my son to the shelter and be a burden to anyone..so I said, im just gonna go back to the Philippines...

Oct. 2008 to January 2009... My exhusband "made me believe" that he will file the divorce.. so i sent him signed paperworks twice. coz he lied to me twice... he made excuses why he werent able to do it.. but eventually,. he admitted., HE WILL NEVER FILE THE DIVORCE coz he SAID he dont want me to be married again..But we were already separated since AUG>2007.

And yes,,. I do deserve a second chance... I hired a lawyer in the US to do the divorce. and I chose to just do the DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE. I do have a choice to do the DIVision of Property coz we had some acquired during the marriage, but I know that he worked hard for it.,even though some properties has my name on it., but he deserved all of it...

When he found out that i got a boyfriend.. He flew all the way to the Philippines from DEC> 2008 to May 2009, and went to our house and took back everything that he gave me and to my son., from the toys to the clothes, to everything that he knew its from his money. He atleast had lots of balikbayan boxes for all of it. he took back the engagement ring, the wedding ring, ... everything.... my family said, if its gonna make him happy., then so be it....

If the police came to your house here in the United States and there was a domestice dispute they would not "ASK" you to go to a shelter. If they thought that anyone was in danger in that home, then they would remove someone, most likely your husband. out of the home. Something is wrong here....

Also I am wondering how is it that such a short marriage had time for any properties to be gained on either side. Something else, how is that a USC has enough power to go to a foreign country and go inside someones home and remove things that is his, or not his, something is weird here. I am not saying you are lying, but you are not putting forward the whole story. I do think that both your husband and you are victims here. Being bipolar is something that should of been figured out b4 you get married. YOu are losing your trust here. You say that your husband is so abusive, but you just found that out after you get to the USA? How long you knew this guy? And you are so quick to marry again?

[Merry Ann's Mykul 0]

Hello all,

My name is Ray. I am the fiance of nydvo. I have been reading all the responses here to our situation. Let me just say that obviously anyone can reply, but I would appreciate the comments to be civil. Yes this applies to NutMagnet. What gives you the right to attack and judge someone on this forum? If you dont like someones post here or the situation it is refering to..that is fine. Just keep the attacks to yourself.

I am not going to repeat the facts of our situation here. It was posted a few times. The main fact here that everyone seems to be missing is that the US marriage was never reported to the Philippine government. I have talked with an immigration lawyer here in the US and in the Philippines and they both said the same thing. No reported marriage means no marriage. I know all the family law articles as I did research myself to find out about this matter and it even states there that the marriage outside the Philippines still needs to be reported to the Philippine government for it to be valid. Yes, a marriage outside the Philippines is valid and recognized in the Philippines... as long as it is reported.

In response to the few people who are saying the marriage still needs to be annuled: What technically is being annuled? There is no marriage recorded to be annuled. Both immigration lawyers confirmed this to me. This is not my fiance being sneaky or commiting any fraud as some of you have suggested. Is it lucky? Of course. But as NutMagnet thinks, the so called "poor american ex-husband victim" should have known better also and reported the marriage right after. If anyone is to blame here for anything it is him. If you all only knew more of the story involved here with the ex-husband, maybe some of the negative comments and attacks would go away.

Dont be so quick to judge when you dont know all the facts.

My fiance didn't overstay her first K-1 visa. Yes, the AOS was filed but they never went to the interview as she was already out of the US. There was an attempt to make the marriage work with her then husband and the spousal visa was filed, but after a few months it was clear it wasn't going to work out. The spousal visa was approved but at that point they were already talking about divorce. The husband said he was going to file for divorce numerous times and he never did. Two sets of divorce papers were sent to my fiance for her signature but he never filed. He flat out admitted to me that he wont file papers. At that point, I hired a lawyer here in the US to do the divorce. Why should my fiance be strung along by her now ex-husband, who admitted he just wanted to cause trouble for her? If anyone here committed fraud and was deceitful it was the ex-husband. My fiance should not be attacked for wanting to be free of him and for doing what she needs to do to accomplish this. So if being aggressive in wanting to be divorced from an abusive, controlling husband makes her guilty.. well then NutMagnet, She and I are both guilty....and when two immigration lawyers from both countries confirm to us that we are free and clear to pursue our goals, that is all the justification we need.

