Cheating Husband

[chiffoncupcake 1]

Thank you for all the support and kindness. I will take the advice of keeping all the evidence. Similar events happened before our marriage and his excuse was he needed to experiment before getting married. In fact, I later found out whenever I went home to see my family, he looked for encounters and meetings with male and female. What pains me is he is completely satisfied in that department as he told me yet he looks for those encounters. I would not have married him if I knew that would be what he wanted to keep doing.

[canadian_wife 1,826]

I am sorry that you are going through this. Len is correct, gather and keep the evidence. If you do end up divorcing him, he cannot deport you if you have your green card. You can also remove conditions on your own if you can prove you entered into the marriage in good faith - which you can also show evidence that you have collected about his cheating and show that was the reason the marriage failed.

Good luck.

[Jonara 0]

Hope everyone is having a smooth journey.

My husband posted an ad on craigslist for sexual encounters with men and another personal ad to look for women (where he put his relationship status as "divorced"). He is not aware of I saw the ads and denied all of these. This is not the first incident that has ever happened in our relationship/ marriage. And I found myself becoming increasing intolerant towards this particular behavior. I do not know what to do anymore

What would you do if you were me?

Hey hang in there ok. I think everyone here has some great advise. Follow them closely and cover yourself. The marriage is in good fate but your husband loves to play. Patience would mean doing something else to better and to establish yourself so you can walk away from that marriage when the time comes. In the meantime also, please take care of your mental health and I hope this will not destroy your confidence totally.

[Old Dominion 26]

If your husband is unwilling to get psychological help with his problem, take the action you need to get out on your own, quickly.

[notmrshamiltonnow 0]

You should have responded to the ad and surprised him in the hotel room.

I like ur idea.. that way u could've caught him with his pants down.. (no pun intended)

[Ellie-and-David 38]

Thank you for all the support and kindness. I will take the advice of keeping all the evidence. Similar events happened before our marriage and his excuse was he needed to experiment before getting married. In fact, I later found out whenever I went home to see my family, he looked for encounters and meetings with male and female. What pains me is he is completely satisfied in that department as he told me yet he looks for those encounters. I would not have married him if I knew that would be what he wanted to keep doing.

Your in a horrible situation and you need to be smart.

Do as Len has suggested. Collect that evidence and be ready for removal of conditions.

Hang in there sweetie. I'm so sorry.

[kcoyclay1 98]

Make sure you print copies of the evidence to have as proof. You may need it. Print the bank statement showing use of the card, the ad on craigslist and the email confirmation. You can also forward the evidence to your email and put it in an folder for future retrieval. I am sorry to hear. All the best.

[kcoyclay1 98]

That excuse about needing to experiment before getting married was no excuse. I think he got married as a cover-up or to convince himself that he is only interested in the opposite sex. We have to take note of the things that happen before marriage, because they are usually the weak link that destroys the marriage. He is denying it the same way he denied it when he said he needed to experiment. Be careful, it's your choice; however, immigration will not hold you at fault because you do not want to stay in a realtionship that is unhealthy in that way. You have to do what is best for you at this point.

[R+E 0]

If I were in your shoes, I would probably consult an immigration lawyer (without my spouse knowing about it, of course). Where there's a doubt a professional help is the best solution.

[dutchmatt 1]

What's this got to do with immigration? ????

If you have nothing to contribute to the OP's questions, say nothing. Reported.

To the OP: make sure gather evidence of all this. If you do leave your husband, make sure to carry such evidence with you, so you can remove conditions on your own. If you manage to work thingso ut with him, good for you. Best of luck.

Get a life....take a break from the internet and spend some time with your family.

Edited August 14, 2009 by dutchmatt

[Ellie-and-David 38]

What's this got to do with immigration? ????

If you have nothing to contribute to the OP's questions, say nothing. Reported.

To the OP: make sure gather evidence of all this. If you do leave your husband, make sure to carry such evidence with you, so you can remove conditions on your own. If you manage to work thingso ut with him, good for you. Best of luck.

Get a life....take a break from the internet and spend some time with your family.

NOT pertinent to the discussion or helpful to the OP in a situation where guidance is required. Sound advice was given.

[Kurt y Dora 1]

"This is not the first incident that has ever happened in our relationship/ marriage. And I found myself becoming increasing intolerant towards this particular behavior."

I can't believe you have been tolerant at all with this behavior. If it is because you are worried about being deported, I think there is little chance of that now, especially since you have stuck around long enough to get your green card. If he was physically abusive, there are protections available to you, and his actions constitute some level of abuse, even if he is not striking you physically. To get the best answers, you might wish to consult with a qualified Immigration Attorney.

Good luck and it is a pity that you have had to endure such behavior at all. As another poster already mentioned, he is not likely to change his stripes - and any man who is willing to post an ad for sex with other men as well as women has serious problems and a total disregard for his own health, let alone yours.

Edited August 14, 2009 by Kurt y Dora

[D&R 0]

Thank you for all the support and kindness. I will take the advice of keeping all the evidence. Similar events happened before our marriage and his excuse was he needed to experiment before getting married. In fact, I later found out whenever I went home to see my family, he looked for encounters and meetings with male and female. What pains me is he is completely satisfied in that department as he told me yet he looks for those encounters. I would not have married him if I knew that would be what he wanted to keep doing.

So while you were courting him, he was 'experimenting' with men and women? If that's the case... it begs the question, Why the hell did you marry him???

[Ban Hammer 13,474]

Thank you all for your inputs. They are email exchanges from his account and a credit card bill of subscription service to personals service with his personal ad.

i'd say that's pretty compelling evidence that he placed the ads.

[EZ3145 0]

You should have responded to the ad and surprised him in the hotel room.

haha, Good one! I love that! He'll have no defense for that one. And get folks from that show "cheaters" to go with you so they can get things on camera. yup!