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[Krikit 1,165]

Oh, and I should mention..... many of us who left our homes and families to come to another country found it really difficult to adjust and adapt at first. We were homesick and stressed and scared and felt as if we had no control over our lives, and this was reflected in our behaviour. Oftentimes our hurt and anger had nothing whatsoever to do with a given situation.... it was merely a kneejerk reaction to all we were going through and not knowing how to reconcile our feelings. Not to mention that it's already a huge task to adapt to living with another person 24/7, let alone adding an offspring into the mix...... even if you've known them for years. I'd say his fiancee needs a big hug and some understanding. She's hurting and she needs a friend.

[TBoneTX 46,288]

We were homesick and stressed and scared and felt as if we had no control over our lives, and this was reflected in our behaviour. Oftentimes our hurt and anger had nothing whatsoever to do with a given situation.... it was merely a kneejerk reaction to all we were going through and not knowing how to reconcile our feelings.

This is 100% dead-nuts on, si man. My now-wife vehemently expressed, over and over, how fortunate it was for her and for BOTH of us that her K-1 entry wasn't her first time in the U.S. Her Ecuatoriana counterparts who did enter for the first time cried their eyes out for MONTHS, and one (here for nearly a year) is still suffering.

The "adjusting to the U.S." and homesickness issues have been thoroughly and elegantly discussed in other VJ fora, which the OP should research as a priority on behalf of his friend.

An additional consideration is that, even if we realize that culture-shock is likely and we expect to experience it, we can spend many weeks or months in a foreign country and still be hit with it -- precisely because we come to believe that we "have it all figured out," but things happen to make us realize that we don't at ALL. This goes for Americans in foreign countries, too. Just think (and shudder at) how much more overwhelming it is for a foreigner here who may have dimly expected such adjustment troubles but was smacked with more than he/she could ever have imagined. Perhaps the OP's friend should set aside most or all of the perceived "slights" and apply all possible pity toward the lone goal of helping his wife and daughter adjust to the U.S.