I dont know what else to say..... :-)

i think the question everyone wants to ask , is how you and your fiancee meet? HOw is it in such a short period that you and her had time to fall in love? Or are you the guy that undercut another mans wife, and she is using you to get back to the USA and on top of that she was looking to make an upgrade.

It looks to me, that she was looking for you, and she was looking for you as soon as she got to the USA. YOu are the next victim.

[RonMay 1]

If the police came to your house here in the United States and there was a domestice dispute they would not "ASK" you to go to a shelter. If they thought that anyone was in danger in that home, then they would remove someone, most likely your husband. out of the home. Something is wrong here....

Also I am wondering how is it that such a short marriage had time for any properties to be gained on either side. Something else, how is that a USC has enough power to go to a foreign country and go inside someones home and remove things that is his, or not his, something is weird here. I am not saying you are lying, but you are not putting forward the whole story. I do think that both your husband and you are victims here. Being bipolar is something that should of been figured out b4 you get married. YOu are losing your trust here. You say that your husband is so abusive, but you just found that out after you get to the USA? How long you knew this guy? And you are so quick to marry again?

she's separated since 2007... although the official divorce just happened this year (my understanding) but she's already back in phil 6 months after she's married to her husband for some unfortunate reason... officially and legally separated since 2007... i dont think thats super quick to marry in my opinion... she's move on and deserve to be happy.

[Merry Ann's Mykul 0]

If the police came to your house here in the United States and there was a domestice dispute they would not "ASK" you to go to a shelter. If they thought that anyone was in danger in that home, then they would remove someone, most likely your husband. out of the home. Something is wrong here....

Also I am wondering how is it that such a short marriage had time for any properties to be gained on either side. Something else, how is that a USC has enough power to go to a foreign country and go inside someones home and remove things that is his, or not his, something is weird here. I am not saying you are lying, but you are not putting forward the whole story. I do think that both your husband and you are victims here. Being bipolar is something that should of been figured out b4 you get married. YOu are losing your trust here. You say that your husband is so abusive, but you just found that out after you get to the USA? How long you knew this guy? And you are so quick to marry again?

she's separated since 2007... although the official divorce just happened this year (my understanding) but she's already back in phil 6 months after she's married to her husband for some unfortunate reason... officially and legally separated since 2007... i dont think thats super quick to marry in my opinion... she's move on and deserve to be happy.

You may be right, but it such a coincidence that she found another USC and is back in love and is already looking to file another K1. Not only that we are now finding out that she has been approved to go back to the US on a spousal visa? Something is really really wrong witht his case. I think the first USC, the bipolar guy, was used as a ticket to the USA. What did she do, go back online and then trust someone in a foreign country again, where she had such a bad experience b4. In most cases these things dont happen so quickly. I am sorry, it seems to me we are enabling 2 people who used someone else. I am not convinced the other guy is the monster that is being put forth to be. We cannot hear from him. So I am not so quick to believe this guy was a bad guy, and she is an angell here.

[walls1010 3]

Thanks TNGIRL for the reply and the concern.

1 of the lawyer that we talked to is an american immigration lawyer that Helped alot of filipino-american couples going thru immigration process. Hes popular in one of the fil-am forum like visajourney.. Infact, we're gonna hire him to do the k1.

I appreciate all the answers and inputs to my queries here. And thank you so much!

I might think that im so unlucky becoz i got an exhusband who NEVER plan to file the divorce. and i am from a country that is not that fair when it comes to this marriage thingy.. but i know that I didnt do anything wrong. no fraud. no overstaying. it just happened that my marriage didnt work out and im a filipino..but still I deserve every chance in the world to start again.

The k1 will go on. and at the time of the interview,. i will have my divorce decree and my CENOmar. and the rest of the documents. I will be ready.honest with everything.. and alot of prayers.

