My wife doesn't like to have sex or approach me for sex ?

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Another reminder - this is not in off topic and off topic type of comments are not appropriate. Please discuss this issue courteously and keep the smart aleck comments to yourself.

More inappropriate comments have been removed.

[Donald-n-Analyn 6]

I work for a Bank in the IT department I applied for my son also they turn him down the said him coming to the US was not a life changing event.

Nobody has mentioned this yet...

Is your son her son also? If so, I could imagine that the fact that she had to leave him behind could be quite upsetting and distracting to her.

Just a thought

[New Beginnings 32]

I think we're all very quick to judge the woman here suggesting that she's just in it for the GC or that it's her BC that's causing her mood swings.

I would like to put that it's him causing her mood swings on the table. Sounds like a whiny guy which isn't going to put anyone in the mood.

Try talking to her in a calm way. Also, I suggest reading marriage building sites such as marriagebuilders.org which even if you aren't christian has a lot of great info. You both should take the emotional needs quiz and figure out what is important to each of you so you can meet each other's needs better.

It's time to put in the work rather than whinning online about it!

[Mrs. Disney 0]

My birth control has messed with me in that aspect before.

She should talk to her doctor about it and maybe switch brands.

What does she need birth control for anyway?

Some people want to avoid having babies just yet? Or ever.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

My birth control has messed with me in that aspect before.

She should talk to her doctor about it and maybe switch brands.

What does she need birth control for anyway?

Some people want to avoid having babies just yet? Or ever.

Also some women want to control their periods.

Most women I know that's on it does it for that.

But aside from that, I agree with the people who say you need to talk to your wife about it.

Nothing can be done until she opens up and talks about it.

[vj. 0]

Hi, Help

Just got married 1 month now. K1 My wife doesn't like to have sex or approach me for sex ?

Don't know what the problem is don't know what to do. I cant live like this some days I don't know if I should go home

she is piss off at what I don't know.

you have answered your own question....you merely have not yet decided to leave.

re-read what you wrote....

life is too short to be miserable.

it is not fair to you or to her.

stand up tall and do what is best for you.

your physical, mental, and emotional health are your top priorities.

if you are not true to yourself you are living a lie.

good luck to you and i hope you find happiness

[New Beginnings 32]

I think a lot of these replies are sad...

Throw in the towel if you don't get your way... she's just using you for a GC if she doesn't want to have sex.

How about try to work on the relationship, how about figure out what's going on so that you can fix it. The first months together will be the hardest and will require you both to be devoted to working on things. Don't just assume things should be a certain way because they almost never are that way!

Also, you committed yourself to this woman. If you believe in a higher power you probably swore to that power that you would love this person for better or for worse. This sounds like one of the "worse" times. It's time to hold true to that commitment. And it's time for her to open up, so in a non-confrontational way, talk to her about it.. don't make her feel sad or guilty, just try to help her figure out what is going on with the BOTH of you, not just her to make her not want it right now.

Edited August 11, 2009 by New Beginnings

[rin and john 71]

Also, I suggest reading marriage building sites such as marriagebuilders.org which even if you aren't christian has a lot of great info. You both should take the emotional needs quiz and figure out what is important to each of you so you can meet each other's needs better.

Agree with this wholeheartedly! Read the book and could easily identify where my first marriage fell apart. The website is actually marriagebuilders.com. The book is "His Needs, Her Needs" by Williard Harley. Read the book together so both of you understand what the others basic needs are in the relationship. Rin and I have both read it, and I still go back to it from time to time.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html

Table of Contents

1. How Affair-proof Is Your Marriage?
2. Why Your Love Bank Never Closes
3. The First Thing She Can't Do Without - Affection
4. The First Thing He Can't Do Without - Sexual Fulfillment
5. She Needs Him to Talk to Her - Conversation
6. He Needs Her to Be His Playmate - Recreational Companionship
7. She Needs to Trust Him Totally - Honesty and Openness
8. He Needs a Good-looking Wife - An Attractive Spouse
9. She Needs Enough Money to Live Comfortably
10. He needs Peace and Quite - Domestic Support
11. She Needs Him to Be a Good Father - Family Support
12. He Needs Her to Be Proud of Him - Admiration
13. How to Survive an Affair
14. From Incompatible to Irresistible

Appendix: Analysis of Emotional Needs Questionnaires

[conquest 0]

From some one that waisted 25 years in a marriage with some one that said she didnt like sex would rather never have it and never came asking for it. It finally ruined our relationship. It will ruin yourrs too if you dont get it fixed now.

It finally came to the point where my ex says I dont love you and I never did and Im not attracted to you. Do not discount that this is not the case. Sure made all the past struggles so clear. If you dont fix this it will never work out unlsee you are on the same page sex wise.

#1 Make sure its not the birth control pills

#2 dont discount that she may not be attracted to you or actually love you

#3 Dont discount the possiblity that it could be all she wanted was to get here to the USA

Not saying it is or isnt but dont be blind to that possiblity. Look at other signs you may be missing

#4 get counseling and have conversations about this, It could be she doesnt like sex and that may make your

life a living hell. You have to decide what to do about that. Just remember love doesnt mean ####### in a

mariage, but it sure make things alot better. You can have all the love in the world but if you dont get along

and you dont click pernality wise love wont do a thing for the relationship

#5 Dont let this go on for years with out resolve or you will be a miserable mess. You could lose every thing you

have too.

#6 Dont discount that you may be doing some thing wrong. Relationships are two way streets. You may be turning

her off. Do you romance her do you help around the house do you help her integrate in to the new life.

#7 She could be terrified of her new surroundings and not be saying any thing. Get her SS# get her the ability to

move around in your city and make new friends ( if she wants a GC this could only make that part worse)

#8 BE HER FRIEND!!! love her be kind to her share with her make her comfortable give her a real life

[NatPatBen 3]

Agree with this wholeheartedly! Read the book and could easily identify where my first marriage fell apart. The website is actually marriagebuilders.com. The book is "His Needs, Her Needs" by Williard Harley. Read the book together so both of you understand what the others basic needs are in the relationship. Rin and I have both read it, and I still go back to it from time to time.

I second the nomination for that book.

[bhajishah 4]

Call her father and see how her mother acts?? the apple may not fall far from the tree.

[trillium13 84]

Call her father and see how her mother acts?? the apple may not fall far from the tree.

I'm sure that's something that every father would love to hear from their son-in-law. "Your daughter doesn't put out, is her mother frigid too?"

[Kar98 0]

Call her father and see how her mother acts?? the apple may not fall far from the tree.

I'm sure that's something that every father would love to hear from their son-in-law. "Your daughter doesn't put out, is her mother frigid too?"

Maybe over a beer or 12?

Edited August 12, 2009 by Kar98

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

Call her father and see how her mother acts?? the apple may not fall far from the tree.

I'm sure that's something that every father would love to hear from their son-in-law. "Your daughter doesn't put out, is her mother frigid too?"

[Cuchita 1]

This is the funniest comment ever!

Call her father and see how her mother acts?? the apple may not fall far from the tree.

I'm sure that's something that every father would love to hear from their son-in-law. "Your daughter doesn't put out, is her mother frigid too?"