My MENA Friends..

[JanaknJanet 0]

My friends.. Thanks for being there.. many know me and know of my story... however .. I must come to reality... ..

I

I wish to express to many I have met on my halted journey how much I appreciate the support and understanding that has been shown.

Due to some situations and information that I have become aware of I have decided to walk.

I have been committed and dedicated to the man I believed was doing the same. Unfortunately reality sets in .. and .. when one half of the equation cannot fulfill the commitment it has to end. .. Jan is in fact .. in reality.. STILL Married.. .. even tho he states he is "free to marry" in India.. that does not give him LEGALITY to marry in USA... .. four years ago he state he had the Legal divorce finalized and was simply awaiting a document. that has NEVER come to light.. .. after his travels to Rome on a business trip.. he returned even more distant than in past... it got me not only more irritated but simply more enlightened. .. a friend of mine who is as well from India.. explained to me .. that it is almost impossible for a Indian man Hindi to fulfill a divorce tru courts. and asked me if i was really sure he was divorced... well.. long story short... I asked Jan.. I need a answer... straight answer... was he divorced.. he simply answered. NO.. .. turned it around and said I knew that.... .. ohhh noooo.. not......I reminded him he said it was completed over three years ago... ..bla bla bla... mis understanding.. miscommunication.. cultural differences.. who knows....

Fact is Fact.. he is not Divorced... .. he is NOT free to express the things he has said.. nor make commitments as he did. ..

He was confused... and couldn't understand why he cannot just come here and be with me.... ... .. I asked him. what part of .. BEING free to make that commitment does he not understand.... .. he stated his love has not changed.. .. cant we just be together........ HELLLLLOOOO.. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE ..?? psahhh... I am nooooo sugar momma... .. I am not desperate... I need a man that is free to commit to me... who can give me him.. .. that I wont sit there thinking .. that any moment.. the Xwife/or family can take away anything we built... What kind of future is that... .. hell it is NOOO future..

Janak said he talked to his lawyer.. and was told what he needed to do.. .. all of which is exactly the same of what he said he did four years ago... .. he then said he would take care of it. and do it. he said that the lawyer said it could take 2-5 more years... hellllloooo??/ what.. he said he would do what was needed... ... I was left in the conversation.. being told he will do it.. .. I asked should I call and see how things are? should I be in contact with him? .. he left the conversation saying.. Ill e-mail you.... I asked .. so what I am to be on hold.. till a email.. he simply said . he would email.. and thus the conversation ended... he hung up.... ..

sitting dazed.. not sure if i had anything left to cry. i tried to decipher what just happened....

well.. now... it is almost 8 weeks since this conspired.... and I have not heard a word... . ..

I did last week.. try to call.. but.. what I got was the .. phone ring then it goes dead.. obviously that he dropped the call. disconnecting it from his side.

NOOO ONE needs their life to be on hold like this.. I cannot say bad concerning this man.. .. I do believe there was something between us.. .. but.. simply said.. it is/was something that could not come to reality. Time has taken its tole.. ..

Whether or not his intentions were legit.. .. it is not something I can live with myself being placed on hold for...

Another year goes by.. and yet I am still the one sitting here .. alone... .. words are simply that words... ..

I cannot afford to place myself on hold due to uncertainties..

Many will say..... he took me for a ride.. we all know that is what people say.. or .. I told you so.. etc..

but .. No one knows what we shared.. what we felt..... .. for that I am grateful to have had that.. if only for the short time I had.

There is no excuse for him to have dropped the ball..... .. .. if he was sincere now with the future of us.. I know I should have heard from him...

Soooooo Please... .. remember.. .. what we are doing now. is simply this.. a journey... learn.. enjoy... love... it can end at anytime...

Best of luck to all.. and hope you find your journey smoother... ..

love to all.. Janet

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Janet, I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this sad and heartbreaking situation...I admire your courage to post it here and I hope that you'll find peace (((HUGS)))

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

so sorry!

[sara..... 371]

im sorry this has happened to you

sara

[R and F 34]

I wish you all the best in your future, I am here if you need to talk.

[Donna A 4]

im sorry to hear your story. it really is sad to have your heart broken. im sure another man will come along soon and you fall in love again. good luck with everything.

[CasandraYounes 0]

I am so sorry that you had to experience that, I wish you the best of luck for the future.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

I'm so sorry to have this happen to you Janet. Take care of yourself and God bless you.

[Nothing1234 2]

Sorry Janet As Donna said...having time to heal then I'm sure the right person will come into your life without you even looking or expecting it. I wish you peace and happiness in your heart and future!

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Learn from it, Grow from it. Everyone coming into our life is there for a reason, although they may not stay. My almost ex husband opened up a door to the world for me, another close friend opened up a new spiritual world for me. Nothing is impossible if you keep your heart, your mind, and your soul open for the Great things in life.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that your heartbreak and numbness will end soon, God Bless You.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Janet, thank you for having the courage it takes to post your story. Best wishes to you.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

My sympathies for this surprise and your sudden losses Janet. I am sending you love and healing and thinking about you now.

[Overin2911 0]

I am so sorry

[prince+angel 3]

Hi! I didn't get a chance to know you here on VJ but your story was truly touching. None of us really knows what the real deal is with someone especially in situations (journeys) like ours.

Unfortunately for most of us, without the day to day interactions we would enjoy if were were dating someone in our town, city state etc .. we can only go by what someone tells & shows us from great distances (naturally never understimate your gut instincts).

I'm sorry to hear things fell apart ... time really does heal anything thats bruised us

Despite it all, I hope it doesnt jade you for the next great thing/person/opportunity that comes your way. Best of luck & take care of U!

[JanaknJanet 0]

I appreciate the words of kindness..

I am not one to take this as being "jaded"

I was given a gift.. the love, friendship and experience that the two of us shared...

He showed me I still can love.. and wish to. ..

If I learn anything from any of this.. it simply is.. that.. each day is special..

we are special... and we dont know when it is not going to be taken from us. .

I now will spend my day.. in the focus as it has been in the past .. as it should be.. and that is the focus of my family.. my daughters...

I am not closing off my heart .. for I do know that there is one that is ment to be for me. ..

I aknow I am a good person.. good intentions.. and.. good spirit... I harm noone.. thus.. it is to be my turn one day to reap what I have sewn.

I know it is not Jan.... he was a gift .. a blessing . and if i can simply glean that he opened the door for my future for someone then so be it..