If theres delays, RFE, AR.Denial,whatsoever, then we'll handle it when it happens..

I hope you all can pray for me. I will be posting my timeline as soon as we will get our NOA1.

I do believe in "Do your best, and God will do the rest"...

Thank you ALL again....

There you go ....goodluck and God bless.

Bring along with you your marriage certificate to support your divorce decree from the USA. It's the USA gov't. you're going to deal with about your documents and not the Phils. gov't. I believe in my heart the US immigration won't deny your k1 visa

Edited August 18, 2009 by walls1010

[ray77755 0]

I really hope that Mr. Ray Bacon, an american immigration lawyer, wasnt giving us wrong informations. He helped alot of Filipino- American couples going thru the immigration process..

Sorry to inform you that Mr. Ray Bacon, is NOT an american immigration lawyer. He works for the state of California and in his spare time helps people do fiance and spouse visa paperwork.

[nydvo 0]

Merry Ann,

You haven't read all the posts it seems like, and yes, there are always two sides to every story. My fiance will be the first to admit that she is no angel. It is unfortunate that you wont hear from the ex-husband, and even if you did....do you believe he would be honest? Given your mindset here that you are suspicious of a fellow Filipina and so trusting of an american just because he is an american is typical. I am not going to tell you about the ex-husband here because again you wont believe what I am saying. You will just say the same as you did about my fiance. All I will say is that I have talked to her ex-husband many times and I know for myself that he is the one who was at fault here. He flat out admitted to me that he basically lied to my fiance on more than one occasion.

To answer some of your questions now... We met online, obviously, and at the time we met she was already seperated from her husband for just about 10 months. Next, If police are called to someones home they cannot just remove anyone without a request by the other spouse. My fiance choose not to file any police reports because that was HER choice. Do some reading on bi-polar people also. As long as they are on their medication you probably will never know they are bi-polar. It is not that hard to trick someone and be phony before they actually get to the US. And if my fiance was "using her ex-husband for a ticket to the USA, why did she leave before the visa expired? If she was comitting fraud and just wanted to be in the USA, why didn't she just go to a shelter and report the abuse. And even if she did leave, after her ex-husband filed the AOS and even the spousal visa, why didn't she return after it was approved? Filipinas are so very spiteful and quick to judge others situations.

I wonder how you would have handled a situation like abuse if it happened to you. It would have been very easy for my fiance to just stay in the US and continue to just "use" her ex for a green card. She did the total opposite....and now you are attacking her because she and I met online and we want to do another K-1? Why should she have issues with all americans when it was only ONE american who she had a bad relationship with? Should I or any other american hold bad feelings or sentiments towards you or any other Filipina because of the Filipinas who are scammers and users? That is a very unfair and silly thing to say about us. I have treated my fiance with nothing but respect and love, and she has treated me the same. My past or her past should not be judged by anyone. Other than the fact that she was technically married when I first met her online, there have been no troubles or issues what so ever from her. I knew she was married and seperated and I chose to pursue a relationship with her. I knew what was involved and yes, dealing with her ex-husband was and is difficult. But you should know all the fact first before giving your opinion. Even then, I suspect you would have said the same as you did.

Nothing about my relationship with my fiance happened "quickly" as you said. I didn't make my first trip to the Philippines to meet her in person for over 6 months... is that to quick to decide to meet someone you met online? No one was being "used" here as you said also and if you knew all the fact here you wouldn't have said that. It is an unfortunate situation that her first marriage was the way it was. Marriages go bad, it happens all the time. She has fault in that marriage ending, just as he does...but no one should be penalized for it now. Relationships end and people move on....and if my fiance and I happened to fall in love and chose to pursue a life together and if we happen to be from different countries and need a visa to bring her here...what really is the problem with that? All our documents are in order. We meet all the requirements that the USCIS requires, so where is the fraud? where is the deceit?

I am tired of typing now :-) See you all later

[nydvo 0]

It would seem to me that rather than come to VJ expecting legal questions answered one would continue with their legal process to the end. The bottom line is to not lie on any USCIS forms. If you need legal advise to resolve those issues then do so but don't turn around and scold people here on VJ just trying to help.

