Jealousy

[MichelleandCraig 1]

it's just our opinions Mercury..but in mine..yes, you should. Of COURSE there would be no question if it were a girl...there's no question your honey goes that way if you know what I mean!! I didn't care how many men Craig hung out with when we were apart either! I would, however, have had a MAJORRRRRR problem with him hanging one on one with the girls..and not just a bunch of girls..one who he was talking to a lot on the phone, etc etc..know what I mean? You're not nuts! Just talk to her, I'm sure it'll resolve..ok..I've said enuf, I'm out! M.

[mercuryroad 0]

Thanks home-stater. Behold the power of cheese.

I appreciate the feedback from everyone too. I feel much less hostile hahahahaha.......and that's not me dude....I'm all about the jokes.

[nordicwolf 0]

yes this is way beyond the bounds and sounds like a major concern.....

dicipline.... - its the most important think - we are only human and sometimes we can have feeligns for more than one person - if we let that opportunity exist - and she has done so with no regard to what she is really allow to happen - i think all people instinctivly worry for a reason. your feelings are accurate and reason for concern - no woman should be doing this to a man and should darn well know what the man in thinking.... anyhow-- i can understand if she is doing things wtih an office group - but feeling sorry for him - he is big boy - i dont tink i ever had a woma spend time with me because she feels sorry i am alone... she is interested more - she likes him - and flirting with entertaining more- it could be she is lonely or it could be that ur relatiosn are not on the solid foot you had thought..

my opinion

[mercuryroad 0]

it could be that ur relatiosn are not on the solid foot you had thought..

Thanks for the sunshine and roses!

I know, I know.....your just voicing your opinion and I'm the one who put the topic out there.

[Fandango 1,440]

I'm being curious here and not trying to stir the pot

BUT

I personally don't understand why you'd rather share this with us than her...if you're going to marry her & share your lives, why are you worried about how you're going to look to her?

Edited January 29, 2006 by LisaD

[j&js 0]

I think your fiance just sounds like a sweet woman who is trying to help somebody out and let a real FRIENDship develop. It sounds like she talks to him about you and tells you all about him, and that her intentions seem sound.

She has told you that this guy is your biggest fan, that probably means that she can talk to him about how much she misses you and can't wait to be with you. I know that for me, the friends that I can really talk to about James and our situation are special because its really what I am thinking about most of the time! He may provide the same kind of thing for her.

That being said, his intentions don't sound 100% honest. And I think you have every right to be upset. Especially when we are apart, its human nature to get jealous in this kind of situation.

Like everybody else has said I would tell her how you feel. I would make sure to include in that conversation how much you know you can trust her, but just can't help feeling a weird about the situation and then I would leave the ball in her court.

[mercuryroad 0]

I personally don't understand why you'd rather share this with us than her...if you're going to marry her & share your lives, why are you worried about how you're going to look to her?

Sometimes it is just nice to hear from people that will understand. We've all been in long distance relationships and that is something kind of unique to the group of people on this site.

I totally intended on talking to her, but I'd rather collect my thoughts and vent a little first.

I'm not concerned about how I would look to her as much as I was concerned about how I would look to myself.

Edited January 29, 2006 by mercuryroad

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I'm there with ya!!! Gone off on one and then felt like a right mad lunatic was lookin me in the mirror!! Good on ya to get your thoughts together first..I'm sure it'll be fine!

[mercuryroad 0]

I think your fiance just sounds like a sweet woman who is trying to help somebody out and let a real FRIENDship develop. It sounds like she talks to him about you and tells you all about him, and that her intentions seem sound.

She has told you that this guy is your biggest fan, that probably means that she can talk to him about how much she misses you and can't wait to be with you. I know that for me, the friends that I can really talk to about James and our situation are special because its really what I am thinking about most of the time! He may provide the same kind of thing for her.

I just spoke to her and you were dead-on......even though I knew that already hahahaha. I explained that it wasn't him that was bothering me specifically.....it was more of the situation. Mi amor is sooooo sweet and she felt really bad about everything. For some reason, I just needed to hear it from her mouth.

It's all good in the WI hood tonight.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

awwwwwwww that's good. glad you talked to her. M.

PS We're lookin at March 10th for the meetup..mark it down!

Edited January 29, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[mercuryroad 0]

PS We're lookin at March 10th for the meetup..mark it down!

If I'm not in Peru, then I'm so there.

awwwwwwww that's good. glad you talked to her.

Thanks! Mi amor ain't no holla back girl

[MichelleandCraig 1]

good on her. Gives you peace of mind!!

[Aymerlu 3]

Nooooooo way! You are completely ok in feeling how you feel. I myself would freak out if my fiance was doing that. I think it's ok to talk a bit, MAYBE do lunch or coffee on occasion, but spending a lot of time together....NO WAY. Sure, you trust your fiance, but you need to tell your fiance how you feel and she should understand. Ask her how she would feel the the table was turned. I just think when you set up situations that something could happen....well it could. Long distance relationships seem to put a lot of "what if's" out there on the table.

[germangel 0]

hey there,

Saw it's all sorted out. But I totally understand your concerns.

Your fiancee sounds like a sweet person and I'm sure she only wants to help the poor dude.

But you didn't know him personally and so it is understandable that you are a bit worried when that guy you don't know spends so much valuable time with your lady.

And we all know how it is. You are friends with someone and think it's clear it's just friendship but somehow they wanna get in your pants anyways, even though you are in a happy healthy relationship.

It's good you talked to her about it because she needs to know where it starts to bother you so she can act accordingly.

[Fischkoepfin 1]

I don't find it weird to hang out with a guy one-on-one eve if the guy is not my husband. Thing is I have as many guy-friends as girlfriends and it's all the same to me. I have noticed though that there is a culture difference to the US, and while I do hang out with guyfriend one-on-one in the US (they are usually in serious relationships, too), people sometimes stare at us or make weird comments.

That being said I don't think it's weird for you to be jealous. A few years ago my now-husband was teaching English in Germany and one of his students hit on him. He was sort of lonely so he hung out with her a lot. It drove me up the wall; on the one hand, I knew I could trust him, but on the other hand, I was too far away to ascertain my trust. So I usually just talked to him about it, letting him know that I cared but making sure that they didn't go too far. Now, they are still really good friends, and everything worked out fine. The woman hated me for a while, but she got over it.

Now that I'm the one away from home, I'm still sometimes very jealous, like when my husband goes to see a movie with his friend or one of my girlfriends. I've been thinking about it, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm jealous because they can enjoy time together whereas I haven't seen any of them in almost a year.

So, good luck and trust your fiancee as hard as it seems right now.