What is the hardest thing you had to give up?

[Hokie97 5]

My family, my lifestyle, my identity......I totally underestimated how much I would miss all three.

Yes! The first two I knew would happen, and was a BIT better prepared for. The third, I was overwhelmed with. Also, I had to give up my dog and my cat (I had recently lost another dog and cat to medical problems), and they'd been my constant companions for 10 years. They are with my parents now, whom they've known their whole lives, but I have incredible guilt and sadness about abandoning them. And I get really lonely here, and that is when I miss them the most.

How do I deal with it?! I cry! Only sometimes. But it does help. I try to talk to family and friends on the phone weekly or at least monthly with some. Time zones are a pain, aren't they? At first, I avoided asking about the animals, but after a few good cries with my dad on the phone, I can ask about them, listen to him tell me stories and it is actually comforting to me, though it still hurts.

[Mrs.J06 4]

My family, my lifestyle, my identity......I totally underestimated how much I would miss all three.

Yes! The first two I knew would happen, and was a BIT better prepared for. The third, I was overwhelmed with. Also, I had to give up my dog and my cat (I had recently lost another dog and cat to medical problems), and they'd been my constant companions for 10 years. They are with my parents now, whom they've known their whole lives, but I have incredible guilt and sadness about abandoning them. And I get really lonely here, and that is when I miss them the most.

How do I deal with it?! I cry! Only sometimes. But it does help. I try to talk to family and friends on the phone weekly or at least monthly with some. Time zones are a pain, aren't they? At first, I avoided asking about the animals, but after a few good cries with my dad on the phone, I can ask about them, listen to him tell me stories and it is actually comforting to me, though it still hurts.

Agree 100% except for the dog...

[Twisted K 2]

i haven't had to give up much yet, since my husband is still away, but i promised him since he is willing to move around the world for me, the least i can do is move across country with him. i know it does not even compare to what immigrants go through.

i totally agree with the time difference. I had to set my cell phone for the dual time zones.

thanks for everyone's input. i think it is good for the soul to share what you are going through.

[BigBubble 1]

What is the hardest thing you had to give up?

The hardest thing that I have to give up is My virginity during the night of our honeymoon.

Ha ha, you are funny bulaklak!

For me was MY PARENTS without any doubt. And of course food and lifestyle (to be able to WALK!! to places)

For the ones who feel they lost identity...why dont you just keep your maiden name?

[Welshcookie 17]

For the ones who feel they lost identity...why dont you just keep your maiden name?

Losing 'identity' is not meant in the literal term

[MrsCat 6]

Hardest thing to give up . . . . . . . my boyfriend, he treated me so well.

[Welshcookie 17]

Hardest thing to give up . . . . . . . my boyfriend, he treated me so well.

[BigBubble 1]

Hardest thing to give up . . . . . . . my boyfriend, he treated me so well.

[Hokie97 5]

For the ones who feel they lost identity...why dont you just keep your maiden name?

For me it was losing who I was before I moved. An independent woman in a good career. A homeowner. Here, I am unemployed, I have no belongings except what fit in my suitcases. I am a mother to an 11 and 13 year old. On one level I don't mind those things. I LOVE my husband! I want to be with him more than anything. But I have become entirely dependent on him in every regard. He is the only socialization I get, as my family and friends have not been good about helping me stay in touch. I talk to voicemails a lot It's still early days for me yet, and I am trying to remain positive about things, but I have bad days... weeks... you get the picture.

[Twisted K 2]

Hardest thing to give up . . . . . . . my boyfriend, he treated me so well.

cute answer.

[movingsoon2 0]

Mrs. Cat

[TBoneTX 45,266]

"What is the hardest thing you had to give up?"

I give up... what?

[Clownies 2]

My mom, who's really getting older. My brother and his kids who i don't get to see growing up.

The places that reminds me of my dad who died 5 years ago.

My dog, who I'm afraid I won't see anymore because she's old now.

A job where i didn't have to be afraid to be "dismissed" at will. 40 days of paid vacation. Paid sick days. Financial stability. Decent and affordable health care.

My appartment which I own. There's something about owning your appartment, and then having to rent another for half your pay.

My friends.

Having a good beer in one of the many pubs.

The diversity of food, from all over the world. Here in California, there's nothing much except mexican and asian. And I still have to find a pizza that actually tastes like a pizza!

BUT, there's nothing like California veggies and fruits!

Last but not least: my hometown. Even after 3.5 years, I still don't feel "at home" here...

[NCWife 0]

My family is the hardest. I think about my mom and my sister everyday and the things we used to do together. Although I talk to my mom every weekend on the phone, it's different... it's just so tough. It has been more than a year and I still have this homesickness every single minute!

Then my friends..... It's not easy for an adult to make friends in a whole new country. I basically have no friends here and I can't just call someone and go out to "talk" whenever I am down (like I used to)

My indepedent lifestyle. I love my husband, I love our apartment but I feel like a prisoner. I can't drive yet, I am unemployed, I am home alone most of the time, no friends, can't go anywhere.... I just so miss going to work, hanging out with friends, going anywhere I want without feeling bad for having my tired husband to take me each time......

And...lastly my comfortable life. I had a good job and so I was able to buy anything I want and went on vacation at least a few times a year. Now, things are total opposite. No vacation anymore, must think twice before buying anything... so yeah.

All in all... I just thank God for having such a great husband who loves me and takes care of me.

Cheers..

[Hokie97 5]

My indepedent lifestyle. I love my husband, I love our apartment but I feel like a prisoner. I can't drive yet, I am unemployed, I am home alone most of the time, no friends, can't go anywhere.... I just so miss going to work, hanging out with friends, going anywhere I want without feeling bad for having my tired husband to take me each time......

I am so glad that someone else has used the word prisoner. This is exactly how I feel sometimes. My husband has never had a car, and financially we can't afford one. Even a learners permit costs £150.... lessons and the test are out of the question. We are both unemployed at the moment, and you may thing, great, you're home together all day. Not great. He spends his time with his online friends and I am left to aimlessly wander the internet or read. Which I love to do, but not for 5 months straight! Husband has some friends who have nice wives, but we don't have the money for me to be able to go out for drinks or a movie with them. So we're home and I can't spend money and I stress every week about being able to feed the children. It's a voluntary prison, as I LOVE my new family with all my heart. But it's not easy to live like this.

Edited August 29, 2009 by Hokie97