That is true Jasman, but people on here shouldnt attack and judge either.

[jom 4]

I wish people will stop making presumptions on what transpired betwee the OP and the ex husband. Most of us are very lucky that we didn't encounter their problem. Who are we to judge them? So what if she found another USC to sponsor her in coming back here, its none of our business.Just thank your lucky stars that you have a smooth sailing visa process and pray for our fellow Filipina who deserves a second chance.

[Merry Ann's Mykul 0]

Merry Ann,

You haven't read all the posts it seems like, and yes, there are always two sides to every story. My fiance will be the first to admit that she is no angel. It is unfortunate that you wont hear from the ex-husband, and even if you did....do you believe he would be honest? Given your mindset here that you are suspicious of a fellow Filipina and so trusting of an american just because he is an american is typical. I am not going to tell you about the ex-husband here because again you wont believe what I am saying. You will just say the same as you did about my fiance. All I will say is that I have talked to her ex-husband many times and I know for myself that he is the one who was at fault here. He flat out admitted to me that he basically lied to my fiance on more than one occasion.

To answer some of your questions now... We met online, obviously, and at the time we met she was already seperated from her husband for just about 10 months. Next, If police are called to someones home they cannot just remove anyone without a request by the other spouse. My fiance choose not to file any police reports because that was HER choice. Do some reading on bi-polar people also. As long as they are on their medication you probably will never know they are bi-polar. It is not that hard to trick someone and be phony before they actually get to the US. And if my fiance was "using her ex-husband for a ticket to the USA, why did she leave before the visa expired? If she was comitting fraud and just wanted to be in the USA, why didn't she just go to a shelter and report the abuse. And even if she did leave, after her ex-husband filed the AOS and even the spousal visa, why didn't she return after it was approved? Filipinas are so very spiteful and quick to judge others situations.

I wonder how you would have handled a situation like abuse if it happened to you. It would have been very easy for my fiance to just stay in the US and continue to just "use" her ex for a green card. She did the total opposite....and now you are attacking her because she and I met online and we want to do another K-1? Why should she have issues with all americans when it was only ONE american who she had a bad relationship with? Should I or any other american hold bad feelings or sentiments towards you or any other Filipina because of the Filipinas who are scammers and users? That is a very unfair and silly thing to say about us. I have treated my fiance with nothing but respect and love, and she has treated me the same. My past or her past should not be judged by anyone. Other than the fact that she was technically married when I first met her online, there have been no troubles or issues what so ever from her. I knew she was married and seperated and I chose to pursue a relationship with her. I knew what was involved and yes, dealing with her ex-husband was and is difficult. But you should know all the fact first before giving your opinion. Even then, I suspect you would have said the same as you did.

Nothing about my relationship with my fiance happened "quickly" as you said. I didn't make my first trip to the Philippines to meet her in person for over 6 months... is that to quick to decide to meet someone you met online? No one was being "used" here as you said also and if you knew all the fact here you wouldn't have said that. It is an unfortunate situation that her first marriage was the way it was. Marriages go bad, it happens all the time. She has fault in that marriage ending, just as he does...but no one should be penalized for it now. Relationships end and people move on....and if my fiance and I happened to fall in love and chose to pursue a life together and if we happen to be from different countries and need a visa to bring her here...what really is the problem with that? All our documents are in order. We meet all the requirements that the USCIS requires, so where is the fraud? where is the deceit?

I am tired of typing now :-) See you all later

Well you put your issue here on VJ for all to see. I did not push the buttons on your computer on this issue. You are asking for advice, and I asked some questions that I think are legitimate. I see a huge problem here. I do not care about whether there is sincere love within you and your finace or not. But it seems to me, that even the9 or 10 months of meeting her online and a trip PH is not responsible by the both of you. Considering you said you have spoken with the ex-spouse it seems to me that there is an issue here, with the two of you. One person is using another. And this is the sad part about USC who marry women from countries where the women are not economically stable. The problems here seems that she is making her way back to the United States to prove her own spitefulness to her ex spouse that she dont need him. And you are the victim. Dont tell me that she is not also spitefiul to her ex-husband who has put anger in her, she si quick to prove to him that she will be happy.

YOu are just a stand in for her ploy to prove her overcoming such a bad situation.

But I do think that you love her, but you better be sure that you are not being used. I am sure that the process will be slower this 2nd time because there is so much confusion with the first marriage. But I wish you luck, and I hope that this 2nd marriage will be successful.

[Merry Ann's Mykul 0]

I wish people will stop making presumptions on what transpired betwee the OP and the ex husband. Most of us are very lucky that we didn't encounter their problem. Who are we to judge them? So what if she found another USC to sponsor her in coming back here, its none of our business.Just thank your lucky stars that you have a smooth sailing visa process and pray for our fellow Filipina who deserves a second chance.

Yea well, I know its hard to hear what I am saying, but there is something very wrong here. Its easy to see if you look at the writing on the wall. One thing we should all be fighting against is fraud. Ihave found that eople are using this sight to enable the thinking of many filipinas to actually do fruad.

The timelines dont fit. She went back to the PHilippines and file for a spousal visa and had all the time to find a new fiance? All in the span of 14 months? Huh? Remember she had to commit or agree to the spousal visa> di ba? It takes time for that visa to be approved Huh?!!!!!!! What?!!!!! Something is wrong here?

And remember she has agreed on every occasion to sign the AOS first in the USA and then the spousal visa in the PH?! And now she want sign a K1 with another guy????!!!! It looks to me this person id doing everything in her power to get back to USA. And she will do whatever it takes to do so.

And we will see a 2ndvictim again with this thing.

Another post with a person who found out they married the wrong person.

The K1 process is not McDonalds. Its for sincere people who love each other, and want o be with each other for life.

Nahhhhhhhhh!!! I smell malansa....

[nydvo 0]

hi merry ann's mykul,.

from the messages that you wrote., i doubt that you are the filipina. but who knows.

well, this is nydvo.

I met my fiance now 10 months after i got legally separated. a few months after that meeting online , we met in person the first time... We got engaged the 3rd time he visited me.

I cannot defend myself enough that i am not using anyone here. If only you were a member of the other fil-am forum, and ive been a member there before i got married, the members there were witnesses on how i was abused by my exhusband, some of the members there called me everytime im being sent to the motel everytime he has his bipolar attacks.. They wanna help me so bad.,

and i found out that he was bipolar the night after we got married., I seen it on tv, a commercial about bipolar thingy., i never heard of the term bipolar before.. and on the commecial, they were explaining, "is your spouse like this, is your spouse like that?..blahblah blah...." we were already together 87 days before we got married, so i seen all those attitudes from him, so i innocently asked him., "are you bipolar?"... and he said,. YES,.SO WHAT?!.No medications. He refused to do so coz he said,he's all fine... all those times that his mood swings got extremely low, and we fight.,i always thought that hes jsut having a bad day., . after the revelation of the bipolar thingy., we had a fight again., i was home cleaning the house, watching tv, answering the business phone calls., while he was driving to his service calls., He got pulled over becoz of speeding, no seatbelt, ... after he settled all those, he went home,. drag me around the living room that caused lots of carpet burns,. and i didnt know why., he said., ITS ALL MY FAULT WHY HE was PULLED OVER COZ HE WAS THINKING OF ME... and u know the sad thing is? I believed him, i felt so bad.. I apologized. and right after i apologized, he was ok again., so happy.. like nothing happened. while my elbows and knees were bleeding...

but I happened to love my exhusband that i dont wanna leave him, I dont wanna report him to the police. Am i stupid for doing that coz im a filipina and one slap from the husband will not make me put him in trouble?

I am also at fault here. Coz i know that my fiance then at that time hates to hear someone crying. He seriously hates it. He dont wanna be around babies, coz he gets furiously mad when he hear them crying. and I cried alot when i was there. It was so cold, Minnesota, arrived there FEBruary.. I missed my family. I wanted so much to eat filipino food. and becoz my fiance then was single, never been married and 47 years old.. he eats out everyday for many many years. when i got there., never had 1 kitchen utensils, no plate, no glass,. the kitchen was empty...but eventually, we bought kitchenwares.,coz i got so fed up eating at the fastfood places..and when i say everyday, it means, we eat at restaurants, fastfood stuffs atleast 3 times a day.

If i am spiteful, i should have just called the police the very first time he hit me with a sledding toy right on my face while we were walking around the neighborhood,. why he hit me? becoz i constantly keep on telling my son to be careful while walking coz the ice on the street was dangerous..he got annoyed ., I think...

if i am spiteful.,i should have go through with the division of property. When he attacked me in our house here in the philippines to take back all the things, I should have called the local police coz of trespassing. but I didnt. Me and my family just want it to be over. We gave him whatever he wanted. with the thought in our mind that he will stop. but,he didnt. He got a girlfriend who was just our neighbor , becoz he knows that its embarrassing for my family. He went to our local church and tried to date all my churchmates coz he was thinking that those filipinas will be running over him. My family was the talk of the town,. but we kept our silence. we let him do whatever he wants to do. Those whole times., We hoped and prayed that he will just go back to the US or atleast, go to manila and enjoy his 5 months stay in the philippines. But he chose to be in our neighborhood... i even decided to move to manila while he's here in our city just to be away., but the moment he found out that im planning to leave, he planned to leave too and fly to manila...

again.. Its not his fault.. I was a cryer., and the hitting? just becoz i didnt react the very first time he did it., i just cried., made him believe that he can hit me again and again., and i let him do that.. Thats my fault too..

but time has passed., i moved on., I wanna be happy..

merryann's mykul., If you think that i am using anyone here, so be it. You have all the right to have your opinion. And i respect that.But what matters to me, Is what my fiance now thinks and feel about me.. He wholeheartedly believes the truth..

I cannot stop u from judging me. infact, I wanna thank you for saying all those coz You made me realize that THIS TIME, I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. I DESERVE THE RIGHT GUY..I DESERVE A GOOD LIFE.. and thats what i have Now.. Arent you gonna be happy for me? fellow human? i believe u have a good heart...

[Merry Ann's Mykul 0]

hi merry ann's mykul,.

from the messages that you wrote., i doubt that you are the filipina. but who knows.

well, this is nydvo.

I met my fiance now 10 months after i got legally separated. a few months after that meeting online , we met in person the first time... We got engaged the 3rd time he visited me.

I cannot defend myself enough that i am not using anyone here. If only you were a member of the other fil-am forum, and ive been a member there before i got married, the members there were witnesses on how i was abused by my exhusband, some of the members there called me everytime im being sent to the motel everytime he has his bipolar attacks.. They wanna help me so bad.,

and i found out that he was bipolar the night after we got married., I seen it on tv, a commercial about bipolar thingy., i never heard of the term bipolar before.. and on the commecial, they were explaining, "is your spouse like this, is your spouse like that?..blahblah blah...." we were already together 87 days before we got married, so i seen all those attitudes from him, so i innocently asked him., "are you bipolar?"... and he said,. YES,.SO WHAT?!.No medications. He refused to do so coz he said,he's all fine... all those times that his mood swings got extremely low, and we fight.,i always thought that hes jsut having a bad day., . after the revelation of the bipolar thingy., we had a fight again., i was home cleaning the house, watching tv, answering the business phone calls., while he was driving to his service calls., He got pulled over becoz of speeding, no seatbelt, ... after he settled all those, he went home,. drag me around the living room that caused lots of carpet burns,. and i didnt know why., he said., ITS ALL MY FAULT WHY HE was PULLED OVER COZ HE WAS THINKING OF ME... and u know the sad thing is? I believed him, i felt so bad.. I apologized. and right after i apologized, he was ok again., so happy.. like nothing happened. while my elbows and knees were bleeding...

but I happened to love my exhusband that i dont wanna leave him, I dont wanna report him to the police. Am i stupid for doing that coz im a filipina and one slap from the husband will not make me put him in trouble?

I am also at fault here. Coz i know that my fiance then at that time hates to hear someone crying. He seriously hates it. He dont wanna be around babies, coz he gets furiously mad when he hear them crying. and I cried alot when i was there. It was so cold, Minnesota, arrived there FEBruary.. I missed my family. I wanted so much to eat filipino food. and becoz my fiance then was single, never been married and 47 years old.. he eats out everyday for many many years. when i got there., never had 1 kitchen utensils, no plate, no glass,. the kitchen was empty...but eventually, we bought kitchenwares.,coz i got so fed up eating at the fastfood places..and when i say everyday, it means, we eat at restaurants, fastfood stuffs atleast 3 times a day.

If i am spiteful, i should have just called the police the very first time he hit me with a sledding toy right on my face while we were walking around the neighborhood,. why he hit me? becoz i constantly keep on telling my son to be careful while walking coz the ice on the street was dangerous..he got annoyed ., I think...

if i am spiteful.,i should have go through with the division of property. When he attacked me in our house here in the philippines to take back all the things, I should have called the local police coz of trespassing. but I didnt. Me and my family just want it to be over. We gave him whatever he wanted. with the thought in our mind that he will stop. but,he didnt. He got a girlfriend who was just our neighbor , becoz he knows that its embarrassing for my family. He went to our local church and tried to date all my churchmates coz he was thinking that those filipinas will be running over him. My family was the talk of the town,. but we kept our silence. we let him do whatever he wants to do. Those whole times., We hoped and prayed that he will just go back to the US or atleast, go to manila and enjoy his 5 months stay in the philippines. But he chose to be in our neighborhood... i even decided to move to manila while he's here in our city just to be away., but the moment he found out that im planning to leave, he planned to leave too and fly to manila...

again.. Its not his fault.. I was a cryer., and the hitting? just becoz i didnt react the very first time he did it., i just cried., made him believe that he can hit me again and again., and i let him do that.. Thats my fault too..

but time has passed., i moved on., I wanna be happy..

merryann's mykul., If you think that i am using anyone here, so be it. You have all the right to have your opinion. And i respect that.But what matters to me, Is what my fiance now thinks and feel about me.. He wholeheartedly believes the truth..

I cannot stop u from judging me. infact, I wanna thank you for saying all those coz You made me realize that THIS TIME, I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. I DESERVE THE RIGHT GUY..I DESERVE A GOOD LIFE.. and thats what i have Now.. Arent you gonna be happy for me? fellow human? i believe u have a good heart...

I am sorry, but I hear the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story so much on TV and from alot of women, that is gets old now. Its starting to sound fake. I stay on you and your fiance, because you claim yo got involved with a monster, and not one clue while you were dating showed that this man is a monster? sigh...this gets old. How often have I heard this story told how thge guy was so nice when they dated and then she gets to the US and he is some monster out of some SciFi movie. sigh...this gets really old. I mean I have been on this planet for 42 years and I have heard so many stories of these men, but I have yet to run into them. But ok, I really do hope that you both are sincere, and that you are not using each other.

YOu got one strong thing going for you, and that is you it was strong evidence that you sincerely want a good marriage. So you smart by leaving the U.S. and then try to go back. I just think that was planned. I think you and so many other filipinas have this thing down to a science and the school each other on how to use people. That you knew that you have a strong case for 2nd K1 to be approved, by using a guy for the first K1.

Of course they will see that you left on your own fruition so you look good there. I just hope that you are sincere with the 2nd fiancee and is not planning to start issues with him when you arrive in the US. I warn him to watch his marriage closely, and to watch what decisions you make once you arrive back here in the U.S. I have seen all the tricks in the book on these things. I have seen naive stupid USC, and naive stupid beneficiaries. People get hurt. And lives get ruined. I see this stuff on the news all the time.

If you are sincere, i am sorry for saying what I have said. But by the info given here, I think that once again, the USC is moving to fast with a woman who is questionable. He judgment alone is questionable. Why marry someone that cannot discern a man who had as many issues as you say? That is the issue here.